Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! My cousin lives in Duggar Central!

[Hane]

I recently got together with a cousin of mine whom I hadn't seen in years. He now lives in northwest Arkansas, and is a real estate lawyer for Walmart. (We're both native New Yorkers, born and raised Catholic, but no longer observant. Cue the snark about culture shock and the Bible Belt.)

 

I asked him about women going around in denim jumpers, and he said it wasn't an uncommon sight. He said the Duggars were a big deal around there, and that, when he first moved there, NOTHING was open on Sundays, because EVERYONE was at church. Mr. Snark seems to have sipped a bit of the Kool-Aid, because he mentioned several times how NICE everyone was down there, and didn't think it odd that Chick-Fil-A observed the Sabbath.

 

I would have gotten all in his NYC-law-school-educated face about Dominionism, and pumped him more about fundies, but we were at the luncheon following his mother's funeral.

 

ETA that he told us he'd never seen so many pregnant unmarried Caucasian girls in his life--because it's obviously "slutty" to "plan" to have sex by getting contraception in advance, and having an abortion would make you a "murderer."

[Elle]

Since fundies beat it (literally) into their kids to "Keep sweet," at least on the outside, it wouldn't surprise me if everyone seems nice. It's behind your back they're cursing you to hell. And I'm more surprised Chick-Fil-A is open on Sundays anywhere with as religious as the company is, and I don't mean in a subtle way like In-N-Out. As far as I know, In-N-Out hasn't been donating to anti-gay funds, just posting a small bible verse, and not even the text, on their packaging in places inconspicuous enough that many people don't realize it.

[duchess0592]

Since fundies beat it (literally) into their kids to "Keep sweet," at least on the outside, it wouldn't surprise me if everyone seems nice. It's behind your back they're cursing you to hell. And I'm more surprised Chick-Fil-A is open on Sundays anywhere with as religious as the company is, and I don't mean in a subtle way like In-N-Out. As far as I know, In-N-Out hasn't been donating to anti-gay funds, just posting a small bible verse, and not even the text, on their packaging in places inconspicuous enough that many people don't realize it.

it’s not open on Sundays where I live and while I always seem to want a chicken sandwich(no pickle of course)on Sunday I don't mind them closing. That is their value and their choice. They are my favorite fast food place and they are amazingly nice. I can’t say the same for McDonalds, in my area there are so rude it almost makes you not want to buy their food.

[Didi]

I've never seen a Chick Fil A open on a sunday...

I think in general southern people and Bible belt people (which often overlap ;)) are nicer/sweeter in public than northern people. Every time we go to North Carolina we feel happy when we go to walmart 'cause people are nice *laugh*

[Grace]

People really ARE nice in Northwest Arkansas, I swear :) And it's not because keeping sweet has been beaten into all their heads. Fayetteville is just as full of hippies as Conservative Christians. I have a multitude of friends who I would consider to be pretty lax in the discipline department when it comes to their kids and it shows. But I have lived way up North and down in Arkansas both and my experience has been that people in general are nicer down here.

As for Chic-Fil-A...it isn't open on Sundays and neither is Hobby Lobby. But they never have been and there are a lot of other choices for fast food (blech) and a few other craft store choices as well if you just HAVE to have something on a Sunday. If they want to honor the Sabbath as a company policy, that's their business and it's no skin off my nose. (their other business practices, not so much. but this one doesn't bug me) I used to work in retail and it would have been nice to have even that little bit of consistency to my schedule by having a set day off every week.

Even if you had pumped him for info about fundies or dominionism he probably wouldn't have anything to share. The Duggars are generally just considered to be a little odd and extra conservative Christians around here as far as my experience goes. I haven't met very many people have even ever heard of Gothard or ATI etc.

[Swamptribe]

Since fundies beat it (literally) into their kids to "Keep sweet," at least on the outside, it wouldn't surprise me if everyone seems nice. It's behind your back they're cursing you to hell. And I'm more surprised Chick-Fil-A is open on Sundays anywhere with as religious as the company is, and I don't mean in a subtle way like In-N-Out. As far as I know, In-N-Out hasn't been donating to anti-gay funds, just posting a small bible verse, and not even the text, on their packaging in places inconspicuous enough that many people don't realize it.

Kind of off topic/// One of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition is "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife." There's several versions right here on Earth too. Know that in Russian culture the saying goes something "somebody who smiles all the time is an idiot". I never trust anyone who smiles constantly.

I've grown up in the South. Southern people may be outwardly nicer, but they are also real quick to stab you behind the back. It's not that they are nicer, it's that there is a front put on of seeming nicer.

Now, Canadians are just out and out more polite.

(quick edit, before y'all can tease the hell out of me)

[Alecto]

I avoid Chik-fil-a for their policies involving gays and lesbians... we call it intolerance chicken in Central Arkansas.

[lilwriter85]

The last time I ate at a Chick Fil was a couple of years ago. I was driving my aunt around town and she wanted to eat at Chick Fil A, so we stopped and ate there. I avoid that place.

[Rachel333]

As a NWA native, I do think people are genuinely nice there, and I'm slightly offended by the suggestion that thinking that means you've sipped the Kool-Aid.

I also don't see anything wrong with closing on Sunday. If they want to do that, that's their business and it's not hurting me or anyone else (it does occasionally irritate me that I can't buy alcohol on Sunday, though; if an individual business wanted to do that, fine, but I don't like that it's a state-wide law). I avoid Chic-Fil-A because of their other policies that do hurt other people, not because they're closed on Sunday.

There are plenty of frustrating things about living in Arkansas, but I do really like Fayetteville. I know the rest of NWA is more conservative, but I still wouldn't consider it a hotbed of fundamentalism.

Kind of off topic/// One of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition is "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife." There's several versions right here on Earth too. Know that in Russian culture the saying goes something "somebody who smiles all the time is an idiot". I never trust anyone who smiles constantly.

Really? I think smiling is just part of our culture. When I travel I don't assume that everyone is being rude because they aren't smiling (though I think a lot of Southerners do), so why can't the reverse apply? Smiling a lot is what we do, it doesn't mean that we're all stupid or secretly all backstabbers.

[Beb]

Sorry, OP, you're misinformed. I was born and raised in NWA, moved out west, moved back to AR and lived there 8 years; just recently moved back west.

When I lived in AR the past 8 years, I can tell you for certainty the Duggars are NOT a big deal there, and you'd think they would be because not many large fundie families such as theirs live in NWA. In fact, although there are the more fundie types occasionally, I rarely saw frumpers. Did see lots of revealing clothing and in some ways a pretty progressive lifestyle among many.

Rogers, Bentonville--some of the best schools in the country. Fayetteville--did lots of hanging out on Dickson Street taking in the great music and other fun.. Eureka Springs--wonderful and beautiful cultrural litttle place.

I think the OP's WM transplanted relative is operating from a preconceived notion.

Speaking of which, my sister used to have a career at the Benton County Courthouse many years ago when NWA began to have their population explosion. Many moving in were coming there from the Northeast, East, and/or Northern US. So often, these people would have occasion to be in the courthouse for land, tax, and other legal issues, and invariably they would complain about the very thing that brought them to NWA--it's small-town uniqueness. It was "Back East, blah, blah, blah."

So my sis began to say, "Well, who is dumber, these hillbillies here who sold you their land at an inflated price (according to you), or YOU who moved here and bought it?"

Great place to live, and after visiting NYC many times, I might add that many people living in NY are so accustomed to being just there and not having to go anywhere else, that they've rarely traveled the US and incredibly seem rather insulated.

Is that a gneralization? Maybe, but no more so than the ridiculousness of the OP post.

Oh yes, and people ARE very nice in the South (and in NWA).

[bananacat]

I've never seen a Chick Fil A open on a sunday...

I think in general southern people and Bible belt people (which often overlap ;)) are nicer/sweeter in public than northern people. Every time we go to North Carolina we feel happy when we go to walmart 'cause people are nice *laugh*

I think Southerners may be more superficially polite, but I do not agree that they are nicer or sweeter. They'll just judge you and stab you in the back with a smile on their face instead of a scowl.

[gustava]

Born/raised Southern, both city and mountains. Lived in the Nawth and the West. Southerners are outwardly more friendly, except in the deep mountains, where we tend to be a tad suspicious if you weren't born and raised in these mountains.

Yankees were actually rather nice, even though they looked at my southern friendliness a bit askance. When I would ask for subway directions in NYC, if I asked the wrong person, s/he would help me find the right person to ask.

I was even friendly to NYC cops, who were friendly right back, perhaps because they were too surprised not to be.

My take is this: Large cities, with their noise and rush and frenzy, take a lot of personal energy, energy which we Suth'n folk use to be outwardly friendly.

One is not better than the other. It just is what it is.

[Kitchen Princess]

I recently got together with a cousin of mine whom I hadn't seen in years. He now lives in northwest Arkansas, and is a real estate lawyer for Walmart. (We're both native New Yorkers, born and raised Catholic, but no longer observant. Cue the snark about culture shock and the Bible Belt.)

I asked him about women going around in denim jumpers, and he said it wasn't an uncommon sight. He said the Duggars were a big deal around there, and that, when he first moved there, NOTHING was open on Sundays, because EVERYONE was at church. Mr. Snark seems to have sipped a bit of the Kool-Aid, because he mentioned several times how NICE everyone was down there, and didn't think it odd that Chick-Fil-A observed the Sabbath.

I would have gotten all in his NYC-law-school-educated face about Dominionism, and pumped him more about fundies, but we were at the luncheon following his mother's funeral. :oops:

ETA that he told us he'd never seen so many pregnant unmarried Caucasian girls in his life--because it's obviously "slutty" to "plan" to have sex by getting contraception in advance, and having an abortion would make you a "murderer."

I live in the same county he does. I never trust a New Yorker's opinion of Arkansas. Their confirmation bias is very strong. How long as he lived here? Walmart's been leading the way of being open on Sunday AND Christmas for about 15 years now.

ed for typo.

[Kitchen Princess]

I've been all over the country and I find the nicest people to be in the PNW and Colorado. People are nice in NYC, too, though, but in a different way. There are degrees of niceness. I was in NYC, walking down 11th Ave, and I saw a man walking a little dog. I thought the dog was cute, so I said something about it. He was completely taken aback and ignored me, so I kept walking. A few blocks later I was walking towards the West Side Highway, approaching some dudes outside the place where they store carriages (and horses! In a building!) for Central Park. They were just killing time, and one guy did a fake wind up and threw a "pitch" across the street. I called the pitch: "BALL!" and he started laughing and arguing with me about where the ball went.

Whether people are considered nice or not has a lot to do with context. Who doesn't want to talk about their cute dog? I guess that guy didn't feel obligated to talk to me about his dog, or he was busy thinking of his problems or maybe it was his wife's dog that he hated to walk. No skin off my teeth.

[Sola]

Kind of off topic/// One of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition is "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife." There's several versions right here on Earth too. Know that in Russian culture the saying goes something "somebody who smiles all the time is an idiot". I never trust anyone who smiles constantly.

I've grown up in the South. Southern people may be outwardly nicer, but they are also real quick to stab you behind the back. It's not that they are nicer, it's that there is a front put on of seeming nicer.

Now, Canadians are just out and out more polite.

(quick edit, before y'all can tease the hell out of me)

I think I might love you :D You know the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition! Come here and let me stroke your ears!

[BayLee_10]

All of NY is not NYC...just sayin'. The friendliest people I ever met live in Florida.

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't live in AR, but as a native southerner, I can tell you we are genuinely nice to everyone. You will always be asked if want something to drink and invited to stay for lunch/supper. The Ma'am/sir thing is very much a big thing even when addressing people in our own general age group, and we don't considering insulting or as a way of calling somebody old fart or old biddy. It's considered good manners. A gentleman will always open a door for a lady or offer his seat to her. Again we consider it good manners and not sexist, but this isn't just a gentleman only thing. Women will also open doors for others and give up her seat. When we say "bless your heart" it's either meant as a statement of sympathy or it could mean we think you just said something stupid. When we pass by somebody who has dropped something, we help them pick what they dropped. Frumpers and denim skirts are very common and not a fundie only thing. Oh, and as for the smiling and stabbing you in the back, that's for making fun of us and referring to us as dumb, uneducated hillbillies.