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Elizabeth Smart is Married!


bekkah

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Stress can also affect your fertility.

It's true. I've heard that stress can cause you to lose a period, though personally I've found that the reverse is true. But if she hadn't even had her first period yet, the constant stress she was under (I read that she was raped multiple TIMES a day and shivered) might have delayed menarche. That is pure speculation on my part, I don't know for sure if that's the case, but it seems likely.

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Holy crap!

Maybe Elizabeth Smart was caused to feel unworthy by her community of single American Mormon husband prospects??

"President Spencer W. Kimball, in his book Miracle of Forgiveness, quoted Prophet Heber J. Grant as saying, "[t]here is no true Latter-day Saint who would not rather bury a son or daughter than to have him or her lose his or her chastity--realizing that chastity is of more value than anything else in all the world."

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,422603

“Also far-reaching is the effect of loss of chastity. Once given or TAKEN or STOLEN it can never be regained. Even in forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation where there is no Voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one’s virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle.â€

–Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness.

(Emphasis mine.)

The Miracle of Forgiveness is a disgusting book. I actually first heard about it from practicing Mormons who thought it was just horrible. The LDS website does have statements that contradict that quote now, but unfortunately members still often use that book.

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I do remember hearing about 2 or 3 months after she was rescued was that the LDS elders deemed her still a virgin because of what she went through wasn't her doing.

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The Miracle of Forgiveness is a disgusting book. I actually first heard about it from practicing Mormons who thought it was just horrible. The LDS website does have statements that contradict that quote now, but unfortunately members still often use that book.

Right? I know E was declared still a virgin in the eyes of the church, but poor thing still had that to contend with? Talk about a mind fuck.

My mom saw her speak at a Bar Association luncheon several months ago, and said she was extremely poised and well-spoken, but also a little...tightly wound? If she never received proper therapy, it makes sense, since she'd probably be working really hard to shove those feelings aside or whatever. Not to internet-diagnose, but something to think about. I hope she's happy, whatever happens, and is able to live her life how she wants.

That said, I think secular therapy is the way to go in most traumatic events, since I keep hearing horror stories about fundie religiously-oriented therapy (Marcus Bachmann, anyone?), and, not to mention, the clergy of the LDS church are lay, unpaid, and often undertrained. I'd be worried about some LDS bishop who's really an office manager giving psychological advice to anyone, let alone someone like Elizabeth Smart.

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RE the husband being Scottish not American, this is where I don't get Silverspoons' objection or the fact she finds it strange and worrying. Plenty of people meet people from other nationalities all the time, get on and get married. Why is it more unusual because ES is American?

I have some suspicions about why she thinks that. But before judging, I would like to hear her explanation.

He's from the UK. We have a close relationship with the UK, which means that all of their citizens in good standing over could get permission for stay here for a while very easily and without having to marry someone so I don't know why anyone would think that.

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He's from the UK. We have a close relationship with the UK, which means that all of their citizens in good standing over could get permission for stay here for a while very easily and without having to marry someone

so I don't know why anyone would think that.

This is what strikes me as weird. silverspoons seemed to be implying he married ES *because* she is American. As debrand and others have said, although she was a ticket to US citizenship (which the entire world can only dream of, of course) and that's why he did it, not because he loved her.

He's from Aberdeen. I've been there a few times. I do not love it, but for aesthetic reasons. It's not Mogadishu, or anything vaguely resembling it. It's a developed city (actually there is a lot of money in Aberdeen) in a First World nation. Also a fair few Americans. He wouldn't have to go to Paris to find one.

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It's true. I've heard that stress can cause you to lose a period, though personally I've found that the reverse is true. But if she hadn't even had her first period yet, the constant stress she was under (I read that she was raped multiple TIMES a day and shivered) might have delayed menarche. That is pure speculation on my part, I don't know for sure if that's the case, but it seems likely.

Also, many teenagers have irregular cycles under normal circumstances. I had maybe 6-8 periods a year as a teen. (That's probably more irregular than the average teenager, though.)

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Guest Anonymous

The Miracle of Forgiveness is a disgusting book. I actually first heard about it from practicing Mormons who thought it was just horrible. The LDS website does have statements that contradict that quote now, but unfortunately members still often use that book.

Ok...second paragraph contradicts itself. First it says no condemnation where there is no participation, but then say it's better to die defending your virginity than to lose it without a struggle. HUH?

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Ok...second paragraph contradicts itself. First it says no condemnation where there is no participation, but then say it's better to die defending your virginity than to lose it without a struggle. HUH?

Well they are defining "voluntary" participation as not fighting your attacker, in order to save your life (or not being able to fight back, etc.) vs. fighting when clearly that is putting you in more danger but would be defending your virginity because obviously that is the #1 priority here. Disgusting.

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Guest Anonymous

Disgusting doesn't even being to describe it! I would like to take this Miracle of Forgiveness crap and shove up the ass of the LDS elders or whatever! It's all about purity. It's doesn't matter that Elizabeth was kidnapped, repeatedly raped, and had God only knows what was done to her, all that matters is that she's considered "pure". Like I said disgusting doesn't even being to describe it!

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I read the trial transcript. She said that she began her period while she was being held. At that time her rapist began to take measures to prevent pregnancy.

I'm not comfortable discussing the details of her rape but I think it was discussed on the thread about the trial.

I hope she got therapy and had chosen not to share that information with the public (out even her parents if necessary)

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I don't understand her sudden change of heart - she went from wanting full and total privacy from the media to having her wedding pictures / honeymoon photo / engagement ring / bridal gown being splashed all over people.com

This is from the article in People when they announced her engagement: Ed [her father], who is staying mum on wedding details – including the groom’s name – says Elizabeth "wants to keep it very private and feels very strongly about that right now."

And this: Thomas [rep for ES] also emphasized Smart's desire for privacy. "She's going to be very public in her child advocacy work, but has decided she wants to keep her personal life private," he said.

I wonder if she has consented to this (money paid for wedding photos could change anyone's mind pretty quick) or if they are going against her wishes. But it seems that I haven't been able to open up people.com for the last two weeks without seeing an article about her.

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I have have always decided to think just the sunniest and best things about Elizabeth and her family: that she had such supportive, loving and wonderful parents and family that being returned to them and her safe life with them healed her. That for her there is a loving, caring and just God who healed her heart and soul upon her first embrace with her perfect parents. That she is so self-assured and confident and sure in her own goodness of heart and spirit that she can file the past away and move on her with her life, still full of hope and happiness. Now she has met a wonderful young man who will treasure and love her, support and encourage her, provide love, respect and caring every single day for the rest of her life. She will know nothing but happiness all the rest of her days.

Yes, I know there are rational and reasonable reasons why there should be questions about therapy and what she received and didn't and how she has or has not handled things, etc. But for some reason I like to believe the fairytale they're pushing with her and I pray (as much as an atheist can) that it's all true for her. I'm sure there are reasons why that makes me a thoughtless person or some sort but I just want to believe in that for her.

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I have have always decided to think just the sunniest and best things about Elizabeth and her family: that she had such supportive, loving and wonderful parents and family that being returned to them and her safe life with them healed her. That for her there is a loving, caring and just God who healed her heart and soul upon her first embrace with her perfect parents. That she is so self-assured and confident and sure in her own goodness of heart and spirit that she can file the past away and move on her with her life, still full of hope and happiness. Now she has met a wonderful young man who will treasure and love her, support and encourage her, provide love, respect and caring every single day for the rest of her life. She will know nothing but happiness all the rest of her days.

Yes, I know there are rational and reasonable reasons why there should be questions about therapy and what she received and didn't and how she has or has not handled things, etc. But for some reason I like to believe the fairytale they're pushing with her and I pray (as much as an atheist can) that it's all true for her. I'm sure there are reasons why that makes me a thoughtless person or some sort but I just want to believe in that for her.

This is exactly how I choose to feel too. That girl deserves to have the most wonderful life possible.

My friend works for the florist who did the flowers for the wedding, and she mentioned that Elizabeth was jubilant that day. I hope that her new husband brings her joy every single day.

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I don't understand her sudden change of heart - she went from wanting full and total privacy from the media to having her wedding pictures / honeymoon photo / engagement ring / bridal gown being splashed all over people.com

This is from the article in People when they announced her engagement: Ed [her father], who is staying mum on wedding details – including the groom’s name – says Elizabeth "wants to keep it very private and feels very strongly about that right now."

And this: Thomas [rep for ES] also emphasized Smart's desire for privacy. "She's going to be very public in her child advocacy work, but has decided she wants to keep her personal life private," he said.

I wonder if she has consented to this (money paid for wedding photos could change anyone's mind pretty quick) or if they are going against her wishes. But it seems that I haven't been able to open up people.com for the last two weeks without seeing an article about her.

I have some knowledge of this (er, not with weddings, though). They might have said "Well, it is public interest, so we are going to publish anyway. Now if you get involved...maybe you get some say in what we put out, see what I mean?" They will put it in more flowery words than that, but this is the intent.

ES may have agreed so the tone would be how she wants it...

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