Michele Duggar's Tips for a Happy Marriage

[2xx1xy1JD]

Even IF I was willing to be a doormat for the sake of a happy marriage, that sort of advice just doesn't lead to a good relationship.

It sounds too much like "how to be really passive aggressive, so that you pretend that you are cool with the way that he is doing things but in reality think that he is an idiot and pray that G-d shows him the error of his ways. Also included is how to be truly unhelpful to your mate, by not assisting him by doing things that are obviously within your capability, and instead dumping them on him, making him feel that his manhood is dependent on him doing a good job, and then pulling a suffering martyr act when he struggles. Extra bonus: how to show your kids that you are not a capable adult, and how to show them that you care less about their well-being than daddy's ego".

Now, there are things that I do delegate to my husband. The difference is that when I do so, I really mean it. If the bills are paid and he's worked hard and earned a surplus, I can say, "you don't have to justify to me how you spend your money." Since I do speak up on family finance issues in general, pay bills, etc., he knows that when I say, "it's up to you" that it really is up to him, and I'm not going to get mad or resentful. He also trusts that if I see that he's clearly doing something wrong - missing a turn on the highway, getting worked up about a minor issue, making a hole in the wall, etc. - I'll mention it and help him, without drama. To me, it's just mean to stand back, refuse to help and then wait for someone to fail.

[Visionoyahweh]

Another critical article!

http://www.starpulse.com/news/SheKnows_ ... chelle_dug

But it's immediately after that lesson that things rapidly go downhill. The rest of Duggar's relationship advice reads like a chapter from The Abusive Husband Handbook. According to her, the woman should be financially dependent upon her husband, never ask anyone but him for advice, let him make all the decisions and always give him sex when he wants it, even if you'd rather dig your eyeballs out with a spoon than take your skirt off.

No wonder she has all those kids. Saying no to that hunk of a man Jim Bob is simply out of the question.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Rereading the list, I also have to say that it's ironic that they talk about the "protection" that a husband gives his wife.

What if the main thing that she needs protection from is another pregnancy?

As gallant as JB may act, the fact is that his sperm directly led to Michelle's life being threatened by her pregnancy with Josie, and to a subsequent high-risk pregnancy that ended in a late miscarriage.

In the Duggar world, can a woman say, "please don't threaten my life with another pregnancy?"

[thoughtful]

Rereading the list, I also have to say that it's ironic that they talk about the "protection" that a husband gives his wife.

What if the main thing that she needs protection from is another pregnancy?

As gallant as JB may act, the fact is that his sperm directly led to Michelle's life being threatened by her pregnancy with Josie, and to a subsequent high-risk pregnancy that ended in a late miscarriage.

In the Duggar world, can a woman say, "please don't threaten my life with another pregnancy?"

This.

After a while, pointing out all of the hypocrisy in their thinking begins to feel like being a perpetual motion machine, or Sysiphus with that farkakte rock!

It just never ends.

[Anxious Girl]

I really hope that AC asks them questions about the marriage pamphlet, whether the kids are there or not. If they're using their kids as a shield as somebody said on the AC post, then that shield needs to be broken by asking the questions as straight to the point as possible to the parents.

[kayray]

Whatever one's beliefs, I do not know how anyone could think that these "tips" are the least bit healthy or sane, or believe they could result in a happy marriage, or how anyone can even DEFEND that list. It is horrible! It reads as either a recipe for abuse, or a how-to guide for a teenage girl who believes Twilight is a healthy example of a relationship (and actually, abuse covers that well too).

The Duggars and their ilk may disagree with my progressive and egalitarian marriage (which is very happy, loving, and respectful, thank you very much!), but fuck 'em. If I wanted to marry an insecure and abusive teenage boy, I would have done so.

I really think this list shows how "lost" (vacant? robotic? beyond rational?) Michelle really is, and how much everything we see of the Duggars (excluding FJ of course since you are all a smarter bunch!) is a total mask for what is really going on. It drives me crazy when people just think the Duggars are "one big happy family" and I see that opinion around a LOT.

[Visionoyahweh]

If they're using their kids as a shield as somebody said on the AC post, then that shield needs to be broken by asking the questions as straight to the point as possible to the parents.

QFT. It reminds me of The Dead Zone, but with JB's face in place of Martin Sheen's.

[clarinetpower]

Deepen Your Wife’s Security Through Acceptance

A wife needs to know that her husband accepts her “unchangeables,†especially the ones she herself has difficulty accepting. You have a unique opportunity to love your wife by helping her learn the Scriptural basis of self-acceptance.

List any unchangeable physical features, family circumstances, and past experiences that your wife finds difficult to accept, such as a physical handicap, poverty, or divorced parents. Ask the Lord to show you how each of these unchangeables has produced or strengthened in your wife character qualities or attitudes that you admire. Share these insights with your wife and help her understand ways that God has benefited her life through those situations that were, or are, beyond her control.

"Honey, I prayed and asked God about it. Turns out you have a fat ass so we can save money on chair pads! Isn't the Lord wonderful?" :doh:

[HowRude]

I guess I would be a a horrible wife in that I'm self sufficient and can take care of most things myself. However you can still kill that spider.