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Visionary Man/Reason to Hate Pearls (MERGED)


Spartan89

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I don't think I have seen so many red flags in one blog post... She needs to learn about domestic violence/abuse (especially as she may have no concept of non physical abuse), and how to be safe

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Ughh reading this ladie's blog is pissing me off. These fundy families, generally, marry off their daughters and sons too young and they have, generally, have been sheltered from the opposite sex while growing up and from the world around them. Basically, they are marrying someone they barely know and are going to need to establish a partnership with the opposite gender, which they have little to no idea about either.(Courtship via chaperone does not allow for the young couple to get to know each other) They start off married life at a disadvantage. Not to mention having kids almost right away to add more stress. I very much doubt that they have many of the tools, knowledge, or insight needed to make a marriage work.

I am sure this is confusing because marriage, children, family that is all part of God's plan, so when it doesn't work out quite right or the couple finds their marriage difficult to maintain. Then the woman, generally, goes looking for an answer on how to get the marriage to work. Enter the snake oil salesman that sells these men and women an easy answer to all their problems. Why the answer can be found in the BIBLE itself. The woman just needs to submit to the man's headship and all your problems will disappear.

Not all fundy or fundy lite marriages are filled with abuse or asshole males, but patriarchal religions do seem to engender males who find that being dominant is a complete and total power trip for them. Nothing Christ like about it. Just pure ego and the desire to humality and degrade other people especially their wife.

Her first article. FYI: change Being An Helpmeet to Being A Helpmeet. How has no one pointed that out to her yet? I am surprised no one said anything in the comments.

But in the first article: the woman told a story about how her husband told her she was doing a chore the wrong way. Since this was early in their marriage, they had a huge fight. But now those fights are a thing of the past because she no knows she needs to willingly submit to any decision her husband makes. Even when it comes to how to do a household chore.

What the fuck? If my husband told me I was doing a chore wrong because I didn't do the way he thought I should then that chore would be switched to his chore list. For forever. I am not doing it right? Well then get up and do it yourself. Or kindly shut the fuck up. Now if he thought his way was more efficent or I was completel fucking something up then I would listen to his suggestions. But the woman's first thought were similar to my own. She figured instead of telling her she was doing it wrong was he should be grateful that she was doing the chores at all. I wish that she hadn't pushed that thought away and instead had stood her ground. Yes, he should be grateful for your help. Just as she should be grateful for his help.

I have more to say but it is hard to type through so much anger.

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Don't you see, it doesn't matter if it doesn't work out as planned. You put on a smile, and pretend it's working out. The headship can never admit he was wrong, and the helpmeet can never admit she has realized she's stuck with an idiot for a headship. You just grin and bear it. Because that's what god wants apparently.

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I just read the Command Man one-- SO DISTURBING! Why would you want to be married to a bossybutt and have to agree with him if he picks on the way you do things? That sounds miserable, and the guy sounds (and looks!) like a total dick.

Here is the link for those who haven't read this one in the other thread:

littlenaturalcottage.com/2012/03/being-an-helpmeet-to-the-kingly-command-man/

"Kingly"--barf!

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i feel that i must once again plug 7x Sunday, where the women have threads and threads and THREADS on how to be a helpmeet to your X-Man. It's seriously enough to make my blood pressure skyrocket, but i also can't look away.

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i feel that i must once again plug 7x Sunday, where the women have threads and threads and THREADS on how to be a helpmeet to your X-Man. It's seriously enough to make my blood pressure skyrocket, but i also can't look away.

Are you able to find 7x Sunday still?

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We had a topic about it not too long ago.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=8556

When I saw your post, contrary, I was hoping it was back. I agree, it was a great time waster. Not that I need more time wasters.

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This. When I transferred to the state university, during one of the orientation sessions for transferring students, the officer in charge of the campus police escort service actually told women to trust their gut if they got that feeling anytime on campus.

That is one of the worst pieces of "advice" I've seen in a very long time. "learn to ignore your gut." Words fail. I learned at a young age to trust my gut instincts and they've never failed me yet. I have raised my son to also listen to his gut instincts. If a situation doesn't "feel right" or a person makes him uncomfortable, I've told him that he should never ignore those feelings and remove himself from the situation/person right away. He did this once when we were at Target. He was browsing in the sports card section and I was in the household goods section. I looked up to find him suddenly by my side. He told me a guy (an adult) starting striking up a conversation with him while he was looking at the cards and it made him "feel funny," so he told the guy "my mom is waiting for me" and walked quickly away to find me. The guy could have been perfectly fine - but that doesn't matter. He made my son feel uncomfortable and so he made a quick excuse and got the heck outta there.

Now if he'd been some predator and I'd taught my son to ignore his gut and always be polite and obedient to adult males, there could have been an entirely different ending to this story.

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When I started to read this blog entry I envisioned the "kingly command man" as someone like Donald Trump, John F. Kennedy or just the average ceo. Then I scrolled down and I saw her "kingly command man" and omg this "man" looked like a boy in that wedding picture; not just a boy, a wimp.

And she is going to raise her son to become a spoiled tyrant:

"because I don’t want to squelch that personality, but yet there’s only a certain extent to which I can let him command at the ripe old age of 4"

She not only obeys to her husband she also lets herself boss around by her four year old little child. Girl, I never had any kids but as far as I am informed you are supposed to teach your children some manners which includes teaching them that they can not always have it their way and that they shouldn't command other people around.

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She not only obeys to her husband she also lets herself boss around by her four year old little child. Girl, I never had any kids but as far as I am informed you are supposed to teach your children some manners which includes teaching them that they can not always have it their way and that they shouldn't command other people around.

She's convinced her command-man-in-training was born that way. Truth is, he sees daddy treating mom like dirt and wants to be just like Daddy, like any 4 year old boy does. If Daddy treated his wife with respect and believed in an egalitarian marriage,

the 4 year old would emulate that.

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I'm fuming at this! It sounds like her 4yo is already a holy terror and yet she's so blinded by what some dickheads have told her is "biblical" she's not able to comprehend how twisted and unbiblical her viewpoint really is. I just can't imagine being so brainwashed that I'd need time to genuinely consider whether I should be obeying my FOUR year old! :evil:

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When I started to read this blog entry I envisioned the "kingly command man" as someone like Donald Trump, John F. Kennedy or just the average ceo. Then I scrolled down and I saw her "kingly command man" and omg this "man" looked like a boy in that wedding picture; not just a boy, a wimp.

For anyone who watches Game of Thrones, I immediately thought of "King" Joffrey when I saw the picture of "Commander".

And reading the blog, I see he's just as much of a spoiled little tyrant.

Saddest thing is, at some level she knows she is being abused, but has decided to suck it up and deal. Which many women all over the world do for various reasons, I get. But to blog about it like it's a great thing? Shudder.

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Guest Anonymous

That is one of the worst pieces of "advice" I've seen in a very long time. "learn to ignore your gut." Words fail. I learned at a young age to trust my gut instincts and they've never failed me yet. I have raised my son to also listen to his gut instincts. If a situation doesn't "feel right" or a person makes him uncomfortable, I've told him that he should never ignore those feelings and remove himself from the situation/person right away. He did this once when we were at Target. He was browsing in the sports card section and I was in the household goods section. I looked up to find him suddenly by my side. He told me a guy (an adult) starting striking up a conversation with him while he was looking at the cards and it made him "feel funny," so he told the guy "my mom is waiting for me" and walked quickly away to find me. The guy could have been perfectly fine - but that doesn't matter. He made my son feel uncomfortable and so he made a quick excuse and got the heck outta there.

Now if he'd been some predator and I'd taught my son to ignore his gut and always be polite and obedient to adult males, there could have been an entirely different ending to this story.

These women need to be carpet-bombed with copies of "The Gift Of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Mr. De Becker maintains that fear or just that "gut feeling" is your subconscious trying to protect your best interests when your conscious mind has, for whatever reason, opted out.

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If you could lable my husband it would sort of the steady man, but to me he is so much more.

How can they raise their children to ignore their gut feelings? Maybe these feelings are from God and they are teaching their children to ignore God? As a kiddlet and adult to this day I was always encouraged to listen to my gut feelings even if they made no sense at the time. Several times because my mother listened to her gut feelings saved her children's lives even though it really angered her kids at the time before finding out the car they would have been in crashed with no surviviors or the at the very time they would have been driving down the narrow canyon road a gas truck crashed killing everyone in the canyon. When I ignored my gut feeling about taking #3 sonout that day, we wound up in the ER to have 24 stitches put in his baby forehead. I never ignore my gut now and most times never learn why I had the feeling in the first place. Never ever ignore your gut reaction or feelings, never.

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I just showed this quote to my husband and he wishes to join the line to vehemently suggest to people who seriously believe the above that they are doing it wrong.

My husband and I had a fight over how I was doing the dishes when we were newlyweds, too. The conclusion? He does all the dishes now.

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The one that always drives me nuts is when someone says, for example, 'an historic event.' WHAT? You pronounce the H. Why would you need 'an' in front of it? No one says (at least I hope they don't!), "I'm taking an history class." WHY?!!?!?!?????????????

edited so that I could unriffle things

I sometimes say "an historic event". But I never say "an history class". From a linguistics perspective, those two words actually don't start with exactly the same sound. There are thousands of phonemes and only 26 letters to represent them. The written form of language isn't more real or more authentic than the spoken form. In this case, historic and history start with slightly different sounds so I think "an" is just fine in front of historic. But "an helpmeet" sounds like a case of hyper-correction in an attempt to sound more educated than she actually is.

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