Ruth is Requesting Help

[Lainey]

Yeah, marmalade, are you sure you're not confusing her with KISA? Alecto got confirmation from him. Not for Ruth as far as I'm aware.

[Austin]

If Alecto or another trusted source has vetted that indeed, Rachel is pregnant and that Ruth is able to get her out of Darth's/harm's way, it means a lot.

I'm skeptical about everything on teh webz, even stories with as many details as Ruth's have had.

Even the foregoing kerfuffle might be bogus, just staged to make lurkers think there's a rift in the hive!!!

<---That last possibility is meant as a joke, everybody! Joking, just joking!!! I've just got lurkers on the brain, these days!

MJB, as an admin, this would be news to me as well as treemom. Let's not repeat this until we can confirm it with Alecto.

[Austin]

I admit: I am sometimes somewhat confrontational. No point in waiting to reveal that about myself.

That's fine, but don't be surprised if people either shred you or ignore you completely. There are a couple of very argumentative people here and after a few run-ins, I just refuse to engage with them entirely, even if they say that puppies are cute.

[ladypuglover]

That's fine, but don't be surprised if people either shred you or ignore you completely. There are a couple of very argumentative people here and after a few run-ins, I just refuse to engage with them entirely, even if they say that puppies are cute.

But puppies are cute. :animals-dogrun:

[Austin]

But puppies are cute. :animals-dogrun:

Exactly.

[socalrules]

I don't think there is anything wrong with being skeptical of Ruth's story. I admit to feeling that way myself, especially when new problems arise in her life. Sometimes it just feels like too much. I think it is natural for all of us to feel that way because, even if she is verified by someone else from the internet, we cannot ever be 100% sure since we were not the ones to vetting her. That being said, I hope her story is real and, until I hear otherwise, will assume it is likely to be true. I love any story where someone can rise above a bad situtation and build the happy life of their choosing. The skepticism is what keeps me from donating money but I am glad to help with advice or information. It may not help her but it may help someone else on this forum. As someone said earlier, the best part of this has been the help so many people have offered to someone they don't even know. It has really shown what wonderful people there are out there.

[MamaJunebug]

MJB, as an admin, this would be news to me as well as treemom. Let's not repeat this until we can confirm it with Alecto.

Austin, that'll teach me! I originally had this written, "If Alecto or another trusted source could vet [the info], it would mean a lot."

I caught sight of the statement that Alecto had indeed vetted it and changed my wording. That'll teach me to post hastily. My very bad, indeed. :oops:

[Austin]

No worries.

Alecto has NOT vetted Ruth, btw.

Edited by treemom: Just to clarify, both Austin and I just confirmed with Alecto directly that she has not vetted Ruth.

[snickerz]

Side topic: There's a lot of good info in this thread that might be helpful for other fundies trying to break away. Maybe we should have a sticky somewhere for "Help for Fundies Trying To Break Away" or something like that, with info like how to find a shelter, how to get your SS number, how to apply for aid, and whatever other info would be useful. Or do we not get enough fundie traffic for something like that to actually help anyone?

[snarkykitty]

But puppies are cute. :animals-dogrun:

This reminded me of one of the funniest scenes in the movie "Bridesmaids." Watch the whole thing (it's short) but at around :55 is when I busted a gut laughing:

[Caramel]

It would be great to have, anyway, especially as a document. I'd like to have one or two printed up in my purse at all times. It always feels so impolite not to have anything to give in return when someone hands me a tract.

[Koala]

I'm new here. Somebody (preferably not treemom) want to help me understand what treemom's issue is?

How would anyone else here know what Treemom's "issue" is?

For what it's worth, I think she might have the same "issue" a lot of posters here have - We don't blindly believe everything we read, and we aren't afraid to ask questions.

If you're looking for a group that sticks their fingers in their ears and reaches for their wallet at the slightest suggestion, you're probably in the wrong place. If you request help here, someone is probably going to want verification that what you are saying is true.

I don't think Ruth expects our unquestioning loyalty, and no one else has any right to expect it on her behalf. Her choice to remain anonymous (which I have no problem with) does not come without consequence. People are going to second guess before they part with their hard earned money...that's a good thing.

That said, my well wishes go to Ruth and her sister. Whether her story is true or not, I can't say.

[marmalade]

Oops, my bad. However, I'm positive she's been authenticated SOMEWHERE (not using NLQ as source material).

Sorry to drag Alecto into this; I supposed I did MISTAKE (confuse isn't the right word; I know they're two separate entities) the situations and thought the Ruth thing happened when the old board was overrun with doubters.

[Ralar]

It would be great to have, anyway, especially as a document. I'd like to have one or two printed up in my purse at all times. It always feels so impolite not to have anything to give in return when someone hands me a tract.

[EmmieJ]

I was very moved as I read through this thread, by the outpouring of support but even more importantly, good helpful advice and links, etc. It caused me to choose at least one local DV shelter and add it to my monthly contribution list.

I definitely understand the concern people have about possible scams on the internet. There are so many phony stories out there. For my own part, I think Ruth is legit, but I don't expect anyone to give weight to my opinion, nor should they. If I were to give to Ruth (or any other stranger online), it would be for a relatively small amount that wouldn't cut into my own grocery budget, and with the expectation that I might be giving it to someone who isn't entirely truthful. I'd rather give a little, on the chance the person was legit and really truly needed it.

Ruth - I wish your sister the very best. It sounds like she is safe and will be well looked after now.

[valsa]

I admit: I am sometimes somewhat confrontational. No point in waiting to reveal that about myself.

:lol:

Welcome to the board.

[MamaJunebug]

snarkykitty wrote:

This reminded me of one of the funniest scenes in the movie "Bridesmaids." Watch the whole thing (it's short) but at around :55 is when I busted a gut laughing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkiRifxJ ... 505BF5ED17

I love Maya Rudolph. When I found out she was the daughter of Minnie Riperton I knew why.

OK, back on-topic, just had to let off a little steam. It's been an intense FJ morning for an old woman!!!!!! :|

[Lainey]

Sorry to drag Alecto into this; I supposed I did MISTAKE (confuse isn't the right word; I know they're two separate entities) the situations and thought the Ruth thing happened when the old board was overrun with doubters.

:lol: Well, pardon me for using the wrong word! :mrgreen:

[ellerigby]

Side topic: There's a lot of good info in this thread that might be helpful for other fundies trying to break away. Maybe we should have a sticky somewhere for "Help for Fundies Trying To Break Away" or something like that, with info like how to find a shelter, how to get your SS number, how to apply for aid, and whatever other info would be useful. Or do we not get enough fundie traffic for something like that to actually help anyone?

I think that is a great idea. Even if we don't get a ton of fundie traffic ourselves (I don't know the data on that), I think it would be really helpful to have all this information organized into one place, especially for young women who have very little experience with government agencies and Google. I'd love to have a single link to direct people to.

If the mods would like, I'd happily take charge of compiling this information for a single post. I have a fair amount of work experience in domestic violence issues and could use my resources (and the resources of other members) to put this together.

[ladypuglover]

How would anyone else here know what Treemom's "issue" is?

For what it's worth, I think she might have the same "issue" a lot of posters here have - We don't blindly believe everything we read, and we aren't afraid to ask questions.

If you're looking for a group that sticks their fingers in their ears and reaches for their wallet at the slightest suggestion, you're probably in the wrong place. If you request help here, someone is probably going to want verification that what you are saying is true.

I don't think Ruth expects our unquestioning loyalty, and no one else has any right to expect it on her behalf. Her choice to remain anonymous (which I have no problem with) does not come without consequence. People are going to second guess before they part with their hard earned money...that's a good thing.

That said, my well wishes go to Ruth and her sister. Whether her story is true or not, I can't say.

I agree with this as no one here can really vouch for one another even though some have met up in real life. RR has had a lot of drama these past few years but look at what she left. Just breathing is going to be stressed filled for her for a very long time. Drama sadly happens to us all at times, this past year was very drama filled for my family with a nephew in combat, a son at ground zero in Japan, my great neice murdered and my grandmother pulling one last hate filled zinger before her death. It happens to us all but I unlike Ruth had family and close friends surrounding me. Ruth's family is the cause of her drama with her dad leading the parade. You don't have to open your wallet for her and let her go at it, but a shoulder to cry on and arms to hug can really help Ruth and her sister during this time.

[TaylorMaid]

Just out of curiosity- how does verification happen? What would constitute proof of identity?

An i.d. would only prove name, not necessarily that the story behind it was true.

[StarrieEyedKat]

The most private way would be for Ruth to confide in Alecto something that verifies Ruth's identity. Then Alecto can communicate to the board that it's the real deal. KISA did this, and Alecto was able to let us know that he was, in fact, a Vision Forum insider without compromising his identity to the rest of us.

Not saying that Ruth is required to do that or anything, but that's generally the best way to go about it.

[TaylorMaid]

The most private way would be for Ruth to confide in Alecto something that verifies Ruth's identity. Then Alecto can communicate to the board that it's the real deal. KISA did this, and Alecto was able to let us know that he was, in fact, a Vision Forum insider without compromising his identity to the rest of us.

Not saying that Ruth is required to do that or anything, but that's generally the best way to go about it.

That seems reasonable. On one hand I wish there was confirmation, so more people with doubts might offer support. On the other I totally understand the need for the relative safety of anonymity.

And naturally my opinion should mean nothing to Ruth. I wish her the best regardless.

[Mattie Chatham]

Side topic: There's a lot of good info in this thread that might be helpful for other fundies trying to break away. Maybe we should have a sticky somewhere for "Help for Fundies Trying To Break Away" or something like that, with info like how to find a shelter, how to get your SS number, how to apply for aid, and whatever other info would be useful. Or do we not get enough fundie traffic for something like that to actually help anyone?

They started doing this on the FB forum for the Recovering Grace website. I think a more centralized version of this would be excellent.

[marmalade]

Yes, understanding the history was key. Basically I felt I had explained it from the very beginning and it was obvious. And the last person who dared hint that there was valid reason for skepticism got bitched out at...so I don't intend to go down the whole rabbit hole again.

I suspect Sophie did understand what I was asking...she can be purposely obtuse on occasion.

I suspect I'm that "last poster." I expressed what I believed was a legitimate position. When someone comes at you with "Yeah, Marmalade..." THEY are the ones with the attitude. THAT attitude really isn't necessary and accomplishes nothing in an honest discourse, in which information was easily verified and and proven to be INCORRECT, rather than flounce, I apologized. Usually, my memory doesn't fail me, so I wouldn't come here posting shit that I knew was false to stir up trouble.

I posted this publicly so the people who "bitched me out" understand where the post came from and why. If they can't accept it for what it is, that's their problem. No skin off my back.