How do the Duggars teach their kids about sex?

[pixydust]

wait it can happen to women? *going to sleep right now!* :lol:

Only happens to me when I'm pregnant! (so never again!)

[Witsec7]

...

Well no, that's the thing. When I was 14 I was still a virgin, so why 12 was "too young" and 14 was OK is puzzling. And my mother honestly didn't care when later I lived with my boyfriend "in sin" and didn't make any fuss about my virginity or "purity" or that crap.

One thing I'm learning from the 10K&C FB page is the folks who isolate their children by home schooling don't find a need to educate a daughter until the age of twelve. Gosh these kids don't know about breast buds or what to make of their own pubic hair. I find it sooo fucking appalling.

One would think sex ed begins the first time the child inquires about a pregnant woman or asks where babies come from. I get really angry when parents refuse to discuss natural body functions with their kids.

[heinz57]

One thing I'm learning from the 10K&C FB page is the folks who isolate their children by home schooling don't find a need to educate a daughter until the age of twelve. Gosh these kids don't know about breast buds or what to make of their own pubic hair. I find it sooo fucking appalling.

One would think sex ed begins the first time the child inquires about a pregnant woman or asks where babies come from. I get really angry when parents refuse to discuss natural body functions with their kids.

Really? Is there an episode on that?

I don't think my mom's considerations had anything "moral" to them - by the time I had my period I knew about making babies and my parents were hippyish (as much as you could be in a communist country) and I saw them naked. I think it was rather her -at times weird- ideas about health (for ex. she believes wearing tampons non-stop is "unhealthy").

I agree - the whole moment when things (hair, breasts) start growing is difficult even when you got things explained beforehand. I can only imagine how stressful it must be when nobody "warned" you ahead of time!

[GiggleOfGirls]

I've only ever had orgasms in my sleep when I was pregnant.

[Sprocket]

One thing I'm learning from the 10K&C FB page is the folks who isolate their children by home schooling don't find a need to educate a daughter until the age of twelve. Gosh these kids don't know about breast buds or what to make of their own pubic hair. I find it sooo fucking appalling.

One would think sex ed begins the first time the child inquires about a pregnant woman or asks where babies come from. I get really angry when parents refuse to discuss natural body functions with their kids.

I suggest that it starts as soon as the kid can talk. My kid is two and he says penis (and he says it a lot). Correctly identifying parts of your body is a way to take the shame out of sexual organs.

Semi funny story:

My oldest is going through a phase where he hates clothes. H-a-t-e-s clothes. He wants to be "nakey baby" all the time. The only time he will put clothes on is if he going somewhere, preferably Home Depot... it's like his Toys R Us. He begs to go because their carts have impossible to navigate cars attatched to them. Anywho, this morning he sat on a toy and started to cry. He runs over to me and says, "Owie, mama. Hurt penis. Kiss and make better pwease." Uh no, kid. You're on your own. I could write a book about the weird things that happens as a parent to boys. The first chapter would be entitled, 'The Time That My Son Peed In My Mouth".

[Witsec7]

I suggest that it starts as soon as the kid can talk. My kid is two and he says penis (and he says it a lot). Correctly identifying parts of your body is a way to take the shame out of sexual organs.

Semi funny story:

My oldest is going through a phase where he hates clothes. H-a-t-e-s clothes. He wants to be "nakey baby" all the time. The only time he will put clothes on is if he going somewhere, preferably Home Depot... it's like his Toys R Us. He begs to go because their carts have impossible to navigate cars attatched to them. Anywho, this morning he sat on a toy and started to cry. He runs over to me and says, "Owie, mama. Hurt penis. Kiss and make better pwease." Uh no, kid. You're on your own. I could write a book about the weird things that happens as a parent to boys. The first chapter would be entitled, 'The Time That My Son Peed In My Mouth".

Ya caught me Sprocket. I just assumed most parents would name all body parts. I forget just how obtuse the fundies are sometimes. I had a cute body parts song I made up for my DD. For the life of me I can't remember it. When I get the baby book out next week I'll check the lyrics.

[GiggleOfGirls]

I suggest that it starts as soon as the kid can talk. My kid is two and he says penis (and he says it a lot). Correctly identifying parts of your body is a way to take the shame out of sexual organs.

Yes, this. My girls say "vulva" and "vagina" and they knew the differences between them by the time they were about 4 years old because we talked about how the vagina is called the birth canal during a birth and it's where the babies come out. We haven't gotten to clitoris yet, but we will. There's time, the oldest is only 6.5 yo.

Knowing the proper names for body parts is also extremely important should a child be sexually molested. Telling a police officer, parent, or teacher that someone touched their "peanut" or their "pussy" isn't nearly as damning as saying that someone touched their penis or vulva.

[Sprocket]

Ya caught me Sprocket. I just assumed most parents would name all body parts. I forget just how obtuse the fundies are sometimes. I had a cute body parts song I made up for my DD. For the life of me I can't remember it. When I get the baby book out next week I'll check the lyrics.

Yeah, my husband was raised fundie and when he heard me saying "penis" to our child he looked at me like I had six eyes. I looked at him like he had grown six eyes and informed him that an arm was an arm and we call it an arm.... and a penis is a penis and we call it a penis. What? Our sons are supposed to come to us in fifteen years and say that something is wrong with his wee-wee? We don't stigmatize a penis by calling it something else. It was like a whole new world had dawned on him. (He was forced to wear sweat pants and a sweat shirt in the million degree Georgia heat because his "body was a temple to god" or some such nonsense. He's had several of these holy fuck, how was I raised moments in the past couple of years.)

[Deleted03]

Well no, that's the thing. When I was 14 I was still a virgin, so why 12 was "too young" and 14 was OK is puzzling. And my mother honestly didn't care when later I lived with my boyfriend "in sin" and didn't make any fuss about my virginity or "purity" or that crap.

my mom did not want me to use tampons because ew it goes up there and then you have to touch the string ew. Yeah my mom is very mature. Anyway, I told her about the menstrual cup, her eyes rolled over and she said no not for me.

I guess "out of my house" was the right age for her. (btw even my muslim friend got to use tampons since she was on the swimming team. My non-fundie mom, would not let me. yay crazy parents).

[Anise]

My mom didn't let me at first, though she was using them, because she believed I was "too young" when I was 12. She had no problem buying them for me when I was 14 and going on a school trip. I never understood the reasoning behind this.

It could have been just practical as the hymen does change with age. During puberty, the hymen becomes more elastic, so maybe it would have been more uncomfortable/painful at 12 than at 14. Just a guess.

[bananacat]

Notice for both the boys and girls, it's all about preserving the wimmen's purity. And while Michelle is quite comfortable talking about menstruation, I doubt the boys are told that masturbation is a natural and normal activity practiced by 99.9% of the non-sexually active young men on the planet. Or that they shouldn't be ashamed of nocturnal emissions or any Nike dreams that may have caused them.

And I'm sure she doesn't tell the girls about masturbation either, even though it's normal and 97% of women do it.

[xReems]

I'm guessing in fundie world, a smile to the opposite gender is considered flirting. All I got from the "mama, please pray for me" part was "Mama, I don't trust myself being around opposite genders, so instead of me praying to God for guidance and protection, I'm going to tell you so you can hover over me even more and get more overprotective."

These fundies are aware that teenagers and young adults will "struggle" emotionally at times but I feel like the second one of their children comes to them with that struggle, they don't trust them as much. I have a feeling that if one of the Duggar daughters tell their mom to pray for them, Mullet will hawk over them even more since she'll think her daughters will do something sinful.

[bananacat]

One thing I'm learning from the 10K&C FB page is the folks who isolate their children by home schooling don't find a need to educate a daughter until the age of twelve. Gosh these kids don't know about breast buds or what to make of their own pubic hair. I find it sooo fucking appalling.

One would think sex ed begins the first time the child inquires about a pregnant woman or asks where babies come from. I get really angry when parents refuse to discuss natural body functions with their kids.

I got my first period when I was 10. I think 12 or 13 is the average age, but lots of girls start younger. I'm so glad I wasn't in a fundie household because I wouldn't have been educated until after 2 years of bleeding. My mom never had a specific "the talk" with me. She just answered questions as they came up. I barged in on her in the bathroom and she told me about periods. I still didn't like the idea that it was gonna happen to me, but at least I knew it was a normal thing that nearly all women go through. Plus my pediatrician told me when I had my annual physical at age 9 that my period would start within a year, so I was ready for it. When I actually first got it, I was at a sleepover at my best friend's house. I did call my mom to tell her and she brought me some pads, but other than that I just went on with my life and it wasn't a big deal. My friend's mom asked if I wanted to go home, and I just couldn't understand why I should want to give up the fun of a sleepover because of something completely normal. It wasn't until much later that I realized many girls didn't view it as casually as I did.

[lilith]

It could have been just practical as the hymen does change with age. During puberty, the hymen becomes more elastic, so maybe it would have been more uncomfortable/painful at 12 than at 14. Just a guess.

Yeah, my mum wouldn't let me use tampons when I started my period (at 11). My older sister was using them, and I eventually just started using hers when I was 13 and my mum accepted it and started buying me my own.

It wasn't about virginity, when I slept with my first boyfriend at 15 she bought me condoms and took my father out for the night so I'd have the house to myself, so she definitely didnt have a hang up about that, I think she just thought I was too young and too small.

[tabitha2]

I was in fifth grade and the teachers gathered all the girls,no boys allowed, in my grade into a meeting room and explained all about periods,the need to wear deodorant and probably some other personal/feminine and hygiene issues and answered questions.I had already started and was very proud and grown up :) I was much more comfortable with this talk than with mothers 'now if a man rapes you,you can have baby speech'

[snarkbillie]

I probably won't want my daughter to start out with tampons just because I'm terrified of TSS and everything. I probably wouldn't deny them to her if she made a good case like "mom, I want to use tampons".

[tabitha2]

I still can't-they just won't go in....

[doggie]

Knowing the proper names for body parts is also extremely important should a child be sexually molested. Telling a police officer, parent, or teacher that someone touched their "peanut" or their "pussy" isn't nearly as damning as saying that someone touched their penis or vulva.

well since that never happens with fundies why teach it? :roll:

[marmalade]

I can see Jill and Jana doing that, but Jinger and Jessa not so much.

Jessa has a fairly recent quote in which she parrots this bullshit. I guess she's the "catch" and needs God's protection most. :roll:

[JenniferJuniper]

I probably won't want my daughter to start out with tampons just because I'm terrified of TSS and everything. I probably wouldn't deny them to her if she made a good case like "mom, I want to use tampons".

Toxic shock syndrome caused by tampon usage is extremely rare and like many things, prevention comes down to simple good hygiene. If you use the lowest absorbancy for your flow and change frequently, it isn't going to happen.

I can't imagine what the last nearly 40 years of my life would have been like without them and hope you don't let your own fears influence your daughter not to give them a try. Freedom. It's a good thing.

[Anxious Girl]

Is the famwhore trying to disguise her harmful patriarchal life by how how she explains that she teaches sex education to her kids; even though she really doesn't and just goes with the bullshit; "Oh, when my kids are going through puberty I ask them to come to me if they feel unusual about themselves" bullshit excuse when she doesn't even pay them anymind because their buddies take care of them and not the actual parents? Give it up; bitch (Michelle). People see through your charade; the easiest link is with Smuggly's opinions about those different than him on his instagram. Cat's outta the bag, and there's nothing you can do to put it back in. And Michelle, if you're reading this; stop having people ghost-publish articles about how "open" you are. It just makes you look even more like an ass when the realistic people see through your "I accept everybody even though I'm in a cult and deny it but I link to authors and bloggers who promote it lies." Just. Give. It. Up. Already!

[lilwriter85]

Is the famwhore trying to disguise her harmful patriarchal life by how how she explains that she teaches sex education to her kids; even though she really doesn't and just goes with the bullshit; "Oh, when my kids are going through puberty I ask them to come to me if they feel unusual about themselves" bullshit excuse when she doesn't even pay them anymind because their buddies take care of them and not the actual parents? Give it up; bitch (Michelle). People see through your charade; the easiest link is with Smuggly's opinions about those different than him on his instagram. Cat's outta the bag, and there's nothing you can do to put it back in. And Michelle, if you're reading this; stop having people ghost-publish articles about how "open" you are. It just makes you look even more like an ass when the realistic people see through your "I accept everybody even though I'm in a cult and deny it but I link to authors and bloggers who promote it lies." Just. Give. It. Up. Already!

This. :clap:

[Deleted07]

reminds me of when I was about 4. With 3 sisters and my Mum I knew what a Vagina was, and for some reason the topic of penis'es hadn't come up yet (or if it did I just didn't know/remember) until I walked past the bathroom oneday and saw my dad drying himself off after a shower and asked why does daddy have a hanging vagina? *snort*

One of those stories that still gets told around the Christmas dinner table, to my embarrassment!

But, its sad that a lot of these fundie adults are probably stunted to a mentality of a child's with what little they know about their bodies and the opposite genders and their functions etc.

[Witsec7]

Two great posts.

Toxic shock syndrome caused by tampon usage is extremely rare and like many things, prevention comes down to simple good hygiene. If you use the lowest absorbancy for your flow and change frequently, it isn't going to happen.

I can't imagine what the last nearly 40 years of my life would have been like without them and hope you don't let your own fears influence your daughter not to give them a try. Freedom. It's a good thing.

:clap: :clap:

s the famwhore trying to disguise her harmful patriarchal life by how how she explains that she teaches sex education to her kids; even though she really doesn't and just goes with the bullshit; "Oh, when my kids are going through puberty I ask them to come to me if they feel unusual about themselves" bullshit excuse when she doesn't even pay them anymind because their buddies take care of them and not the actual parents? Give it up; bitch (Michelle). People see through your charade; the easiest link is with Smuggly's opinions about those different than him on his instagram. Cat's outta the bag, and there's nothing you can do to put it back in. And Michelle, if you're reading this; stop having people ghost-publish articles about how "open" you are. It just makes you look even more like an ass when the realistic people see through your "I accept everybody even though I'm in a cult and deny it but I link to authors and bloggers who promote it lies." Just. Give. It. Up. Already!

:clap: :clap:

[BlondeAgent007]

Funny tampon story. I got my period when I was 10. When I was 11 or so I wanted to go swimming in the summer so my mom taught me how to use a tampon. She didn't demonstrate but she said, "you hold it here, push it in until your fingers touch your skin, and then you push it all the way up." I go "... all the way?" and she said yes. What she forgot to tell me was that you push the tube into the tampon base and pull the applicator out. I thought you shoved the whole damn thing, applicator and all, up there, fully stretched, and leave it. Let me tell you, I'm surprised I didn't damage my insides! It hurt so bad every time I even slightly bent my torso!!! I pulled it out after an hour, I couldn't take it. I refused to use them after and told my mom they hurt too much. She was surprised, but I was young and she wasn't gonna push it on me. About a year later I saw a used applicator in the trash, got confused. I got a tampon and played around with it. I felt like such an idiot when the cotton tampon came out. I understood what she meant after that. You can be sure I won't make that mistake with my daughter!