Bayley's stupidity!! Stupidity!!

[Hisey]

One of the Bayley's stupid-idiot kids have adopted from Ethiopia. Fine. I am generally a big advocate of adoption.

The parents have written a book about their little boy, who looks to be about 4. He is African-American, of course.

The book is called The Little Brown Bear. The brown bear, of course, is the child.

It's not just the title. Throughout the (poorly written) book, this child is referred to as "my little brown bear" as though he is some kind of fricking pet.

I have two children who are transracially adopted. They do not look like me. Of course, I try to instill pride in their racial heritage. Of course, I try to help them with being a minority in a mostly-Caucasian country. I would never--heart is pounding here--never, ever refer to their differences in such a condescending, stupid-ass way.

My 8 year old desperately wants to feel there is some family resemblance between us. When I asked her recently if her classmates knew she was adopted, she said, "Of course not. That's because we look alike." I said, "Oh, I see." She'll learn that we don't, soon enough.

Don't those idiots know that that little boy wants to fit in, wants them to see the similarities and not the differences?

http://www.baylyblog.com/

Believe it or not, I still feel this little boy is better off being adopted by the Bayleys, as opposed to remaining in his orphanage. At least he will have the luxury to grow up and despise them. It's better than dying of malnuitrition, or growing up so poor, desperate and illiterate you cannot even read the Bayley's dribble. Growing up confused is better than never growing up at all.

[Doomed Harlottt]

Oh my God. And you know they beat the kid too. The Baylys are utterly heartless spanking enthusiasts.

What did you think of the rest of the way they explained their sons adoption story to him in the book? I thought it was told rather nicely but the Little Brown Bear part tends to overshadow everything else. I have considered transracial adoption but I worry that it might be cruel to bring a child of another race into my fairly rural community of mostly white folks. I'd hate for my child to grow up and blame me for putting him in this situation just to satisfy my own desire for a child.

[Hisey]

Oh my God. And you know they beat the kid too. The Baylys are utterly heartless spanking enthusiasts.

What did you think of the rest of the way they explained their sons adoption story to him in the book? I thought it was told rather nicely but the Little Brown Bear part tends to overshadow everything else. I have considered transracial adoption but I worry that it might be cruel to bring a child of another race into my fairly rural community of mostly white folks. I'd hate for my child to grow up and blame me for putting him in this situation just to satisfy my own desire for a child.

We used to live in an all-white rural community, My girls were very, very happy there (and still miss it). We moved to a diverse community largely because of them. We suspected they'd grow older and eventually experience racism. Since we were able to, we left, but not everyone has that option.

Living in an all-white community is far, far better than living in an orphanage with the possibility of abuse, neglect, malnuitrition, poor health care. If your child is growing up in a home with love, he or she is better off than growing up without love. I'm not saying it's ideal, I'm saying if I were an orphan, that's what I would choose--love. And the older adopted kids I've talked to have said that that every kid in the orphanage wants a family, that is their dream, their hope. These kids would laugh at the reason we find a home unacceptable here (self-centered mothers, having to share a bedroom, nondiverse community--they don't really care much about any of that, they just want a home and someone that loves them).

I thought the Bayleys book was very simpleminded and poorly written. I am not saying that because I dislike them. I've just read many, many adoption books that are far bettter.

[Doomed Harlottt]

Thank you, Hisey! That's really helpful. I tend to get a little freaked put because I've seen a bunch of blogs by disgruntled adult transracial adoptees, and it is really discouraging.

[Want More Babies]

This reminds me of Heather over at lazydranch8 who calls her adopted daughter "Brown Sugar". :angry-screaming: :angry-cussing: :angry-cussingblack: She is so condescending of her and when she stopped breathing during a croup attack (they pounded on her back for awhile) she took her to the ER but then decided she didn't want to waste $1,000. on her so went to Wal Mart for a natural remedy. Her post where she talks about it is "Uninsured and proud of it".

These fundies and their adoptions! :angry-banghead:

[CC3]

The book is truly awful. I don't know what else to say.

[Witsec7]

Naturally some states forbid GBLT peoples from adopting but a christian who spanks and trains is really ok. This is the kind of day to day shit that pisses me off.

[JesusFightClub]

That is so weird. They don't seem to see that there is a middle ground between never mentioning the fact that your child is of a different racial background than you and pointing it out obsessively every chance you get.

"He's brown! Yes, he's BROWN! LOOK EVERYBODY REALLY OBSERVE THE BROWNNESS! We took in an *actual* brown child! Aren't we great?"

[TudorRose]

That is so weird. They don't seem to see that there is a middle ground between never mentioning the fact that your child is of a different racial background than you and pointing it out obsessively every chance you get.

Fundy extremism at work--there's only 2 (two! just TWOOOOO!!!!) choices on everything.

[MamaJunebug]

You know what I'd love to see, some day?

These Baylyfolk run into a family whose parents are of African descent who've adopted children of European or Asian descent and write books about them called "Our Little White Angel" or "Our Almond-eyed Babyboo."

I'll leave the possible scenarios to your own imaginations! :mrgreen: :evil: :twisted:

[Doomed Harlottt]

Ooh, ooh. I see someone named "Mack" has commented on the Bayly Blog to make some of the same points Hisey has made. Then the Baylys say this:

Hey all, Mack is a frequenter of a site that specializes in the scoffing of reprobates. Something about pearls...

Is this a shout out to Free Jinger? Or could there be another site where we reprobates can spend some time scoffing? I dearly want to leave a comment asking the name of the site and sign it "Reprobate."

[icecreamycakeycake]

I can't wait for one of them to name an African baby Sam (short for Sambo, of course).

[Creaky Mom]

Once more Bayly's shirts are untucked and they sit chewing their food with their mouths open.

Do they refer to their adopted children of other ethnicities in a like manner, or do just the ones with brown skin get special attention?

There are adopted people in our family of different skin colour and ethnicities, but it has never occurred to any of us to give them pet names highlighting this. I read the book. I read their comments explaining why they do this. It is strained and unnecessary and doesn't change the fact that it is really, really, bad taste. :shock:

[Witsec7]

Is this a shout out to Free Jinger? Or could there be another site where we reprobates can spend some time scoffing? I dearly want to leave a comment asking the name of the site and sign it "Reprobate."

Well if there is another site, I sure want a link to it :lol: