ATI stuff and bad photos of myself

[formergothardite]

 

I don't think some of those verses relate to the attitudes at all. It was like he just threw in some randomn verses.

 

 

These were mailed home to the parents (even on the adults women who were attending EXCEL). I didn't improve a great deal. I don't think I ever got a five on anything.

 

 

Can't really rember, but I am pretty sure this involved vowing to never date and to give our father our heart.

 

Pictures coming next post.

[Rosa]

WHOA, thank you for sharing that.

I can't believe the poles on comportment are deference vs. rudeness. No room for assertiveness at all.

You're 100% right about the randomness of the verses, too.

[formergothardite]

Don't you love the baggy clothes? I am pretty sure no men were defrauded by this outfit.

The wonderful tapestry vest that I did a really bad job in making. I had to get help and barely got it done in time to wear. I am holding the "diploma".

I have to go take care of my daughter, but I will try and post some more pictures later.

[fluttershies]

Thanks for sharing. Giving one's heart to your father seems very idolatrous for a 'Christian' thing.

[contrary]

In the Bi-weekly Assessment, the anti-virtues include "natural inclinations"? yikes.

[alysee]

LOL thanks for sharing formergothardite! I needed a good laugh...sorry it had to be at your expense. I am happy you escaped!

[Visionoyahweh]

Thanks so much for posting these. That bi-weekly assessment reminds me of the 'personality tests' scientologists want you to take. There's absolutely no way for you to reach perfection on any one measure without the cult's help. God forbid you get the highest marks on love and patience, but be slightly disorganized. That'll send you straight to hell! :roll: What would happen if you told them it doesn't matter how they rate you, since God is your only judge?

I actually kind of like the vest! :P Were you wearing another layer of clothes underneath what we see, to prevent defrauding?

[MamaJunebug]

Sent. To. Parents...of ADULT Women?

Nightmarish. Thanks for posting. If ever I began to think, "Oh, ATI is not such a bad thing" -- well, after this, I will *never* think that!!!!

[SayNoToMullets]

Hypocrisy as an anti-virtue? Could have fooled me.

[nokidsmom]

Thanks also for sharing these. Interesting to see the attitudes and Excel assessment. Wow.

Incidentally, your tapestry vest looks very similar to a vest I made and still have in my closet. Mine's not tapestry material but printed cordoroy that had a tapestry "look". Front only was the cordoroy and back was simply black silk-like polyester (like a guy's vest). Just curious if yours was similiar or was it all the printed fabric? Being an avid sewer, I can't help but ask!

[kittypie]

It is exactly those types of charts and lists that served to trigger my first panic attack at a Bill Gothard seminar when I was 17. (It was for teens and was called "Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts" or something like that.) So oppressive. Even looking at it now makes my heart beat too fast.

ETA: FG: They musta have got you but GOOD. Your face is white as a ghost!

[freejoytoo]

Thanks so much for the pics. I'm creeped out that obedience is on the list.

[clibbyjo]

I love you only got a 2 in joyfulness. :clap: That should have told you then you were on your way out of that hell and into living!

That tapestry vest is pretty bad. It was a good laugh though. :dance:

[deelaem]

I noticed you got a 2 in joyfulness vs. self-pity. What, you weren't joyful about your extreme oppression?

[Guest Anonymous]

Thanks for posting - that's fascinating. :)

Who scored the list - was it you or someone else? How old were you? Did your parents send you or did you ask to go? Did you have to become super-fake joyful to overcome that 2?

[formergothardite]

We were divided into teams and the list was scored by the team leader who was younger than some of the women she was scoring. I think one of the people on my team was 24 or 25. I was getting ready to turn 18. My parents sent me, I had to quit my job to go. It was during one of the periods when they were really, really into ATI. By the time I got back they were already falling off the ATI wagon and back to being as normal as you can when you have joined a cult.

I never did improve on my joyful attitude. The thing was it wasn't really about being joyful, it was that I don't have this super out-going personality and I didn't get up and give testimony to how ATI had changed my life. I blacked out the personal notes, but in all of them the leader complained that I didn't talk enough to people, that I didn't send cards and notes to other people at EXCEL to encourage them and that I wasn't showing a broken spirit. The team leader would literally sit with me trying to get me to reveal a "hidden sin" and by the end of two months I just made up one and managed to fake cry. I still got a low score.

[formergothardite]

Thanks also for sharing these. Interesting to see the attitudes and Excel assessment. Wow.

Incidentally, your tapestry vest looks very similar to a vest I made and still have in my closet. Mine's not tapestry material but printed cordoroy that had a tapestry "look". Front only was the cordoroy and back was simply black silk-like polyester (like a guy's vest). Just curious if yours was similiar or was it all the printed fabric? Being an avid sewer, I can't help but ask!

It was an actual thick tapestry material and it was on the front and back of the vest. It was based on some verse where a virtuous woman clothes herself in tapestry or something like that. We had to sit through a long lecture on making sure we didn't position the flowers so they brought attention to our boobs. Having never really sewn, it was a hard project for me. I wish I had a picture of the quilt we also had to make. Mine never got finished and all my squares were crooked.

[formergothardite]

Thanks so much for posting these. That bi-weekly assessment reminds me of the 'personality tests' scientologists want you to take. There's absolutely no way for you to reach perfection on any one measure without the cult's help. God forbid you get the highest marks on love and patience, but be slightly disorganized. That'll send you straight to hell! :roll: What would happen if you told them it doesn't matter how they rate you, since God is your only judge?

I actually kind of like the vest! :P Were you wearing another layer of clothes underneath what we see, to prevent defrauding?

I think if you told them something like that, you spend the rest of the time doing a Wisdom Search or whatever they called it. You would miss the only outside time and have to spend it indoors handwriting spiritual insights and if you didn't write it neatly enough, you had to do it all over again.

The organization one was a joke because you would get marked down if the corners of your sheets weren't pulled down tight enough.

I had on a white undershirt under the blouse to keep my bra from showing. I usually wore a vest on top of all that too. I only weighed a little over 100 lbs but the "modest" clothes made me look bigger. And did I mention that I wore all that, plus hose with white socks over them, and tennis shoes all while walking for an hour outside in Dallas TX everyday. I was hot, but not in the attract guys kind of way. :lol:

[Witsec7]

Thanks for posting this FG, it was enlightening. How long did this brainwashing course take? Was it residential?

[lilwriter85]

Thank you formergothardite for sharing the pics and the scans. It gives us more insight into ATI.

[anniebgood]

Thanks for posting this.

I wonder what score the Duggar kids got on Line 2, Punctuality v Tardiness? :lol:

[formergothardite]

It was a two month program and I think you were allowed to call home once a week or maybe it was twice. It took place here:

http://dallas.iblp.org/

Here is the page about EXCEL, but from what I understand, they have cancelled it since there were so few people signing up. When I went I think there were probable 80-90 people who attended not counting the leaders and people who assisted the leaders.

ETA: If I was ever in Dallas again, I would love to stop by and see if they would let me look around. There was a family that lived there and ran the whole place. I wonder if they still do. I can't imagine living in this huge hotel now that there is hardly anything going on there.

[holierthanyou]

Thank you SO much for sharing these! They are truly amazing. One question- what did a "wisdom search" entail??

I think if you told them something like that, you spend the rest of the time doing a Wisdom Search or whatever they called it. You would miss the only outside time and have to spend it indoors handwriting spiritual insights and if you didn't write it neatly enough, you had to do it all over again.

[snickerz]

Thanks for sharing, formergothardite. Of the kids in your family and the other families you knew, what percentage would you say escaped vs. stayed in the lifestyle?

[formergothardite]

I only had one Wisdom Search (I think that is what they called it, I could be wrong) it was for something stupid like walking to fast in the hall. But they would give you large Bible passages along with questions and you had to use the verses to answer these questions.