Poor Michaella Bates

[MamaJunebug]

I'm usually not interested in the Bateses but I remember thinking that the whole idea of having a special booth in the kitchen for Mommy and Daddy's date nights was over-the-top self-indulgent. And yes, that girl who's gotten overweight ... wow, sadness if it's for the reasons we're supposing, here. "Mr. Gothard" and his prescription for righting the wrongs of the country on the backs of the young women born into these megafamilies can jump in the nearest river. Hateful agenda!!

Edited to attack ideas, not people's looks.

[bubbabearzle]

Whoa, NIKE alert! Grandma in the sky blue cardigan is showing collar bone! quote]

Please help - WTF does "NIKE" mean? I see it all the time here but haven't been able to figure it out yet....

[chrissasue]

It means something inappropriate to the Duggars standards.Like a girls dress is short or just doesn't look right it is their way of telling the children not to look at something like a girl on tv wearing little clothing.

[FloraDoraDolly]

On one episode of the Duggars' show (I don't remember how many kids and counting they had at the time), they talked about how they say "Nike!" whenever they encounter an immodestly dressed woman in public, at which point all the males of the Duggar species must look down at their shoes.

[LurkerOverThePond]

Why on earth is Lawson wearing a BRIGHT ORANGE t-shirt (?) under his dark suit and shirt?!?

[BayLee_10]

Time for me to get back to lurking and just enjoying the snark, and I do enjoy it. The temptation is too great to correct misconceptions about the Bateses. I will say that Michaela is doing what she enjoys doing and dressing the way she wants to dress. She can't very well take blocks of time off when someone is counting on her for child care. She does not need intervention from her 3 younger sisters, nor is she unhappy with her life. Michaela might not be as photogenic as Erin is, however she is a very pretty girl.

[formergothardite]

Time for me to get back to lurking and just enjoying the snark, and I do enjoy it. The temptation is too great to correct misconceptions about the Bateses. I will say that Michaela is doing what she enjoys doing and dressing the way she wants to dress. She can't very well take blocks of time off when someone is counting on her for child care. She does not need intervention from her 3 younger sisters, nor is she unhappy with her life. Michaela might not be as photogenic as Erin is, however she is a very pretty girl.

The problem is that she shouldn't be responsible for child care. That is the parent's problem. But she was stuck with crappy parents who are selfish beyond all words. I know they are your pet fundies, but how can you say Gill and Kelly are good parents?

[Daenerys]

The problem is that she shouldn't be responsible for child care. That is the parent's problem. But she was stuck with crappy parents who are selfish beyond all words. I know they are your pet fundies, but how can you say Gill and Kelly are good parents?

As my mother would say, she looks really care-worn. I wasn't really snarking on her clothes as much as how old and tired she looks. Far too old for a 22? year old.

[CustardTart]

Time for me to get back to lurking and just enjoying the snark, and I do enjoy it. The temptation is too great to correct misconceptions about the Bateses.

I hope you continue to post. Although I snark and criticize, I'd like to learn the correct conceptions about them.

[formergothardite]

Why are you afraid to correct the misconceptions Baylee?

[lilwriter85]

Yep, Michaella needs to be freed. I felt so bad for her when the Bates had their TV special.

Both her and Lawson need to be freed.

[emmiedahl]

The problem is that she shouldn't be responsible for child care. That is the parent's problem. But she was stuck with crappy parents who are selfish beyond all words. I know they are your pet fundies, but how can you say Gill and Kelly are good parents?

In a house with one stay-at-home parent and one who seems seems to work only occasionally, I can't imagine why the oldest daughter needs to be an unpaid nanny.

[3 is enough]

I don't want to come across as defending Gil and Kelly, because I do not, but I seem to recall reading on their blog that Michaela actually has a job caring for someone else's children. It's a job, and something she's obviously skilled at and appears to enjoy, so more power to her.

Having said that, if it is true, her parents probably take her wages to help pay for the kids they can't afford. :evil:

[Georgiana]

I know it's not popular here, but I have a lot of sympathy for Erin. She could be a princess...or she could just enjoy clothes, make-up, hair, and looking nice. I do, and for me, it's not so much a vanity as a hobby. I read fashion mags, collect looks to try, and I genuinely enjoy spending time trying to re-create them. Putting on make-up every morning is calming for me, and also something I really enjoy. Making myself look nice and caring for my appearance are my daily reminders to myself that I am important and have value.

I'm not saying that Erin is the best person ever, and yes, she may be self-indulgent. But shouldn't it be a good thing if she values herself enough to give her wants and needs serious weight and kind of bucks the idea that she should put herself last? And I think it's a little rebellious that in a culture where women are expected to not care for themselves, Erin puts taking care of herself near the top.

Erin and I are a lot alike. And yes, there is something that causes people to try to "blame" or "shame" women who like caring for themselves and looking good. But Michaela's issues are hers. I don't think Erin has anything to do with them. My personal opinion on the matter is that Erin is a much stronger person than Michaela, which may be why their lives have diverged in the way they have.

Like many women we discuss here, Michaela deserves and needs our sympathy. Erin deserves it, but she doesn't need it. Erin Bates is a badass.

[Witsec5]

Some of the nicest women I know pay great attention to their appearance. I don't know Erin but, based on some of the judgmental comments she has made, she is not nice. She was the one who made the "green hair" comment. Not wanting to go to a regular school because she might associate with someone who has green hair. Something like that. She really came across like a judgmental little priss and after that I couldn't stand her. Maybe her future husband will have an identity crisis, leave Gothard, and will decide to get piercings and tats.

[formergothardite]

I feel sorry for all the kids. They were raised by parents who got to do what they wanted to do with their lives, but went out of their way to make sure it would be pretty darn hard for their kids to do the same. I feel sorry for Michaella, maybe she really likes caring for children and would love getting a degree in Early Childhood Education, but that isn't even an option for her. Erin like being a girly girl and I bet would have loved to go to a real college and really study music, but she has been brainwashed into thinking that even sitting next to someone who is differnt than her will corrupt her. Then there is the poor guy who wants to make movies. No way he will ever be able to study and do it professionally. Then there is the kid who has to work to support the whole family because Gill is too lazy to go out and do it himself.

And then there are all the little ones. Wasn't one of the pretty young daughters assigned buddy duty on the last baby before it was even born? This is no way to live and I am a member of enought ex-ATI boards to know that a good chunk of kids raised this way grow up to resent their parents.

[formergothardite]

I feel sorry for all the kids. They were raised by parents who got to do what they wanted to do with their lives, but went out of their way to make sure it would be pretty darn hard for their kids to do the same. I feel sorry for Michaella, maybe she really likes caring for children and would love getting a degree in Early Childhood Education, but that isn't even an option for her. Erin like being a girly girl and I bet would have loved to go to a real college and really study music, but she has been brainwashed into thinking that even sitting next to someone who is differnt than her will corrupt her. Then there is the poor guy who wants to make movies. No way he will ever be able to study and do it professionally. Then there is the kid who has to work to support the whole family because Gill is too lazy to go out and do it himself.

And then there are all the little ones. Wasn't one of the pretty young daughters assigned buddy duty on the last baby before it was even born? This is no way to live and I am a member of enought ex-ATI boards to know that a good chunk of kids raised this way grow up to resent their parents.

[BayLee_10]

Michaela is not baby sitting her parent's children, she has a job taking care of someone else's child while the parents work. I don't really know Erin at all. Michaela is easy to know and I love that kid. OK, young woman, and NO I am not pinging anyone's gaydar.

[formergothardite]

I'm glad she has a job, but she has also spent a good portion of her life raising her mother's children. Of course, Kelly seems to be a tad more involved than Michelle, but not by much.

[BayLee_10]

Shit is there no way for me to keep my hands off of the keyboard? Tori is Judson's buddy. She is gone quite a bit, and Kelly is responsible for her own children aside from what any of us with a large family would do, like please get me a diaper, would you watch Judson while I go to the bathroom, etc.

[formergothardite]

If that is true, then why assign buddies before a baby is born? I come from a freaking big family and there was no buddy system. Whoever was there, girl or boy was asked to help out. There was no need for buddies.

Kelly and Gill are raising their children in a dangerous cult. There is nothing good about that.

[BayLee_10]

Have it your way.

[formergothardite]

Baylee, do you really believe that if Michealla went up to her parents, told them she was going to go to a secular college, get a degree in Early Childhood Education, move out and support herself, they wouldn't flip out and try and guilt her out of it?

Why won't you address the facts that they put their children in dangerous situations with horses and raise them in a cult that filled with abuse?

[CustardTart]

I agree with the poster who said Michaella's issues are her own, not having to do with Erin. Erin was born a natural beauty, that hair-color and volume that women pay to have, a very very very pretty face etc., and she's running with it. Michaella could take better care of appearance if she chose to. I really hope she does, even if she doesn't care how she looks. She must look at family photos and know she looks frumpy while Erin looks as hot as a fundy can look.

[CustardTart]

Baylee, do you really believe that if Michealla went up to her parents, told them she was going to go to a secular college, get a degree in Early Childhood Education, move out and support herself, they wouldn't flip out and try and guilt her out of it?

Please help me understand. Is there a biblical precept that single young women must/should live at home? I'm trying to learn what reasoning fundamentalists have for their daughters (and I guess sons, too) to remain at home until marriage.