Would you call these women Feminists?

[thoughtful]

[QAF_Rocks]

I live in a bland suburb and have never personally experienced rape or abuse, but I still think about it. Maybe some of us are more scared, true, due to personality differences or other factors. I don't think about it 100% of the time, but I certainly think about it when I travel alone and when I drive or walk at night or when I used to go out to bars with friends. I was taught to be mindful of those things in order to protect myself.

I live in the suburbs, too, so that's probably why I feel so safe. There's very little violent crime here. The chances of being attacked on the street or in my home are quite slim, so it's just not something I tend to think about. There are a few "bad neighborhoods" I wouldn't be comfortable in after dark, although I would be more worried about being robbed. I wouldn't walk alone in abandoned or industrial areas, but generally I do walk in residential neighborhoods at night without worrying about it. I don't go to bars or clubs, so that's not an issue for me.

[ladypuglover]

I live in a fundy suberb in a redneck/fundy town and I am always ON. Maybe because I was raped several different times in childhood but I can never turn my always being prepared off. I love talking long walks on our local nature trail but I either bring a solid walking stick or a heavey duty umbrella. The only times I have had to use my stick is when being out too late and coyotes wanted to see if pug meat was tasty. I always look at men/boys full in the face while on the trail and say a howdy do while giving them the half stink eye. At home doors and windows are locked even while everyone is home. If a dilivery or repair man needs to come to my house I have friends/husband/adult sons and my phone handy the entire time. I will never, ever be home alone with a strange man even if he is only working outside and never comes in. Never.

But I love men and don't know of a man in my life that would hurt me or any other person.

[crassy]

It still amazes me that people are ignorant of what feminism actually is. Misandry =! feminism.

[keeperrox]

I don't think men realize the extent to which women are scared of rape, the steps we take every single day to watch our back. They don't ever think about it because they go through life feeling relatively safe. I have watch what I drink, what I wear, what time I walk outside, where I go and whether I go alone, what I say and how I say it.

And at the end of the day it would probably still be "my fault."

I can't tell if this was said tounge-in-cheek or not, because really? Women don't get raped for what they wear, where they walk, if they're alone or not, nor for what they say. They get raped because their rapist has some pretty serious control and/or anger issues.

[super skeptic]

I can't tell if this was said tounge-in-cheek or not, because really? Women don't get raped for what they wear, where they walk, if they're alone or not, nor for what they say. They get raped because their rapist has some pretty serious control and/or anger issues.

Obviously, but the point is that girls are taught these things as a way to be cautious since the start. I don't know many women who don't take small, seemingly insignificant precautions that a lot of men don't think about (don't leave your drink alone, don't be out by yourself at night, or carry that umbrella, etc). How many guys do you know that carry pepper spray? In college a lot of girls did, just in case, but I didn't know of any guy who did.

I'm not saying I lock myself in my house all day long, just that most women do these little things and worry about danger more often than men do.

[SisiL78]

I grew up in a bland suburb in a safe upper middle class neighborhood. Yet, as a pre-teen there was a serial killer who murdered several prostitutes in that same safe neighborhood. He started his "career" by murdering two children.

And in the safe neighborhood I currently live in there were a few cases of a man (who was never caught) pulling up in broad daylight and attempting to pull Orthodox school girls in their long skirts into his car while they walked the few blocks between their school and their house.

Living in a safe neighborhood might just lull us all into a false sense of safety. The "safe" neighborhoods are less populated than more urban environments (thereby giving cover to the whack jobs that prey on women). And the more suburban a neighborhood the more anonymity there is with your neighbors, so no one will notice if things go awry.

And in the end, its not necessarily the serial killer or whack job that will victimize a woman but the d-bag you went out on a few dates will who feel entitled to sex because he bought you dinner and you disagree. And I bet that these fundie women are constantly being sexually victimized. I cannot imagine how easy it must be to abuse daughters and relatives when they have no access to the outside world and are raised to be terrified of that outside world. Who will they report the abuse to? Their mothers? The same mothers who submit to their husbands in every way? Or how about the women who get married to some guy they barely know and then are forced into their wifely duties whether they want to or not?

But, these anti-woman d-bags point out some unfortunate clip from the View which is already a stupid program and say that they don't have to care that women get abused because a few women giggled nervously about a castration case. Geez.

Okay, I'm going to stop ranting and go to bed!

[bubbabearzle]

Wow, there have been so many trolls lately that I am actually sick of nail polish discussions! I suggest more business cat memes for this thread, just to spice things up. Other cat pics are welcome too. But why did a whole bunch of them come out of the woodwork at around the same time?

[QAF_Rocks]

Living in a safe neighborhood might just lull us all into a false sense of safety. The "safe" neighborhoods are less populated than more urban environments (thereby giving cover to the whack jobs that prey on women). And the more suburban a neighborhood the more anonymity there is with your neighbors, so no one will notice if things go awry.

Possibly, but it's a lot like the stranger-danger panic of the 80s. My parents, like millions of others, were paranoid about letting us out of their sight for fear that we would be abducted. Yet, as you pointed out, the real danger comes from people you already know. Women and children both are more likely to be raped or abused by men they know and trust, rather than random strangers lurking in dark alleys.

[Lainey]

I think I love the kitten maneuver. ;)

I wish I wasn't afraid to walk in my neighbourhood at night, but I am. When I lived in a small community, I wasn't particularly afraid at night, but now I am because I'm always "on" because I live in the city. I don't like it. I know small towns aren't always safe, either, but in my experience, mine was pretty safe.

[Mama Mia]

I think men are just as on guard when out and about, just for different dangers. Young women to be more concerned about rape, young men are more concerned about fights/muggings/gang issues.

That's my experience at least.

Probably depends a great deal on where you live, your own experiences and what the known dangers in your area are. Personally, I would be more afraid walking in a quiet suburb at night than in a more urban area, the isolation would scare me.

[valsa]

Personally, I would be more afraid walking in a quiet suburb at night than in a more urban area, the isolation would scare me.

In 2007, a mother was gangraped at gun point by ten men, over three hours, then she and her 12 year old son (who they forced the mother to perform oral sex on) were beaten and tortured. This was done in her apartment and her neighbors listened to her scream for those three hours without calling the police. And it's not at all an isolated event. There have been several cases that made the news of witnesses seeing or hearing women being attacked and raped, and doing nothing about it. Having more people around doesn't guarantee you'll be safer.

[tankgirl]

Valsa, I have to say your post might be triggering to some. That is pretty horrific!

On your case though, there several studies about how groups of people, can sometimes make people less likely to help, not more likely. When they either see no one helping, the brain makes you question if something is actually wrong, or you get the case of assuming some one else has already called for help. It is hard sometimes to get people to make a move. It is amazing how many will not call the police because they figured some one else has and for some reason they don't want to bother. But the minute one person reacts, the whole situation changes, and people come to help as a group. Being around people is not always safer.

I agree what men and women think about when going out alone or even in their homes is so different and that is sad. I do walk at night in my new city, but I do try to keep aware of my enviroment. I can't say I have never had a plan "in case", I have held my keys in a way to poke an eye out if someone tried to grab me in dark parking lots. It is sad we have gotten to this point and is also a case of media scare, since as some one already said, often times it is someone you know, not a stranger that will try/will hurt you. My would be rapist was someone I knew.

[debrand]

Wow, there have been so many trolls lately that I am actually sick of nail polish discussions! I suggest more business cat memes for this thread, just to spice things up. Other cat pics are welcome too. But why did a whole bunch of them come out of the woodwork at around the same time?

Just last night I tried to get a photo of my cat. He was leaning back in the corner of our sofa, sitting up like a human. He had this 'what the hell are you looking at?' expression on his face. I couldn't figure out how the camera on my husband's phone worked.

[MonkeyMomma]

[debrand]

I hate jokes about cutting off men's penises, male on male rape or spousal abuse toward either gender. When my friends make those jokes, I make a point of telling them that they aren't funny. My friends have not always reacted well to my dislike of such humor. Guess what? My friends don't consider themselves feminists.

[Deleted03]

I live in a fundy suberb in a redneck/fundy town and I am always ON. Maybe because I was raped several different times in childhood but I can never turn my always being prepared off. I love talking long walks on our local nature trail but I either bring a solid walking stick or a heavey duty umbrella. The only times I have had to use my stick is when being out too late and coyotes wanted to see if pug meat was tasty. I always look at men/boys full in the face while on the trail and say a howdy do while giving them the half stink eye. At home doors and windows are locked even while everyone is home. If a dilivery or repair man needs to come to my house I have friends/husband/adult sons and my phone handy the entire time. I will never, ever be home alone with a strange man even if he is only working outside and never comes in. Never.

But I love men and don't know of a man in my life that would hurt me or any other person.

did you ever take self defense classes?

I think it's the greatest thing I've done to take those classes. I don't stop worrying when I come late at night, but I am confident that I can react quick enough to have a chance.

[debrand]

I live in a bland suburb and have never personally experienced rape or abuse, but I still think about it. Maybe some of us are more scared, true, due to personality differences or other factors. I don't think about it 100% of the time, but I certainly think about it when I travel alone and when I drive or walk at night or when I used to go out to bars with friends. I was taught to be mindful of those things in order to protect myself.

While I am in the store, I find my keys before I get to my car so that it won't take me long to get in the car. I try not to take too long getting in the car either. These types of actions on my part are what most women are told to do so that they aren't attacked.

[Deleted03]

I can't tell if this was said tounge-in-cheek or not, because really? Women don't get raped for what they wear, where they walk, if they're alone or not, nor for what they say. They get raped because their rapist has some pretty serious control and/or anger issues.

I think there's a difference between recognizing that some rapists are looking for vulnerable women who are easier to prey on and saying it's your fault if you made yourself vulnerable. It is not okay to prey on any individuals.

And you can't ignore that's how people think. Last summer, 2 teens were raped and killed in France while jogging in the forest. First thing both my mom and grandma said: well what were they doing running by themselves? My first question was: what was the rapist doing in the forest? How come we just accept that it is "his" space and not ours. Why do these girls had no self defense class?

[MamaJunebug]

Thread TL;DR but I must say:

Freeman wrote:

I still don't understand Feminism

valsa wrote:

That's for damn sure.

somebody else wrote:

Valsa:

:greetings-clapyellow:

And I say:

times infinity

[Effie]

In 2007, a mother was gangraped at gun point by ten men, over three hours, then she and her 12 year old son (who they forced the mother to perform oral sex on) were beaten and tortured. This was done in her apartment and her neighbors listened to her scream for those three hours without calling the police. And it's not at all an isolated event. There have been several cases that made the news of witnesses seeing or hearing women being attacked and raped, and doing nothing about it. Having more people around doesn't guarantee you'll be safer.

I can't fathom how some people can be so inexplicably cruel! Also it scares me that people around us don't show more moral courage. I mean, how hard is it to make a phone-call? We have this big problem in my country with violence against women. Out of all the murders each year, 1/5 are against women in domestic relationships. It's not unusual that the women have reported the men for violence against them before. Unfortunately the society doesn't protect these women enough. Of course the women are given a new identity and so on, but it doesn't help much if the violent men are still out there. The following scenario happened just a month ago: A man suspected of stabbing his ex-girlfriend to death in Malmö had recently been sentenced to a year in prison for assaulting her. The man had been convicted of assaulting her in November, a verdict he appealed. He had been released while waiting for the new trial date. During his release he stabbed her do death in front of their mutual children: http://www.thelocal.se/39196/20120219/

I know I don't make much sense now, mostly because this is a topic which really upsets me (and when I'm upset I don't always make much sense hehe). People tell me that feminism is not necessary in a country like my own. It's true that equality between men and women have come a long way here, but I don't think it's enough. A male classmate of mine told me the following, when I confronted him about feminism: "I know that I have a better chance to get a job than my female peers. I'm actually grateful for this fact. Getting a job is not that hard for a male social worker." I seriously wanted to slap him, but I decided to answer him with silence. I think it's very ignorant to be grateful that you can get a job because you are biologically something I am not. I mean, I know I will probably get a job easier than a Somalian woman, but I am not grateful for that fact. It's a depressing fact that we are not always valued for our qualifications.

[Alecto]

And OP is banned...

Finleeport really needs to learn to hide his/her socks better.

[Austin]

I have no respect for those who create socks. Man or woman up to your own opinions or take a hike.

[dairyfreelife]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images ... ooks&img=0

Not breaking and it's copyrighted material so I don't want to post it here, but it's cute. Loved the book when I was in elementary school.

[Guest Anonymous]

And OP is banned...

Finleeport really needs to learn to hide his/her socks better.

:lol: How bizarre to create a sock when you already have nearly 700 not-entirely-mainstream posts to your name...

ETA: :P And also, how cringe-makingly sad was her/his first effort at responding to her/his own sock post on the other thread: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=6889&p=176741#p176741