Why are none of the Duggar daughters married?

[Kitten]

My HOPE would be that they are just biding their time, appearing to be dutiful and devoted SAHDs to avoid being trapped in marriages that would doom them to a lifetime of ATI servitude. Secretly, they are using the opportunities provided by the show to make connections with the "outside" world, and are simply waiting until the show ends to make their escape into freedom of choice with the least amount of attention and fuss.

In reality, it's hard to believe that every single one of the Duggar children will be the rabid ATI followers their parents are. We've already seen the effect of increased wealth and worldly exposure on the older children (the iPhones, new clothing instead of used, expensive cameras and computers, eating out frequently, etc.), as well as the effect of the more lenient environment (necessitated by the cameras and the required travel) in which the younger children have been raised.

But being the "first" to break away from a cult is always hard. I suspect once one goes, many of the others will follow.

[Third]

Think maybe nobody's asking? Has to be intimidating to try 'courting' someone in the eye of not only her huge family but the public having their own opinion.

What would JB and TLC do if the girl's new headship refuses to be on TV?

[Guest LilaFowler]

It's sad that the Duggars *don't* say they will love and accept their children if they decide to break away from the religion they follow. When asked, they either side-step the issue, deflect away, or make it clear that they definitely expect their children to follow Gothard.

Jim Bob and Michelle won't actually say it to the public, but I truly believe any of the children who broke away would be banaished from the family forever.

[shesinsane]

It's sad that the Duggars *don't* say they will love and accept their children if they decide to break away from the religion they follow. When asked, they either side-step the issue, deflect away, or make it clear that they definitely expect their children to follow Gothard.

Jim Bob and Michelle won't actually say it to the public, but I truly believe any of the children who broke away would be banaished from the family forever.

I agree. Rather than saying the one who escaped is being punished for leaving, they would say the break is necessary to protect the children left behind (while telling the child crying for their escaped buddy how evil that buddy was, and not worthy of their tears or memories).

[ohpotteryourotter]

I agree. Rather than saying the one who escaped is being punished for leaving, they would say the break is necessary to protect the children left behind (while telling the child crying for their escaped buddy how evil that buddy was, and not worthy of their tears or memories).

For sure they'll say "look how evil the outside secular world is, look what it did to your brother/sister!" while in reality their lifestyle was the source. But that's something their brains can't handle.

[EmmieJ]

The root or Gothardism is iron clad control over one's own spawn. So until JIm-bo deems someone "worthy" enough for his slave girls, they will be SAHDs for a long time to come. Add to that the incredible amount of work his adult daughters accomplish in one day in house slavery, why would he and Michelle be compelled to throw out life time indentured servants?

I've wondered about this myself, and have come to several possible conclusions.

One is as stated by HijabiLady - if JimBob were to allow any of his daughters to marry (and *gasp!* move away), he would lose control over them. I think most of us agree that JimBob is a very insecure man and his identity as a male in the world is all tied into having as many children as possible. He does not seem to interact comfortably with other men, unless he can somehow feel superior to them (having more children, more toys, having the ability to "give" them a nicer home, etc.)

Another reason is that if a courtship of an older daughter were to take place and be filmed for the show, that would usurp Michelle as QueenBee and this is something that would irk her no end. The focus would be on the engaged daughter, going to visit her fiance's family, going to pick out frumper fabric for a wedding dress, going on chaperoned dates, talking about how much she is looking forward to escaping, errr, beginning the next chapter of her life, etc.

Plus, one courtship/wedding might spark an unquenchable desire in the other older girls to do the same.

Hasn't JB mentioned that one reason he purchased so much property was that one day, his children could build homes and it would become a Duggar compound of sorts? I think he fully expects that most of his children will stay living on the property, at he and Michelle's beck and call, fully ready to pose for photographs for tourists, for the rest of their lives. I really hope most of those kids can escape at some point, and leave JB and Michelle to fend for themselves when they are in their dotage.

[JenniferJuniper]

It's sad that the Duggars *don't* say they will love and accept their children if they decide to break away from the religion they follow. When asked, they either side-step the issue, deflect away, or make it clear that they definitely expect their children to follow Gothard.

Jim Bob and Michelle won't actually say it to the public, but I truly believe any of the children who broke away would be banaished from the family forever.

I'd agree wholeheartedly but for the fact that if they banished any of the kids forever, it WOULD be public knowledge.

Jim Boob - say hello to Mr. Rock on your left, and Ms. Hard Place on your right.

If not for the show, at least 3 of the oldest daughters would be married with blessings by now. But the show has complicated things in so many different ways, the young women (time to stop calling them girls) of the family are in a sort of limbo. They can't court just anyone for starters, and anyone they do must be acceptable to TLC in addition to being Boob and Gothard certified.. To complicate things further, any acceptable young man AND his family would have to be willing to have their personal lives exposed in a way most people would not be okay with. Presumably anyone acceptable to Boob would not be dirt poor, so the money angle is less likely to work the way it probably did with the Kellers.

Finally, Jana, Jill, Jessa and Jinger are not your run-of-the-mill ATI. They're well heeled and well traveled and they may well reject any suitor who seems backwards or unambitious to them. If Jim Bob tries to force the issue, he runs the risk of - what was the phrase Michelle used in the last episode-"harming his relationship with the children"? and if that ever happened, TMZ would be on him like white on rice.

And so we end up with what appears to be a pretty stagnant situation.

[fluttershies]

I'd agree wholeheartedly but for the fact that if they banished any of the kids forever, it WOULD be public knowledge.

Jim Boob - say hello to Mr. Rock on your left, and Ms. Hard Place on your right.

If not for the show, at least 3 of the oldest daughters would be married with blessings by now. But the show has complicated things in so many different ways, the young women (time to stop calling them girls) of the family are in a sort of limbo. They can't court just anyone for starters, and anyone they do must be acceptable to TLC in addition to being Boob and Gothard certified.. To complicate things further, any acceptable young man AND his family would have to be willing to have their personal lives exposed in a way most people would not be okay with. Presumably anyone acceptable to Boob would not be dirt poor, so the money angle is less likely to work the way it probably did with the Kellers.

Finally, Jana, Jill, Jessa and Jinger are not your run-of-the-mill ATI. They're well heeled and well traveled and they may well reject any suitor who seems backwards or unambitious to them. If Jim Bob tries to force the issue, he runs the risk of - what was the phrase Michelle used in the last episode-"harming his relationship with the children"? and if that ever happened, TMZ would be on him like white on rice.

And so we end up with what appears to be a pretty stagnant situation.

I agree with all of that. So does anyone think any of the older boys are likely to marry within a few years?

[JenniferJuniper]

I agree with all of that. So does anyone think any of the older boys are likely to marry within a few years?

Probably John will be - out of sheer desperation to get laid! But the show makes things hard for him too. He seems so very shy that the notion of a series of shows being centered around him and his intended would probably terrify him. Joseph comes off as a little less shy, but he still seems like such a young boy to me.

Maybe Josh was on to something when he said Josiah would be the next to get married.

[ohpotteryourotter]

I agree with all of that. So does anyone think any of the older boys are likely to marry within a few years?

Definitely JD, he's at that age. I'm actually a bit surprised he isn't already in courtship. Isn't that kind of late in the fundie world? He's 22 after all. The next oldest boy is Josh and he still has a few years to go before he's even legal.

I have a feeling that JB would let Jessa and Jinger go off and get married. But never Jana or Jill. They seem to be the favorites and the ones that do most of the work. I don't think he could ever let them go. I just get that vibe. They're both important to the running of the house. Jessa and Jinger's chores can be easily taken over by another girl.

[Justme]

I think Boob suffers from "Stevie Maxwell-ites". I don't think he will easily relinquish his "control" to another man. I think the idea of one of his daughters having sex gives him a mild heartattack.

I also think there are wwaayyy more girls/women in the fundie world. The boys/men are trained for to earn a living. They can easily live their life without a wife. A woman, on the other hand, must wait in her fathers home living as a child.

I also think the Duggar's high profile is scarring away any potential mates.

I think it's going to be a long time before we see a Duggar daughter marry. (A/k/a, Sarah Maxwell...)

[chiccy]

Here's my theory. I am thinking Jim Bob wants to marry the girls off (/let them start courting) in birth order so that no one's feelings get hurt. (This is nice of him, if it is true.) So that would mean Jana first. Now, while I think there are men who would be interested in Jana, I think that the kind of man who would like her would not also want to be part of the show. Jana is quiet and low-profile and I get the idea that she doesn't really like the show. A man who would be a good fit for her personality-wise would probably also NOT want to deal with the show.

Being part of the show is a foregone conclusion for anyone marrying a Duggar girl. Hence, no one's marrying Jana, and the other girls are kept waiting in line. Will this ever change? Presumably someday, but who knows...

[freealljs]

Here's my theory. I am thinking Jim Bob wants to marry the girls off (/let them start courting) in birth order so that no one's feelings get hurt. (This is nice of him, if it is true.) So that would mean Jana first. Now, while I think there are men who would be interested in Jana, I think that the kind of man who would like her would not also want to be part of the show. Jana is quiet and low-profile and I get the idea that she doesn't really like the show. A man who would be a good fit for her personality-wise would probably also NOT want to deal with the show.

Being part of the show is a foregone conclusion for anyone marrying a Duggar girl. Hence, no one's marrying Jana, and the other girls are kept waiting in line. Will this ever change? Presumably someday, but who knows...

I agree. I was actually thinking also that maybe potential suitors don't want Jim Bob as a father-in-law.

[Fundilicious]

In reality, it's hard to believe that every single one of the Duggar children will be the rabid ATI followers their parents are. We've already seen the effect of increased wealth and worldly exposure on the older children (the iPhones, new clothing instead of used, expensive cameras and computers, eating out frequently, etc.), as well as the effect of the more lenient environment (necessitated by the cameras and the required travel) in which the younger children have been raised.

And this is why I think it will be one of the middle (under Josiah) to the youngest children that will be the first to leave. They weren't raised in the uber strict environment their older siblings were raised in. They are very much accustomed to new (saving no difference) and high tech gadgets. They travel more often, and while still censored from many things, are also at the same time exposed to more things. I don't know about you, but I have seen a lot more time spent in front of the computer screen with the younger ones then I'm sure any of the older ones got.

Those girls grew up when their parents practiced their extreme fundamentalism and are probably so engrained in it, that the little bit of newness that they have experienced with the more up-to-date clothing and iphones won't cause them to stray with how brainwashed they are.

That being said, the way I see it I bet those girls are happy to wait as long as the can to get married. If they get married now and have to participate in leaving their childbearing up to God, they could end up with 19 kids too. If they don't get married till their 30 their child bearing years decrease, and maybe will only end up with 5-7.....just saying ;)

[Kitty]

I agree that the show is likely chasing away potential (serious) suitors. If there are some still around, we don't see them, since they're probably at all the ATI conferences and whatnot. I'd be very surprised if there were any girls waiting for JD or Joseph, too, because of the show.

One of the things that has bothered me about the show is that the kids seem to be treated as a unit, preventing any of the older kids from leaving. Hell, Josh can't even move very far away; he and Anna and their kids are stuck on the show too. I don't think that if Josh wanted to and was able to move, he wouldn't be allowed to and TLC would get pissed off at him. I bet after the show ends, all the rest of the adult kids will be married off and out of the house fairly quickly. And once Josiah or Joy hit 18 they'll run for the hills.

[bananacat]

I think it's more about Daddy losing the attention more than about Mommy losing the housekeepers/childcarers. Patriarchy revolves around DAD. There's a very creepy emotional incest vibe going through the entire movement, especially with the purity rings/balls and the advice for fathers to romance their daughters so they won't look at boys their own age. Jim Bob has 4 attractive young women who are required to worship him, adore him, obey him, and cater to his ever whim. Why would he ever give that up? I get the distinct impression that men in the Patriarchy movement only give up their daughters if they can't afford to financially support them indefinitely. Like most fundie royalty, we'll see the sons married off while the daughters remain at home adoring Dear Old Dad, but once the TLC gravy train ends, we might see them start courting if Jim Bob can no longer afford hair gel and fake tan by the gallon. But he has worked for a long time to build up his little empire and he won't give up control easily.

[samithemage]

I think, if Boob gets desperate to keep the show on air, he'll be willing to marry off one of the older girls. It would definitely be a ratings boost, at least short term. It would be even better, ratings wise, for a JD/Jana double wedding. I also get the feeling that he wants to find a guy who is willing to move to AR and live under his thumb. I can't see him letting one of his precious girls move away and be completely out of his control. I could see him marrying off Jana to a nice, easily manipulated young man in order to keep her at least somewhat under his "protection."

[Snickerdoodle]

Another reason is that if a courtship of an older daughter were to take place and be filmed for the show, that would usurp Michelle as QueenBee and this is something that would irk her no end. The focus would be on the engaged daughter, going to visit her fiance's family, going to pick out frumper fabric for a wedding dress, going on chaperoned dates, talking about how much she is looking forward to escaping, errr, beginning the next chapter of her life, etc.

That's as astute observation. It's not uncommon for youngish, attractive mothers of young women (of any ideology) to really struggle with their own identity when men start noticing their daughters rather than them. In Michelle's case, where she's basically getting paid to have babies, and noticed worldwide, the loss of that attention would probably really rock her world.

[clover_leigh]

Marrying off some of the girls might increase a chance for a spinoff. We dont want that. Hoping they'll just leave on their own and go live sort of normal lives.

[NJMom]

I have to wonder if Joshua was seriously looking for a wife at age 19 because he himself was kind of unhappy at home, and wanted to marry and live on his own as quickly as possible. With Anna's family, I'm going to guess that they were kind of naive and had no idea what being a part of the show would entail (especially if the kids didn't grow up watching tv themselves). It's a little hard to tell, but maybe John David simply isn't all that interested in getting married and supporting a wife and children just yet. I agree with the others upthread who said that probably not too many ATI guys want to get involved with being on a reality tv show and having Jim Bob and Michelle as inlaws.

[fluttershies]

I do wonder if the Duggars are really ATI royalty or if they are less popular amongst fundies now for being on TV.

[chiccy]

I think girls will be more amenable to marrying into the Duggar family than boys, specifically because of the show. It seems like it could kind of be a threat to the guy's fundie concept of manliness to tag along with a show about the GIRL'S family. Whereas girls (like Anna) are happy to do whatever their headship wants them to do, including being on his show.

[ohpotteryourotter]

I agree that the show is likely chasing away potential (serious) suitors. If there are some still around, we don't see them, since they're probably at all the ATI conferences and whatnot. I'd be very surprised if there were any girls waiting for JD or Joseph, too, because of the show.

One of the things that has bothered me about the show is that the kids seem to be treated as a unit, preventing any of the older kids from leaving. Hell, Josh can't even move very far away; he and Anna and their kids are stuck on the show too. I don't think that if Josh wanted to and was able to move, he wouldn't be allowed to and TLC would get pissed off at him. I bet after the show ends, all the rest of the adult kids will be married off and out of the house fairly quickly. And once Josiah or Joy hit 18 they'll run for the hills.

Josiah definitely seems to me like the Duggar who is least interested in the whole lifestyle they are living and he's just waiting for the second he can get away as fast as possible.

[J-Watcher]

I do wonder if the Duggars are really ATI royalty or if they are less popular amongst fundies now for being on TV.

Bingo! The hardcore ATI fundies do not approve of the Duggars' worldly lifestyle, and don't want their sons marrying young women who aren't utterly submissive and fundy-thinking. Between that and the fact the 4 eldest girls have gotten used to a lot of material comfort and relative freedom by ATI standards, and are legal adults with major name/face recognition that can be translated into income, I'd be surprised if any of them actually marry a serious ATI "headship" guy. And with the colossal amount of time all of them have spent doing substitute mother duty for the long parade of babies/toddlers/children, I seriously doubt that any of them are anxious to start having babies of their own, which they'd of course be expected/coerced to do immediately if they married an ATI headship guy. Remember, Michelle was the baby of her family -- she never took care of younger siblings, so the idea of having and caring for a big crowd of little ones was new and exciting for her. For Jana/Jil/Jessa/Jinger, it's definitely "been there, done that".

[ohpotteryourotter]

Bingo! The hardcore ATI fundies do not approve of the Duggars' worldly lifestyle, and don't want their sons marrying young women who aren't utterly submissive and fundy-thinking. Between that and the fact the 4 eldest girls have gotten used to a lot of material comfort and relative freedom by ATI standards, and are legal adults with major name/face recognition that can be translated into income, I'd be surprised if any of them actually marry a serious ATI "headship" guy. And with the colossal amount of time all of them have spent doing substitute mother duty for the long parade of babies/toddlers/children, I seriously doubt that any of them are anxious to start having babies of their own, which they'd of course be expected/coerced to do immediately if they married an ATI headship guy. Remember, Michelle was the baby of her family -- she never took care of younger siblings, so the idea of having and caring for a big crowd of little ones was new and exciting for her. For Jana/Jil/Jessa/Jinger, it's definitely "been there, done that".

I also seriously doubt any of the girls will marry into Fundie Royalty. If they do get married, it will be into a lesser known family and one that they are fairly close with and have known a while.