ATI stuff and bad photos of myself

[formergothardite]

Thanks for sharing, formergothardite. Of the kids in your family and the other families you knew, what percentage would you say escaped vs. stayed in the lifestyle?

None of my family members are even slightly fundie anymore, not even my parents. They go to church occasionally, but that is about it.

Two of the people I got to know in ATI are still in the lifestyle. One of them being the leader of my team who gave me such low score. :lol:

[Deleted06]

Did everyone have their own rooms or were there huge dorm type rooms, sort of like what the J-girls sleep in? Did they send out a list of things you needed to bring with you? If they did, do you still have it? Was there a daily schedule they stuck to? Was the food any good?

[formergothardite]

It took place in a former hotel, so everyone stayed in hotel rooms. I had a smaller room, so it was just me and another person but other perople had three to a room. They did send out a list, but I don't have it anymore. I do have the daily schedule, I'll try and scan that tomorrow. The food was not great and we had to fast on Sundays.

[Visionoyahweh]

I think if you told them something like that, you spend the rest of the time doing a Wisdom Search or whatever they called it. You would miss the only outside time and have to spend it indoors handwriting spiritual insights and if you didn't write it neatly enough, you had to do it all over again.

That's terrible. I'd be telling them that I was an adult making my own decisions, as I walked out the door.

I'd like to know about the food as well. Was it typical cult fare - bland, low energy food, and less than three meals a day?

[synchroswimr]

Thank you for sharing this and for answering questions!

[margiebargie]

The score sheet is interesting. How weird that they would grade someone on "joyfulness".** How would one go about improving one's "joyfulness" score? Perma-grin might inadvertantly boost your perceived "simple-mindedness", thereby causing your "wisdom" score to suffer. And laughing and joking too much could ding your "meekness" quotient.

Thanks for this. I'm glad you're free. I hope there wasn't too much damage done.

**Actually, it's weird to be graded on any of this stuff. Talk about oppressive. Gawd, if my "joyfulness" was graded I'd get a zero. I'm not a bit self-pitying either. I'm just not a giddy, smiley type and do not suffer fools gladly.

[formergothardite]

That's terrible. I'd be telling them that I was an adult making my own decisions, as I walked out the door.

I'd like to know about the food as well. Was it typical cult fare - bland, low energy food, and less than three meals a day?

It was usually cereal for breakfast (and for some reason I remember it being served with rice milk not regular milk) orange slices, sometimes muffins.

I don't really remember lunch or dinner. I think it was mostly chicken and salad type meals. No junk food at all and no food allowed in your room. Sunday was spent fasting. According to my mom all my letters home were about what sorts of food I was going to eat when I got home. I remember on Sundays all I could think about was food.

One person did "escape" at EXCEL. Her parents had shipped her there because of a guy, but he met her there and she snuck out and ran off with him. They had the program pretty locked down after that. Staff were always near the door and you almost always had to be with another person. I don't know what they would have done if one of the over 18 people would have just flat out stated that they were going to leave. I honestly think they would have tried to restrain them.

[Visionoyahweh]

I don't really remember lunch or dinner. I think it was mostly chicken and salad type meals. No junk food at all and no food allowed in your room. Sunday was spent fasting. According to my mom all my letters home were about what sorts of food I was going to eat when I got home. I remember on Sundays all I could think about was food.

I thought so. It's a typical break-your-will cult tactic.

I am happy that at least one girl hooked up and escaped. I'd be thrilled if there were lesbian orgies after light outs and the minders were asleep.

[sissyintexas]

I'm from Dallas and that hotel is in one of the most dangerous parts of town!

[formergothardite]

What is the name of the park next to it? Do you know? It had old houses and stuff in it. There was a shop and a restaurant that we were supposed to get to eat at during the last days, but they didn't give us time. I always wanted to go back and eat there.

There was a waffle cone factory next to it when I was there. There is nothing worse than craving junk food all while smelling waffle cones baking.

[sissyintexas]

Fair Park is nearby. It's a historical landmark and has beautiful Art Deco buildings. There are museums, restaurants there.

There is also Old City Park downtown. But you were much closer to Fair Park.

This zip code was actually found to be the 12th most dangerous area in the US! http://www.dailyfinance.com/photos/most ... /#photo-15

[kb2]

Fair Park is nearby. It's a historical landmark and has beautiful Art Deco buildings. There are museums, restaurants there.

There is also Old City Park downtown. But you were much closer to Fair Park.

This zip code was actually found to be the 12th most dangerous area in the US! http://www.dailyfinance.com/photos/most ... /#photo-15

I wonder if the building was really cheap to use, so Gothard could get the most money out of attendance fees.

ETA: thanks, formergothardite, for the info!

[helloemi]

Thank you for sharing. The tapestry vest is forgivable, it reminded me of owning this in the mid-90's. http://www.etsy.com/listing/85934652/ca ... hing-large

[kaetrin]

What is the name of the park next to it? Do you know? It had old houses and stuff in it. There was a shop and a restaurant that we were supposed to get to eat at during the last days, but they didn't give us time. I always wanted to go back and eat there.

There was a waffle cone factory next to it when I was there. There is nothing worse than craving junk food all while smelling waffle cones baking.

Didn't they make waffle cones on Sundays, too? That was the worst, because you were so hungry and didn't have any work to keep your mind off it. Just Bible reading. I was on staff there later and it wasn't so bad; staff could fix themselves meals on Sundays if they wanted to.

Also, did you go to the historical park to walk for exercise? We weren't allowed to run because it was unladylike or something, but some girls just tried to speed walk as fast as possible. Around and around...

The dangerous area was another excuse to keep people inside, I suppose. Two months and never going anywhere but the park. Ugh.

I'm amazed you still have all that stuff; mine disappeared ages ago. I think I got bad marks on joyfulness, too. :-)

[NurseNell]

Thank you for sharing. The tapestry vest is forgivable, it reminded me of owning this in the mid-90's. http://www.etsy.com/listing/85934652/ca ... hing-large

You too!! That pattern was very popular.

[formergothardite]

I don't remember if they made them on Sunday, they probably did. It was just two months of craving food in my mind. LOL

It was Old City Park that we went to. And yes, it was round and round and round with no running lest you cause yourself to not be able to have babies.

And this all took place in the mid-90's so vest were in style, but I hated the tapestry one.

[kaetrin]

I don't remember the food very well, per se, because I had gluten/egg/dairy intolerance so I got "special" meals. All I remember is the time I got plain cooked millet and broccoli for 5 out of 6 meals straight. No idea what was going on but I just ate it and joked about it with my friends. I probably thought it was too hard for them to accommodate me so I should just be grateful. It can't have been THAT hard, though.

I was such a compliant type that I tried really hard to do well at the program and I thought I liked it. But in retrospect, that is the exact time that I started having uncontrollable coughing/hyperventilation spells which I didn't find out until years later were panic attacks. Guess my psyche didn't like it as much as I thought.

[sissyintexas]

Found this on a website about the Ambassador which had been in decline since its heyday..

"From 1983 to 1993 it was returned to a luxury hotel when it was purchased again by the Basic Life Principles. Today the building supplies meeting rooms, offices and living space for staff and conference attendees."

[Shana]

First off, thank you so much for sharing! Then...

I only had one Wisdom Search (I think that is what they called it, I could be wrong) it was for something stupid like walking to fast in the hall. But they would give you large Bible passages along with questions and you had to use the verses to answer these questions.

You got in trouble for walking too fast in a hallway?! Crazy talk! Not even doing the ungodly activity of running, and you're punished.

And a question... No long, flowing home-permed locks? Did your haircut demonstrate your submission to your headship?

[Justme]

Thanks for sharing. This gives me chills. I wonder if these are similar to those Journey things the Dugger girls attend.

[FlorenceHamilton]

Very interesting. Thank you for sharing. When I first developed my fundie obssession, I was able to find a vocabulary list from Gothard online. I do not remember the link. Just lke your weekly assessment list, I was struck by the way Gothard gave very narrow meanings to words. He also gave the antonyms to each word. It is intersting how his teachings narrow a person's vocabulary to the point where nuanced communication becomes nearly impossible. The coices for vocabulary words were also a bit skewed as well. The choices were most often the sorts of words that can be used in an emotion charged/moralistic way.

I was struck then and I am struck now with these shares, with the way words are used to control your thoughts. Chidlren raised n Gothardism are not given the tools to express themselves with the general public. It is sort of a fail safe so that even if a child is exposed to wordly people and ideas, they have have an inadequate fund of language and a poorly/undeveloped ability to understand nuance. It parially explains why these young people appear to be so mindless as adults.

[formergothardite]

First off, thank you so much for sharing! Then...

You got in trouble for walking too fast in a hallway?! Crazy talk! Not even doing the ungodly activity of running, and you're punished.

And a question... No long, flowing home-permed locks? Did your haircut demonstrate your submission to your headship?

My dad didn't care what we did with our hair and I had gotten it cut short and in layers. It ended up frizzing out everywhere and looked horrible so I had to flat iron my hair everyday to make it look like there wasn't some sort of dead animal on my head.

And we were supposed to walk in a lady like fashion, not rush around. But they gave you such little time to do stuff and on the day to wash clothes I would have try and make it up three flights of stairs, work on laundry during my allotted time and get back down in like 10 minutes and that included trying to get a bathroom break, so yeah, I walked a little too fast most of the time.

[2xx1xy1JD]

A full fast every WEEK? Why? Did they allow any liquids? Why on Sundays? If they observe Sunday as the Sabbath, shouldn't it be a joyous day with LOTS of food?

[formergothardite]

Didn't they make waffle cones on Sundays, too? That was the worst, because you were so hungry and didn't have any work to keep your mind off it. Just Bible reading. I was on staff there later and it wasn't so bad; staff could fix themselves meals on Sundays if they wanted to.

Also, did you go to the historical park to walk for exercise? We weren't allowed to run because it was unladylike or something, but some girls just tried to speed walk as fast as possible. Around and around...

The dangerous area was another excuse to keep people inside, I suppose. Two months and never going anywhere but the park. Ugh.

I'm amazed you still have all that stuff; mine disappeared ages ago. I think I got bad marks on joyfulness, too. :-)

I'm jealous the staff got to eat on Sundays! What was it like being on staff? Were the Bells nice? They kind of ignored me the whole time. I don't know if it was my lack of shining eyes or long flowing hair, but I don't think they ever spoke to me. I kind of felt sorry for Lauren because she was older and still stuck there teaching EXCEL girls how to sing. Do you know if she ever got married or at least left?

[formergothardite]

I don't remember the food very well, per se, because I had gluten/egg/dairy intolerance so I got "special" meals. All I remember is the time I got plain cooked millet and broccoli for 5 out of 6 meals straight. No idea what was going on but I just ate it and joked about it with my friends. I probably thought it was too hard for them to accommodate me so I should just be grateful. It can't have been THAT hard, though.

I was such a compliant type that I tried really hard to do well at the program and I thought I liked it. But in retrospect, that is the exact time that I started having uncontrollable coughing/hyperventilation spells which I didn't find out until years later were panic attacks. Guess my psyche didn't like it as much as I thought.

I'm so sorry. I think an EXCEL experience really depended on what group of people you were stuck with and who your team leader was. I've heard other people talk about how much they loved the program and how much fun they had. My team leader was not nice. I learned some of the daily verses from the NKJV and she would fuss at me if I ever slipped up and didn't recite the KJV version. She would always say, "Well, I'm a prophet!" Even back then I thought saying that your spiritual gift was prophecy was just an excuse to be a bitch.

About the "special" meals, when I first arrived they had a issue with those meals getting taken by people who didn't need them and the people who did need them wouldn't have anything to eat. Apparently the special foods were better than what we were served. :lol: They fixed that by letting everyone with a special diet go first .