Resurrecting the Doug Phillips is a Tool Campaign

[lilith]

Oh Buzzard, that is genius. I am still giggling.

Is that the real application? How many years home schooled? So publicly schooled applicants need not apply? Single mothers may sign as "acting head of household"? Who exactly was I acting for when I was a single mum?

Oh, and

Porn Doug Phillips is a tool

Boobs Doug Phillips is a tool

Hot girls Doug Phillips is a tool

Hardcore gay sex Doug Phillips is a tool

[PennySycamore]

Buzzard, the application is BRILLIANT!!

Doug Phillips is a tool!

[Guest Anonymous]

Richard has been distracted by a wine tasting tonight so we will have to tighten up his application before its submitted. I think some of his answers can be tailored a bit more. As for his picture... thats tough. I'm thinking some softcore male porn? Its tough because its crossing state lines so it has to be discreet yet the snark needs to speak strongly. Can someone photoshop a picture of his holy toolness with an anaconda?'

Doug Phillips is a tool

OK, don't say I never gave ya nuthin':

and to further emphasize that Doug Phillips is a tool:

[Buzzard]

OK, don't say I never gave ya nuthin':

and to further emphasize that Doug Phillips is a tool:

Teh Eyez! Tehy scarez me! I love it!

[slickcat79]

Oh Buzzard, that is genius. I am still giggling.

Is that the real application? How many years home schooled? So publicly schooled applicants need not apply? Single mothers may sign as "acting head of household"? Who exactly was I acting for when I was a single mum?

Oh, and

Porn Doug Phillips is a tool

Boobs Doug Phillips is a tool

Hot girls Doug Phillips is a tool

Hardcore gay sex Doug Phillips is a tool

Scott Brown's NCFIC intern application has the same disclaimer about single moms. It also makes it very clear that their program is for HOME EDUCATED young men. Wouldn't want to have the slave labor bright-eyed young interns to realize they should really be getting paid for this be corrupted by the heathen public schools.

[twin2]

Why do all these intern applications ask for photos?

**Doug Phillips is a tool**

**Scott Brown, you are not far behind**

**google is the best search engine ever** (because google[bot] seems to be very narcissistic)

[Kitty]

Oh Buzzard, that is genius. I am still giggling.

Is that the real application? How many years home schooled? So publicly schooled applicants need not apply? Single mothers may sign as "acting head of household"? Who exactly was I acting for when I was a single mum?

Oh, and

Porn Doug Phillips is a tool

Boobs Doug Phillips is a tool

Hot girls Doug Phillips is a tool

Hardcore gay sex Doug Phillips is a tool

Hardcore gay sex is one thing that Vision Forum interns are expressly prohibited from seeing; whether it is because Doug Phillips is a giant tool or a hypocrite is debated by critics of Vision Forum Ministries.

(just taking Emmiedahl's advice... ;) )

[mirele]

Scott Brown's NCFIC intern application has the same disclaimer about single moms. It also makes it very clear that their program is for HOME EDUCATED young men. Wouldn't want to have the slave labor bright-eyed young interns to realize they should really be getting paid for this be corrupted by the heathen public schools.

ClibbyJo! Or any other home schooling mama! Or anyone who wants to play at being a home schooling mama! This is for YOU! I think it would be funny to whip up one of these applications, but play it totally straight--tell Doug Phillips the tool that you want to be an intern because you want field work experience for your future sociology/anthropology Ph.D program. Or something like that.

Also...I was thinking (I do that every now and again)...does this application ask anything about the church the lucky young man goes to? I didn't see anything on the pics Buzzard posted. I wonder what they would think about a home schooled boy who was also an attendee at Dad's Home Church (like the Duggar kids).

[justlurking]

Richard has been distracted by a wine tasting tonight so we will have to tighten up his application before its submitted. I think some of his answers can be tailored a bit more. As for his picture... thats tough. I'm thinking some softcore male porn? Its tough because its crossing state lines so it has to be discreet yet the snark needs to speak strongly. Can someone photoshop a picture of his holy toolness with an anaconda?'

Doug Phillips is a tool

I can't find the link right now, but I once happened upon a blog of a youth pastor who enjoyed dressing up as Peter Pan and Little Lord Fauntleroy in his spare time. The pictures of that man would be PERFECT to accompany Richard's application!

[lilith]

Hardcore gay sex is one thing that Vision Forum interns are expressly prohibited from seeing; whether it is because Doug Phillips is a giant tool or a hypocrite is debated by critics of Vision Forum Ministries.

(just taking Emmiedahl's advice... ;) )

So......

Doug Phillips is a tool who doesn't like his interns watching hardcore gay sex . They are only allowed to watch boobs, hot cheerleaders and Doug Phillips being a tool. Big breasted young blondes, Doug Phillips is a tool, porn, threesomes and gay fantasies make Doug Phillips the tool harshly discipline his Vision Forum interns.

That sort of thing?

And I'm truly not trying to be gratuitous with all the sex. I just remember reading somewhere that the top fifty or so google search terms are consistently sex related and figured that this would help the Doug Phillips is a tool campaign. And what a worthy campaign it is.

[Marian the Librarian]

All hail, Buzzard! Please, please mail it in?

Oh, and have I mentioned lately - Doug Phillips is a tool!

[Funky Chicken]

Years "home educated" could include the years young Dick has spent in a "home for wayward and disturbed young persons", or as we say here, "prison", or as I believe the US-ians would say, juvenile hall? There's one here called "Cavan Training Centre" where young criminals learn new and different techniques from each other... Not that Doug Phillips would realize that some of these institutions are called "homes" because DOUG PHILLIPS IS A TOOL.

Edited because not only is Doug Phillips a tool, I needed to make some things plural and others singular. Doug Phillips is a singular tool, with plural tool-isms.

[Buzzard]

Years "home educated" could include the years young Dick has spent in a "home for wayward and disturbed young persons", or as we say here, "prison", or as I believe the US-ians would say, juvenile hall? There's one here called "Cavan Training Centre" where young criminals learn new and different techniques from each other... Not that Doug Phillips would realize that some of these institutions are called "homes" because DOUG PHILLIPS IS A TOOL.

Edited because not only is Doug Phillips a tool, I needed to make some things plural and others singular. Doug Phillips is a singular tool, with plural tool-isms.

Interesting... perhaps our young Mittens was under house arrest and thats why he left the heathen school...

[ladypuglover]

Doug Phillips is a tool.

That is all.

[synchroswimr]

Last time I worked in SEO, I learned it works best if the term is in the middle of organic-looking text. Especially if the text is related to the term. So something like, "While I was watching the Hunger Games, it occurred to me that Vision Forum interns will never do anything like this because Doug Phillips is a tool."

The other way works fine though, and is definitely funnier, so carry on.

Does it also help to bring things up on the Google ratings if people search for Doug Phillips, then click on the link to this thread? Right now the thread is on the 7th page of results.

To help the campaign... I didn't watch the Hunger Games movie, but I know that Doug Phillips is a tool.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

Hey! Did anyone know that Doug Philips is a tool?

I just wanted to add that Doug Philips is a tool.

[FlorenceHamilton]

Today is Marijuana day. Doug Phillips is a tool.

Today is Hitler's Birthday. Doug Phillips is a tool.

Gay porn is something Vision Forum Interns should avoid. Doug Phillips is a tool.

Doug Phillips is a tool when he celebrates Titanic disasters.

In fact, everything Vision Forum promotes shows that Doug Phillips is a tool.

[Olive Plant]

I like smoking marijuana because Doug Phillips is a tool and it's a good way to forget.

4/20 is celebrated by people who think Doug Phillips is a tool.

Hitler's birthday is a good day to celebrate that Doug Phillips is a tool also.

The Hunger Games likewise proves that Doug Phillips is a tool.

Google, which is a good search engine, will soon reveal that Doug Phillips is a tool.

[twin2]

It has now been laid upon my heart to google Doug Phillips at least 5 times a day and click on the link for this page so that all may know that Doug Phillips is a tool. Praise google for all its greatness! I love to google. Because of google the world may now know that Doug Phillips is a tool. Who may use google and discover that Doug Phillips is a tool: President Obama in Washington DC, Mitt Romeny on his primary tour, Tim Tebow now in New York playing for the Jets, Peyton Manning may google and find out Doug Phillips is a tool. Brad Pitt may google from the set of his new movie. I do not know if Rick Santorum may google Doug Phillips and find out he is a tool but I do think that Chris Cristie will google to find out if Doug Phillips is a tool while is is being considered for a Vice President Run. Perez Hilton may google, he would definitely agree that Doug Phillips is a tool. The Pope does not google, however nuns do google and they will know that Doug Phillips is a tool.

[Sola]

I'm sat here wonder if Doug Phillips has ever seen 2 girls 1 cup because Doug Phillips is a tool. I suspect that he has probably googled Meatspin as that seems to be his thing and Doug Phillips is a tool. Then of course if Beall is looking for recipes she can always go to Lemonparty because Doug Phillips is a tool.

(for the sake of your eyeballs people, if you don't know what those websites are, don't go to them! They are NSFW and Doug Phillips is a tool!)

Doug Phillips is a tool!

[Witsec7]

I forgot to submit Richard's second letter of rec. He will spend an hour in the prayer closet for this one...

I do hope that Richard can meet a courtship worthy lady while he is interning. Doug Phillips is a tool.

[Kitty]

Nationwide, many kids have skipped school today to smoke weed because Doug Phillips is a tool. At least five children stayed home, not to smoke weed, but because the 46,000 members of One Million Moms thought it would be a good idea to yank them out of school on the Day of Silence sponsored by GSLEN... because Doug Phillips is the tooliest of all tools.

[Buzzard]

bramblewoodfashion.com/2012/03/christian-filmmakers-academy-san.html

I dont recall seeing all these pics together. We have Doug phillips, the tool of all tools, Kirky Dirk, Botkins... the gangs all here!

[Vex]

I couldn't think of a German insult that is really it's equal, so:

Doug Phillips ist ein tool.

And Kirk Cameron, you're not too far behind him these days...

[BlueberryBird]

Oh God...the "sinking ship of my heart" and the purple crayon...

I need to start working "sinking ship of my heart" into my daily conversation.