Miscarriage- opportunity to rest & trust: Amen says Steve M

[Guest Anonymous]

From the comments on the memorial post for Susanna Joy Maxwell:

 

 

Quote

Jolene says:

March 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I am so sorry to hear about their loss. We went through somewhere around two dozen losses before we found out I had a blood clotting disorder that prevented them from “stickingâ€. We had our first “sticky†baby in Feb. 2010 and hoping for another one in the fall. Many prayers and blessings to them as they wait to be reunited with their angel baby.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Two dozen….. Many opportunities to rest and trust. Amen.

 

He wasn't anywhere near as insensitive in other comments, but FFS, why doesn't someone in the family have a word with him, when his responses are so breathtakingly cruel?

 

Well done to Rebecca K whose comment showed such empathy and caring for the experiences of women who lose much wanted pregnancies. She is worth 10 of you Steve...

[Jessica]

:o :o :o

[Guest Anonymous]

I know. Doesn't it make you want to go round and break every one of his fingers and toes:

Twenty reasons to give thanks to the Lord. Twenty opportunities to suffer for His glory. Praise the Lord! Let all God's people shout "amen"!

Perhaps following up by stabbing him in the bollocks with shards of glass from one of Uriah's cracked windscreens:

Oh to experience the Peace that passeth understanding. Resting joyfully in Him. A-fucking-men.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Perhaps the whole Maxwell family has been brainwashed to agree with him?

It's a meme among some, that you should treasure suffering because it brings you closer to Jesus and lets you realize just how powerless you are in the face of fate (or the devil or whatever else) and so you realize you need Jesus all the more. So good things are good, because you see how good God is, and bad things are good, because it lets you have suffering and empathize with Jesus.

I can't imagine rationalizing everything that way, but it's a pattern. No matter what happens the only thing to do is be thankful. Argh.

[kpmom]

Perhaps the whole Maxwell family has been brainwashed to agree with him?

It's a meme among some, that you should treasure suffering because it brings you closer to Jesus and lets you realize just how powerless you are in the face of fate (or the devil or whatever else) and so you realize you need Jesus all the more. So good things are good, because you see how good God is, and bad things are good, because it lets you have suffering and empathize with Jesus.

I can't imagine rationalizing everything that way, but it's a pattern. No matter what happens the only thing to do is be thankful. Argh.

Yes, they even rationalized their grief over Susannah this way. I guess if you believe in an all powerful, loving God and you've been obedient to him, but something tragic like this happens, there really is no other way to rationalize it.

You wonder though, are they allowed to really grieve? Or do they have to stuff their feelings? To me it seems like there's a fine line between "resting in Jesus" and not being allowed to show your true feelings, maybe even to acknowledge them to yourself. I wonder if that's where Teri's depression came from.

[Witsec7]

I often wonder if he isn't a sociopath devoid of empathy.

[Mountain Girl]

To paraphrase this asshole: Congratulations on your dead fetuses. You must be so thankful.

And we can infer the rest: Maybe when you're thankful enough, the Lord will bless you with an actual living child. Amen.

I've never had a pregnancy but, yes, I want to punch him in his smug doucheface on behalf of this poor woman and others who have lost pregnancies.

[LadyBlue]

I've lost around the same number (stopped counting after 7; hurt too much) and I guarantee I wasn't resting or trusting. Raging and grieving were a lot more applicable.

What an asshat he is.

[WanderingStar]

This kind of thinking is dangerous! There is a big difference between making peace with a situation (whether or not you ever "get over it", so to speak) and never being allowed to feel or display grief. Grieving is natural and healthy. Like with all emotions, if they are not expressed, over time the grief will continue to build and mentally crush the person suffering from it. It could even lead to a breakdown. I've read several times that it really is possible to die from a broken heart and I'm sure a lot of people that supposedly died from such may have had no positive outlets to express their grief through. Grief also consists of stages and so it's almost impossible to leap from the first stages to the last stage, acceptance.

Personally, I love being able to just curl up and cry when things are getting to be too much for me. Not that I enjoy being sad, but letting it all out like that helps me to open myself up to joy and happiness again. Of course, everyone grieves in different ways, and some people just never cry no matter how badly their heart is being wrenched. I wonder if any of the fundies we observe penalize and shame their children for not crying as opposed to punishing them for not being stoic or putting on a smile?

For everyone here that has experienced a miscarriage, I am so sorry. I have never had a miscarriage (haven't ever been pregnant either) so I wouldn't have any idea how you're feeling about it, but you're all in my thoughts. I've been through my own personal grief though so Steve's responses make me burn with anger. When I read further back on his blog and learned about Susannah, I ached for the family. I highly disagree with their lifestyle but I'm always going to feel sad about a baby dying no matter whose baby it was, and would have only expressed sympathy if I'd commented on the blog. It's startling that Steve would be so insensitive to someone suffering the same way Nathan and Melanie were. Think, Steve, is that really how Jesus would behave?

[Deleted03]

Hey Annie you're talking about a godly man! Never doubt his opinion about how women should experience miscarriages! God gave you the gift of time, lady! Enjoy it!

[allyisyourpally5]

I am shocked. Even for Steve, the way he has spoken to children, that is beyond low. The family should be ashamed of themselves. I wish Nathan and Melanie would run far away.

How much does anyone want to bet this comment will soon vanish, we know he reads here

Hey Steve, Im glad you have no conferences this year, maybe families are finally seeing some sense that your life is so unbelievabley dull and actually very Ungodly (yes you can go cry) - Jesus doesn't want people hiding behind a brick wall, and chore packs can't get through to heaven, nor does the bible even mention them, so no they are not a requirement for Gods Kingdom. Finally some people are seeing the light on you, and some children can be saved from the life of slavery and joylessness. I hope your comment scares more people away from you and that all your insensitivity, cowardness and general stupidity will come back and hit you hard.

[flojo]

From the comments on the memorial post for Susanna Joy Maxwell:

He wasn't anywhere near as insensitive in other comments, but FFS, why doesn't someone in the family have a word with him, when his responses are so breathtakingly cruel?

Well done to Rebecca K whose comment showed such empathy and caring for the experiences of women who lose much wanted pregnancies. She is worth 10 of you Steve...

Rebecca Ks comments were very well thought out.