Why are none of the Duggar daughters married?

[gustava]

I do wonder if the Duggars are really ATI royalty or if they are less popular amongst fundies now for being on TV.

We've speculated about this. Might anyone provide evidence/support?

[BayLee_10]

Whether is would be 'marrying down' or not, Lawson Bates is certainly good looking! How would Jim Bob tell him no if he were interested in Jessa or Jinger? As for the cameras, Anna adjusted to them awfully quickly and awfully well!

[moreorlessnu]

Bingo! The hardcore ATI fundies do not approve of the Duggars' worldly lifestyle, and don't want their sons marrying young women who aren't utterly submissive and fundy-thinking. Between that and the fact the 4 eldest girls have gotten used to a lot of material comfort and relative freedom by ATI standards, and are legal adults with major name/face recognition that can be translated into income, I'd be surprised if any of them actually marry a serious ATI "headship" guy. And with the colossal amount of time all of them have spent doing substitute mother duty for the long parade of babies/toddlers/children, I seriously doubt that any of them are anxious to start having babies of their own, which they'd of course be expected/coerced to do immediately if they married an ATI headship guy. Remember, Michelle was the baby of her family -- she never took care of younger siblings, so the idea of having and caring for a big crowd of little ones was new and exciting for her. For Jana/Jil/Jessa/Jinger, it's definitely "been there, done that".

On the other hand, the Duggars being on TV have exposed fundie-ism to mainstream America, and that has a value to the fundie world, even if the Duggars aren't technically the fundie ideal. Jim-Bob is using TV more than TV is using Jim-Bob. There are others who think along the same lines as Jim-Bob in this regard, and they'll recognize they need a younger generation to continue their message.

[Lana]

I do think the tv show is hurting the girls' prospects. Fundie men are sickeningly obsessed with no one else "knowing" their wives. I can see the guys thinking that Jana or Jill or Jessa is too worldly in both senses- they know too much snd too many people. They are like that overhandled rose Anna was cautioning everyone about. :roll:

[xReems]

Remember last season's finale episode where Jill said "go ask my dad, he knows what we like in a husband" to the question regarding dating? IMO, that's proof that fundie girls do not have a say in their courtship/marriage. The guy is the one who goes to his parents and prays about it, then talks to the girl's parents and prays about it some more. The girl's father brings up some random guy's name whom they may know really well or not so well and the girl has a couple days to pray about it and then tells her dad yes or no. The whole point of a courtship is to get to know one another but it's okay if the courtship fails because it was from God. Still don't know how that is any different from regular dating but anyhow...

Jim Bob has total control on his older girls. It's evident that Michelle and JB cannot function even 6 hours without their older girls mothering the younger ones. Who knows, maybe they have had some prospects call JB up but has secretly turn them down. Frankly, I think for Dim and Boob, it's easier for them to let go of their sons than their daughters since they heavily rely on them.

Remember when good 'ol Knight said the Duggars had a mini scandal where one of the older girls was caught texting a boy? He said that JB and Boob said they were not allowed to talk for a while or something like that. Of course, I do have a hard time believing Knight but perhaps if this was true, maybe that was a sign that JB and Michelle feel their girls still need to help out at home and not talk to any boys. I'm sorry, not JB and Michelle, this was all God.

[chiccy]

I do think the tv show is hurting the girls' prospects. Fundie men are sickeningly obsessed with no one else "knowing" their wives. I can see the guys thinking that Jana or Jill or Jessa is too worldly in both senses- they know too much snd too many people. They are like that overhandled rose Anna was cautioning everyone about. :roll:

Yeah, and also, a Quiverfull man might feel emasculated by always having to go along with the Duggar/TLC plans rather than making his own decisions for his family (vacations, etc.) The show is for sure the biggest reason the girls aren't getting married, IMO.

[moreorlessnu]

Yeah, and also, a Quiverfull man might feel emasculated by always having to go along with the Duggar/TLC plans rather than making his own decisions for his family (vacations, etc.) The show is for sure the biggest reason the girls aren't getting married, IMO.

But a Quiverfull man at this point would be a very young, sheltered, early 20-something guy who would still be somewhat under the control of Jim-Bob.

[Lady]

I've wondered about this myself, and have come to several possible conclusions.

One is as stated by HijabiLady - if JimBob were to allow any of his daughters to marry (and *gasp!* move away), he would lose control over them. I think most of us agree that JimBob is a very insecure man and his identity as a male in the world is all tied into having as many children as possible. He does not seem to interact comfortably with other men, unless he can somehow feel superior to them (having more children, more toys, having the ability to "give" them a nicer home, etc.)

Another reason is that if a courtship of an older daughter were to take place and be filmed for the show, that would usurp Michelle as QueenBee and this is something that would irk her no end. The focus would be on the engaged daughter, going to visit her fiance's family, going to pick out frumper fabric for a wedding dress, going on chaperoned dates, talking about how much she is looking forward to escaping, errr, beginning the next chapter of her life, etc.

Plus, one courtship/wedding might spark an unquenchable desire in the other older girls to do the same.

Hasn't JB mentioned that one reason he purchased so much property was that one day, his children could build homes and it would become a Duggar compound of sorts? I think he fully expects that most of his children will stay living on the property, at he and Michelle's beck and call, fully ready to pose for photographs for tourists, for the rest of their lives. I really hope most of those kids can escape at some point, and leave JB and Michelle to fend for themselves when they are in their dotage.

To this I would add the economy. Since the man is expected to support his family with a small business he starts, that has to be in place for a courtship to begin. The economy sucks everywhere but starting a small business in a rural part of the country has got to be difficult if not impossible.

[JenniferJuniper]

Jim-Bob is using TV more than TV is using Jim-Bob. There are others who think along the same lines as Jim-Bob in this regard, and they'll recognize they need a younger generation to continue their message.

TV always wins the "using game" in the end. It's a law of nature. Boob may think he's spreading the word and believe he actually has editorial control, but TLC is in charge here, and while I can't prove it, my strong sense is that most 19 Kids viewers watch because it's akin to a good old fashioned freak show. Are there people who watch because they're enamored with the family's lifestyle? Certainly. And while they may be vocal ones on message boards (as the nutters always are), they are in the minority of the viewership. So while TLC must walk a fine line with them and Boob, they are consistently throwing red meat out to the majority of the audience tuning in to watch a very bizarre family.

chiccy wrote:

Lana wrote:

I do think the tv show is hurting the girls' prospects. Fundie men are sickeningly obsessed with no one else "knowing" their wives. I can see the guys thinking that Jana or Jill or Jessa is too worldly in both senses- they know too much snd too many people. They are like that overhandled rose Anna was cautioning everyone about.

Yeah, and also, a Quiverfull man might feel emasculated by always having to go along with the Duggar/TLC plans rather than making his own decisions for his family (vacations, etc.) The show is for sure the biggest reason the girls aren't getting married, IMO.

But a Quiverfull man at this point would be a very young, sheltered, early 20-something guy who would still be somewhat under the control of Jim-Bob..

He'd also be a very, young sheltered early 20 something guy who would likely still be highly influenced by his parents. Parents who might not think it such a good idea for their son to get mixed up in this hot mess of a reality TV show.

[Feberin]

Bingo! The hardcore ATI fundies do not approve of the Duggars' worldly lifestyle, and don't want their sons marrying young women who aren't utterly submissive and fundy-thinking. Between that and the fact the 4 eldest girls have gotten used to a lot of material comfort and relative freedom by ATI standards, and are legal adults with major name/face recognition that can be translated into income, I'd be surprised if any of them actually marry a serious ATI "headship" guy. And with the colossal amount of time all of them have spent doing substitute mother duty for the long parade of babies/toddlers/children, I seriously doubt that any of them are anxious to start having babies of their own, which they'd of course be expected/coerced to do immediately if they married an ATI headship guy. Remember, Michelle was the baby of her family -- she never took care of younger siblings, so the idea of having and caring for a big crowd of little ones was new and exciting for her. For Jana/Jil/Jessa/Jinger, it's definitely "been there, done that".

I don't know the girls have been raised their entire lives with marrying and having babies as their ideal futures. Also if they were to marry and move out of the house they would have 9 months minimum until ONE baby came along. Instead of all those little kids including a bunch of rowdy preteen boys. I also think some of the girls such as Jill really enjoy babies and children. I also think Jessa would love all the attention she'd get as a bride. I also think Jessa leaving wouldn't cause a huge gap since Jinger could do her chores and Joy is overdue for laundry duty (poor thing).

I think JD and Joseph are too shy to get married on the show. I almost think JD is to shy to approach a girl for courting although JB might work something out for JD. I wouldn't be shocked if Josiah was the next to get married. He seems to want to get out of that house.

[Markie]

I could totally see JD or Joseph marrying a local girl, like one of the Querys or one of those girls JimBob took along to the father daughter camp-retreat thing.

[gezykah]

The girls might not be too upset about it. Living at home could be like birth control to them. If they buy into how their parents raised them or aren't ready to break away from the family then staying sweet and raising their siblings could be a better alternative than starting to have their own kids so young.

[Third]

That is a good idea actually. While you don't get to have sex [is it against the fundy rules for women to have fun during sex?] the longer you wait the fewer years you have to have kids. Then hope and pray your fertility is suppressed by nursing.

[Mama Mia]

I just think those young women are smart enough to know that if they wait until they are mid-late twenties to marry it means they get to enjoy the tlc gravy train/travel/"worldliness" as long as possible.

There probably won't be any new babies at home and soon there won't even be toddlers to chase after. They will get a few years in where they are caring for children who can do most self care themselves and even help out with the cooking/cleaning.

They enter a courtship at 25-26, marry a year or two later, and don't have their own babies until they are close to 30. Even if they are as fertile as their mom, they still will likely end up with a single digit number of children - instead of the insane hoard they are used to.

I first began to wonder about how 'genuine' the Duggars were because the older daughters weren't marrying, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense that all these SAHD types would postpone marriage in order to limit their family size.

While they probably can't state this directly to their parents, they probably can subtly discourage any potential suitors.

[Guest LilaFowler]

Not to be TMI, but I hope the older girls have discovered the shower head. :oops:

[Lady]

Not to be TMI, but I hope the older girls have discovered the shower head. :oops:

:lol:

The bathroom and the prayer closet are the only private places in that house. Imagine how busy it will be in a few years when the howlers start using the prayer closet 4 times a day.

[bananacat]

I wonder if any of the kids are allowed to be alone in the bathroom for more than a few minutes. I know that Razing Ruth's dad made a rule that someone else of the same gender had to be in the bathroom during showers/baths. The Duggars seem a little less strict, but I wouldn't be surprised if they had a rule like that.

[Lady]

Question- since ATI and Quivereful are so conservative, does anyone know if they hold the traditional views about weddings? I am wondering if Jim Bob has to pay for the girl's weddings since the bride's family traditionally foots the bill. Maybe he's too cheap to pay for it.

[Fundilicious]

The bathroom and the prayer closet are the only private places in that house. Imagine how busy it will be in a few years when the howlers start using the prayer closet 4 times a day.

I wouldn't be surprised if Pa Duggar had installed some sort of hidden camera in the prayer closet to make sure no one was succumbing to "sin".

[JenniferJuniper]

I wouldn't be surprised if Pa Duggar had installed some sort of hidden camera in the prayer closet to make sure no one was succumbing to "sin".

When it comes to boys that age, it's either the sin or the sheets.

Even Jim Boob can't control that biological reality.

[SisiL78]

I think that the Duggar girls see what its like to be a Gothardite wife with no money. They must see the other girls/women their age at the conferences who are living in poverty and having tons of kids and looking miserable and worn out. They have to realize that while they don't have a great situation at home that, at least, they don't have some guy they barely know and who can barely support a family demanding his husbandly rights every night and then doing absolutely nothing to help his wife.

I have an amazing husband to be that does more around the house than I do. I know that if I'm worn out from being home with a baby all day that he will help with the chores and change a diaper. He might even kick me out of the house for a few hours and force me to go out with the girls and have fun.

The Duggar girls aren't stupid. They might be undereducated, but they know that they are going to be slaves of one sort. At least their current slavery includes working appliances, air conditioning and sleeping alone.

[JenniferJuniper]

I think that the Duggar girls see what its like to be a Gothardite wife with no money. They must see the other girls/women their age at the conferences who are living in poverty and having tons of kids and looking miserable and worn out. They have to realize that while they don't have a great situation at home that, at least, they don't have some guy they barely know and who can barely support a family demanding his husbandly rights every night and then doing absolutely nothing to help his wife.

I have an amazing husband to be that does more around the house than I do. I know that if I'm worn out from being home with a baby all day that he will help with the chores and change a diaper. He might even kick me out of the house for a few hours and force me to go out with the girls and have fun.

The Duggar girls aren't stupid. They might be undereducated, but they know that they are going to be slaves of one sort. At least their current slavery includes working appliances, air conditioning and sleeping alone.

The young Duggar women no doubt recall their lives in that tiny 3 bedroom house. And if they've somehow romanticized the good old days of childhood, they most certainly know how the Bates were living before they TLC built them a new house.

On the compound, at least they have each other to share the load and commiserate with.

[Justme]

Question- since ATI and Quivereful are so conservative, does anyone know if they hold the traditional views about weddings? I am wondering if Jim Bob has to pay for the girl's weddings since the bride's family traditionally foots the bill. Maybe he's too cheap to pay for it.

HaHaHa!!! It will probably like the Maxwells, cake, mints, punch and maybe a few nuts! No way is CheapBoob going to spring for a dinner!

[MandyLaLa]

HaHaHa!!! It will probably like the Maxwells, cake, mints, punch and maybe a few nuts! No way is CheapBoob going to spring for a dinner!

I wouldn't put it past Boob to try and get it paid for either by TLC or with product placement :roll:

*Provided they're still being filmed at that point.

[gilora]

I thiink it's a combination of things -- Jim Bob's weird interest in purity, the free child care and housework, plus ratings and speaking engagements.

The daughers are all very attractive. Having them marry w ould boost ratings in the short term, but losing the daughters' presence could ultimately hurt future ratings and make the family less desireable at speaking engagements.