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The Duggar conundrum


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I think they're rude and "Duggar time" isn't cute. There is nothing cute, respectful, considerate, admirable or acceptable for ALWAYS being 1-2 hours late.

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This family in general is just plain rude and disrespectful. They have no good qualities as far as I'm concerned.

+ a million

possibly with the exceptions of Josiah and Justin (Josiah for the little rebellion over baby 20 and Justin because... well we never see him, so we can hope he might have some good qualities)

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Sorry, but being a racist, sexist, homophobic, lazy, hateful, Grade-A jackass who eats his weight in food each day just doesn't define "nice guy" to me.

It's not like Josh will ever amount to anything more than his father's shadow at the rate that he's going. I had high hopes for him, but he doesn't seem to have any ambitions of his own. Plus, he probably thinks, if Santorum becomes President, he can sail into a nice cushy government job (which one that I'd like to know). The only thing is, those jobs tend to be a lot more work than Josh has ever done, and they usually require some sort of higher learning, if the work is to be done properly. Josh hasn't a clue what the real world is like.

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There is nothing wrong with rowdy kids. While there are many things that I dislike about the Duggar's - I like that those little kids are able to run around and play outside and seem to genuinely enjoy themselves. I would be much more concerned if they were sitting there like stepford children.

Just because we have all been trained to believe that the "best" children sit quietly for long periods of time doesn't make it right.

This really is the worst of black and white, all-or-nothing thinking. The kids are behaved terribly. It's never acceptable to ride a trike in a store, and they are really pushing it with walking around on their kitchen table. They shouldn't do those things, but they also shouldn't be stepford children. Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp? It is possible for children to learn boundaries without being completely stifled. There's a time and place for energetic behavior, and some of these kids clearly do not know the difference. And if there are behavioral problems, which is likely in any group of kids this size, then their parents are doubly failing them because they aren't getting the therapy they need.

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There is nothing wrong with rowdy kids. While there are many things that I dislike about the Duggar's - I like that those little kids are able to run around and play outside and seem to genuinely enjoy themselves. I would be much more concerned if they were sitting there like stepford children.

Just because we have all been trained to believe that the "best" children sit quietly for long periods of time doesn't make it right.

I think the children are just behaving as most young children would act when basically left to their own devices and give very little structure. I have no problem with children running around outside, getting all their young energy out. However, we have seen many, many instances of these children running amok inside their home, and inside the home they rented when Josie was born. Riding trikes in the house, dragging wagons around, using outdoor voices inside, climbing up onto countertops, playing dangerously without supervision on stairs, etc. This is not the fault of the children, but of their narcissistic, distant mother and idiot father. The parents are not raising well-behaved children. Any manners these children have, they learned from their sister moms.

This born again heathen still believes in teaching children behavior appropriate to place and situation. The Duggars apparently do not. I am always puzzled when people describe the Duggar children as well-behaved.

I am even more puzzled when they describe them as hard-working. Yes, the older girls work like horses so Mrs. Duggar can sit on her ass all day. But none of the lot have been given the training or education to actually go out and get a real job. They work hard selling themselves as a commodity, but i don't find that particularly admirable.

Josh is a pompous, ignorant, prematurely aging fool. If this is the best the Duggar parents could produce, then they did a craptastic job. The little kids are cute and I wish they had a better chance in the world. The older girls are carrying the weight of raising their siblings and running the household. The older boys seem to float around doing very little. Why anyone would admire this family is beyond me.

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I think they're rude and "Duggar time" isn't cute. There is nothing cute, respectful, considerate, admirable or acceptable for ALWAYS being 1-2 hours late.

This too. If a working single mother showed up 2 hours late to her job and got fired, the Duggars would have no sympathy and would just lecture about bootstraps and being debt-free. But somehow it's not irresponsible when they do it because they are just so fucking special. Chronic lateness is one of the things that bothers me the most. It's just a matter of basic respect for others that you do your best to be on time. There are legitimate reasons for being late, but if the only reason is that you've never learned from the past that your sorry excuse for a schedule isn't working, then I have no sympathy. For all Michelle loves to brag about running a large household, she's doing a poor job of it. Why anyone would aspire to be like her is beyond me.

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This really is the worst of black and white, all-or-nothing thinking. The kids are behaved terribly. It's never acceptable to ride a trike in a store, and they are really pushing it with walking around on their kitchen table. They shouldn't do those things, but they also shouldn't be stepford children. Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp? It is possible for children to learn boundaries without being completely stifled. There's a time and place for energetic behavior, and some of these kids clearly do not know the difference. And if there are behavioral problems, which is likely in any group of kids this size, then their parents are doubly failing them because they aren't getting the therapy they need.

Exactly. And I'm surprised one of the little ones hasn't been seriously hurt, especially considering how they allow all of them to hang on, over and around staircases.

I've got no problem with kids being rambunctious outside, but let's face it, that main room of theirs is usually more wild than the chimpanzee house at the zoo. How any of the adult children can stand living there is beyond me. Although I suppose it's better than being on the bus with them....

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There is nothing about the Duggars, particularly JB and Michelle, that I admire. I cannot admire parents that insist on keeping their children, especially the adult ones, ignorant of the world. Raising uneducated children is not a reason to be proud. Raising your children to raise their siblings is laziness on your part.

There are now four or five adult duggar kids, minus Josh. In no way do they live adult lives. They can't eat, dress, read or go anywhere unless approved by Daddy or Mommy. They are adults legally but children in every other way. Joyanna and Jill live the exact same life. The only difference is that Jill has a driver's license. How is that admirable?

Although I like the kids, I don't believe that they are any more well-bred or respectful than kids in the regular world. When the kids are well behaved, which can be rare, it is more likely out of fear than anything else. I like the older girls but they are not examples that I would want my future daughters to follow. These are girls raised to believe that their only value is cooking, cleaning and baby-making. They live in a world where they are led to believe that they are nothing without a man because he has all the answers directly from God. The girls cannot have any opinion that differs from their parents. They can't even date someone unless daddy decides it is ok. How do you admire parents that raise their daughters to be victims? That is what bothers me most, I fear those girls getting into arranged marriages, which courting is, and getting stuck with men who abuse them based on his authority. I can only imagine the rampant abuse in the ATI world and women afraid to leave because they don't know they have a right do so.

All of the Duggar kids, sans Josh, are so stunted, it would be very tough for them to leave the TTh. Throw them out into the world and I believe that they will be completely lost because they have no sense of how to survive. Put your average 16 year-old out there and they will figure it out with some trial and error. I can't say the same for the Duggar kids. They were raised to be puppets and without the puppetmaster (JB), they are pretty much fucked.

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This too. If a working single mother showed up 2 hours late to her job and got fired, the Duggars would have no sympathy and would just lecture about bootstraps and being debt-free. But somehow it's not irresponsible when they do it because they are just so fucking special. Chronic lateness is one of the things that bothers me the most. It's just a matter of basic respect for others that you do your best to be on time. There are legitimate reasons for being late, but if the only reason is that you've never learned from the past that your sorry excuse for a schedule isn't working, then I have no sympathy. For all Michelle loves to brag about running a large household, she's doing a poor job of it. Why anyone would aspire to be like her is beyond me.

On top of that- one of their 49 Gothard approved character qualities that they "teach" their children is....PUNCTUALITY!

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I'm not against homeschooling because it is actually what is best for some children. HOWEVER, the thing that is troubling with the Duggars is that they teach their children what they want them to know. Back when I use to watch the show, I remember the Duggars taught their children about the theory of Evolution BUT then they also made sure that they told them that it's not the right way to think.

There is no freedom of thought at all...it's quite sad!

Um no, the Duggar offspring have not learned the real facts about evolution. They have learned the same ignorant bullshit that every ignorant evolution denier spouts, as evidenced by Boob telling the cameras that "[He] didn't come from a monkey" and that carbon dating is highly inaccurate. They have been brainwashed to believe that evolution is some kind of atheistic nonsense put forth to test their beliefs in their precious Jebus and that it has less evidence to support it than their fucking fairy tale bullshit called Creationism.

Sorry, this one makes my blood boil like none other, esp being in a state where dumbfuck conservative politicians want my child to learn this YEC nonsense in fucking SCIENCE class.

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OK, I don't really watch the Duggars so can't weigh in on how well-behaved the children are.

I wonder if the divergence of opinion boils down to how they look. White and conservatively groomed child or teen = +50 good behavior points before any behavior is observed. Baggy-pantsed/hoody-wearing/skinny-jeaned/tattoed/pierced/black/brown/immigrant child or teen = -50 good behavior points before any behavior is observed.

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I think they're rude and "Duggar time" isn't cute. There is nothing cute, respectful, considerate, admirable or acceptable for ALWAYS being 1-2 hours late.

So true.

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OK, I don't really watch the Duggars so can't weigh in on how well-behaved the children are.

I wonder if the divergence of opinion boils down to how they look. White and conservatively groomed child or teen = +50 good behavior points before any behavior is observed. Baggy-pantsed/hoody-wearing/skinny-jeaned/tattoed/pierced/black/brown/immigrant child or teen = -50 good behavior points before any behavior is observed.

QFT.

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OK, I don't really watch the Duggars so can't weigh in on how well-behaved the children are.

I wonder if the divergence of opinion boils down to how they look. White and conservatively groomed child or teen = +50 good behavior points before any behavior is observed. Baggy-pantsed/hoody-wearing/skinny-jeaned/tattoed/pierced/black/brown/immigrant child or teen = -50 good behavior points before any behavior is observed.

I never quite thought of it like that, but now that I think about it this actually does seem true. It's sad, but it's true.

Admittedly I do think the older girls (& JD) are well behaved. I'm not going to speak to any of the younger ones as I can't tell them a part as well. Sadly though, although it may be natural for JD, I feel like the girls have been forced into this good behavior thing.

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I think out of the older boys, John and Joseph are hardworking. Jana, Jill, Jessa, and Jinger are hard workers at home, but they don't any have work experience or even a few job skills. If they had to work outside the home they might encounter problems trying to enter the workforce. Childcare jobs would be a possibility, but I can see them having various problems in different workplaces because they are extremely sheltered.

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Childcare jobs would be a possibility

Depends on the place. A crappy child care place that essentially just warehouses little kids? Sure. A good child care institution that requires trained workers who are able to engage the children on a proper developmental level? No chance.

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When my kids went to daycare, the lead teachers had BAs and the assistants had AAs. There were minimum wage "helpers" who did laundry and gave breaks, I think they were basically untrained like the Duggar girls.

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I agree valsa, it would depend on the types of childcare places. My cousin's girlfriend is currently in college to get a degree in early childhood education. She works at a daycare center in which the assistants are all college students with education majors. There is another daycare in my area that tries to hire people with degrees or people in college for certain degrees.

The Duggar girls might be able to find at daycare centers that don't focus on education too much. I could maybe see them getting jobs as nannies, but many couples who have nannies do deep background checks. The Duggars have promoted TTUAC before and their connections to Gothard don't put them in the best light.

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Where the heck do you live Devils Island? Josh is a racist lout, and inconsiderate husband, and a lazy unfeeling cad.

If I were you I'd move.

I actually live at a major university in the Midwest, although I'm sure the Duggars would think it to be Devil's Island. The point is that Josh never had the chance to go to college. He never got the chance to be an adolescent. He went from being a child to an adult, married with kids. He's a little immature for his age. He tweets things and posts comments on pictures that are ignorant, racist, and inconsiderate. Trust me, I am surrounded by young men just like him. He certainly isn't perfect, but I think the ignorance is something he'll grow out of, especially if he leaves the church that he grew up in which pretty much perpetuates ignorance.

On the bright side, he may have his bad husband moments, but he seems to genuinely love his children. That's more than I can say for my own father or millions of fathers in this country. It's a small thing but shouldn't be taken lightly.

And the thing is, except for his parents, he is the worst of the Duggars. His sisters and the younger children seem to be very well behaved. Their parents are giving them a huge disadvantage in life, and it's sad. But it's not their fault they were raised in the craziness that they were and I feel like they are very sincere children and young adults. I can't help but like them. That's just my two cents.

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Guest Anonymous

Even though Josh never got be an adolescent, he should be able to tell by the people around me (non-family that is) and realize a grown man with a wife and kids should act more maturely.

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I actually live at a major university in the Midwest, although I'm sure the Duggars would think it to be Devil's Island. The point is that Josh never had the chance to go to college. He never got the chance to be an adolescent. He went from being a child to an adult, married with kids. He's a little immature for his age. He tweets things and posts comments on pictures that are ignorant, racist, and inconsiderate. Trust me, I am surrounded by young men just like him. He certainly isn't perfect, but I think the ignorance is something he'll grow out of, especially if he leaves the church that he grew up in which pretty much perpetuates ignorance.Stop making excuses for him, I live in a Uni town as well. I won't excuse racism or sexism or mocking kids with disabilities and I have no problem confronting students in public about these behaviors

On the bright side, he may have his bad husband moments, but he seems to genuinely love his children. That's more than I can say for my own father or millions of fathers in this country. It's a small thing but shouldn't be taken lightly.Sounds like your issues are clouded by a television image you are buying into

And the thing is, except for his parents, he is the worst of the Duggars. His sisters and the younger children seem to be very well behaved. Kids climbing on counters, jumping on furniture, walking on tables, mocking people of other ethnicities is not good behavior IMHOTheir parents are giving them a huge disadvantage in life, and it's sad. But it's not their fault they were raised in the craziness that they were and I feel like they are very sincere children and young adults. I can't help but like them. That's just my two cents.So you make excuses for them because you like an image sold by TV



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Sounds like your issues are clouded by a television image you are buying into

Exactly. Besides, when did being slightly better than abject failure become something even a little admirable? You don't get participation trophies in parenting.

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Exactly. Besides, when did being slightly better than abject failure become something even a little admirable? You don't get participation trophies in parenting.

Media is a big influence on how we perceive folks. Some folks buy into the image presented as a commodity to be sold. I'd further comment on Audreys POV but the only retort I could come up with would be ageist.

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On the bright side, he may have his bad husband moments, but he seems to genuinely love his children. That's more than I can say for my own father or millions of fathers in this country. It's a small thing but shouldn't be taken lightly.

I see Anna being a very good mother on the show. I haven't enough of Josh's interactions with his kids to draw any conclusions about how good or poor a father he is.

He does come across as exceptionally selfish and juvenile, particularly in his on-line (and hence, unedited) comments, and frankly I don't think that bodes well.

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