Jump to content
IGNORED

''If a women wants to fight like a man...


tabitha2

Recommended Posts

then she is going to get hit like a man''

If a women wants to fight and hit a guy first,does he have the right hit her back?

I have heard this particular phrase uttered numerous times and the idea is completely agreed upon by an aquaintance of mine in regards to her and her boyfriend-he has know problem hitting her if she starts it and she agrees.Opinion?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The precedent seems to be that if someone punches you, it is acceptable to shoot them in self-defense.

Edited for Riffle

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I find anyone resorting to throwing punches or any kind of violence, man or woman, to be absolutely unacceptable. I find the parts of the old Parent Trap movie where she punches her husband in the face (or even in the new one, where she throws a hairdryer) just as distasteful as the old John Wayne movies where he drags her through the town in her underwear. Women don't get a pass to not use their brains just because they might not hit as hard.

That being said, answering violence with violence is just stupid. I hope your friend and her boyfriend learn better ways to resolve conflict before they have kids, because that is just modeling dysfunctional behavior.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If a woman hits a man she's committed a crime. It's called assault and/or battery. It's not okay. If ANYONE hits me then I feel I have the right to defend myself and/or press charges. If a kid hits me I probably won't hit them back if I can suppress the automatic movement of doing so, but they're sure as hell not going to get away with it. I'm a lot smaller than my husband but if I hit him I know he would call the police and rightly so!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A friend of mine recently said this and I'd never heard of it before. IDK.

My Grandmother would pick and pick and pick and not let my Grandfather walk away and do everything she could to piss him off, even hitting him in the face - which she knew he thought was the rudest thing she could do. This would go on for hours. Then he'd push her or hit her and storm off and she'd get all upset...and say see he's an abusive man.

Hitting her was wrong. He had a temper but you have to take personal responsibility. You can hide behind the "you can't hit a girl". You can hit someone and expect to get away with it for being female.

I personally don't think anyone should hit anyone else. By the time you are grown you should be able to handle things differently. I tell my 5 year old to use his words adults should have that down.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you're going around hitting people, you have to expect that they're going to try to defend themselves.

HOWEVER, the attacked person shouldn't use any more force than necessary to get away from the person hitting them. It's one thing if you hit the person who just hit you, it's entirely another thing if you then proceed to put them in a coma.

With that said, I'd be very concerned both that your friend is often hitting her boyfriend AND that he's often hitting her back. One or both of them needs to find a better way to deal with anger.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

then she is going to get hit like a man''

If a women wants to fight and hit a guy first,does he have the right hit her back?

I have heard this particular phrase uttered numerous times and the idea is completely agreed upon by an aquaintance of mine in regards to her and her boyfriend-he has know problem hitting her if she starts it and she agrees.Opinion?

I'm not sure what you are asking exactly. If she hits her boyfriend, he hits her back? Is that okay? If they are playing around, like boxing or whatnot, I'm indifferent. If they are hitting each other out of anger or spite, I see that as a problem. I don't think it's acceptable to hit others, especially when it's someone you love. There are times I've wanted to hit people and I have hit my siblings when I was younger (and got in serious trouble for it), but it was not okay and I would not even consider it now. If a woman hits a man, can he hit her back? I actually feel that he can. It's not a set given that the man is stronger physically than the woman. To say women can hit men, but men can't hit women is making women into weaker creatures. I don't think boyfriends/girlfriends or spouses should hit each other at all. I've seen couples yell and get angry with each other, but hitting them is not and should never be okay whether it's the man or the woman doing it. It sounds like your friend and her boyfriend have an unhealthy relationship to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I believe that violence is justified if it is necessary for self-defense. When I was assaulted and mugged in 2008, I (who was already a big fan of the Second Amendment at the time) became even more serious about firearm safety.

In a situation of domestic violence (male-male, female-male, male-female, female-female), I think that "hitting back" is also only warranted if it's necessary for self-defense. Personally, the idea of hitting one's partner is upsetting, whether the one doing the hitting is male or female.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it really depends on the situation.

First off, people shouldn't be hitting people, period. If a couple is hitting each other frequently, then they have problems they need to work out and probably be in counseling for (it is possible for both people in a relationship to be abusive).

OTOH, I can also see where some people would agree with it. I've known women who will get in a man's face, scream, throw things, hit them, etc just to get the man to hit them or fight with them. It's really screwed up and dysfunctional, but I couldn't blame a man for hitting back if he was attacked, at least to the point of getting away from the situation.

The part that makes it different than people of the same gender fighting is that many men are bigger, stronger, and able to hit harder than many women, so a woman could end up seriously injured even if the amount of punches they threw was the same. There are also the relationship dynamics that come into it because male-female fights tend to be domestic violence with all of the issues that involves, much more often than 2 men or 2 women fighting does.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll be honest, if anyone hit me and I needed the time to get away, I'd hit them back, man or woman. I don't care what's between your legs... if you throw the first punch, and I feel I NEED to throw a punch in order to remove myself to a safe area, or because you are continuing to throw punches, I will. Choices have consequences, if you choose, as a woman, to hit me, as a man, the consequence is my option to hit you back. If it can be avoided, I don't think anyone should hit back, but sometimes it can't, and thus it is what it is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My boyfriend said something along those lines to me, he would never hit me unless I hit him first. Neither one of us believe this will ever an issue because we both practice other ways of conflict resolution. But I do agree with the sentiment, if you can dish it out you need to be able to take it. Though hitting is never acceptable.

I will joke spank my cousin and she loves it, but I would never do it for real.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was always taught, never throw the first punch, but always throw the last. I was also always taught that if I had to hit 'em hit 'em hard, and run like hell. Self-defense is fine, but running away is better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it depends on the situation and has nothing to do with gender. I agree that violence is not an ideal reaction to anything, but I think if I was assaulted or, say, punched in the face I think I would react by hitting back. I wouldn't start a fight or assault a fellow being but if I did I would expect that person to react in self-defense. I think a person is entitled to defend themselves regardless of their gender or the gender of their assailant.

I also know people who were in abusive relationships where one partner picked and picked, even hit, and then flipped the hell out when their SO finally reacted. In a situation where someone feels compelled to hit their SO, even in self-defense, they need to remove themselves from the situation. That's not a matter of gender either. That's ending a volatile, abusive relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure in what context the OP's quote was taken in. When one person hits another person, it's assault. When the second person hits back, it's a brawl. I'd avoid getting into a violent altercation and prefer to let police deal with it. The only time violence is appropriate is for self-defense so you can get away seek help. I'm not sure how this has anything to do with gender?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was always taught, never throw the first punch, but always throw the last. I was also always taught that if I had to hit 'em hit 'em hard, and run like hell. Self-defense is fine, but running away is better.

I was taught the same thing. I was in a situation where I couldn't run and had to fight once, but the other times, I'm thankful for my long legs and love of running shoes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure in what context the OP's quote was taken in. When one person hits another person, it's assault. When the second person hits back, it's a brawl. I'd avoid getting into a violent altercation and prefer to let police deal with it. The only time violence is appropriate is for self-defense so you can get away seek help. I'm not sure how this has anything to do with gender?

This is exactly what I was trying to say except yours is more coherent. Follow me around today and speak for me? :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was always taught, never throw the first punch, but always throw the last. I was also always taught that if I had to hit 'em hit 'em hard, and run like hell. Self-defense is fine, but running away is better.

Exactly. I've taken a self defense class and I have to say I have no problem fighting back if attacked, in fact I would use my favorite maneuver where you reach between the legs of your male assailant, grab, and pull. But the point of self defense is not to play Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it's to temporarily disable your opponent so you can run.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the original poster was actually asking if it's ok for a guy to hit a girl in self defense. You know the old adage told to boys 'don't hit girls'. Male and female children should all be taught 'don't hit'. We kinda went off on a slight tangent there.

Seems the agreement is, it's better to run, but if you have to throw a punch in self defense, then do it. Doesn't matter if it's a guy or girl you're defending against.

Frankly, I think all children should be involved in self defense courses. Not just to teach them how to physically defend themselves, but to teach them how to diffuse a situation, that it's ok to run, and to also build their self confidence so they can defend themselves.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was taught the same thing. I was in a situation where I couldn't run and had to fight once, but the other times, I'm thankful for my long legs and love of running shoes.

I'm a sprinter and would probably run away from an attacker. And if I couldn't run away, I'd have no moral problem defending myself with my knife or my gun. I don't prefer violence, but I do prefer being alive. If that means a man gets shot in the leg because he tried to pull my pants down against my will, so be it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The vast, vast majority of incidents of a man hitting a woman do not start with the woman hitting the man. That's an intentional misunderstanding of the entire issue. It's a red herring, meant to draw attention away from men who abuse women.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The only time violence is appropriate is for self-defense so you can get away seek help. I'm not sure how this has anything to do with gender?

That pretty much sums up my feelings. And to be honest, if I suddenly decide to start wailing on a guy, no matter how big he is, I expect he will defend himself with any means necessary. Even if it means knocking me on my ass.

That being said, I do kickboxing, the classes are mostly co-ed and people usually mess around before class, after class, and during breaks by punching/kicking each other lightly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hate this mentality so much. Pretty much all of my family members have said at one time or another, something to this effect, but it's actually been more like "If a woman wants to act like a man, I'll treat her like one.". My stepfather would justify his abuse of my mom by saying that she was acting like a man or "a butch" for usurping his authority or failing to obey him. I also have an uncle who beat up one of his female cousins really badly, and used this mentality to justify it. His cousin is a very masculine lesbian (I mention this because it is one of the things he mentioned when he was excusing his behavior, that she acted like a man), and she physically attacked my uncle once (she was jealous because apparently her girlfriend at the time had a thing for my uncle), and I heard that he beat her up to the extent where she needed to go to the hospital. I don't think that she should have attacked him, especially over something like that, but my uncle was much bigger and stronger than she was, and he would have known that. I can see trying to subdue her (hold her down so she'd stop hitting him, for example), because I think it's ridiculous to expect somebody to allow themselves to be beaten up without at least protecting themselves, but I just don't think that there is any justification for beating a woman. My own mother, who is a battered woman, has also excused this by saying that their cousin shouldn't have tried to fight like a man if she didn't want that in return. It's pretty sickening. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hate this mentality so much. Pretty much all of my family members have said at one time or another, something to this effect, but it's actually been more like "If a woman wants to act like a man, I'll treat her like one.". My stepfather would justify his abuse of my mom by saying that she was acting like a man or "a butch" for usurping his authority or failing to obey him. I also have an uncle who beat up one of his female cousins really badly, and used this mentality to justify it. His cousin is a very masculine lesbian (I mention this because it is one of the things he mentioned when he was excusing his behavior, that she acted like a man), and she physically attacked my uncle once (she was jealous because apparently her girlfriend at the time had a thing for my uncle), and I heard that he beat her up to the extent where she needed to go to the hospital. I don't think that she should have attacked him, especially over something like that, but my uncle was much bigger and stronger than she was, and he would have known that. I can see trying to subdue her (hold her down so she'd stop hitting him, for example), because I think it's ridiculous to expect somebody to allow themselves to be beaten up without at least protecting themselves, but I just don't think that there is any justification for beating a woman. My own mother, who is a battered woman, has also excused this by saying that their cousin shouldn't have tried to fight like a man if she didn't want that in return. It's pretty sickening. :(

Okay but it's not okay for anyone to hit anyone. It's not okay for men to hit men. The men who were being violent were making up excuses. It's just as much not okay for a man to hit a woman as for a woman to hit a man.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aargh, this thread is probably the most triggering thing known to mankind for me. It's an important discussion, though.

I said about my friend who died due to DV. Her partner killed her. She thought domestic abuse was normal, after all Mum's partners hit her. If you are a woman, you are rude to men when they annoy you, and then they hit you. That was how life worked, to her. One day she got hit so much that she died.

It makes me unbelievably angry that anyone can even defend DV. I was in horror for months because I wanted to know if she'd lived long enough to try to go for help. The polis wouldn't tell us. In the end they read out her post mortem at trial. She sustained multiple serious and fatal injuries trying to fight him off.

I tell people about that now. Where the wounds were, how long it took her to die, how she died and how it feels to be sitting in a witness room or in a courtroom with a murderer. Not as a matter of course, but when people say stupid shite like "Well, some wimmen need a wee smack now and again."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay but it's not okay for anyone to hit anyone. It's not okay for men to hit men. The men who were being violent were making up excuses. It's just as much not okay for a man to hit a woman as for a woman to hit a man.

I agree.

My father's version of the OP's quote was, "A man should never hit a lady. But once she hits you, she's no longer a lady."

My thought was always, "Why is anyone hitting somebody else in the first place?" Even most kindergarteners know you're not supposed to hit people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.