When unmarried fundies get horny

[Elle]

Meet in fall, plan a summer wedding, move it up to February with like three days of notice!

They were determined to save even their first kiss for marriage, so six months seemed like forever to them. “I don’t care if I have to get married in jeans and a t-shirt – I just want to get married!†said the bride-to-be.

Clearly horny. This is really why it happens so fast. I'm amused to see someone almost say it.

http://www.edelweisspatterns.com/blog/?p=1863

Ah, but how's her housekeeping? The delighted sister-in-law has this to say:

The newlyweds are doing wonderfully well, and the new bride is an impeccable housekeeper. This is a good thing since my brother tends to be a packrat!

http://forums.sensibility.com/viewthread.php?tid=25007

It does bother me that out of everything she could have said, she picked mentioning it's a good thing her sister-in-law is a good housekeeper because she'll have plenty to pick up. Ugh.

(Also that dress shouldn't have taken that long. It's a very simple design, even with the beaded lace. Also the bodice is ill-fitting, so it really shouldn't have taken so long.)

Editing to add: Don't feel bad for the seamstress. I'm acquainted with her, and she's the sort who loves to show off. The bride said she was fine getting married in jeans just as long as she got married. Well Ms. Show-Off was the one who "wouldn't hear of it." For someone not panicked about not having a dress and not caring (and it doesn't sound like she ever once really worried, even an hour before the wedding when the dress wasn't finished, so I give props to the bride for not being all bridezilla and freaking out over not having a dress yet), I would be anything K pushed her into this lace and that so that the bride's dream dress is really her own. And even if the bride wanted it all and asked, which K said isn't what happened, she could have said, "You know, less than 24 hours, this is a bit much." But she didn't. She "wouldn't hear of" the bride getting married in anything except a dress made my her (and her mother).

[Vex]

I think that dress pattern itself is stunning. Absolutely beautiful.

The dress itself not so much. The bodice is just not right at all, and the lace, satin and embellishment looked kind of cheap to me... though I am certainly no expert in judging the quality of fabrics. I guess since there was such a time crunch it was a decent job, but I'm sad they rushed her dress, especially since the pattern was so simple and lovely. If they'd taken their time they could have done a much nicer job.

[holierthanyou]

Um.... Any one else suspicious of a very big "preemie" being born after this wedding???

[desertvixen]

That's just sad. It's one thing if you don't want a fancy wedding, but getting hitched just so you can have sex is... sad.

[Avalondaughter]

I think that dress pattern itself is stunning. Absolutely beautiful.

The dress itself not so much. The bodice is just not right at all, and the lace, satin and embellishment looked kind of cheap to me... though I am certainly no expert in judging the quality of fabrics. I guess since there was such a time crunch it was a decent job, but I'm sad they rushed her dress, especially since the pattern was so simple and lovely. If they'd taken their time they could have done a much nicer job.

I agree. It's a gorgeous dress, but clearly not well sewn and ill-fitting. It's kind of defrauding for a fundie wedding dress.

[eohiken]

Holy fucking hell, I'm pissed off for that poor woman. I have stayed up sewing WAY to many a night not to empathise with that level of exhaution and panic. That was far too much to ask of her, FAR to much. Maybe she could have pulled of a simple dress - no applique, no overlay, no beads, no nothing but fabric and maybe lining.

I'm in the middle of pleated chiffon extravaganzas at the moment and this makes me so mad I could spit.

[Dinorah]

I agree. It's a gorgeous dress, but clearly not well sewn and ill-fitting. It's kind of defrauding for a fundie wedding dress.

I'm assuming they aren't modesty-obsessed fundies, since the bride wears jeans in one of the photos. And I agree the dress could be nice, but looks tacky and cheap to me. Maybe it would have worked better without the beading.

Anyway, it doesn't make much sense to me to think on one hand it's so important to wait for marriage and on the other to have so little self control you need to speed up your engagement. Though I agree it must get harder if it's no longer sufficient not to have sex, but you can't even kiss or cuddle.

[pixydust]

The pattern is very pretty, but it looks cheap and does not fit her! I think that they did waaaay to much lace/beading/froofroo on it. I think a less shiny fabric would have been prettier (but I hate shiny fabric, so I could be wrong). I don't understand why the dress is so big!

And yes I agree.....an 8 pound "early" baby in 8 months will probably show up!

[erunerune]

Reading the story, I was most curious about the cost involved in this dress-making marathon: So the bride had already purchased ONE dress that wasn't going to arrive for the hurry-up wedding. They then went to the fabric store and bought eleventy yards of wedding-dress fabric (the story mentions this included 4 yards of lace that cost $90/yard if I remember correctly). That adds up really quickly -- I personally don't give a rip how much anyone spends on their wedding dress as long as I don't have to pay for it, it's just this whole thing seems pretty illogical financially.

If someone loved me enough to stay up all night making me a dress that, despite their best efforts and good intentions, just was never going to fit me properly given the time crunch, I would love them back enough to say "Please get some sleep so you can enjoy my wedding tomorrow, I'll just pop over to the mall and find something pretty that's ready-to-wear."

I was torn between genuinely feeling bad for the seamstress and just being annoyed by her self-imposed martyrdom.

[ilovetchotchkes]

Holy fucking hell, I'm pissed off for that poor woman. I have stayed up sewing WAY to many a night not to empathise with that level of exhaution and panic. That was far too much to ask of her, FAR to much. Maybe she could have pulled of a simple dress - no applique, no overlay, no beads, no nothing but fabric and maybe lining.

I'm in the middle of pleated chiffon extravaganzas at the moment and this makes me so mad I could spit.

THIS.

Friends of ours who are borderline fundie-lite got married in a quickie wedding. (they were already living together, but he had had enough of his future FIL lecturing him about "living in sin with his daughter"). She went out to DEB or JC-Penny's and bought a really really pretty silver "ballgown" dress that was probably meant to be used as a prom dress or a Quincinara dress, but it was lovely and it looked lovely on her. Better yet, it fit her PERFECTLY.

I think the expectation to make a wedding dress in this short of time is completely unreasonable. Worse yet, I wanted to rip the dress of the bride and fix the fitting issues. And further more, if they spent what was likely about $500-600 on the FABRIC, I find it HIGHLY unlikely that you would NOT be able to run into a David's bridal and find something that I DONT KNOW, actually FITS.

[CanadianHippie]

What is up with the wedding pictures? Someone went overboard on the special effects.

[clibbyjo]

Both links take me to the main page forums and I would like to see this ill fitting disaster so could someone post the direct picture or something?

[Third]

Getting married quickly seems to be typical of Christian couples who don't want to have sex before marriage or are pregnant. My husband's aunt didn't attend our wedding because she assumed we were pregnant because our engagement was only 7 months. Then her daughter got married and 4 months later had a full term baby. I laughed and laughed and she glared at me. Not that I care - nobody in my family got married until after the first kid was old enough to take part in the wedding just how hypocritical she was.

[debrand]

As a teen, I had a pretty high libido. Because I wanted to wait until I fell in love to have sex, I was somewhat miserable. Nothing that I did could prevent me from thinking about sex and what it might be like. So, I've often wondered how fundies deal with desire when they can't masturbate for relief. Apparently, they have quicky weddings.

Getting married just to have sex is sad.

[bananacat]

Yeah, that bodice is...unfortunate. She should have just bought some plain dress at a department store. Most of them will even do alterations for you. Why do fundies have this weird fetish for hand-made dresses? It's not like she saved any money in this case.

I'm on board for a suspiciously large preemie.

[debrand]

Getting married quickly seems to be typical of Christian couples who don't want to have sex before marriage or are pregnant. My husband's aunt didn't attend our wedding because she assumed we were pregnant because our engagement was only 7 months. Then her daughter got married and 4 months later had a full term baby. I laughed and laughed and she glared at me. Not that I care - nobody in my family got married until after the first kid was old enough to take part in the wedding just how hypocritical she was.

My brother and his live in girlfriend have discovered that she is pregnant. They were planning a wedding anyway so she picked out a nice maternity dress. No one is upset that she is pregnant. I am just happy that he has found a sweet person to marry

[lawfulevil]

Getting married in a hurry because you're pregnant is pretty common where I'm from- my grandmother still isn't speaking to me because I got married and a blessing DIDN'T appear 5-8 months later.

[Third]

My brother and his live in girlfriend have discovered that she is pregnant. They were planning a wedding anyway so she picked out a nice maternity dress. No one is upset that she is pregnant. I am just happy that he has found a sweet person to marry

My best friend got pregnant while planning her wedding. Nobody cared. It's the "OMG I'm pregnant must get married before I start showing!!" that's really odd in the 21st century.

[moreorlessnu]

I think the expectation to make a wedding dress in this short of time is completely unreasonable. Worse yet, I wanted to rip the dress of the bride and fix the fitting issues. And further more, if they spent what was likely about $500-600 on the FABRIC, I find it HIGHLY unlikely that you would NOT be able to run into a David's bridal and find something that I DONT KNOW, actually FITS.

Given that the groom's sister is such a whiz w/ the sewing machine, she probably could have tailored an ill-fitting David's Bridal dress in less time than she took to whip the dress together.

I also question the 4 yards of $90/yard French lace. Really?

I know someone who has a similar type business. She would never bring "colored food" (like coffee ice cream) into the sewing area, especially when dealing with white fabrics. Time crunch mixed with white fabrics mixed with exhaustion mixed with coffee ice cream is a recipe for disaster.

Is is me, or is the maid of honor's dress also ill-fitting? There's something weird about the way the sides fall.

[jesssnerch]

I'm not sure why she couldn't just buy a wedding dress from a David's Bridal type place and just pay for rush alterations? It would probably cost the same as it did to make a dress. For the record I got married after I found out I was preggo (we were living together and were going to do it anyway, getting knocked up just pushed the time line) and I planned a wedding in a few weeks and got a dress from David's Bridal and even though I was about 5 months along, you couldn't tell. Empire waists are great for that type of thing. My point was no one was inconvenienced by my sudden, I NEED TO GET MARRIED NOW, RAWR!

[SpeshulTaterTot]

If the lace on that dress really cost that much money, it's a real waste. It's not even a bad dress, it's just so... 80's. But I guess it goes with the ring with "omg 40 diamonds!!!111!!!". Really?

A good friend of mine planned her wedding in six weeks last year and drove us all insane because she turned into a full-blown bridezilla. Of course everyone thought she was pregnant, but she just thought that after waiting nine years until he proposed, they'd better hurry it up. I went dress shopping with her, and while six weeks was a bit of a time crunch, there were dresses in some stores that were nice, not too expensive, and could've been altered to fit perfectly in a couple of hours. I would've been PISSED if I'd been expected to make all those dresses and decorations in such a short amount of time.

[ilovetchotchkes]

Given that the groom's sister is such a whiz w/ the sewing machine, she probably could have tailored an ill-fitting David's Bridal dress in less time than she took to whip the dress together.

I also question the 4 yards of $90/yard French lace. Really?

I know someone who has a similar type business. She would never bring "colored food" (like coffee ice cream) into the sewing area, especially when dealing with white fabrics. Time crunch mixed with white fabrics mixed with exhaustion mixed with coffee ice cream is a recipe for disaster.

Is is me, or is the maid of honor's dress also ill-fitting? There's something weird about the way the sides fall.

MOH's dress needs to be pressed BADLY.

David's bridal dresses are a PITA to do alterations to. i think they do it on purpose. You pretty much have to take the entire #(*#%ing thing apart. My brother who taught me to sew, who has a pretty successful albiet small victorian costuming business- he works a full time 40 hour a week job to pay the bills, the victorian dresses are just for fun/mad money even though we all tell him "QUIT YOUR DAY JOB" - and he has had times when he's unemployed that the costuming helped in a big way pay the mortgage, he just upped his intake of custom orders but i'm digressing..... He wouldn't even touch the monstrosity my parents forced me to buy from David's Bridal when they refused to take it in because I also refused to let them take up the hem I shit you not 1/4 of an inch. He made me a dress instead, and let me tell you it looked a LOT better than the dress from this gal. (he also took over 4 weeks to make it but there you go).

However, Jasmine Bridals are a CINCH. I've done multiple alterations on bridesmaids gowns from that line and it was easy peasy and looked great at the end.

As far as being pregnant at one's nuptials.... I"m having a Jewish wedding in a couple of months (already been civilly married for 5 years) and I'm going to be 7 1/2 months pregnant with #2. No shame there! I know other ladies who have been pregnant at the wedding. I have a theory. The less the fuss about it is made, the more chances of the marriage being successful. If its this huge shameful "OMFG SHOTGUN WEDDING" like my aunt's, then its going to end badly. If its "oh no big, the bride is pregnant! we have to find her a well fitting dress".... I dunno.... just my personal anecdotae...

[eohiken]

A pox on everyone snarking about the fit of the dresses - they are put together! You get what you get when you condense a month's work into 18 hours. :naughty: I'm impressed there isn't bloodstains and duct tape on that bad boy.

And coffee ice cream my ass, you might as well be drinking green tea for all that's going to help you stay awake. Time to put that moral aside and break out the NoDoz.

[doggie]

As a teen, I had a pretty high libido. Because I wanted to wait until I fell in love to have sex, I was somewhat miserable. Nothing that I did could prevent me from thinking about sex and what it might be like. So, I've often wondered how fundies deal with desire when they can't masturbate for relief. Apparently, they have quicky weddings.

Getting married just to have sex is sad.

they turn into nasty hating fundies.

[baristachica]

This dress is probably the best hand-made (fundy version, anyway) wedding dress I've seen. I know the fit isn't great, but I give her a pass on such short notice and not being able to even fit it onto the bride during the latter part of sewing.

I also give her a pass on her own dress (which looks much worse) because most of the attention went to the unexpected huge dress project.

Plus, they're both so much better than what I could do. :lol:

However, I think it is absolutely ridiculous that they would plan a wedding on such short notice not even for SEX, but just to KISS. :roll: Seriously. Go have a makeout session and get over it. That might even keep you pacified until the wedding was supposed to happen anyway. And I hate it when they make a big deal out of "we waited!!1!!" when they moved up the wedding and planned it in a ridiculous amount of time so that they DIDN'T have to wait. Yeah, you're special all right!