How do the Duggars teach their kids about sex?

[luckystone]

reminds me of when I was about 4. With 3 sisters and my Mum I knew what a Vagina was, and for some reason the topic of penis'es hadn't come up yet (or if it did I just didn't know/remember) until I walked past the bathroom oneday and saw my dad drying himself off after a shower and asked why does daddy have a hanging vagina? *snort*

hahahahaha

Funny tampon story. I got my period when I was 10. When I was 11 or so I wanted to go swimming in the summer so my mom taught me how to use a tampon. She didn't demonstrate but she said, "you hold it here, push it in until your fingers touch your skin, and then you push it all the way up." I go "... all the way?" and she said yes. What she forgot to tell me was that you push the tube into the tampon base and pull the applicator out. I thought you shoved the whole damn thing, applicator and all, up there, fully stretched, and leave it. Let me tell you, I'm surprised I didn't damage my insides! It hurt so bad every time I even slightly bent my torso!!! I pulled it out after an hour, I couldn't take it. I refused to use them after and told my mom they hurt too much. She was surprised, but I was young and she wasn't gonna push it on me. About a year later I saw a used applicator in the trash, got confused. I got a tampon and played around with it. I felt like such an idiot when the cotton tampon came out. I understood what she meant after that. You can be sure I won't make that mistake with my daughter!

I don't understand how applicators work. Almost all tampons here in Australia come without them. I noticed they are very common in America - I can't imagine how to use them, sounds harder lol

[lilith]

I don't understand how applicators work. Almost all tampons here in Australia come without them. I noticed they are very common in America - I can't imagine how to use them, sounds harder lol

I know. I've always looked at applicators and wondered why - they complicate such a simple procedure.

[heinz57]

I know. I've always looked at applicators and wondered why - they complicate such a simple procedure.

So that you don't stick your finger up your vagina! Some women really have some hangups about that...

[BlondeAgent007]

So that you don't stick your finger up your vagina! Some women really have some hangups about that...

Yeah... that. I've used ones without applicators and with. I don't have a problem with sticking my finger in my vagina normally, but not when it's bleeding severely. Less mess. Also, when I use one without an applicator I don't feel like I get it in far enough and securely enough. The cotton tampon you have to use some force the whole time to get it in. The applicator glides in easier and, for me, makes the process smoother. Or it could due to the fact that I have short, stubby fingers. Once you understand the applicator, it's a very simple and easy to use device, I promise!!

[lilith]

So that you don't stick your finger up your vagina! Some women really have some hangups about that...

So it's better to stick some cardboard up there? I just don't get the hangup, no one would say masturbation was dirtier with ones fingers than a vibrator.

And you wash your hands, and they hardly go up far. Better than unsteralised cardboard in my opinion....

[Deleted03]

I got my first period when I was 10. I think 12 or 13 is the average age, but lots of girls start younger. I'm so glad I wasn't in a fundie household because I wouldn't have been educated until after 2 years of bleeding. My mom never had a specific "the talk" with me. She just answered questions as they came up. I barged in on her in the bathroom and she told me about periods. I still didn't like the idea that it was gonna happen to me, but at least I knew it was a normal thing that nearly all women go through. Plus my pediatrician told me when I had my annual physical at age 9 that my period would start within a year, so I was ready for it. When I actually first got it, I was at a sleepover at my best friend's house. I did call my mom to tell her and she brought me some pads, but other than that I just went on with my life and it wasn't a big deal. My friend's mom asked if I wanted to go home, and I just couldn't understand why I should want to give up the fun of a sleepover because of something completely normal. It wasn't until much later that I realized many girls didn't view it as casually as I did.

I don't know what that person was thinking but the day I got my period, I was home from school because I was in pain. So if that woman usually experiences pain, I understand why she offered you this opportunity.

[snarkbillie]

Toxic shock syndrome caused by tampon usage is extremely rare and like many things, prevention comes down to simple good hygiene. If you use the lowest absorbancy for your flow and change frequently, it isn't going to happen.

I can't imagine what the last nearly 40 years of my life would have been like without them and hope you don't let your own fears influence your daughter not to give them a try. Freedom. It's a good thing.

I think I'll probably let her use them if she asks but I'll probably annoy the crap out of her in the beginning about "remember to change them when you're supposed to" and all that. I have serious anxiety about it that's probably completely unwarranted. I hope that she eases into tampon use by like using them for swimming at first.

[Deleted03]

I think I'll probably let her use them if she asks but I'll probably annoy the crap out of her in the beginning about "remember to change them when you're supposed to" and all that. I have serious anxiety about it that's probably completely unwarranted. I hope that she eases into tampon use by like using them for swimming at first.

there are tons of options: cloth pads, menstrual cups, disposable cups, etc. You can also use ecological tampons, they are not bleached, less chemicals in them, better for her health :)

[snarkbillie]

there are tons of options: cloth pads, menstrual cups, disposable cups, etc. You can also use ecological tampons, they are not bleached, less chemicals in them, better for her health :)

I use cloth pads/menstrual cups so I would hope that she would go that route, but it's her body so I don't want to really press her in one way or another. I feel like she should make these choices, I just need to get over some of my old biases/anxieties.

[snarkbillie]

there are tons of options: cloth pads, menstrual cups, disposable cups, etc. You can also use ecological tampons, they are not bleached, less chemicals in them, better for her health :)

I use cloth pads/menstrual cups so I would hope that she would go that route, but it's her body so I don't want to really press her in one way or another. I feel like she should make these choices, I just need to get over some of my old biases/anxieties.

[Deleted03]

I use cloth pads/menstrual cups so I would hope that she would go that route, but it's her body so I don't want to really press her in one way or another. I feel like she should make these choices, I just need to get over some of my old biases/anxieties.

oh yeah I just meant, you know show her all the different possibilities and encourage her to try them before she makes a decision :)

I personally had only the options of pads, but then when I tried tampons when I was on my own, I did like them better than pads, but still did not like them that much. :)

[heinz57]

I use cloth pads/menstrual cups so I would hope that she would go that route, but it's her body so I don't want to really press her in one way or another. I feel like she should make these choices, I just need to get over some of my old biases/anxieties.

Just out of curiosity, how do you go about changing (or is it emptying? cleaning?) the cup when using public restrooms (I mean the ones that have a row of cubicles and the sinks are outside). I'm asking seriously, I'm a tampon-only girl and have no clue how a cup works in practice.

[DarkAnts]

Just out of curiosity, how do you go about changing (or is it emptying? cleaning?) the cup when using public restrooms (I mean the ones that have a row of cubicles and the sinks are outside). I'm asking seriously, I'm a tampon-only girl and have no clue how a cup works in practice.

First I wipe the cup down with toilet paper. Then I use a wet wipe on it. I keep some single use wet wipes in my purse. They are also handy to clean glasses and hearing aids.

[heinz57]

First I wipe the cup down with toilet paper. Then I use a wet wipe on it. I keep some single use wet wipes in my purse. They are also handy to clean glasses and hearing aids.

Makes sense. Thanks for explaining!

[snarkbillie]

Just out of curiosity, how do you go about changing (or is it emptying? cleaning?) the cup when using public restrooms (I mean the ones that have a row of cubicles and the sinks are outside). I'm asking seriously, I'm a tampon-only girl and have no clue how a cup works in practice.

I carry a peri-bottle with me when I'm on my period. After I had my baby they gave me one and I just thought it was a good thing, a little pampering. I rinse it out with that and shove it back in. I refill my peri-bottle when I'm washing my hands so it's ready for next time. I wash it with soap and water when I get home though.

Link in case people don't know what peri-bottles are: http://www.amazon.com/Lavette-Bottle-Pe ... B000VSXSX2

[pixydust]

Yeah... that. I've used ones without applicators and with. I don't have a problem with sticking my finger in my vagina normally, but not when it's bleeding severely. Less mess. Also, when I use one without an applicator I don't feel like I get it in far enough and securely enough. The cotton tampon you have to use some force the whole time to get it in. The applicator glides in easier and, for me, makes the process smoother. Or it could due to the fact that I have short, stubby fingers. Once you understand the applicator, it's a very simple and easy to use device, I promise!!

This! I've tried the ones without the aplicator and I can't get it right. I have really small hands, so I don't know if that's my problem or what, but they do not end up in the right place!

[Deleted03]

Makes sense. Thanks for explaining!

I personally only have to empty it twice a day, so it's not something I have to confront often.

We have a thread at "Ask me anything" viewtopic.php?f=16&t=8338

there are a lot of questions and answers :)

[BlondeAgent007]

So it's better to stick some cardboard up there? I just don't get the hangup, no one would say masturbation was dirtier with ones fingers than a vibrator.

And you wash your hands, and they hardly go up far. Better than unsteralised cardboard in my opinion....

The applicators are wrapped up in the same packaging as the tampon, and you dispose of it each time. I don't think that it would be any less sterile than a tampon.

Back to the topic on hand, I have a feeling the JSlaves understand the mechanics of sex beforehand, but I could see the boys in that family having no clue. The girls I would assume are responsible for bathtimes and diaper changes, so they would be the only ones who know what both parts actually look like. I'm sure half the boys in that family look at their penis and think, "where the hell would I put this thing? In her butt?"

[desertvixen]

Knowing the proper names for body parts is also extremely important should a child be sexually molested. Telling a police officer, parent, or teacher that someone touched their "peanut" or their "pussy" isn't nearly as damning as saying that someone touched their penis or vulva.

Personally, I think I'd be more squicked out that someone was teaching their small girl to call her vulva her pussy, but that's just me.

[Mela99]

Your feelings are normal and a part of life. You better pray that they go away.

I just don't get why they can't teach SELF-CONTROL. Accountability. Self respect??? Why is it wrong to say, "You're a strong, smart girl, and these feelings are okay, but you need to be careful about what you act on. You need to respect your body."

How is that anti-God? Why do they take the control from them? "SATAN IS MAKING YOU THINK ABOUT TEH BUTTSEX ZOMG YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK!" It's not... human, in their eyes.

[LadyBlue]

So it's better to stick some cardboard up there? I just don't get the hangup, no one would say masturbation was dirtier with ones fingers than a vibrator.

And you wash your hands, and they hardly go up far. Better than unsteralised cardboard in my opinion....

I'm glad I switched to menstrual cups years ago, because I'd have quit using tampons completely after this story http://jezebel.com/5897186/horrifying-m ... nightmares but at least you can examine the non-applicator ones before using them.

Only happens to me when I'm pregnant! (so never again!)

I'm 38 and I have never had it happen to me. I honestly didn't know it was possible for women until someone I follow on Twitter mentioned it.

[Witsec7]

Damn I'm so sorry for everyone here who doesn't have 'nice' ;) dreams. I've always found the concept of brain sex pretty powerful.

[bananacat]

I don't have sexual dreams very frequently, but I have had the occasional orgasm during sleep. It usually happens when I have my period, and I think it's because the extra moisture in my vagina tricks my body into thinking that it's already physically aroused or something. I wish I could have sexual dreams more frequently because I've had maybe 5 or 6 in my entire life, but it certainly can happen for women. However, if a fundie girl had an orgasm in her sleep, would she even know what it was? I actually started masturbating before I even knew there was a word for it, and at first I didn't even make the connection that I was doing something sexual (although I had the wisdom to keep it private because it involved my "bathing suit area" so I didn't do it out in public.) I doubt the Duggar girls have the freedom to explore like I did because they only get 10 minutes alone each day when they shower so it's possible that many of them haven't discovered masturbation, but those that have might not even realize what they're doing.

[Witsec7]

I don't have sexual dreams very frequently, but I have had the occasional orgasm during sleep. It usually happens when I have my period, and I think it's because the extra moisture in my vagina tricks my body into thinking that it's already physically aroused or something. I wish I could have sexual dreams more frequently because I've had maybe 5 or 6 in my entire life, but it certainly can happen for women. However, if a fundie girl had an orgasm in her sleep, would she even know what it was? I actually started masturbating before I even knew there was a word for it, and at first I didn't even make the connection that I was doing something sexual (although I had the wisdom to keep it private because it involved my "bathing suit area" so I didn't do it out in public.) I doubt the Duggar girls have the freedom to explore like I did because they only get 10 minutes alone each day when they shower so it's possible that many of them haven't discovered masturbation, but those that have might not even realize what they're doing.

When I was a child I practiced frotage, I think a lot of kids do. Rubbing against some stuff feels good. I inherently knew it was something for when I was alone in bed. Later I learned about masturbation. I don't think the girls can even practice frotage since none sleep alone.

[roddma]

Margaret White in "Carrie" called periods the Curse of blood. Poor Carrie had no clue about it.