Forced Adoptions Come To Light - Sad

[Caxpax]

http://www.thenation.com/article/shotgun-adoption

An article about coerced adoptions via Crisis Pregnancy Centers.

Or you can google "Bethany Christian Services adoption" and quickly you will find some sad stories of coercion from birth mothers.

[Palimpsest]

http://www.thenation.com/article/shotgun-adoption

An article about coerced adoptions via Crisis Pregnancy Centers.

Or you can google "Bethany Christian Services adoption" and quickly you will find some sad stories of coercion from birth mothers.

Thanks for the help! I think I miswrote my last sentence though when I said "established." I should have said reputable.

I think I'm putting Crisis Pregnancy Centers (CPC) into the "Religious Right" extremist groups box. Are you saying that these CPC are actually mainstream organizations? How much, if any, oversight is there and is adoption regulated at the state or federal level? I know access to records for adopted people varies by state.

I knew Bethany Christian Services was big, but not that big. Is it also considered reputable? I thought they mainly preyed on developing countries and there they have a bad rep. FYI, Ethiopia recently terminated Bethany's adoption activities there and have cut back on all international adoptions.

I've mainly been looking at international adoptions to the US and know very little about domestic adoption in the US. Any information is welcome.

I do have to do some actual work now, but will be back later.

ETA Grammar matters. :oops:

[emmiedahl]

As a former teen mother, I think that more people need to be aware that it is not of the debbil. There is an article here that addresses some of the myths about it. http://adoptioncritic.com/2010/04/16/th ... parenting/ I am a fan of adoption, married to a man who was adopted and sister to an adopted child. But young girls need to know that they *can* be parents and still have a great life if that is what they desire. And society needs to facilitate them in doing this.

Also, forced adoptions are occurring through abuses in CPS.

S36rozABiZk

[BelieveinScience]

As a former teen mother, I think that more people need to be aware that it is not of the debbil. There is an article here that addresses some of the myths about it. http://adoptioncritic.com/2010/04/16/th ... parenting/ I am a fan of adoption, married to a man who was adopted and sister to an adopted child. But young girls need to know that they *can* be parents and still have a great life if that is what they desire. And society needs to facilitate them in doing this.

Also, forced adoptions are occurring through abuses in CPS.

This. My friend did an exceptional job raising her little girl and stepped up to the plate. She also had help from her parents in the beginning but she graduated HS and went on and got a good paying full time job and moved out and is now happily married with a lot more kids. Teen parents can do anything any other parent can do and they can be excellent moms/dads. Instead of crucifying teen parents alive (which I see all the time where I am) we should be building them up to be successful.

[emmiedahl]

This is something I am really passionate about. We had a "pregnancy epidemic" at my school, so a lot of my high school friends were teen moms. Everyone has ended up basically in the social class from whence they came. And the people I am personally friends with have managed to provide nice stable family lives for their children, who are now teens themselves. My best friend from high school was pregnant at 15 and married at 16; she is still married and her daughter is preparing to go to college. We need to stop telling young mothers that they cannot do it. Because they can. It makes things harder, but the lie that you are destroying your own and your baby's life is just that: a lie.

[BelieveinScience]

This is something I am really passionate about. We had a "pregnancy epidemic" at my school, so a lot of my high school friends were teen moms. Everyone has ended up basically in the social class from whence they came. And the people I am personally friends with have managed to provide nice stable family lives for their children, who are now teens themselves. My best friend from high school was pregnant at 15 and married at 16; she is still married and her daughter is preparing to go to college. We need to stop telling young mothers that they cannot do it. Because they can. It makes things harder, but the lie that you are destroying your own and your baby's life is just that: a lie.

My friend refers to her daughter as the child who saved her life (she was into hard core drugs, promiscuity etc.. before she got pregnant).

When I was in 5th or 6th grade our school actually collected supplies like diapers, bottles, baby clothes to drop off at a teen pregnancy crisis center to help out teen moms. It was pretty remarkable to see a school focus on that.

[Palimpsest]

As a former teen mother, I think that more people need to be aware that it is not of the debbil. There is an article here that addresses some of the myths about it. http://adoptioncritic.com/2010/04/16/th ... parenting/ I am a fan of adoption, married to a man who was adopted and sister to an adopted child. But young girls need to know that they *can* be parents and still have a great life if that is what they desire. And society needs to facilitate them in doing this.

Also, forced adoptions are occurring through abuses in CPS.

Holy shit, I'll never finish my work at this rate! It is getting late.

I completely agree that teens can be great mothers if they are given the right supports.

Wow on the video. That is an absolute disgrace. Parental rights can and should be terminated in cases of extreme abuse or neglect, but that is just awful.

As an adopted person, I'm honestly ambivalent about adoption. I see it from the perspective that while a successful adoption can be the cause of amazing joy for the adoptive parent and a better life for many children -- it is always rooted in loss, failure (real or perceived), and pain. How each part of the triad experiences this varies, of course, with the situation. In my case, I had good (not perfect because of all the lies) adoptive parents who did their best. On the other hand, I can't say the same for the church members and extended family who muttered about "bad blood" and pointed out that I "was only adopted" to my face but behind their backs. Nasty. And children do internalise these things.

Adoption is so incredibly complex and feelings are passionate on all sides, but I think we can all agree that coercion is always wrong.

[Eclipse]

I just want to point out that it was not only the Catholic Church that did this. Others did this as well including Presbyterians and the Salvation Army, as well as secular governments. One Canadian newspaper has been covering this story lately and many of the young, unwed mothers were told the baby died. What went on in the past is disgusting and horrific. It should be the mother's choice.

Here are some of the links to the articles I mentioned:

news.nationalpost.com/2012/03/09/curtain-lifts-on-decades-of-forced-adoptions-for-unwed-mothers-in-canada/

news.nationalpost.com/2012/03/23/your-baby-is-dead-mothers-say-their-supposedly-stillborn-babies-were-stolen-from-them/

news.nationalpost.com/2012/03/15/you-suffered-just-as-much/ (article focuses on the children taken from their mothers)

news.nationalpost.com/2012/03/13/coerced-adoption-salvation-army-launches-review-of-maternity-homes-that-housed-unwed-mothers/

news.nationalpost.com/2012/03/11/p-e-i-woman-calls-for-inquiry-into-adoption-practices-that-led-to-systematic-removal-of-children/

[27randomscribbles]

Palimpsest,

I'm coping ok...but I've also found a good counselor and I'm working through some things. Reunion is definitely NOT easy!

Everyone,

I've worked with the pro-choice group at my university and you would be appalled by how many "crisis pregnancy centers" are out there. There were at least 7 in the "medium size" city I went to school in...and two abortion clinics. There was even one on my PUBLIC university campus, operating through one of the church groups. I did some undercover work (pretended I was single and thought I was pregnant, sometimes being honest that I was married but thought I had an unwanted pregnancy, etc) and it's horrible. They look like a regular clinic from the outside and usually just advertise "free pregnancy tests" and "free counseling", etc. Then I went in and would always fill out a form where they asked all the "normal" questions...then it got funky. I had to put my religion on the form. And when you actually start talking to someone they keep going back to God and God's plan for me, even though I told them I was not religious. They offer "options counseling" which was basically trying to talk me out of abortion using every cliche pro-life method out there. They also always tried to talk me into adoption, even when I told the truth that I was happily married! And all this before they would even let me take a damn pregnancy test, which is usually the cheapest urine test available.

So yeah. These things are all over. Just google "abortion" or "pregnancy options" in your area and I'm sure you'll come up with a list of them. Some are extremely sneaky though, and you have to dig deep into their website to find their agenda. They can be deceivingly "neutral" in their ads and websites, like one that I visited that said nowhere on their site that they were religious or pro-life...and then when I got there they gave me a sermon and told me abortion was murder.

Also, I am also very aware (and terrified) of the recent surge of religious right views in our political sphere. The fact that women are called sluts on popular radio shows for using birth control...hell just the fact that we are still debating abortion rights and are now even debating birth control usage! The politicians coming out of the woodworks are scaring the hell out of me. What I see as "extreme" seems to be becoming more and more normal and accepted. Scary to me.

[BelieveinScience]

Palimpsest,

I'm coping ok...but I've also found a good counselor and I'm working through some things. Reunion is definitely NOT easy!

Everyone,

I've worked with the pro-choice group at my university and you would be appalled by how many "crisis pregnancy centers" are out there. There were at least 7 in the "medium size" city I went to school in...and two abortion clinics. There was even one on my PUBLIC university campus, operating through one of the church groups. I did some undercover work (pretended I was single and thought I was pregnant, sometimes being honest that I was married but thought I had an unwanted pregnancy, etc) and it's horrible. They look like a regular clinic from the outside and usually just advertise "free pregnancy tests" and "free counseling", etc. Then I went in and would always fill out a form where they asked all the "normal" questions...then it got funky. I had to put my religion on the form. And when you actually start talking to someone they keep going back to God and God's plan for me, even though I told them I was not religious. They offer "options counseling" which was basically trying to talk me out of abortion using every cliche pro-life method out there. They also always tried to talk me into adoption, even when I told the truth that I was happily married! And all this before they would even let me take a damn pregnancy test, which is usually the cheapest urine test available.

So yeah. These things are all over. Just google "abortion" or "pregnancy options" in your area and I'm sure you'll come up with a list of them. Some are extremely sneaky though, and you have to dig deep into their website to find their agenda. They can be deceivingly "neutral" in their ads and websites, like one that I visited that said nowhere on their site that they were religious or pro-life...and then when I got there they gave me a sermon and told me abortion was murder.

Also, I am also very aware (and terrified) of the recent surge of religious right views in our political sphere. The fact that women are called sluts on popular radio shows for using birth control...hell just the fact that we are still debating abortion rights and are now even debating birth control usage! The politicians coming out of the woodworks are scaring the hell out of me. What I see as "extreme" seems to be becoming more and more normal and accepted. Scary to me.

Scribbles- To make it clear the pregnancy crisis center we donated to helped house teens who already had their babies and we're getting help with simple things like shelter for them and their baby's. It wasn't come here and we'll give you an abortion type of place.

[27randomscribbles]

Scribbles- To make it clear the pregnancy crisis center we donated to helped house teens who already had their babies and we're getting help with simple things like shelter for them and their baby's. It wasn't come here and we'll give you an abortion type of place.

If they aren't working with pregnant women and trying to dissuade them from having an abortion, then they aren't who I'm talking about. And there really aren't any "come here and we'll give you an abortion type of place". In addition to state restrictions, most clinics require some form of counseling first to make sure it's what you really want to do.

Here's a list of some of the things the "bad" CPC's do:

-may not give you complete and correct information about all your options — abortion, adoption, and parenting

-may try to frighten you with misleading films and pictures to keep you from choosing abortion

-may lie to you about the medical and emotional effects of abortion

-may tell you that you are not pregnant even if you are. This may fool you into continuing your pregnancy without knowing it. If your decision is delayed, it could make abortion more risky. It could also keep you from getting early prenatal care.

-may discourage you from using certain methods of birth control that are very safe and effective

-will refuse to give you any information on how to obtain an abortion.

-may offer to help with the baby (free clothes, etc) but only if you take certain "classes" with them.

[BelieveinScience]

If they aren't working with pregnant women and trying to dissuade them from having an abortion, then they aren't who I'm talking about. And there really aren't any "come here and we'll give you an abortion type of place". In addition to state restrictions, most clinics require some form of counseling first to make sure it's what you really want to do.

Here's a list of some of the things the "bad" CPC's do:

-may not give you complete and correct information about all your options — abortion, adoption, and parenting

-may try to frighten you with misleading films and pictures to keep you from choosing abortion

-may lie to you about the medical and emotional effects of abortion

-may tell you that you are not pregnant even if you are. This may fool you into continuing your pregnancy without knowing it. If your decision is delayed, it could make abortion more risky. It could also keep you from getting early prenatal care.

-may discourage you from using certain methods of birth control that are very safe and effective

-will refuse to give you any information on how to obtain an abortion.

-may offer to help with the baby (free clothes, etc) but only if you take certain "classes" with them.

You're right. I didn't mean abortion I meant persuade into adoption. Not sure where my mind was with that post.

[Rosa]

Rosa, I'm trying to research this more so I hope you don't mind my asking -- could you be more specific about where you are hearing and reading these stories? Are they recent? People you know? Are they domestic (US) or international adoptions? Are any adoption agencies named? Were they private adoptions, as I expect Lyndsie's (other thread) are?

There's a growing amount out there regarding international adoptions being coerced or misrepresented to the mothers, but I have not come accross much in the US in recent years. Generally, the US negative stories concern adoptive parents reneging on open adoption agreements. In those cases the mother technically willingly gave up the child.

I've only come across a few news accounts when the mother claims to have been really coerced by established agencies in the last 20 years or so.

Thanks.

I'm close to 40, so the few stories I got direct from birthmoms are from the late '80s. But there's a lot out there in birthmom blogland - check out one writer's story here: http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/

I would say that, outside of the rightwing religious folks, there's not too much outright coercion, but like I said, there is a lot of lying and manipulation from private agencies.