Sherry at "be a living sacrifice" strikes again!

[Buzzard]

Our favorite blog that pink puked on has a new "series" out blaming all problems on the weakminded women, of course. This model of intellect has given us such awesome posts as "the quiet game" and the "supermarket game" and has been absent from the blogosphere recently due to a really shitty year. Enjoy - but make sure your laptop is set to mute.

You have been warned

bealivingsacrifice.blogspot.com

Marriage Part 5: Are you emotionally divorced?

The first few paragraphs are really just lots of words strung together. Then you get to "The negative love cycle" DUM DUM DUM!

The Negative Love Cycle starts when a situation occurs and the husband responds in a way that hurts the wife’s feelings. Her feelings are usually hurt because she does not understand the way he is wired and so she can not comprehend what she could have done or said to cause his response. Because of the way she is wired, her heart naturally assumes that “he does not really love me, if he did he would not respond to me this wayâ€. Each time this happens a part of her heart involuntarily closes toward him, like a built in defense mechanism to shield her from future pain. Because she feels unloved by him, she withdraws emotionally and physically.

Round and round the cycle goes, misunderstanding after misunderstanding, hurt after hurt, year after year!

After many years of this the wife’s heart can become totally closed toward her husband. She then may realize that she has no feelings of love for him at all, which can make it almost impossible to love him physically. She may be able to continue in her marriage and say and do all the right things, fooling everyone around her... maybe even her husband who may have no idea what has happened. But in reality she is just going through the motions, doing what she knows she should do, but in her heart there is no emotional connection to her husband. At this point she has become... EMOTIONALLY DIVORCED.

Eventually because she has withdrawn from his physical affection over and over, she has set him up for intense immoral temptations. He has grown very angry and resentful toward her, he does not understand how, but somehow he has lost her heart . At this point both have endured so much pain and rejection from each other that they feel there is no hope.

So the weak minded woman misunderstands something her "wired" husband says and instead of saying "fuckwad, you hurt my feelings" she withdraws into her little shell knitting diapers and making stew. Instead of speaking and addressing the issues she denies him his rightful nightly roll in the hay causing more "misunderstandings" (without confrontation) which result in more denials until he just cant help himself and bones the church secretary. Its all her fault.

The solution? DO YOUR DUTY and spread your legs!

Meeting her husband’s needs is the woman's great role that God literally designed her for. This should give us great fulfillment when we understand how much men need us and that that is God’s greatest purpose for creating us.

Dear Sherry, bite me.

[DCmilly]

Her feelings are usually hurt because she does not understand the way he is wired and so she can not comprehend what she could have done or said to cause his response. Because of the way she is wired, her heart naturally assumes that “he does not really love me, if he did he would not respond to me this wayâ€. Each time this happens a part of her heart involuntarily closes toward him, like a built in defense mechanism to shield her from future pain. Because she feels unloved by him, she withdraws emotionally and physically.

I wonder if she realizes that most people in committed relationships are not manbots and fembots "wired" to act in certain ways under certain circumstances. They are individual people with individual feelings, emotions and personalities. Couples sometimes have differences or communication problems. Even couples in solid relationships and marriages have such differences (unless one party is a doormat with no opinions or feelings) and the more committed and stronger couples work through these differences. I find that the fact that she reduces individuals in a relationship as committed as marriage into gender stereotypes acting out based on some sort of biological algorithm to be really offensive.

[browngrl]

She would have a lot less time to widget about this sort of stuff if she had a job or hobby or some activity outside the home . It is a lot easier to put things in perspective if you actually have the space to have a perspective. If all you see is homemaking and husband; your world is so small that every little thing becomes a big deal.

[Elle]

Jesus Christ.

This is using sex as a punishment for the woman. A woman isn't supposed to say anything that could threaten her husband's manliness, so she's wrong if she feels he's not loving her. So she should just shut up and let him have his way with her.

How does this solve anything?

[Buzzard]

Why is it so wrong to say "what you said upset me!?" Why can you NEVER question your husband, even when it hurts you? The fact that this woman is spewing this shit and expects her daughter to live this life of smiles and tea parties makes me ill. She's nothing more than an overgrown child with a zillion kids and a blog.

Have you read her husbands tripe? Its the biblicists blog, theres a link on her page. He sounds like an ass.

[Austin]

Why is it so wrong to say "what you said upset me!?" Why can you NEVER question your husband, even when it hurts you? The fact that this woman is spewing this shit and expects her daughter to live this life of smiles and tea parties makes me ill. She's nothing more than an overgrown child with a zillion kids and a blog.

Have you read her husbands tripe? Its the biblicists blog, theres a link on her page. He sounds like an ass.

Saying what's on your mind is crucial to having an honest relationship, the only type worth having. I'd rather be alone than be in any of these women's marriages.

[debrand]

The woman has no rights, not even to her own emotions or sexual needs. This type of thinking turns marriage into a type of prostitution.

When my husband was stationed in Korea, he was told that some men hired women to be their 'wives'. I don't see how Sherry is any different than those women. She cooks, cleans and has sex on demand. Her own feelings do not matter. It is very nearly a business transaction except prostitutes can walk away from the agreement. Sherry is stuck because of her religion.

Why would any parent want this life for their children?

Remember... the wife has been given great power, she holds the key to her husband’s heart, if she learns to use her power correctly, the way God has intended, she can inspire and motivate him to reach great heights, she can literally make or break him and his future, and ultimately, her families future. How will we use our power, for good or evil?

Everything that happens is on the woman's shoulders.

I wonder what Sherry's married life has been like? Has she had to hide her own feelings and swallow her pride?

[debrand]

This is from another article of Sherry's entitled, Is Your Husband Really First?

few of these "Blind Spots" were in my relationship with my husband. In these areas my husband had slipped out of the first place in my life and I had put myself first instead. I truly did not realize this until the Lord showed me...and my heart ached over my sin of selfishness.

Somehow it is so easy to let our dear husbands slip out of first place in our lives, it is something we wives must be so careful to guard against! Remember, our relationship to our husband runs parallel to our relationship with the Lord...if our husband does not have first place in any area...the Lord does not have first place in that area either!

That quote saddens me and frustrates me. If she wasn't passing such misery to her children, I would feel more pity for her. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself or even putting yourself first occasionally.

You need to humble yourself and apologize to him and tell him the areas you are going to work on so he knows that you are aware of these areas and are trying to change them. This is also a good time to ask him if there are any other areas that you need to change. This is so important that he knows your heart and that you are trying to make changes for his benefit, and that you want to please him and keep him first in your life. This will go a long way toward increasing a sweet and tender love relationship together!

How depressing. She not only has to punish herself for not thinking about her husband every hour but she needs to go and confess this fault that he probably didn't even know she had. What drives a woman to humiliate herself like this?

[Olivia]

Huh, maybe my husband doesn't have the manly wiring, because he rarely hurts my feelings (through me misunderstanding him, of course, no fault of his own ever, because we all know the Spiritual Leader makes no mistakes). And when he does, we're able to communicate about it and speedily forgive each other and move on. Weird.

This woman's life seems so sad.

[Buzzard]

Huh, maybe my husband doesn't have the manly wiring, because he rarely hurts my feelings (through me misunderstanding him, of course, no fault of his own ever, because we all know the Spiritual Leader makes no mistakes). And when he does, we're able to communicate about it and speedily forgive each other and move on. Weird.

This woman's life seems so sad.

You prideful bitch! You question your headship?!?! To the prayer closet!

[debrand]

You prideful bitch! You question your headship?!?! To the prayer closet!

I have to go also. :cry: My husband has a sarcastic sense of humor. Over the years, I have had to inform him that he has accidentally hurt my feelings or gone to far with his humor. He always responds with a sincere apology. Of course, I have sex with him because I want to and not because I need to support his ego. We are both probably messed up and need Sherry's lessons.

Note to Sherry(just in case she comes here) Real love needs respect for its base. If your husband truely loved you, he would be alarmed when you confessed not putting yourself first. He would have told you that he didn't need to be your idol to adore. The fact that he didn't stop you from demeaning yourself means that he doesn't respect you. For goodness sakes, grow a pair of ovaries and stop teaching other women how to create their own misery through being a doormat.

edited to tell Sherry to grow a pair of ovaries

[Buzzard]

I have to wonder, does she REALLY think what's she's writing? Is this just some fucked up way of convincing yourself that this is the right way, kind of how bashing gays loudly is a characteristic of self loathing if you have gay tendencies? God, she has daughters but she also has sons... They hear this shit. What does that do to a young man seeing their mother struggle to make herself pretty and silent. She's fucking up an entire generation...

[deelaem]

She should write a book! My suggestion for a title would be - "How to Enable a Patriarchal Dickblister For Dummies".

[Sola]

Isn't she the one who makes her kids dress up in stripy victorian style nightshirts and caps at Christmas? Even the teenage boys?

Fruit loop. Absolute fruit loop.

[Buzzard]

Isn't she the one who makes her kids dress up in stripy victorian style nightshirts and caps at Christmas? Even the teenage boys?

Fruit loop. Absolute fruit loop.

Yup! And her marriage age daughter is obsessed with cartoon musicals (and Charles dickens). She has absolutely no concept of reality. The stupid burns brightly with this family.

[super skeptic]

It's so painfully obvious that this mom has some, um, issues with reality. She tries really hard to live in some imaginary past era (as if Victorians would have dressed up their houses in frilly pink stuff, ugh) and then imposes those tastes on her children. Well, it's probably not so weird for the kids since that's all they know. Once they grow up they might realize how different they are. The dad is prefectly content to live in the Pepto Bismol Palace as long as he has a submissive wife and army of followers who agree with everything he thinks.

[Sola]

Yup! And her marriage age daughter is obsessed with cartoon musicals (and Charles dickens). She has absolutely no concept of reality. The stupid burns brightly with this family.

Frankly, making those teenage boys - well young men - dress like that is bloody ridiculous! Can you imagine what it will be like when those boys get into the real world, as they will have to do to support a family of their own?

I can just imagine what my son's response would be if I told him to dress up like that!

[Jezebel]

It's so painfully obvious that this mom has some, um, issues with reality. She tries really hard to live in some imaginary past era (as if Victorians would have dressed up their houses in frilly pink stuff, ugh) and then imposes those tastes on her children. Well, it's probably not so weird for the kids since that's all they know. Once they grow up they might realize how different they are. The dad is prefectly content to live in the Pepto Bismol Palace as long as he has a submissive wife and army of followers who agree with everything he thinks.

She's like a younger, more prosperous Lady Lydia, minus the dementia ward-level craft projects.

[nomi]

Wow, that sounds a lot like my former marriage except I just drugged myself to the point of drooling so that I could put up with his crap.

One month out and I'm happier than I've ever been. Emotionally divorced my ass, emotionally (and sexually) abused is more like it.

[jesssnerch]

The music on her site needs to go.

[mnb357]

Do I have the courage to brave her site? My dumbass quota is about filled for the month.

[clover_leigh]

I really feel for her daughter. Free Alexandra! And the younger ones too if they're still subjected to this when they get Ally's age.

[Beammeup]

The music on her site needs to go.

Is there ANY way to kill that player? A Firefox ad on or something?

Also, her tagging system needs work.

Also Hi! LTLFTP. I promise to not be an idiot. :geek:

[mirele]

Isn't her husband the one that sneaks off to Cuba to evangelize?

[CanadianHippie]

How does this solve anything?

Simple, it doesn't. It's the classic "if I ignore it it will go away". Woman needs to be willing to say "you hurt me" and man needs to be willing to listen and acknowledge and they both need to be willing to work it out together.