Day of Reckoning for Violence Against Women Act

[Glass Cowcatcher]

Today, listening to the radio, I heard a panel discussing the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. As of typing this, the bill has passed the Senate but House republicans are, once again, upholding their reputation as the party of 'No.'

While there may be some legitimate criticisms of this bill--it hasn't actually been fully funded, and it focuses too broadly on categories of victims, this seems to be the opinion of many people on the Right:

(God almighty, reading anything by Schlafly makes me cringe!)

Starting with its title, Violence Against Women, its fundamental assumption is that men are naturally batterers and women are naturally victims.

In other words, men are always guilty, and women must always be believed without fear of being punished for perjury. VAWA assumes there is no violence against men, and it doesn't provide services for men who are victims of domestic violence.

The feminists have so broadened the definition of domestic violence that it doesn't have to be violent and can usually be whatever a woman alleges. Definitions of domestic violence include vague and overbroad concepts such as emotional distress, harassment, annoyance or merely unpleasant speech...

Instead of promoting divorce, breakup of marriage and hatred of men, VAWA should be revised to encourage counseling when appropriate and voluntary. Some VAWA money should be used for programs to help couples terminate use of illegal drugs and reduce the use of alcohol

http://townhall.com/columnists/phyllisschlafly/2012/02/07/day_of_reckoning_for_violence_against_women_act

First I want to put a disclaimer. I think that more could be done to raise awareness of female-on-male violence and I know the rates at which it happens are disputed. I don't want to diminish the severity of the problem but I do think that, for a variety of reasons, male-on-female violence is more common, more difficult for the victims to escape, and has more longterm effects.

That said, this kind of thing just makes my blood boil. :twisted: The insinuation is that because some women might lie about their partners, then all abuse claims must be fabricated. They also dismiss all types of abuse that do not involve physical violence.

I am bringing this up because I firmly believe that, now that the right has a toehold in knocking down contraceptive access, the whole "feminists control family court and the men are being screwed over!" is going to be the next tactic used to rescind women's rights--and this one is going to cost a lot more lives than screwing around with medical care.

[MyNameIsJonas]

Instead of promoting divorce, breakup of marriage and hatred of men, VAWA should be revised to encourage counseling when appropriate and voluntary. Some VAWA money should be used for programs to help couples terminate use of illegal drugs and reduce the use of alcohol

http://townhall.com/columnists/phyllisschlafly/2012/02/07/day_of_reckoning_for_violence_against_women_act.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

http://townhall.com/columnists/phyllisschlafly/2012/02/07/day_of_reckoning_for_violence_against_women_act.

So if one day my boyfriend decided to beat my ass, we should sit down and talk it out? I should agree to counseling and promote the sickening false-thinking that my abuser will wake up one day and change because we had a few heart to hearts with a psychiatrist? Fuck outta here, seriously. And what's with the mention of using drugs and alcohol? Funny how they say that VAWA labels all men as abusers when they're turning around a putting a junkie label on every couple that has domestic violence issues.

[demgirl]

I can't even anymore with these a-holes.

[Kelya]

So if one day my boyfriend decided to beat my ass, we should sit down and talk it out? I should agree to counseling and promote the sickening false-thinking that my abuser will wake up one day and change because we had a few heart to hearts with a psychiatrist? Fuck outta here, seriously. And what's with the mention of using drugs and alcohol? Funny how they say that VAWA labels all men as abusers when they're turning around a putting a junkie label on every couple that has domestic violence issues.

Very good point!

I think what they want to ignore is that in many, many, cases, the abuse is inherent in a person's worldview or personality. Substances and stress may bring out the tendencies, but does not often cause them.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

For some reason we don't like to recognize that abusers abuse. Plenty/many/most of people who are stressed out, in debt, in an unhappy marriage, who have difficult children, personal trauma, psychiatric illnesses, substance issues, or whatever the heck people want to use as a reason, DON'T abuse. Abusers abuse. Abuses use excuses as a way of validating their behavior and as a society we often let them away with it. I don't know why but I see it all the time in life, media, popular culture.

I think everyone can loose their temper or get overwhelmed and do abusive THINGS, but most people recognize it and then apologize to the person on the receiving end and try not to do it again.

Serial, pathological abuse is a completely different game and doesn't magically go away when the abuser is made aware of the behavior or is threatened with some consequence.

[liltwinstar]

Just because men can be victims of violence as well as women, does that mean we *ignore* and marginalize the female victims?

I also don't see much conservative hand-wringing over the fact that violence can occur in same sex relationships...you'd think that if they were that concerned about men and about "fairness", they'd want to extend protection to men who are victimized by their male partners. But for some reason I'm not seeing that...huh, wonder why that is??? :roll:

Having been at one time a victim in a verbally abusive relationship...asshole abused me just fine when he was sober (which he was 99.9% of the time). Alcohol/drugs had absolutely nothing to do with it.

[FJismyheadship]

I was verbally abused by a man. He made of feel like the lowest foulest thing on earth by looking at of with contempt and hatred and like i was gross... And yelling at of about the stupidest stuff. I never thought i would be a victim of anything of the sort... And it wasnt until three or four months later that i started to get over that and a little longer than that to realize that it was abuse. If warmt in my life for long but it was enough that coupled with everything else bad in my life i punk to the deepest darkest point of my life. Fortunately my ex came along when if did and rescued of from that hell hole... Having a guy that treated me like I was special definately helped in the healing process. I an so grateful i didnt have to endure it long very but i know these are others who do. By the way what are the laws in regard to emotional abuse? Just curious.

[koolmom]

Yes, why is drug abuse lumped in with domestic violence? My dad was stone cold sober, never drank, but was as abusive as the day was long. While I don't agree there should be some efforts put forth to address drug use in general, what perspective do they offer in this arena that hasn't or isn't being done already? Oh, Mrs. Schlafly, what do you recommend when this so-called "counseling" doesn't work, or the Mr. is a manipulator who talks the talk, but turns around and is a bald-faced liar?

[debrand]

I am coming to the conclusion that Republicans are terrified of women.

[2xx1xy1JD]

So here's a description of the Violence Against Women Act:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_Against_Women_Act

Why on earth would anyone have a problem making sure that victims can access shelters and transitional housing, or services in their own language, or in making sure that protection orders are actually enforced, or in keeping a registry of stalkers?

Yes, not all domestic violence involves men beating a heterosexual female partner. No, the solution is not to repeal existing legislation, but rather to expand services. I would love to see a shelter for men with children, and a public campaign aimed at men designed to break through some of the minimizing and denial that I see. Services for victims of same-sex violence are also needed. [While violence against women in more common in my practice, I've had cases involving very serious violence against men, some of it near-fatal. In my experience, men are reluctant to ever consider themselves to be victims and often refuse to press charges, because they see it as a sign of weakness.] While men are more likely to feel culturally entitled to abuse, both men and women can have problems with severe mental illness or addiction or a history of trauma and abuse in their lives. I agree that alcohol doesn't CAUSE violent behavior, but rather reduces one's inhibitions. Crack, though, will cause addicts to do just about anything.

[Swamptribe]

It's all about denial. Violence against women is exaggerated, because, well, they just can't imagine men doing that sort of thing. Those women must be whiners, or have been asking for it. If the women folk would just learn their proper place, all this talk of violence would just melt away.....

Pardon me, I must go sanitize my fingers for typing the above.

[LynnKaboom]

First I want to put a disclaimer. I think that more could be done to raise awareness of female-on-male violence and I know the rates at which it happens are disputed. I don't want to diminish the severity of the problem but I do think that, for a variety of reasons, male-on-female violence is more common, more difficult for the victims to escape, and has more longterm effects.

I know someone who was the victim of female-on-male DV. It was serious business- she threatened him repeatedly, tried to kill his cat, threw shit at him all the time and once pulled a knife on him when she thought he was cheating on her. I actually had him hide in my basement for a few days since his crazy bitch of an ex-girlfriend didn't know where I live. The worst part of it was that no one believed him when tried to get help, because seriously, what kinda woman beats the shit out of a man, amirite lulz? But the solution isn't to repeal existing laws against DV against women, what they need to do is expand the laws to help protect everyone.

[Iamthatbean]

So here's a description of the Violence Against Women Act:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_Against_Women_Act

Why on earth would anyone have a problem making sure that victims can access shelters and transitional housing, or services in their own language, or in making sure that protection orders are actually enforced, or in keeping a registry of stalkers?

Yes, not all domestic violence involves men beating a heterosexual female partner. No, the solution is not to repeal existing legislation, but rather to expand services. I would love to see a shelter for men with children, and a public campaign aimed at men designed to break through some of the minimizing and denial that I see. Services for victims of same-sex violence are also needed. [While violence against women in more common in my practice, I've had cases involving very serious violence against men, some of it near-fatal. In my experience, men are reluctant to ever consider themselves to be victims and often refuse to press charges, because they see it as a sign of weakness.] While men are more likely to feel culturally entitled to abuse, both men and women can have problems with severe mental illness or addiction or a history of trauma and abuse in their lives. I agree that alcohol doesn't CAUSE violent behavior, but rather reduces one's inhibitions. Crack, though, will cause addicts to do just about anything.

The shelter I stayed in offers hotel rooms at local hotels under a "safe" name as well as full case management services to men. They have had men in their "step 3" transitional housing program as well, although it is rare a man stays that long. While I have huge issues with how society views abuse against men, at least here (and from what I understand it isn't uncommon everywhere) services are available. Also, there were 2 women coming out of same sex abusive relationships in my shelter during the 4 months I was there

[GolightlyGrrl]

I know someone who was the victim of female-on-male DV. It was serious business- she threatened him repeatedly, tried to kill his cat, threw shit at him all the time and once pulled a knife on him when she thought he was cheating on her. I actually had him hide in my basement for a few days since his crazy bitch of an ex-girlfriend didn't know where I live. The worst part of it was that no one believed him when tried to get help, because seriously, what kinda woman beats the shit out of a man, amirite lulz? But the solution isn't to repeal existing laws against DV against women, what they need to do is expand the laws to help protect everyone.

THIS! Domestic abuse is no joke. It needs to be taken seriously no matter the victim, man, woman or child.

Phyllis Schlafly is such an unfeeling cunt. I don't think this "woman" has an empathetic bone in her body. Of spousal rape she said, "By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape."

Rape is not sex. Sex is an act of love, or at least lust. Rape is an act of violence. You think being a lawyer she would know that.

[Three and Done]

As a survivor of verbal, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse, I do feel that I have the right to throw the "BULLSHIT" flag!

Yes, there are some women that abuse men (my fiance was involved with a crazee that still messes with him today as they have a child), but the vast majority of abusers are MEN.

I was an abused child, and unfortunately found myself in numerous abusive relationships through the years. I have permanent injuries as a result of being physically assaulted by the last abusive ex.

It quite nearly pushes ME to the point of insanity to see what games the Republicans play with our lives. :evil: :angry-fire: :angry-screaming: