Ruth is Requesting Help

[keeperrox]

razingruth.blogspot.com/2012/02/serious-needs.html

Is anyone here in Arkansas or California that knows how to help?

[Beeks]

http://razingruth.blogspot.com/2012/02/serious-needs.html

Is anyone here in Arkansas or California that knows how to help?

What part of CA is she in? I have lots of attorney connections. Are they looking for an attorney to file a restraining order (it's a little unclear?). It's pretty easy to get that done pro bono.

As for moving her sis out there honestly I'd just put it on a credit card and pay it off later.

[ladypuglover]

I don't know of a way to help her other than doing a chain of FJians picking her up and dropping her off to the next FJian. Kind of like an underground RR.

[marmalade]

What part of CA is she in? I have lots of attorney connections. Are they looking for an attorney to file a restraining order (it's a little unclear?). It's pretty easy to get that done pro bono.

As for moving her sis out there honestly I'd just put it on a credit card and pay it off later.

From her posts, I think Riverside County, possibly San Bernardino or eastern San Diego counties,maybe (but not really likely) as far north as Fresno; she goes to a CSU and when she broke her leg, mentioned that the mountains were a short drive from her. It also has to be an area she can afford, which eliminates the coast or even eastern OC, which is more exurban with no CSU in the vicinity.

[PokaDot]

The fastest way is to stick her on a plane (preferably have someone with her), or drive. Yeah, last minute plane tickets are super super expensive, but sometimes the airline will take make an exception (like they do with funerals or baby births).

[ladypuglover]

The fastest way is to stick her on a plane (preferably have someone with her), or drive. Yeah, last minute plane tickets are super super expensive, but sometimes the airline will take make an exception (like they do with funerals or baby births).

She may be too far along to fly.

[snarkykitty]

According to Orbitz, she can fly from Fayetteville AR to San Diego or LAX for about $300. If Ruth has a credit card, she should be able to pay that off in a decent amount of time.

Unless she's more than 35 weeks pregnant, universally, she should be okay to fly.

[Beeks]

Ruth, if you are reading here, pm me. I have lots of legal resourches in socal, which is where I used to practice.

[Cassia]

Ruth posted that Rachel is about 28 weeks pregnant.

edit: That post was on Feb 2, so she might even be 30 weeks now.

[VVV]

With my last child, I flew from Denver to San Antonio when I was 36 weeks pregnant. I did get a note from my doctor saying that I was OK to fly, but nobody at the airline even asked to see it. The only people who seemed a little concerned were the other passengers; the flight attendants and gate attendants weren't fazed at all.

[Witsec7]

What part of CA is she in? I have lots of attorney connections. Are they looking for an attorney to file a restraining order (it's a little unclear?). It's pretty easy to get that done pro bono.

As for moving her sis out there honestly I'd just put it on a credit card and pay it off later.

DV shelters routinely help women fill out restraining orders in CA.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

This is so sad. I'm actually kind of close to where she is. I wish I could do something because I've been there, done that, fleeing a domestic abuse situation and the poor girl must be terrified.

[BravaAmica]

I tried to comment on your blog but for some reason couldn't figure out how. anyway, your sister should contact a domestic violence shelter. Even thought what she's experiencing is not what is normally thought of as domestic violence, she has been and is being abused. They will have resources.

If you want her to fly out to you, some things to think about: Does Rachel have a state issued ID so she can get on a plane? Can she navigate the airport, like the security screening? Is she safe where she is for the moment? How much longer will she be safe there? Can she stay with your brother for a bit?

I think the first thing is to get Rachel to you- then contact a domestic violence shelter in your area, get her set up with assistance, medical care, ect.

I am so sorry this is happening, Ruth. I truly hope you are able to be reunited with your sister shortly.

[polabear]

One thing they'll want to keep in mind is that where ever the baby is born is where any court battle will be. And while they can't prevent the sister from leaving now, they can after the baby is born.

Does CA have any concept of grandparents' rights? That's one thing to worry about.

[PokaDot]

I tried to comment on your blog but for some reason couldn't figure out how. anyway, your sister should contact a domestic violence shelter. Even thought what she's experiencing is not what is normally thought of as domestic violence, she has been and is being abused. They will have resources.

If you want her to fly out to you, some things to think about: Does Rachel have a state issued ID so she can get on a plane? Can she navigate the airport, like the security screening? Is she safe where she is for the moment? How much longer will she be safe there? Can she stay with your brother for a bit?

I think the first thing is to get Rachel to you- then contact a domestic violence shelter in your area, get her set up with assistance, medical care, ect.

I am so sorry this is happening, Ruth. I truly hope you are able to be reunited with your sister shortly.

This is why I was thinking it would be best for someone to travel with her (plus reassuring her will help when traveling).

[socalrules]

According to Orbitz, she can fly from Fayetteville AR to San Diego or LAX for about $300. If Ruth has a credit card, she should be able to pay that off in a decent amount of time.

Unless she's more than 35 weeks pregnant, universally, she should be okay to fly.

If she flew a smaller airline into smaller airports such as Ontario or Burbank airports, the cost may be less. LAX is almost always a more expensive airport to fly into. She could then take a flyaway bus from the airport to LAX or San Diego. It wouldn't be more than an hour to LAX and maybe three to San Diego. Those bus rides are pretty cheap. I would say take a train but the ride might be too long for her.

If she needs to get out quickly, this may be the time for Ruth to ask friends at school for $20 each or whatever they can offer, whatever it takes. Little amounts add up. I think most friends will give a little something. I know she doesn't want everyone knowing her business but saving her sister is the more important now. Besides, it would be faster than asking people online for information on how to get resources to get her sister to Ruth's area. Unfortunately, some of the places that offer help can't always offer it right away.

[BravaAmica]

One thing they'll want to keep in mind is that where ever the baby is born is where any court battle will be. And while they can't prevent the sister from leaving now, they can after the baby is born.

Does CA have any concept of grandparents' rights? That's one thing to worry about.

I think Issiah's family is worried about him having to man up and pay child support and having other ATI families know that he got someone pregnant out of wedlock. His parents could care less about visitation. They want to control the adoption so they know the child will never come back to "haunt" them.

PokaDot I agree- a traveling companion would be just the thing. Not just navigating the screening process but what if she has to change planes??

[PokaDot]

nevermind....visitation != custody....

[BravaAmica]

nevermind....visitation != custody....

To get custody, Issiah would have to admit paternity & pay child support. From what Ruth has said, there is no way they are going to do that.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

To get custody, Issiah would have to admit paternity & pay child support. From what Ruth has said, there is no way they are going to do that.

Don't put it past them.

I could see fundies using the situation as 'evidence' for the supposed feminist cabal running the family courts. Or California being overly liberal. Or some other tripe.

[BravaAmica]

Don't put it past them.

I could see fundies using the situation as 'evidence' for the supposed feminist cabal running the family courts. Or California being overly liberal. Or some other tripe.

My concern was they would "adopt" the baby out. And by "adopt," I mean "murder." Or imprison Rachel through the pregnancy, steal the baby after it's born and turn Rachel back over to her father. [i do not put locking her in a room and beating the shit out of her past him.]

Outlandish, I know- but given how they are so focused on appearances and wanting to look picture perfect and awesome christians, well, some people will do anything to keep up appearances.

[PokaDot]

Okay, after more googlefu....

Grandparents "in most states" cannot prevent an adoption from going through: www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/can-gra ... -happening

In order for Isaiah to to stop it, he will have to admit he did it: www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/can-a-b ... -happening

If Rachel wants to claim she doesn't know who the father is, then they can't really do much....but then they'd claim she lied about Isaiah...

[razingruth]

Quick update because the phone calls are happening fast and furious tonight.

Rachel is, at this moment, at a hotel, in another city, with my brother's boss' wife. They felt like they needed to get her out of town. Of course, this isn't a practical permanent solution (the hotel room). If I can get her here, a prof's family will host her until I can find her a more permanent place to live.

We do have some limitations.

I do not have a credit card. I have a debit card. She has neither. She also has no current state issued, photo ID. We were working on that before all hell broke loose today. We got her birth certificate, but not social sec. card or #. She doesn't have a driver's license, yet. She has $37 in her pocket for food. TANF benefits can't be started until she can provide the right sorts of ID and, as you can see...we're lacking those. That was going to be our goal. I can borrow a car and drive to get here, but that will require more gas money than I have in my bank account. I don't think she can fly (no id, pregnant). She's nervous about the train alone. Maybe I could train out to meet her and come back? That was a good idea. Any ideas are welcome. I'll tell her about the shelters and salvation army to see if they'll help. THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU!

[BravaAmica]

Okay, after more googlefu....

Grandparents "in most states" cannot prevent an adoption from going through: http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/ ... -happening

In order for Isaiah to to stop it, he will have to admit he did it: http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/ ... -happening

If Rachel wants to claim she doesn't know who the father is, then they can't really do much....but then they'd claim she lied about Isaiah...

Saying she has no idea who the birth father is might be the way to go. It leaves her with all the power- she can decide how to proceed. [Yes, denying a birth father a say in the adoption is shitty in normal circumstances. But these are not normal circumstances. Her safety and well-being are threatened in a very real way.]

[VVV]

I donated $25 through your blog about an hour ago. I'm not comfortable donating more than that to an anonymous stranger--I believe you are telling the truth but there's always that little voice of doubt over the internet. But if many other people also contributed small amounts, it would add up pretty quickly and you could get her out of there.

Being pregnant isn't an obstacle to flying but not having a government issued ID is. Greyhound doesn't check IDs and is by far the cheapest way to travel. It's also perhaps the most uncomfortable but if you could go out to meet her and then come back, it might not be too bad. Given that Rachel's lack of an ID is a complete obstacle to flying, perhaps the most comfortable way for her to travel is if someone can drive her.

You and Rachel are in my prayers. It's hard to believe that a situation like this could occur in the US in 2012. But I believe it.