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"Work it out with your rapist..."


muffynbear

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http://www.aclu.org/blog/womens-rights/ ... ist-no-way

Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way, as one Texas student, called Faith (not her real name), found out last year, after she was raped, at school, by a fellow student. Faith took the brave step of reporting her rape to school officials only to be told to "work it out" with her rapist.

What?!? "Work it out"???

This is rape we are talking about — a violent and invasive act that often requires intensive rehabilitation for the victim. The student needed support and protection from the school officials to whom she reported the assault, and instead, received the opposite. They blew it off.

And it gets worse. The officials at her school ultimately charged her with sexual misconduct, and sent her to the same off-campus alternative school as her rapist, where she "had to not only face him, but the bullying of others because he bragged about it."

:angry-screaming: :angry-cussingblack: :angry-cussingwhite: :angry-banghead: :angry-cussing: :angry-jumpinganger: :angry-steamingears: :obscene-birdiered:

There aren't enough middle fingers to put up.

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Healthcare joke from Kristen Schaal.... (via the Daily Show):

[for relevance, substitute "Texas" for "Oklahoma".]

Which is not considered a 'person' in Oklahoma?

A. A corporation B. A fertilized egg C. A woman

Answer C !!

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Fuck. That. Noise.

If I ever saw my rapist again I would probably have a panic attack or seizure, not "work it out" with him.

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Guest Anonymous

OMFG WTH??? :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: So not only was she told to work it out with her rapist, she was also charged with sexual misconduct, was sent to an alternative campus as her rapist was, and had to put up with bullying because said rapist bragged to his friends. OMFG WTH??? :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: Here's what needs to happen:

1) Rapist needs to be put in a jail cell with good 'ol Bubba who will make him his bitch

2) Bullies need their asses kicked out of the solar system

3) Full investigation of this campus by real law enforcement not campus clown cops/officials

4) Clean house at said campus

5) Major harassment/sexual harassment/bullying education and very strict rules & punishments put in place against all of those.

I hope "Faith" gets the help and support she needs. My heart aches for her. No woman or girl should have to endure this kind of thing...EVER!

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My husband has the if only I could get away with it plan if he ever met mine.

Rapes in colleges and universities are very common and they largely get away with it because the schools protect them.

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Guest Anonymous
1) Rapist needs to be put in a jail cell with good 'ol Bubba who will make him his bitch

No, on two counts. Rape is never okay, and misogynistic slurs aren't good either. Prison rape isn't a joke. Also, what is this "good 'ol Bubba" coming from you? Aren't you the one who has a fit about negative stereotypes of Southerners? Aren't you perpetuating that?

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I wonder if this was the same school that kicked a cheerleader off her squad because she refused to cheer for her rapist.

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A little background on the student:

https://www.aclu.org/blog/womens-rights ... eyond-fist

December 6th, 2010, was a day in my life I will never understand, and probably never come to grips with. I thought that a school was the safest place to be — it turned out that I was never more wrong in my life. You see, that was the day I was raped at school and the day I went to a teacher for protection. I thought I would be taken care of. At age 17 you are not fully an adult. You rely on others who are adults to help you. This did not happen to me. I was told to "confront my attacker." My world began to spin. The bullying went beyond the fist. It went through the skin and bones to my very soul, and now I had no help at all. How was I going to tell my parents about this? What was going to happen to my world? In fact, the teacher I had told saw my parents that night and never said a word. Eventually my family and I turned to the police, but if it was not for a friend of mine I confided in nothing would have ever happened, and I wouldn't be sharing this with you or trying to pull others up through the hell they have been through.
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I feel like a Facebook page or group needs to be started... NO I will not work it out with my rapist. This is disgusting and I'm glad she fought back.

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I feel like a Facebook page or group needs to be started... NO I will not work it out with my rapist. This is disgusting and I'm glad she fought back.

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1) Rapist needs to be put in a jail cell with good 'ol Bubba who will make him his bitch

I do not believe you said this.

1) You are stereotyping homosexual men as abusive rapists, and also implying that they are likely to be criminal.

2) Because of its association with the southern part of the United States, Bubba is also often used outside the South as a pejorative to mean a person of low economic status and limited education, so you are insulting people who are poor and uneducated by implying that they are male rapists who are likely to be criminal.

There's probably more when I've picked my jaw up from the floor and thought about it.

Geniebelle, does it ever occur to you to engage your brain before speaking?

Please, just consider the subtext to what you have said.

ETA those of us who were talking on the Rape thread on chatter have been thinking about doing something to help rape survivors. As we're an international group of women I was looking for something international, perhaps for survivors of war rapes, but may be there is something we could do here? It doesn't matter to me that the young woman is American: she could be my daughter.

Like the idea of a Facebook page.

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I think those are the people who want to go back to the Old Testament way of forcing women to marry their rapists.

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I think those are the people who want to go back to the Old Testament way of forcing women to marry their rapists.

I feel like this is where society is headed, sadly. However, if a man breaks into my home and attempts to sexually assault me, you bet I will be fighting tooth and nail to defend myself and my family. If it means I have to stomp on his nuts repeatedly until he becomes sterile, I WILL FUCKING DO IT with no apology. I can't believe women in 2012, are being punished for being raped, or sexually assaulted. This is beyond disgusting. :evil:

ETA:

Another sick example of our criminal justice system:

http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/201 ... -harasser/

They also told me that had I cursed him out I would have been seen as the aggressor. They arrested me for it, then let me go, but not without taking my pepper spray and my camcorder.

What I went through was pure horror and I didn’t deserve it. How dare a perp – who has prob gone to prison (I noticed he had prison tattoos) – have more rights over someone like myself simply because I was merely defending myself. The problem here is not me, but our society.

No man or woman has the right to strike at someone simply because that person refuses to bend to their advances. Most importantly, that person shouldn’t have power to punish someone who was merely defending herself against a vicious assault on her personhood.

Now I have to face the city attorney simply because I refused a man’s advances. Where did our system go wrong? I need legal counsel, information on places that deal specifically with ending street harassment and codifying it into law.

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What the hell is happening in the USA for these attitudes to thrive? It boggles my mind, really it does.

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Guest Anonymous

You know what? I really don't give a damn what happens to the bastard that raped "Faith". Furthermore, I don't give a damn whether or not anybody likes or hates my post above. And, I certainly don't give a damn if what I just said above is stereotyping, hypocritical, or derogatory. Now, does anybody want to take on the genital mutilation mentioned in somewhere in this thread? Yeah, I won't be holding my breath waiting for that.

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Genie, there is a huge difference between someone saying she would defend herself, even by stamping on her rapists nuts, AT THE TIME OF THE RAPE and stating that someone should be sodomised by a 'bubba' whilst in prison.

What you did was state racial, cultural and sexual stereotypes. Not cool.

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That school needs to be the subject of a big, expensive, newsworthy class-action lawsuit. "Faith" is most likely the last in a long line of victims treated this way over the years. Wait until more come forward. Compensatory and punitive damages, as well as bad publicity and hundreds of thousands in legal fees will get the school to clean house.

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Guest Anonymous

A woman was raped and humiliated in more ways than one, so I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF BUBBA SHOVES A BROOMSTICK UP THE LITTLE BASTARD's ASS. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT STEREOTYPES I STATED. It's so comforting, I mean disgusting to know that rapists now have a soft spot in somebody's heart.

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A woman was raped and humiliated in more ways than one, so I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF BUBBA SHOVES A BROOMSTICK UP THE LITTLE BASTARD's ASS. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT STEREOTYPES I STATED. It's so comforting, I mean disgusting to know that rapists now have a soft spot in somebody's heart.

It's so comforting, I mean disgusting, to know that there are people who believe rape should be part of a prison sentence.

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You know what? I really don't give a damn what happens to the bastard that raped "Faith". Furthermore, I don't give a damn whether or not anybody likes or hates my post above. And, I certainly don't give a damn if what I just said above is stereotyping, hypocritical, or derogatory. Now, does anybody want to take on the genital mutilation mentioned in somewhere in this thread? Yeah, I won't be holding my breath waiting for that.

Genie, this is yet another case of you, a person who claims to be a follower of Christ, advocating for really, really unChristian things. There was a point in my life that I would have agreed with you, but I have come to realize that advocating brutality and torture puts me down at the level of the guy who raped Faith. Some things are never right, rape is one of those things, not even when it is done to a person I find despicable. I think he should be put in jail for a long time, made to work hard with no tv or gym for the rest of his life, but raped, no. Advocating rape is never right. Unless you are saying that rape isn't always a bad thing.

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Geniebelle, I'm going to try to explain this to you. As long as rape is seen as an appropriate way to punish someone you think is a bad person, women are going to get raped too. As long as sex and violence are mixed up in people's minds, so that forced sex can be used to show that you're angry and you dominate, women are going to get raped. So, by saying that a rapist deserves to be raped, you're just adding to the problem, not solving it. When people stop forcing sex on other people to show them who's boss, we'll all be a lot safer. You're not helping.

I have a really big problem with people who come along after a rape has happened, and talk big about what they would do to the rapist. Most of the time, these people are men, but sometimes, like now, they're women. Speaking as someone who has been raped, I did not want other people who did nothing to protect me at the time to jump in and decide what should be done with my rapist. That may make them feel good and powerful, but it does nothing for me. I would have been horrified and disgusted if people had hunted down my rapist and lynched him, beaten him, or raped him---in my name. That would feel like being violated all over again, because THAT WAS NOT MY CHOICE. Do you get it? Can you possibly see that you are violating rape victims all over again by perpetrating rape in their name?

I can't speak for all, of course, but I think what most rape survivors want most is to know that it won't happen again and that they have the support of those around them. They also would like to know that the rapist will be dealt with appropriately--that he will be named and appropriately restrained or penalized to stop him from doing it again. I know for myself that while I might fantasize gory revenge, that is not something I would ever want to do in reality, because then I would have to remember that always and I don't want to have any more unwanted memories.

Sadly, people who talk big about hurting rapists very often don't do anything in real life to stop rape. They still promote rape culture, victim-blaming, and letting assault perpetrators off the hook in real life. Blowing off steam and patting themselves on the back takes the place of real action.

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A woman was raped and humiliated in more ways than one, so I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF BUBBA SHOVES A BROOMSTICK UP THE LITTLE BASTARD's ASS. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT STEREOTYPES I STATED. It's so comforting, I mean disgusting to know that rapists now have a soft spot in somebody's heart.

You know Genie, I was probably one of the few people here who was still prepared to give you a chance. I felt that you were partially misunderstood and also a product of your part of society. I felt that you were guilty of benign racism and sexism and not out and out racism (in that you didn't understand how your views could be racist or sexist and out and out racism and sexism was an anathema to you).

I've changed my mind. Quite frankly you can fuck off and crawl back under that rock you came out from. I'm done with you.

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It isn't having a soft spot for rapist to state that rape is always wrong. And that rape shouldn't be used to punish people.

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