Lovelie's adoption is final!

[Guest Anonymous]

Nice to hear they're still in touch. Of course I'd love to hear more about how he's doing in his new family - remember the nasty, backhanded things Emma had to say about them? - but a thing I like about Lovelie's family is how they seem to respect the children's interests and privacy rather than sharing every sordid detail on their public blog.

Yeah, I agree. I'd love to know more, but am happier that the families are just getting on with family life quietly and sharing the happy moments rather than every last detail.

Emma was seething with passive-aggressive resentment about how the other mother was managing with Justus so well, which sounds like a promising indication that he too has found some happiness in his new home..

[oscar]

Yeah, I agree. I'd love to know more, but am happier that the families are just getting on with family life quietly and sharing the happy moments rather than every last detail.

Emma was seething with passive-aggressive resentment about how the other mother was managing with Justus so well, which sounds like a promising indication that he too has found some happiness in his new home..

She was all like, they have no rules and her kids are filthy brats, so of course he fits right in!

Here's some garbage from Emma's defunct blog radchallenge.blogspot.com, just so I'm not furious by myself. You know that evil bitch is to this day congratulating herself on the merciful and godly role she played in bringing these kids to the families they have now, even though it is clear to the entire world that she did nothing but abuse and traumatize them.

Boundaries are a BAD word!

by SQ

Jul 29, 2010 11:39 PM

From a fellow blogger: Add to the mix the dreaded "b" word: boundaries. Take a child who has lived on the streets or in an orphanage with no boundaries, no rules, no authority figures. Put them into a family where someone is telling them what to do, what to eat, what to wear, when to sleep, how to act, etc. and you can see how a child could prefer autonomy!

Oh yes, let me count the ways! Children with RAD have no trust, they must be in control always! When my kids were in the village there were few boundaries. Most of the time the kids just roamed around as they pleased and didn't really take direction. Well if they did they chose not to listen most of the time as I witnessed while I was there visiting. Even when I visited the second time I might as well have been mute because they weren't listening to a thing I had to say!

Surprise! their new home(my home) is like very few homes I know. I will admit that I probably have more house rules than you have time to read right now. Is it a control thing? You might argue yes. I don't have the time or the energy to argue with someone looking to judge me. All I know is that before my kids got here my family life was near heaven on earth and on the days it wasn't, it was normally due to outside factors that contributed to in house stress. Now I'm not saying that anyone of us is perfect or does not have character flaws because we all have room for growth, but what I am saying is that we all know the rules and for the most part we all obey them which leads to a very ordered day with a lot of predictability for the most part. I like my house clean and we have general sayings that everyone can quote at the drop of a hat....

If you don't work, You Don't eat! (2 Thes. 3:10)

Leave it BETTER than you found it!

A man's works is a portrait of himself.

If you are faithful in little, you will be faithful in much.

Those are some basic principles that are ingrained in each of us. We have a very ordered day. The kids eat the same rotation of food for breakfast and lunch every week almost without fail. We don't have snacks before lunch and they get one in-between lunch and dinner. Don't ask for snacks when it's not snack time save your appetite for the real meal (if I know they are going through a growth spurt I make sure to give them extra calories). Sugar is almost a bad word in our home and is very limited. Instead we have a ton of fresh fruit, agave nectar for syrup and xylitol as a natural sweetener in baked goods. My kids asked to be excused from the table. Being grateful is not an option so I start training them really young that life is not fair. If you try and get the biggest piece, you end up with the smallest piece. If you try to be first in line you will be moved to the last (Mathew 20:16). When we ask a child a question we expect to be answered the first time loud and clear. If they aren't strong enough to give a respectable answer we encourage physical fitness with a set of push-ups or jumping jacks to get the air flowing and the blood pumping for a nice strong answer. My husband and I are used to our children being very aware of their tone of voice for the most part and we have trained them to use their tones appropriately to be considerate of others. We have inside voices and outside voices. We expect our children to respect the fact that daddy has worked hard for every piece of furnishing in our home and we don't jump, roll or hang on them. We use mats on the table not to damage it. We don't hit the table when we push in the chairs because it will damage both. I could go on and on.... Now enter Mr. J and Miss L AKA Mr. Defiance and Miss Manipulation with a capital M and let's just say this is all a recipe for DISASTER! Remember they have such a need for control and then they enter a home that has clear boundaries with their new parents as absolute authority in the home just under God to them. I realize how much tension this brings to them. They each know all the rules and Miss L will systematically break every rule on any given day from the very smallest one just to try and get a rise out of me. However, since I've been using some tools found from a youtuber, she has slowed down because I have become to annoying to her in my responses and it's not fun if she can't actually get me mad! ha..ha.. Anyway, strong sitting is one the exercises we have them do as being shown in the picture here. This is a great exercise to teach kids to focus, breathe and hopefully meditate on the Lord. It's not a punishment but a focusing exercise. Back to Boundaries. We have lots of them so basically the kids have 101 million ways to try and chap our hide is what it comes down to.

You can say oh just lighten up!

But my response is hey the rules were all working to bring harmony to our home and beautiful order. Mr. J and Miss L are the only ones who have made the rules a chore to keep.

Anyhow, Mr. J is going to be so happy in his new home because his new momma admits to having few rules, but she does give the kids a lot of responsibility as she has tons and tons of animals for sale which are part of the families business. So he will be happy there and I'm happy for him. He will leave with so much learned from us about order and responsibility.

Dealing with attachment issues is difficult for me and my hubby because it's not our calling to raise children with RAD, but praise God some folks are called and becasue of that their yolk is light, not without burden or pain, but none the less it is a delight for them and like a curse for me.

PRAISE God for the called!

We rescued our children both from abuse, from a nation that is just a shadow of itself whos people die on a moment by moment basis... We have been a stepping stone for them to fulfill their destiny's in this country with their called parents. It was a priviledge to be able to bring them here. I could sit and torture myself for not being able to take the facts of these children's lives like the woman has on the blog I listed here and use those facts to minister to these kids. The truth is that it was just not me my whole household has suffered with the kids being here and my husband stands hand in hand with me in saying we have not been called to raise them, but God is merciful and cares for us and them and has made a way for all three of families to flourish by trusting in Him.

If you interested in checking out what our home life was like PRE-adoption check out my other blog

STRONG QUIVER

Picture: happily doing chores... what a joy :) Last year

[brashchick]

OMG, I feel for her biological children. I'm not sure how much is mental illness, and how much is pure meaness. What a mess.

[Oddeverything]

Ugh, the music on the site! Clearly she has no idea the implications of playing "In the Ghetto" as the lead song on an auto-play loop and how it is side-eye worthy on an entry about adopting a black child from a developing country. I almost wish we would tell her to kill the auto-play entirely. I get that she's a relatively naive, Godly woman, but auto-play is a game killer. I X-ed out of that site and will likely never go back because I hate being surprised with music on a site, especially mawkish songs about poor children. The only way that could have been worse is if "The Greatest Love of All" burst out at me.

I am so glad Lovelie is settled into a happy family situation. She needs peace and love and endless opportunity after her time in hell in her first home in America. Thank god this story had a happy ending.

[Elle]

That little girl looks so happy that I can't help but smile really big.