20 Reasons not to snark fundies

[formergothardite]

By John Piper, who doesn't seem to get that he is a fundie.

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/2 ... mentalists

1. They are humble and respectful and courteous and even funny (the ones I've met

Not the one's I've met.

2. They believe in truth

So do people who think the government is run by aliens. Doesn't make it any less snarkworthy.

7. They put obedience to Jesus above the approval of man (even though they fall short, like others).

Usually don't.

10. Their "social action" is helping the person next door (like Jesus), which doesn't usually get written up in the newspaper.

As long as the person next door is just like them.

11. They tend to raise law-abiding, chaste children, in spite of the fact that Barna says evangelical kids in general don't have any better track record than non-Christians.

Pay no attention to facts, right.

[ladypuglover]

10. Their "social action" is helping the person next door (like Jesus), which doesn't usually get written up in the newspaper.

No, they have their womin folk write about it their blogs.

12. They resist trendiness.

13. They don’t think too much is gained by sounding hip.

Have you not read these fundy blogs? :?

14. They may not be hip, but they don’t go so far as to drive buggies or insist on typewriters.

Not yet.

15. They still sing hymns.

I know athiest who enjoy singing hymns for the beauty of the song.

19. My dad was one.

Well my dad was an abusive arshole athiest** who knew the bible better than almost all the fundies I know. Should I be an abusive arshole athiest too just because my dad was?

** My father being an athiest had nothing to do with him being abusive or an arshole and I am aware of that. He just happened to be all 3. :(

[Terrie]

14. They may not be hip, but they don’t go so far as to drive buggies or insist on typewriters.

Huh. Is that the measuring tool we're using now? Or is it okay to potshots at the Amish while explaining why you shouldn't taking potshots at fundies?

ETA: Riffle

[clibbyjo]

My eyes rolled so hard they are now on the floor and refuse to come back after reading that drivel. :dance:

[Sparkle]

...3 of the reasons are based on non/trendiness? Obviously some of the younger SAHD blogs have evaded him. Come on...there's "modern modest" clothing styles!

Also-they may not be using buggies or typewriters, but isn't one of the bragging points for some fundies is being "natural" & DIY? (I'm totally for all of that, personally, but I'm not trying to make myself seem better than the Amish.)

[dramallama]

John Piper is an asshat.

[chiccy]

Huh. Is that the measuring tool we're using now? Or is it okay to potshots at the Amish while explaining why you shouldn't taking potshots at fundies?

ETA: Riffle

Oh my God, Amish FTW! I'll take the Amish over fundies any day.

Incidentally, does anyone remember the Duggars episode when they visit an Amish family, and Jim Bob keeps saying things like, "We don't watch TV either! We're just like you!" (all very sincerely, of course). The Amish try to be polite and are like, "Umm...yeah."

[emmiedahl]

Wasn't Dougie singing the praises of typewriters just last week?

[debrand]

11. They tend to raise law-abiding, chaste children, in spite of the fact that Barna says evangelical kids in general don't have any better track record than non-Christians.

In order to keep those kids pure, the parents have to hide them from any outside influence. If their children are around other children, they are chaperoned to prevent them from having nonapproved contact.

It isn't as if the children made a conscious decision to not have sex. The parents decided for their children and made damn sure their kids would not be able to made a different decision.

I don't see how that is praise worthy.

[mnb357]

Seriously? After reading that it's like shooting fish in a barrel...especially the buggy comment.

[Nothing2CHere]

Wasn't Dougie singing the praises of typewriters just last week?

I was going to bring this up, too.

[chiccy]

I like #19, "My dad was [a fundie]." A little desperate to fill out your list, maybe, John?

And #2, "They believe in truth." This makes perfect sense. You see, it's truth, not fact. Evolution is fact, but Creationism is truth.

[Buzzard]

20 Reasons to Snark on Fundies

1 - Their complete inability to think rationally about anything. Circular arguments are required.

2 - They think everyone else is damned yet they damn their own children by refusing to allow them opportunities to achieve what "god" had in store for them.

3 - They treat their women as lesser than men

4 - They treat their girls as lesser than boys

5 - They blog about the dumbest shit.

6 - They blog to compete with eachother yet pride is ebil

7 - They give money they dont have to preachers and organizations that have little credibility other than being "godly"

8 - Men cannot control their dicks

9 - Women are held responsible for a man's inability to control his dick

10 - The Pearls

11 - They shelter their children from the world but are unable to shelter them from their own hatred and ignorance.

12 - The way they "cook"

13 - They believe everyone that questions them in the slightest is PERSECUTING them and they are therefore awesome because they are a martyr.

14 - Frumpers and modest swim wear

15 - They post awesome pictures that need to be captioned in lolcat voice

16 - The KJV is not the end all and be all.

17 - Because they come to FJ and try and defend their asinine statements

18 - Bless your heart and other awesome fuck you phrases

19 - Because they accept that god made us all perfectly and to his plan... yet some of us that are "different" are clearly evil... like teh gayz

20 - Because its fucking fun

[nomi]

:clap: good list Buzzard!

[debrand]

[.

They believe that the Bible is true, all of it.

What Christian denomination does not believe the Bible is true? They might believe that parts of the bible were written specifically for their time period but they still believe it is true. Following the bible exactly as it was written would mean stoning nonvirgins.

I realized that I should add, being true to me doesn't always mean literal . A metaphor can be true, for example. Some people view the creation story as a parable, not literal history. However, they still find truth in the story.

9. They believe in heaven and sing about how good it will be to go there.

What the hell? So do liberal churches.

16. They are not breathless about being accepted in the scholarly guild

I am not certain what scholarly guide that he means. However, fundies do tend to dislike intellectual thought. I don't see that as admirable though.

20. Everybody to my left thinks I am one. And there are a lot of people to my left

I feel like playing the fundie version of, You might be a redneck. If everyone is to the left of you, you might be a fundie.

[clibbyjo]

20 Reasons to Snark on Fundies

1 - Their complete inability to think rationally about anything. Circular arguments are required.

2 - They think everyone else is damned yet they damn their own children by refusing to allow them opportunities to achieve what "god" had in store for them.

3 - They treat their women as lesser than men

4 - They treat their girls as lesser than boys

5 - They blog about the dumbest shit.

6 - They blog to compete with eachother yet pride is ebil

7 - They give money they dont have to preachers and organizations that have little credibility other than being "godly"

8 - Men cannot control their dicks

9 - Women are held responsible for a man's inability to control his dick

10 - The Pearls

11 - They shelter their children from the world but are unable to shelter them from their own hatred and ignorance.

12 - The way they "cook"

13 - They believe everyone that questions them in the slightest is PERSECUTING them and they are therefore awesome because they are a martyr.

14 - Frumpers and modest swim wear

15 - They post awesome pictures that need to be captioned in lolcat voice

16 - The KJV is not the end all and be all.

17 - Because they come to FJ and try and defend their asinine statements

18 - Bless your heart and other awesome fuck you phrases

19 - Because they accept that god made us all perfectly and to his plan... yet some of us that are "different" are clearly evil... like teh gayz

20 - Because its fucking fun

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[GolightlyGrrl]

20 Reasons to Snark on Fundies

1 - Their complete inability to think rationally about anything. Circular arguments are required.

2 - They think everyone else is damned yet they damn their own children by refusing to allow them opportunities to achieve what "god" had in store for them.

3 - They treat their women as lesser than men

4 - They treat their girls as lesser than boys

5 - They blog about the dumbest shit.

6 - They blog to compete with eachother yet pride is ebil

7 - They give money they dont have to preachers and organizations that have little credibility other than being "godly"

8 - Men cannot control their dicks

9 - Women are held responsible for a man's inability to control his dick

10 - The Pearls

11 - They shelter their children from the world but are unable to shelter them from their own hatred and ignorance.

12 - The way they "cook"

13 - They believe everyone that questions them in the slightest is PERSECUTING them and they are therefore awesome because they are a martyr.

14 - Frumpers and modest swim wear

15 - They post awesome pictures that need to be captioned in lolcat voice

16 - The KJV is not the end all and be all.

17 - Because they come to FJ and try and defend their asinine statements

18 - Bless your heart and other awesome fuck you phrases

19 - Because they accept that god made us all perfectly and to his plan... yet some of us that are "different" are clearly evil... like teh gayz

20 - Because its fucking fun

Great list, Buzzard. But only 20?

[Eclipse]

20 Reasons to Snark on Fundies

1 - Their complete inability to think rationally about anything. Circular arguments are required.

2 - They think everyone else is damned yet they damn their own children by refusing to allow them opportunities to achieve what "god" had in store for them.

3 - They treat their women as lesser than men

4 - They treat their girls as lesser than boys

5 - They blog about the dumbest shit.

6 - They blog to compete with eachother yet pride is ebil

7 - They give money they dont have to preachers and organizations that have little credibility other than being "godly"

8 - Men cannot control their dicks

9 - Women are held responsible for a man's inability to control his dick

10 - The Pearls

11 - They shelter their children from the world but are unable to shelter them from their own hatred and ignorance.

12 - The way they "cook"

13 - They believe everyone that questions them in the slightest is PERSECUTING them and they are therefore awesome because they are a martyr.

14 - Frumpers and modest swim wear

15 - They post awesome pictures that need to be captioned in lolcat voice

16 - The KJV is not the end all and be all.

17 - Because they come to FJ and try and defend their asinine statements

18 - Bless your heart and other awesome fuck you phrases

19 - Because they accept that god made us all perfectly and to his plan... yet some of us that are "different" are clearly evil... like teh gayz

20 - Because its fucking fun

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

This.

Plus this is how you create a list that actually argues a point unlike the original that conveys that the author doesn't understand what an argument is or how to convey a point.

[chiccy]

16. They are not breathless about being accepted in the scholarly guild

That's because they could never be. I'm sure if the "scholarly guild" accepted them, they'd be all over it.

[sugaree]

Number 20 should be number 1.

[Terrie]

What Christian denomination does not believe the Bible is true? They might believe that parts of the bible were written specifically for their time period but they still believe it is true. Following the bible exactly as it was written would mean stoning nonvirgins.

I suspect that in his mind truth= literal, infallible and inerrant.

[2xx1xy1JD]

"8. They believe in hell and are loving enough to warn people about it."

I actually burst out laughing at this one. I mean, really? I'm not supposed to snark at someone telling me "you're all going to hell" because they are LOVING?

Anyway, nobody is snarking about religious people doing good things. The snark is generally about people who claim to be religious who are actually promoting racism, homophobia, sexism or any other form of hatred, intolerance or discrimination. Promoting stuff that is actually dangerous, trying to shove your religion down someone else's throat and failing to care for your children is also snark-worthy.

[Future Teacher]

8. They believe in hell and are loving enough to warn people about it.

Oh yes they are so loving telling people us if we don't conform to their beliefs we'll go to hell. :roll:

[emmiedahl]

20 Reasons to Snark on Fundies

1. They choose to ignore all parts of the Bible that do not support their own personal beliefs while placing extreme emphasis on verses that allow them to subjugate and degrade others.

2. They are raising ill-educated children with little prospect of future success or ability to relate to others.

3. They will reject even the most obvious proven truth if it gets in the way of their personal beliefs.

4. They will only help others if the other is a good Christian by their very narrow definition and also, only if they have their ironing and email caught up (looking at you Lady Lydia).

5. They believe that their responsibility to their children ends with birth and a few beatings.

6. They are determined to pull the US back into an era when life for most people was dangerous and miserable.

7. They oppose any positive change, anywhere, ever.

8. They are convinced they know better than anyone else, even God, who is going to Hell and they are NOT afraid to share this opinion.

9. They actively teach hatred of anyone outside their tiny worldview.

10. They put obedience to Paul, a man who never met Jesus and was likely misquoted, above obedience to God, Jesus, and common sense.

11. Their children grow up to either despise their beliefs or despise others.

12. Their music, writing and art are appalling.

13. They despise education, free thought, compassion and all that is Right and Good.

14. They get so caught up in religious holier-than-thouing that they forget to actually be good people.

15. They believe in faking happiness, which gives them significant influence over people who otherwise might not be lured into their miserable lifestyle.

16. Zsuzsu.

17. They deny the glaring contradictions in the Bible and insist that they are simply not there.

18. They will twist and lie about the Bible in order to meet their personal political ends (abortion for example).

19. Their men are so weak that a glimpse of ankle is an occasion of sin.

20. They would not stop doing any of the above if God Himself came down and told them to stop.

[AudreyE]

I suspect that in his mind truth= literal, infallible and inerrant.

See, I would list that under outstanding reasons we SHOULD be snarking these people, because every Bible scholar out there (except a few hold-out fundies) will tell you that there are tons of irreconcilable conflicts with the Bible, and it's simply impossible that it's all 100% God-spoken fact.