This Purim, Make Sure You Are Not Seen or Heard

[GeoBQn]

Someone took out an ad in an ultra-orthodox Jewish newspaper asking the ladies to please not mingle with male guests at Purim parties. Please relegate yourselves to other rooms, and if you simply must be in the presence of male charity collectors, try not to be noticed, heard, or "laugh out loud."

http://jezebel.com/5890647/on-purim-wom ... -nor-heard

Even for the ultra-orthodox, this is horrible. Purim is about happiness and partying, and if it weren't for Esther making sure she was seen and heard, there wouldn't even BE a Purim!

[Third]

LOL that's what I was thinking - without being loud and heard Esther wouldn't have gotten noticed and saved the day. This is a girl power celebration.

We watch the Esther Veggie Tales on Purim.

[PennySycamore]

This calls for this video from The Maccabeats:

kgJInVvJSZg

[pomology]

Someone took out an ad in an ultra-orthodox Jewish newspaper asking the ladies to please not mingle with male guests at Purim parties. Please relegate yourselves to other rooms, and if you simply must be in the presence of male charity collectors, try not to be noticed, heard, or "laugh out loud."

http://jezebel.com/5890647/on-purim-wom ... -nor-heard

Even for the ultra-orthodox, this is horrible. Purim is about happiness and partying, and if it weren't for Esther making sure she was seen and heard, there wouldn't even BE a Purim!

I didn't know that the ultra-Orthodox watched Arrested Development and wanted to turn their shuls into the Milford Academy.

Also, they are fucked up. Moreso, than usual, as you point out. Esther was BAMF and did not save the Jewish people of Persia so that people like them would treat women like little children.

[SayNoToMullets]

I see. So I'm not supposed to laugh when my dad dresses up as Disco Haman for the shpiel.

[Conuly]

What I learned about Purim as a child reading the All-of-a-Kind Family books:

It's a holiday about dressing up, giving out treats door-to-door, giving to charity, making lots of noise in the synagogue, and generally having fun. (Also, to date, there are still Jews in the world and they haven't all been killed. Yay!)

What I learned about Purim those several years when my sister worked at a Jewish non-profit with a high number of Modern Orthodox co-workers:

It's a holiday about dressing up, getting stinking drunk, giving to charity, making lots of noise in the synagogue, and did we mention the drunkenness? (Also, they still haven't killed all the Jews. YAY!)

*squints*

Nope, I don't see where there's even the tiniest bit of room for misogyny in this holiday.

Fun fact: Purim is how my sister accidentally became born-again for, like, a week.

[pomology]

What I learned about Purim as a child reading the All-of-a-Kind Family books:

It's a holiday about dressing up, giving out treats door-to-door, giving to charity, making lots of noise in the synagogue, and generally having fun. (Also, to date, there are still Jews in the world and they haven't all been killed. Yay!)

What I learned about Purim those several years when my sister worked at a Jewish non-profit with a high number of Modern Jewish co-workers:

It's a holiday about dressing up, getting stinking drunk, giving to charity, making lots of noise in the synagogue, and did we mention the drunkenness? (Also, they still haven't killed all the Jews. YAY!)

*squints*

Nope, I don't see where there's even the tiniest bit of room for misogyny in this holiday.

Fun fact: Purim is how my sister accidentally became born-again for, like, a week.

But, see, for these people there's room for misogyny everywhere.

Also, if you feel comfortable, would you mind elaborating on the story of your sister becoming born-again?

[Conuly]

Oh, sure, but I'm only going to do it once so as to not monopolize the thread!

Her mother-in-law is a very religious Christian. VERY religious. And my sister was up there with her husband and kids right after Purim, and because she was visiting she HAD to go to church with them or else she would never hear the end of it. Years later, she'd still be hearing about this.

So during church she was reading the book of Esther, because Purim had just finished (and yes, she celebrated that year, because when you work at a Jewish office you go to the Jewish office's Purim party like everybody else), and the story is just FASCINATING. And while she was engrossed in the Old Testament, everybody went up to the front. She looked up and saw her husband up there, and, thinking it was for a special prayer she went up as well. Nobody likes to be left behind, right?

She didn't realize until her mother-in-law wouldn't STOP talking about it at dinner that instead it was for people who were being born again in Christ. Whoops. :roll:

She worried for a week about how to let her mother-in-law know, gently, that she hadn't really joined the fold, (it's not a very close relationship between the two of them, you understand) before finally deciding that a. her personal sin-scale has been reset and she can rack up a whole new set of them and b. her salvation status is between her and Jesus (or not) and not really anybody else's business.

Like I said, she was accidentally born again!

[fundiefun]

Sounds like author of the ad and Steve Maxwell should be friends, they both sure know how to bring the gloom and doom out of a fun holiday.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Heh. I was just reading some discussion by people who hold that it's forbidden for kids to "cross dress" in costumes for Purim. Girls can't wear pants even in costume, and heaven forbid you put a boy in a dress. Yeah, the extreme of the extreme, plenty of other people were talking about how it's pretty standard boring costume to dress up boys as brides and what not, back in less-up-tight-land.

[GeoBQn]

These people would definitely not be happy with the belly dance costume I wore for Purim while I was studying abroad in Jerusalem. I got my first random make-out session from that costume.

[Seven Severn]

This calls for this video from The Maccabeats:

kgJInVvJSZg

I love this!

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Sounds like author of the ad and Steve Maxwell should be friends, they both sure know how to bring the gloom and doom out of a fun holiday.

People might complain when Steve's mishloach manos only have 2 animal crackers in each.

(little baskets of treats for the holiday - but done up SteveStyle!)

[pomology]

People might complain when Steve's mishloach manos only have 2 animal crackers in each.

(little baskets of treats for the holiday - but done up SteveStyle!)

That was AWESOME, gardenvarietycitizen. I actually laughed aloud, which I really rarely do.

[fundiefun]

People might complain when Steve's mishloach manos only have 2 animal crackers in each.

(little baskets of treats for the holiday - but done up SteveStyle!)

Good thing the author isn't a fundie Christian with sons that may be one courtship ole stevie would approve.

[thoughtful]

if it weren't for Esther making sure she was seen and heard, there wouldn't even BE a Purim!

Really -- talk about missing the whole point!

This granddaughter of a woman named Esther is not pleased.

[SisiL78]

There are quite a few different streams of Ultra Orthodox and unfortunately a few of those streams are VERY exclusionary. But, there are ultra Orthodox like Chabad Lubavitchers that are incredibly welcoming and charitable. Sometimes I think they are too tolerant in many ways. For instance I was a Shabbos dinner hosted by a very nice couple in a very small house with a blind cat. One woman was taking her photo with the poor cat with her cell phone. This is like a super big no-no on Shabbat and very disrespectful of the house rules, but they didn't say anything. The cat did show his displeasure though :-) Or another Chabad family that hosts college students on Fridays. Far too many girls come ready for going bar hopping after Shabbat and are barely dressed and they don't say a thing, but keep welcoming and spending their time and money hosting these meals. Unfortunately Jews are prone to having small minded and intolerant a-holes just as much as non-Jews do...

I think that it was Chabad House that made me more of a Jew and helped me discover things like Purim as an adult. I belong to a egalitarian congregation right now. Basically they are Conservative but have people of all sorts of observance levels.

[ilovetchotchkes]

Heh. I was just reading some discussion by people who hold that it's forbidden for kids to "cross dress" in costumes for Purim. Girls can't wear pants even in costume, and heaven forbid you put a boy in a dress. Yeah, the extreme of the extreme, plenty of other people were talking about how it's pretty standard boring costume to dress up boys as brides and what not, back in less-up-tight-land.

My son will be wearing a dress on Purim. Albiet its HIS historically accurate Civil War dress but its definitely a dress. :D I gave him a choice between Civil War, Octopus and a Hippie. He chose the civil war, but I think he really likes his outfit because his legs are not encumbered by pants. :D HEE !

When I found out in my conversion class about Purim, I stopped the teaching rabbi and said "ok wait, let me get this straight, You get to wear costumes, get drunk off your ass, indulge to the max, make noise in synaogogue... I do NOT need to hear any more, WHERE DO I SIGN UP". Everyone cracked up.

These people... they're sucking all the joy out of what Judaism is all about.

[Someonetocall]

This calls for this video from The Maccabeats:

kgJInVvJSZg

I do like The Maccabeats and I do like the irony of this video being female-free except for the token toddler Esther.

[2xx1xy1JD]

According to the article, the ad was taken out by an individual, not an identifiable organization.

My guess is that some cranky-pants got upset over the fact that, even in ultra-Orthodox circles, it's a holiday where people actually have fun, socialize, laugh, dress up and sometimes cross-dress, and rabbis are too drunk to notice whether everything is 100% modest.

Now, can anyone suggest an effortless costume for me? I love the holiday since it requires hardly any effort, but the result is that I put zero effort in and always end up secretly re-gifting mishloach manot (food gift packages) and doing truly lame costumes.

[Patsy]

According to the article, the ad was taken out by an individual, not an identifiable organization.

My guess is that some cranky-pants got upset over the fact that, even in ultra-Orthodox circles, it's a holiday where people actually have fun, socialize, laugh, dress up and sometimes cross-dress, and rabbis are too drunk to notice whether everything is 100% modest.

Now, can anyone suggest an effortless costume for me? I love the holiday since it requires hardly any effort, but the result is that I put zero effort in and always end up secretly re-gifting mishloach manot (food gift packages) and doing truly lame costumes.

Sticky-tape paper lunch bag to tummy. Draw whiskers and nose on your face with mascara. Tada, you are a kangaroo! This is the laziest costume I ever did.

[2xx1xy1JD]

YES! My son was asking for a kangaroo costume, and I am entirely devoid of costume-making talent. It's perfect.

[fundiefun]

Steve Maxwell has got some competition he better watch it! Purim sounds like a fun holiday fundies and extremists suck the fun out of everything I swear and want everyone around them to be as miserable as they are.

[fundyfunland]

Chareidi make Steve Maxwell et. al. look like fun-loving, socialists and/or atheists. They're becoming no better than the Taliban, especially in places like Kiryas Joel or Mea Shearim.

[Itsnotaclowncar]

Purim is so fun, it's the only time I've ever seen a priest and a rabbi walk up to a bar.