The Official Fundie Encounters Thread

[ShellyWelly]

Delurking to add my fundie encounter ... and because it *still* pisses me off.

Seven years ago my daughter passed away as an infant. Her obituary ran in the local paper. A week or two later, I got a tract in the mail from the Jehovah's Witnesses called "Finding Hope In Your Child's Death." I was SO mad. They actually trolled through the obituaries, then looked up my address in the phone book, and sent this to me at a time when I was emotionally fragile (to say the least) in an attempt to convert me! Talk about trying to take advantage of someone's grief! And the reason I know they went through the obituaries and then looked up my address in the phone book is because our street name changed, but it was never changed in the phone book ... so anyone that didn't know me personally but needed my address would put the wrong street name on the envelope (even addressed with the other street name, it would still be delivered).

It's a good think another Jehovah's Witness has never darkened my door step, because I'd have some very unkind words for them based on their crass attempt at proselytizing. :x

[Lady]

I used to work for a zoo and would see fundies like clockwork. During the busy season I'd say at least once a week, though there were probably more I didn't see because it was so crowded. And they weren't just Christian fundies, I saw Amish, Muslims, Jews, everyone.

[mschelseae]

also, I used to go to a First Assembly of God k-8 church school when I was young, it was required that we went to church during school on Wednesday morning, (sometimes we would be so "lost in God and the Holy Spirit" that Chapel would run into our school time, once I remember we spent an ENTIRE school day in Chapel and prayer :pray: ) then back again Wednesday night for "youth group" which was gender seggregated, IDK what the boys did, but the girls learned how to cook and I'm not even shitting you, how to be a godly wife, being so young I didn't realize what they we're trying to shove down my throat. They tried to force us to speak in tounges, and we were relentlessly questioned when we wouldn't/couldn't worship in tounges. I used to wake up every Sunday morning for ALL of the church services, then went back for the evening service. I also went out on Tuesday nights for "night strike" where we'd go into the slummy parts of town and "witness" and spread the love of Jesus. lol. :roll: Some of the places were really gross, and having gone back to visit when I was older I realized some of the places the church leaders took me were not the kind of places you should take a little kid.

I heard of many younger girls (like 18-25) courting, NOT dating, but courting. (I remember our pastor made an announcement one Sunday how one of the church royalty daughters was MOVING to Washington to court someone) It was drilled into our heads how everything was so bad and a sin, and how you weren't a virgin if you even THOUGHT about sex (I remember feeling very ashamed because by like 11 I had already discovered my bod)

We weren't allowed to use slang (especially the word Hecka, which comes from Hella, which is california slang for a lot) Girls had to wear a blackwitch plaid jumper, which was later relaxed to only wearing the dress for church.

The majority of the things we learned were from the Bible (biblical history, and world/us RELIGION history) We were forced to recite verses and books from the bible by memory or it would impact our grades. I went into highschool not even knowing how to write a structured report or essay, but I had some of the best grades in English/Lit at that school. :think:

In the 7th grade our "problems" within the class were solved by "Class Court" it was HUMILIATING, things that should have been dealt with privately were made public... I've never felt so much shame and humiliation anywhere else in my life. :oops: The school has a paddle board for discipline for christsake!! :shock:

They actually told me my mother was going to Hell for being gay, they made me feel like her sexuality was MY PROBLEM! I can't put it into words how they made me feel, but lets just say I was given "special attention" and that I had to be pulled out of class for "charecter training" and counseling (by just a nosy pastor wife, not a actual psychologist) Now I know this was just "lets pump her with all this southern baptist bullshit so she doesnt go gay!!" cuz obviously being gay is contagious.

One of my friends family was church royalty there, and she wasnt allowed to come to my house because of my mom, but I could go to hers, and something funny that happened when I was just getting to know her, was at 10 years old this girl (who couldnt come to my house cuz her fundie family was afraid of her catching the ebil gai disease) was pretty touchy-feely with me, demanded I sleep in her bed (which was queen sized to be fair) and got mad when I went to sleep on the floor.

Also in the 6th grade they employed a student teacher who (looking back) was a total creep. He made me very uncomfortable, he was always touching me, picking me up, taking my picture, or trying to play around with me and put me on his shoulders (he was suuuuuper tall). Which I thought was weird, becuase its not like I was a part of his family, and here is this grown man interacting with me in a very personal way. He was one of the people who would drive me and always was there with me when this church was doing Night Strike, and would always offer to drive me home when it would finish late at night. I havnt thought about that in a long time... :think:

I can't really remember if anything fishy went down, but all I remember was something just didnt set right with me. Maybe it was his long hair, my mom once dated a guy with long hair when I was very very very young (before she switched teams), I dont remember much about him but his long ponytail and how I vehemently did not like him, but I dont remember what he did to make me not like him so much.

anyway, I had a hard time with religion and when I graduated from there and went into a public highschool it was a huge culture shock. I pretty much denounced the whole religion thing because I felt so abused by the church/school. I just feel that religion is stupid, but I still believe in God. I just think the relationship between a person and his diety needs to be a private thing.

oh God this is so long! I just started writing, and I kept remembering more and more things that line up with fundie BS. BAH! I can't believe the thousands of dolla$$$$$ my mom wasted on a bullshit education. Wanna know how I though thunder was made? Clouds "bumping" into eachother. But I'll be damned if I can still recite scripture word for word. Yes I am 100% serious. That was my education. I'd make the SOTDRT suuuuper proud.

[No Fun My Babe]

OMG did you grow up where I grew up?! A really similar thing almost happened to me but in 2001 or so. I didn't think the guy was cool, but he kept talking to me because I was "outcast"y, too, and also liked similar music. One day, his mom rolled up (wearing a frumper in her giant fundie van with pro-life stickers) to bring him home and he was like, "Want to come by my place? We're having a prayer meeting and Bible study!" :shock:

That is freaky! To this day, I can't explain why I went to the bible studies, except while never religious, I was a lot more open back then. It was also very subtle initially and I have no doubt he/they managed to indoctrinate at least a few people.

I recall that his mother looked fairly normal though, just a "typical" looking mom.

This happened in Loudoun County, in VA. Did you grow up anywhere around there? Maybe there's a group of them! :shock:

ShellyWelly, I'm sorry for your loss. That is utterly revolting.

[Spider Burps]

That is freaky! To this day, I can't explain why I went to the bible studies, except while never religious, I was a lot more open back then. It was also very subtle initially and I have no doubt he/they managed to indoctrinate at least a few people.

I recall that his mother looked fairly normal though, just a "typical" looking mom.

This happened in Loudoun County, in VA. Did you grow up anywhere around there? Maybe there's a group of them! :shock:

This happened in Greenville County, SC (home of Bob Jones University), so I guess they weren't the same group of fundies! I suppose it must be some sort of hip youth tactic they're using--or maybe they see the little girls dressed in weird clothes and think that they're lonely enough to cling to anything with a pulse? Or that they're just wearing black because they've never met Jesus? I have no idea.

Have you ever seen the King of the Hill episode, "Reborn to Be Wild", where Bobby joins a youth group made up of skaters and punks? That episode reminds me of those weirdos we've met :lol:

[No Fun My Babe]

This happened in Greenville County, SC (home of Bob Jones University), so I guess they weren't the same group of fundies! I suppose it must be some sort of hip youth tactic they're using--or maybe they see the little girls dressed in weird clothes and think that they're lonely enough to cling to anything with a pulse? Or that they're just wearing black because they've never met Jesus? I have no idea.

Have you ever seen the King of the Hill episode, "Reborn to Be Wild", where Bobby joins a youth group made up of skaters and punks? That episode reminds me of those weirdos we've met :lol:

Ahhh! Fundies everywhere trying to blend in and recruit the outcasts! Scary stuff. Who knows their motives, except yeah, they probably think we must all be desperate and easily washed of the brain. Or maybe they get more bonus heaven points the gothier their recruits are?

I used to watch King of the Hill all the time, but I can't recall ever seeing that episode. Guess I know what I'll be watching tonight! :P

[weirdghostboo]

I saw a fundie family on a weekend up to Chicago from Normal with my friends. It was at Navy Pier. There were about 11 kids, with the eldest I'd say being about 17 and the youngest, maybe 5 or 6. They were around the giant rocking horse, and I reckon the younger two wanted to go up on it. Their parents said no and pretty much dragged them away. After that, my friend said that they belong in the 1850s. I snorted my lemonade out my nose.

[emmiedahl]

We weren't allowed to use slang (especially the word Hecka, which comes from Hella, which is california slang for a lot)

OT: Also from California, also say hella or hecka all the time. I noticed in WA no one uses it or even understands what I am saying.

[mschelseae]

OT: Also from California, also say hella or hecka all the time. I noticed in WA no one uses it or even understands what I am saying.

I'm ashamed to say hella is one of my default filler words... lol! but if I ever leave California, everyone looks at me with a :? face when I say it.

[meow139]

Delurking to add my fundie encounter ... and because it *still* pisses me off.

Seven years ago my daughter passed away as an infant. Her obituary ran in the local paper. A week or two later, I got a tract in the mail from the Jehovah's Witnesses called "Finding Hope In Your Child's Death." I was SO mad. They actually trolled through the obituaries, then looked up my address in the phone book, and sent this to me at a time when I was emotionally fragile (to say the least) in an attempt to convert me! Talk about trying to take advantage of someone's grief! And the reason I know they went through the obituaries and then looked up my address in the phone book is because our street name changed, but it was never changed in the phone book ... so anyone that didn't know me personally but needed my address would put the wrong street name on the envelope (even addressed with the other street name, it would still be delivered).

It's a good think another Jehovah's Witness has never darkened my door step, because I'd have some very unkind words for them based on their crass attempt at proselytizing. :x

Despicable. I'm so sorry that you had to go through loss and fundies, many a FJers worst nightmare. :|

[jaynie]

Delurking to add my fundie encounter ... and because it *still* pisses me off.

Seven years ago my daughter passed away as an infant. Her obituary ran in the local paper. A week or two later, I got a tract in the mail from the Jehovah's Witnesses called "Finding Hope In Your Child's Death." I was SO mad. They actually trolled through the obituaries, then looked up my address in the phone book, and sent this to me at a time when I was emotionally fragile (to say the least) in an attempt to convert me! Talk about trying to take advantage of someone's grief! And the reason I know they went through the obituaries and then looked up my address in the phone book is because our street name changed, but it was never changed in the phone book ... so anyone that didn't know me personally but needed my address would put the wrong street name on the envelope (even addressed with the other street name, it would still be delivered).

It's a good think another Jehovah's Witness has never darkened my door step, because I'd have some very unkind words for them based on their crass attempt at proselytizing. :x

That happened to my mother too. I think they actually phoned her, though (we have an uncommon enough surname that it would have been easy to look up). I don't know how they thought that would work. "Oh, hi, I hear your baby died, would you like to hear about our particular brand of religion?" It did not go over well.

Another fundie-lite woman my mother knew at the time thought it would be appropriate to express her sorrow that the baby was never baptized and would thus be burning in hell. My mum is, unfortunately, too kind to slap these people.

On a lighter note, I distinctly remember having an argument with a frumper-wearing girl in my elementary school about why she couldn't celebrate halloween, which I thought was awfully silly as it clearly had nothing to do with demons because demons are made up, and everything to do with dressing like a princess in class and eating lots of candy. I don't think she liked me very much.

[Georgiana]

A family that my family was close to when I was growing up was fundy and homeschooled (I suspect ATI, but I was too young to confirm). I went to private school, so sometimes we would have different holidays than the local public schools. During one of those holidays, I went over to their house to play. It was a beautiful day, so I suggested we play outside. They told me that they couldn't go outside until the school bus came by or people would think they didn't go to school and they would be arrested. This was what their parents told them. They were 6 and 8 years old! WHO is going to arrest a 6 or 8 year old?!? I told them that couldn't be true, after all, I played outside all the time when the public schools didn't have the day off, and no one ever questioned me. They told me I was lucky not to have been caught.

Also, their mom had their 8th sibling as a homebirth...in the summer...WHILE their house was undergoing a remodel. So basically there were construction people in her house as she gave birth with one of the walls missing in her bedroom!

I'm happy to report that although we lost touch with them after the homebirth, they did come out of their fundy-ism. All the kids went to at least public high school and the youngers went all the way through public school. The mom had enough sense to know when she couldn't reasonably educate her children anymore AND when she couldn't handle raising any more children. Neither of the older girls were ever sister-moms, and they are now both happily married to normal, non-fundy men.

[Kitty]

I think my only fundie encounter, outside of Brother Ross (if you've gone to college in NC you've probably heard of him, though he seems to mostly troll NCSU and UNCW) was at the beach last summer. But it was a lady with a whole bunch of kids (that I'm not sure were all hers) wearing a 1-piece bathing suit with a skirt, and a little lacy veil thing on her head. Nothing particularly interesting, and I hadn't discovered FJ yet.

[canela]

I had an odd encounter last summer. I was putting my luggage in the trunk of my car in a hotel parking lot in Albuquerque. I saw a 4 or five year old little girl in a pretty (if a little old fashioned) floral dress walk by. As I usually do when I see children, I smiled. She looked at me blankly and kept walking. Immediately after her came two or three older boys, the oldest of whom appeared to be around ten. I smiled again, but no response from them either. At that point, I noticed the boys all had on long sleeve dress shirts buttoned all the way up. I thought to myself, "Could it be?" Then I saw a stringy haired woman in a longish dark print dress come out. She was carrying a baby in a pink sleeper. My instinctual smile appeared, but she just looked at me with the saddest, dead looking eyes. By this point I was convinced they were fundies. Then I saw the dad. He was dressed just like the boys and had a very short, almost military style haircut. I'm sure he noticed I had smiled at his family. As he walked past me, he glared at me and I swear I felt hatred coming out of his eyes. I kept a level gaze until he looked away. While the mother made me sad, the father totally creeped me out. I don't remember more details of their looks, but I'm still haunted by the mother's empty eyes. When I look at pictures of PP's family, I kept thinking Zsu has eyes so like that woman it must have been her. I haven't read enough of their blog to know how often and to where they've travelled (and I know the number and ages of children I saw don't match up), but I like to tell myself that I possibly won a staring match against the PP.

[AnnieC 305]

Oh I have so many, but there is one I have to share.

Back when I was teaching we started out with just one very religious teacher, a very quiet man. Later on we somehow acquired three more which gave them the sense of strength in numbers. Also, this was a heavily Latino district, with easily 95% of our student population Latino immigrant, the vast majority from Mexico.

And then Halloween came around.

It ended up as an after school Battle Royal of a meeting. In one corner we had the Latino parents and their supporters who wanted to have a school-wide celebration of El Dios de los Muertos, complete with altars and kids dressing like skeletons. In another corner we had the "Anglo" parents who wanted a traditional Halloween/Harvest festival with costumes and candy and games and such. In corner #3 we had the Religious ones who were convinced it was all Satanic and who preferred for everyone to go to church that day, to literally close the school, but if not then shut everyone in the classrooms and just have everything very quiet so as not to attract attention (I kind you not). In the fourth corner was The District, who wanted to avoid getting sued while maintaining the academic time.

And right in the center, how we managed that table I will never know, were the two Buddhists, the (at that time) Pagan and the Jew, trying to keep our heads down, literally. Somehow our particular faith groups were at fault for *all of it*, I have yet to figure out how. All I remember is seeing the worry on the Principal's face as one group after another went off on one or more of us without realizing that a member of that faith was actually in the room with them. We knew they didn't know, in that environment none of us ever shared, and we just found all this hullabaloo funny as hell.

I have no idea how it all shook out, that year and every year after I took Halloween off. I did not want to be in the middle.

[meow139]

I had an odd encounter last summer. I was putting my luggage in the trunk of my car in a hotel parking lot in Albuquerque. I saw a 4 or five year old little girl in a pretty (if a little old fashioned) floral dress walk by. As I usually do when I see children, I smiled. She looked at me blankly and kept walking. Immediately after her came two or three older boys, the oldest of whom appeared to be around ten. I smiled again, but no response from them either. At that point, I noticed the boys all had on long sleeve dress shirts buttoned all the way up. I thought to myself, "Could it be?" Then I saw a stringy haired woman in a longish dark print dress come out. She was carrying a baby in a pink sleeper. My instinctual smile appeared, but she just looked at me with the saddest, dead looking eyes. By this point I was convinced they were fundies. Then I saw the dad. He was dressed just like the boys and had a very short, almost military style haircut. I'm sure he noticed I had smiled at his family. As he walked past me, he glared at me and I swear I felt hatred coming out of his eyes. I kept a level gaze until he looked away. While the mother made me sad, the father totally creeped me out. I don't remember more details of their looks, but I'm still haunted by the mother's empty eyes. When I look at pictures of PP's family, I kept thinking Zsu has eyes so like that woman it must have been her. I haven't read enough of their blog to know how often and to where they've travelled (and I know the number and ages of children I saw don't match up), but I like to tell myself that I possibly won a staring match against the PP.

Those poor kids. If you think about it, it may very well have been Zsu's and the PP. Their kids are relatively around their age, you could have just missed Becky... :shock: The girl could have been Miriam, and Soloman was around 9 then, maybe the babe was Anna?

[Spider Burps]

I think my only fundie encounter, outside of Brother Ross (if you've gone to college in NC you've probably heard of him, though he seems to mostly troll NCSU and UNCW) was at the beach last summer. But it was a lady with a whole bunch of kids (that I'm not sure were all hers) wearing a 1-piece bathing suit with a skirt, and a little lacy veil thing on her head. Nothing particularly interesting, and I hadn't discovered FJ yet.

I went to App State in NC and we had Preacher Gary. :lol: I wonder how many UNC schools had their very own religious nutsos?

[2 much chickenetti]

I think all universities have their religious wing nuts. I want to UC San Diego and we had a guy standing in front of the library every single day with a sign telling us to repent. Sometimes my friends and I would take pictures with this guy (he was a minor campus celebrity) and ask him questions about why students were going to hell... it was interesting.

P.S., he didn't change my mind, I still very much enjoy my debauchery.

[snarkbillie]

Family came in to my work yesterday. Father was in jeans and a plaid button up shirt, mother in a white shirt with a blue jumper with head covering hair in a bun under it, daughter (10ish) was in a matching jumper no head covering but very long hair in braids, son was wearing jeans and a polo style shirt. Baby was in a white dress and a very cute bonnet. The father would not look at me for reasons I can only guess (woman working, short hair, jeans, t-shirt with Darwin's face on it.... the mother did not speak but would smile at me when her husband wasn't looking. The kids were horrendously behaved and I had to redirect them more than once for safety reasons. The father seemed completely absent, walking around staring through everything unable to make eye contact with anyone and did not care that his children were running amok. The baby was precious and very cute.

I encounter fundies a lot at work, but mostly none like these. I get a lot of quiverfull types through- stroller brigade we call them....they have 3-5 kids piled in a stroller made for two. All the older kids run rampant through the building like howler monkeys. None of them talk to me. They all seek out my male coworkers when they have questions. :roll:

Maybe I should start wearing frumpers to work.

[Shana]

In my area I see lots of Muslims in the full garb, covered head to toe, it's kind of par for the course here in so cal. NBD to me. However, one night as I exited the pharmacy a woman entered in a full on blanket like covering. She might as well have been in Afghanistan. The black sheet covered her face and eyes! It was like a kid's ghost costume, but without eyeholes cut out! Kind of scary, really.

Then, thru LLL I was connected to a mom who is expecting twins and needed advice (I have twins and LLL ladies often ask me for tips). Turns out this is #7 and 8 she's expecting! Jeez! Then in our email exchange she always ended with some kind of "God bless" note. Plus she says shes homeschooling her kids. These were my first clues we were dealing with a fundie.

We set up a time to meet in person, and I hopeD and prayed (Lolz) that she'd come by with all of her kids in tow, all lined up tallest to shortest in frumpers like the Duggars! But dang it when the Fam Van drove up, it was only her, no godly arrows piling out. And she wore normal clothes too, pants and all. Blast! But our conversation revealed that they don't use BC (let god decide, open for more), and involved lots of god stuff (her kids were all praying for another blessing!). Plus the older girls help with the chores, and lots of ppl in her HSing group have a ton of babies in rapid succession. But she's also a computer programmer who has worked out of the home, as well as at home. So, I'd classify this as fundie lite / QF wannabe. She was very nice and I liked her. Good times!

[Peas n carrots]

In my area I see lots of Muslims in the full garb, covered head to toe, it's kind of par for the course here in so cal. NBD to me. However, one night as I exited the pharmacy a woman entered in a full on blanket like covering. She might as well have been in Afghanistan. The black sheet covered her face and eyes! It was like a kid's ghost costume, but without eyeholes cut out! Kind of scary, really.

There was a girl I went to university with who did the whole veil over the entire face black burqua getup. I found it a bit scary too...we read so much with facial expressions and body language. I found it very dehumanizing.

Otherwise, I only have Jewish fundies in my area (women cover their hair and wear ankle length skirts/long sleeved shirts). The young women for the most part, seem to work...at least they aren't expected to be SAHD.

However, this weekend I had my first fundie in their natural setting experience in a while. The DH and I were in Wisconsin having dinner Sunday night at Culvers. We were in line behind a fundie family...five teenage girls, tweenage boy and mom/dad. All the girls were wearing long denim skirts and had long hair while mom had a head covering. They kept on stealing glances at me...I have a faux hawk, wearing a black t-shirt, holy jeans and army boots. Even though I was with my DH I think they thought I was one of those lesbians from the big city that invade Wisconsin on the weekends LOL.

[HijabiLady]

My father was a diagnosed bipolar who shot himself with his own rifle when I was 11 years old. When I came home from his funeral I was sat down by a Southern Baptist pastor and told my father was burning in hell. For months and months I dreamt that I saw my father aim his rifle at himself and I was screaming for him to stop so he wouldn't end up in hell. Now I wish I could turn back the clock and tell that pastor to go fuck himself, that BPD is a mental illness not a sign of spiritual weakness.

When I was a teenager I got in quite the vocal exchange with a youth pastor who was saying that newborns and small children could go to hell because we are basically predestined from birth to go to heave or hell. He used some esoteric interpretations from the bible and said that the people who were "saved" were some kind of elect.

I grew up in the deep south, pretty much the damn buckle of the bible belt so my interactions and experiences are too numerous to mention. I think some here would consider me fundy since I am Muslim and wear a head scarf. But I am very politically and socially liberal and don't feel my religious beliefs are the end-all-be-all of truth. I believe heaven will be filled with Muslims, non-Muslims, believers of a multitude of faiths and non-believers. I know this makes me outside the norm for Muslims but frankly, I am happy in my little world. Oh, and i am also very uncomfortable with face coverings (nakaab) on other Muslimahs. I've read the Qur'an and Hadiths and there is some serious verbal ballet that some of the more extreme scholars perform to claim we are supposed to cover our face. We aren't, and there is no where that says so.

[Tee-Tee]

I'm a Muslimah in the Bible belt as well...it's made for some interesting incidents, I'm sure you and others can guess. For me, it is difficult, as I converted as an adult and am the only Muslimah in my family.

I wanted to tell you how sorry I am regarding the death of your father. That pastor had no right, dignity, nor compassion to say such a thing, especially to a child as small as you were. How dare he.

[crazyforkate]

We drove through Pensacola Christian College on a recent trip to Florida, and it was creepy. They were all standing a perfect several inches apart and all dressed more or less the same. It was a Sunday, but still...gave me weird vibes.

[adidas]

I come into frequent (numerous times daily) contact with a number of fundie groups in my work. I've had dealings with Muslim, Brethren, Bruderhof, Buddhist, 'mainstream' Christian, Jewish, SDA and JW on a regular basis. I've dealt with other groups on a much less personal level. I don't discuss it much because I try to be respectful of their privacy (and not just because of the legal confidentiality contract I signed when I entered into this work) but because they're not putting it out there on the internet -they don't have blogs and they don't want attention.

During one conversation (not during a work situation, so I can talk about it here) I was really surprised by how open and honest one woman was. She noticed that I wasn't at work due to illness recently and she asked how I was feeling. I explained my recovery briefly and she offered a story about similar experience of her own. She commented that I looked tired and I told her that we were currently moving house and again she offered a story about a similar experience of her own. She ended with "I nearly cracked. I 'only' had 4 older children at this stage and the baby was two weeks old" then shook her head. I said "wow, that must have been so difficult. You would have been at an increased risk of ..." and then stopped because I didn't want to offend her or talk about something her religion might not agree with (I was going to say 'post partum depression). She finished the sentence for me though: "post partum depression? Oh yes I had it. It was terrible, such a devastating experience for all of us." She went on to discuss it further - her feelings, how hard it was for her with all those little children etc.

I couldn't believe how open and honest she was. This is a notoriously private group. Very, very strict and VERY unbending in their rules about everything from hairstyles to clothes to food etc - I was so surprised that she opened up to me and discussed it so honestly. I doubt she would be able to discuss it with women in her religion and she would certainly never talk to anyone not of her religion (they avoid speaking with people outside their religion except in situations where their religion can't provide ... eg doctors, teachers etc - the religion can't provide any career requiring higher education because they're not allowed to attend). I made an ASSumption that the religion would shush talk about depression (or maybe even deny it) because of some of their other beliefs. I'm really glad I was wrong. This woman has gone on to have many more children, so I hope she had good support (because contraception is absolutely not an option).