23 year olds cannot be in the same car with the opposite sex

[SpeakNow]

To make a little extra money, I do extra work for films. (You may have seen my face in the crowds of random music videos). Anyway, one of my friends, who is fundie-lite also does extra work. Yesterday, she asked if I could drive her to the set since her brother needed to use the family car. I told her that I would, and then I asked her if she thought I should ask our friend (who is a male) to car pool. Here is how the texting conversation went:

Me: Since I'm driving you, do you want to see if Michael wants to join us? We could all car pool. I lost his number though.

Beth: I think he's probably going to the set by himself. Plus, I don't think it's really proper for two girls and a guy to be in a car. Hahaha! He's not that type of guy, but my parents probably wouldn't allow it.

What the heck was with the random hahaha? Does she really think our friend who we've known over 2 years is suddenly going to rape her as we drive down I65?

edited for riffle

[Anise]

Cars are where the magic happens?

[lexiloumarie]

Maybe she only read the title of "Riding in Cars with Boys" and didn't understand what you had to do in the car to get pregnant? :lol: :whistle: :wink:

[Esther]

It's especially funny because it's TWO girls and a guy. I mean, even the Duggars would presumably be OK with this if there was a chaperone. Well, okay, maybe not the Duggars. But you know what I mean. Both women are basically chaperoned.

Not that it's not ridiculous either way, but still.

[flojo]

The impression I get is that the 'hahaha' is to try and normalize a situation she knows isn't normal - like, it's not actually her choice (in her mind), she knows it seems ridiculous, but is trying to not be seen as a freak... I kinda feel sorry for her.

[Daenerys]

It's especially funny because it's TWO girls and a guy. I mean, even the Duggars would presumably be OK with this if there was a chaperone. Well, okay, maybe not the Duggars. But you know what I mean. Both women are basically chaperoned.

Not that it's not ridiculous either way, but still.

We saw plenty of scenes of Smuggar, Anna and one J'Slave in a car to prevent sexytime, so actually even the Duggars would be ok with that!

[keeperrox]

We saw plenty of scenes of Smuggar, Anna and one J'Slave in a car to prevent sexytime, so actually even the Duggars would be ok with that!

Yes, but wasn't that after they were officially courting? I doubt they would let their other kids do it.

[AudreyE]

So, basically, her parents think she's one golden opportunity away from a threesome.

[LucySnowe]

Years ago I remember reading some fundie thing about how married women shouldn't be friends with men, and one of the things was not being alone with a man or it might look bad. Obsession with sex much?

[Effie]

I kinda feel sorry for her.

Mm me too.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

The part that got me is "my parents probably wouldn't allow it"........ you didn't specify how old you guys are, but my parents haven't 'allowed' me to do anything since I was 18 or 19!

[latraviata]

To make a little extra money, I do extra work for films. (You may have seen my face in the crowds of random music videos). Anyway, one of my friends, who is fundie-lite also does extra work. Yesterday, she asked if I could drive her to the set since her brother needed to use the family car. I told her that I would, and then I asked her if she thought I should ask our friend (who is a male) to car pool. Here is how the texting conversation went:

Me: Since I'm driving you, do you want to see if Michael wants to join us? We could all car pool. I lost his number though.

Beth: I think he's probably going to the set by himself. Plus, I don't think it's really proper for two girls and a guy to be in a car. Hahaha! He's not that type of guy, but my parents probably wouldn't allow it.

What the heck was with the random hahaha? Does she really think our friend who we've known over 2 years is suddenly going to rape her as we drive down I65?

edited for riffle

Is it ok when I (63 riffles old woman) join you girls as a chapperone??

[Third]

What makes me sad is the lack of trust. Like her parents cannot trust her to ride in a car with another woman and a man without thinking she will be overcome with lust. Seriously.

[Effie]

The part that got me is "my parents probably wouldn't allow it"........ at 23, my parents weren't "allowing" me to do anything, I was out of the house, in college, and had a 1 year old.

I'm 23 and back in my parent's home after 3,5 years living by myself. My parents still insist on treating me like a child. I do not allow them though. It's important to know your boundaries. NO ONE has any business deciding over a grown-up. It's offensive and insulting towards your intellect.

[nolongerIFBx]

To make a little extra money, I do extra work for films. (You may have seen my face in the crowds of random music videos). Anyway, one of my friends, who is fundie-lite also does extra work. Yesterday, she asked if I could drive her to the set since her brother needed to use the family car. I told her that I would, and then I asked her if she thought I should ask our friend (who is a male) to car pool. Here is how the texting conversation went:

Me: Since I'm driving you, do you want to see if Michael wants to join us? We could all car pool. I lost his number though.

Beth: I think he's probably going to the set by himself. Plus, I don't think it's really proper for two girls and a guy to be in a car. Hahaha! He's not that type of guy, but my parents probably wouldn't allow it.

What the heck was with the random hahaha? Does she really think our friend who we've known over 2 years is suddenly going to rape her as we drive down I65?

edited for riffle

I so remember those days. It had to do with "avoiding the appearance of evil". It's not that they think that their daughter will be overcome with passion but that someone could say that they saw her with a guy in a car and assume that she might be overcome with passion so the situation must be avoided. This is true even if it is raining cats and dogs and the girl must walk home in the rain. Never mind that she might get picked up by a perv or catch pneumonia, pat yourself on the back because you avoided the appearance of evil.

[Soldier of the One]

The sad/interesting/depressing part (take your pick) is that this is an actual Jewish-legal category adhered to in Jewish Orthodox communities. It's called 'yichud', being 'alone in an enclosed space with a member of the opposite sex' and there are all sorts of rules and how to's to it.

Most of it I completely disagree with but in certain professional and counselling settings, it might be wise to leave the office door open ajar when dealing with members of the opposite sex and emotionally charged issues. But this is more a concern of litigation.

But yeah. What the heck?

[lilwriter85]

Years ago I remember reading some fundie thing about how married women shouldn't be friends with men, and one of the things was not being alone with a man or it might look bad. Obsession with sex much?

There are some non-fundies who have the attitude that married women shouldn't be friends with men. My sister has friends who are married and their husbands don't like the idea of them being around non-relative men. My boyfriend is close friends with a woman he grew up with. When she got married 4 years ago, he was in her wedding party as a bridesman. Her in-laws hated that idea and they kept telling her that she had to end her friendship with my bf after she got married. The in-laws still don't like the idea of my bf being friends with their daughter-in-law. They have given him the dirty look at events we go to for our friend and her husband.

[FJismyheadship]

Three girls for one boy or two boys for one girl is how its done at Champion Baptist. Actually its the girls must always travel in groups of three unless they are going to work and guys must always be with one other. Its an accountability thing. Like someone above me said avoiding the appearance of evil. I had to walk two miles go over a hundred degree weather because this one guy that was out me college felt he needed to apply this to his life.

[nokidsmom]

I'm 23 and back in my parent's home after 3,5 years living by myself. My parents still insist on treating me like a child. I do not allow them though. It's important to know your boundaries. NO ONE has any business deciding over a grown-up. It's offensive and insulting towards your intellect.

Not to get off topic, but Effie and FIMF, I feel for you both. Been there. I all too well remember being 23, graduated college, had worked my way through it, had been an honor student, never in trouble, etc. and my parents STILL couldn't trust me. I had lived at home during college (home was near school) but after I graduated, I was making serious moves to get out. Curfew, rules because it was "their home" and the whole bit; stuff that I didn't have to deal with when I was 18!. I wouldn't allow it but it caused serious disruption until I left at 24. Love my folks, but they seriously offended me when they did this.

[ering]

Not to get off topic, but Effie and FIF, I feel for you both. Been there. I all too well remember being 23, graduated college, had worked my way through it, had been an honor student, never in trouble, etc. and my parents STILL couldn't trust me. I had lived at home during college (home was near school) but after I graduated, I was making serious moves to get out. Curfew, rules because it was "their home" and the whole bit; stuff that I didn't have to deal with I was 18!. I wouldn't allow it but it caused serious disruption until I left at 24. Love my folks, but they seriously offended me when they did this.

I lived at home when I went to college as well. The one rule my parents had was a 1 am "curfew" It wasn't so much as a "be home" curfew as it was to call them to let them know I was okay and not in a ditch. It didn't brother me so much because I was never much of a party person and I only stayed out late once or twice.

[O Latin]

Why doesn't she just, you know, not tell her parents? I'm 22, and if I wanted to do something that I knew my parents wouldn't really approve of (but wasn't illegal or anything), I would just not tell them about it. I'm all for young adults respecting and staying on good terms with parents who are supporting/housing them, but seriously, mom and dad don't need to know everything.

[holierthanyou]

Three girls for one boy or two boys for one girl is how its done at Champion Baptist. Actually its the girls must always travel in groups of three unless they are going to work and guys must always be with one other. Its an accountability thing. Like someone above me said avoiding the appearance of evil. I had to walk two miles go over a hundred degree weather because this one guy that was out me college felt he needed to apply this to his life.

The part about 3 girls for one boy (but only two boys for one girl) is kind of hilarious. Like if a boy was left alone with merely two girls, then obviously it's going to end in a threesome.... ?!?

[ering]

Why doesn't she just, you know, not tell her parents? I'm 22, and if I wanted to do something that I knew my parents wouldn't really approve of (but wasn't illegal or anything), I would just not tell them about it. I'm all for young adults respecting and staying on good terms with parents who are supporting/housing them, but seriously, mom and dad don't need to know everything.

There's this as well. Or maybe she would be afraid that a family friend would see her and tell her parents?

Why do some fundies think if people of the opposite sex are alone they'll have sex? You can be alone with someone and not have sex with them. Its pretty easy.

[Minerva]

Three girls for one boy or two boys for one girl is how its done at Champion Baptist. Actually its the girls must always travel in groups of three unless they are going to work and guys must always be with one other. Its an accountability thing. Like someone above me said avoiding the appearance of evil. I had to walk two miles go over a hundred degree weather because this one guy that was out me college felt he needed to apply this to his life.

So they need 3 girls to be accountable but only 2 boys? I'm confused, don't fundies consider women to be better "guards of morality" or whatever than men? Or are they just really worried about threesomes?

[fakepigtails73]

The impression I get is that the 'hahaha' is to try and normalize a situation she knows isn't normal - like, it's not actually her choice (in her mind), she knows it seems ridiculous, but is trying to not be seen as a freak... I kinda feel sorry for her.

QFT.

It's not like this guy is a hitchhiker you picked up on the road, it's someone you both know!

Beyond bizarre.