One town's war on gay teens

[AnnieC 305]

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/ne ... s-20120202

Every morning, Brittany Geldert stepped off the bus and bolted through the double doors of Fred Moore Middle School, her nerves already on high alert, bracing for the inevitable.

"Dyke."

Pretending not to hear, Brittany would walk briskly to her locker, past the sixth-, seventh- and eighth-graders who loitered in menacing packs.

"Whore."

Like many 13-year-olds, Brittany knew seventh grade was a living hell. But what she didn't know was that she was caught in the crossfire of a culture war being waged by local evangelicals inspired by their high-profile congressional representative Michele Bachmann, who graduated from Anoka High School and, until recently, was a member of one of the most conservative churches in the area. When Christian activists who considered gays an abomination forced a measure through the school board forbidding the discussion of homosexuality in the district's public schools, kids like Brittany were unknowingly thrust into the heart of a clash that was about to become intertwined with tragedy.

Brittany didn't look like most girls in blue-collar Anoka, Minnesota, a former logging town on the Rum River, a conventional place that takes pride in its annual Halloween parade – it bills itself the "Halloween Capital of the World." Brittany was a low-voiced, stocky girl who dressed in baggy jeans and her dad's Marine Corps sweatshirts. By age 13, she'd been taunted as a "cunt" and "cock muncher" long before such words had made much sense. When she told administrators about the abuse, they were strangely unresponsive, even though bullying was a subject often discussed in school-board meetings. The district maintained a comprehensive five-page anti-bullying policy, and held diversity trainings on racial and gender sensitivity. Yet when it came to Brittany's harassment, school officials usually told her to ignore it, always glossing over the sexually charged insults. Like the time Brittany had complained about being called a "fat dyke": The school's principal, looking pained, had suggested Brittany prepare herself for the next round of teasing with snappy comebacks – "I can lose the weight, but you're stuck with your ugly face" – never acknowledging she had been called a "dyke." As though that part was OK. As though the fact that Brittany was bisexual made her fair game.

Given that it's Fundamentalist Christianity that's running this war I think it comes under our mandate to discuss.

[SealFan1963]

We live in a rather liberal state that just passed gay marriage and I know that kids are still teased all the time. I can't imagine how much worse it is in the midwest or the bible belt.

My daughter is 13 she is in 7th grade. She has two friends that are bisexual. During one of her classes the other day the were discussing gay marriage and the boy in front of her said that "all gay people are going to hell". My daughter was furious! She wanted to slap him up side the head. Her bisexual friend told her to ignore it, that it was not worth it to cause a scene. The teacher did not hear him say it.

I am so proud of my daughter for wanting to defend her friend, what makes me sad is that the bisexual girl expects that she just has to tolerate this type of behavior.

[AudreyE]

Can one be a whore and a dyke at the same time? These kids are educating me. I would have thought it is either/or.

It is SO disturbing that they administration acknowledged the "fat" insult but not the "dyke" part. Denial anyone?

[Alecto]

I grew up in the Bible Belt and I will never forget being called a "dyke" and then being accused of being pregnant. I was, at the time, a virgin.

Bless their hearts, they just aren't that bright it seems.

[CynicMom]

If you define whore as "a woman who has had sex one time more than you" than it is totally possible to be a whore and a lesbian.

[lilwriter85]

I remember hearing about this town in another article sometime back.

[synchroswimr]

Oh, Anoka. * sigh* This saddens me, but, unfortunately, doesn't surprise me.

[Gizmola]

What's going on? Seriously? I am a naive idiot and I thought each generation becomes more accepting and liberal than the one before. But I do not remember this level of bullying and evil when I was in school many, many moons ago. I'm so inarticulate right now. How can any adult seeing this behavior not step in to defend and support this girl? WTF is going on??

[Smooth Beans]

I grew up in the Bible Belt and I will never forget being called a "dyke" and then being accused of being pregnant. I was, at the time, a virgin.

Bless their hearts, they just aren't that bright it seems.

Did you grow up in central IL too???

[Smooth Beans]

What's going on? Seriously? I am a naive idiot and I thought each generation becomes more accepting and liberal than the one before. But I do not remember this level of bullying and evil when I was in school many, many moons ago. I'm so inarticulate right now. How can any adult seeing this behavior not step in to defend and support this girl? WTF is going on??

I can personally vouch for this level of evil existing as far back as 1986. The only thing that's different is that now people are FINALLY taking it seriously and talking about it.

[Mama Mia]

"Dyke" AND "cock muncher" ... wow they need to get away from that abstinence only education !

I think people are generally meaner than when I grew up in the 70's. I blame the internetz.

[Conuly]

Can one be a whore and a dyke at the same time? These kids are educating me. I would have thought it is either/or.

I don't see why not. If a whore is a prostitute, that is, somebody who gets paid for sex, then not only should it be possible to get paid for being a woman having sex with women, but it should be possible to be paid for having sex with men even if your own orientation is towards women, right?

Or, to put it another way, one is a profession, the other is an orientation.

Which is all very pedantic and removed from the subject of the conversation, but yeah, I can't stand illogical insults either.

I thought each generation becomes more accepting and liberal than the one before.

That's a popular and convenient belief, but it's not based in reality at all, I'm afraid. There have been periods in the not-so-distant past where being gay was more accepted, and periods where it was unusually maligned. Free love wasn't invented in the 60s, and the conventional marker for the "nadir of race relations in America" is well *after* Reconstruction.

Which is all a little depressing when you think about it - all the hard work we've done could be changed within a generation or two, and then when they redo our hard work they'll take all the credit and lump us in with the bigots just because we lived in the "past"!

[DistantStar]

I can personally vouch for this level of evil existing as far back as 1986. The only thing that's different is that now people are FINALLY taking it seriously and talking about it.

1987-90. Middle school. I'm still not sure how I got through without killing myself. The reason you never heard was because nobody took it seriously, and the victim was blamed. I must have done something to draw that attention, right? My parents felt helpless and the school didn't do shit, though I wasn't being tormented because of my sexuality. It was, however, about something just as unchangeable.

I think putting adolescents in a closed environment where everybody is that same age is one of the worst ideas ever conceived.

[Kelya]

I was in 8th grade in a liberal New England college town and I had to sit and listen to the class evangelical blather on and on about how gay people were immoral, going to burn in hell, needed to repent before judgement day, etc, all under the guise of a controversial issues assignment. Two other gay girls (one of who is openly gay now and the other who is so far into the closet she's folding towels from 1955) and I were just sitting there, as the teacher nodded.

There was no one to tell. We all IMed about it that night, but mostly it was just another hit. As much as I dislike Dan Savage, I really could have used some it gets better as recently as 2003.

[Rosa]

Anoka is where people move to if they need to work in the Twin Cities but can't stand that "urban" culture of tolerance and diversity. And it's not like the Twin Cities are even that diverse!

it's a little politicized pocket of Christian hatred.

[emmiedahl]

My school in Northern California in the early nineties was (afaik) gay-friendly. We had several openly LGBT students and I don't recall anyone thinking much of it. Of course, those students might report differently. We certainly did not have the homophobic environment discussed in this video.

My 16yo has one openly gay friend that I know of. I might ask him about how other people act. T is popular, he might be able to set a few people straight if they are being dicks. Verbally, of course.

[candycanehead]

my son isnt even gay, but every day he is called a "fag", "polesmoker" etc..and hes in 7th grade!

middle school has to be the roughest time in a kids life..i have complained to the staff and they haven't done much about it at all. mainly because (and i feel i am right in saying this) it is the football players doing the name calling, and my kid is the "overweight nerdy" kid.

:(

[ladypuglover]

my son isnt even gay, but every day he is called a "fag", "polesmoker" etc..and hes in 7th grade!

middle school has to be the roughest time in a kids life..i have complained to the staff and they haven't done much about it at all. mainly because (and i feel i am right in saying this) it is the football players doing the name calling, and my kid is the "overweight nerdy" kid.

:(

Huge hugs to you and your son. My 4th boy is too the overweight nerdy boy and everyday my heart breaks in half for him. He tries so hard to fit in and somehow still falls short of his goal. I am terrified that the love of his family and family friends isn't going to enough for him one day. If these other kids only knew what they were missing out on not knowing my son by giving him a chance. Hugs again to you both again, it is very hard to be the outsider looking in during these years.

[crazyforkate]

This makes me want to cry. Okay, be against same-sex marriage, whatever. Still terrible, but adults can fight back. But ignoring bullying and harassment? Taking out your religious issues on little kids? It's disgusting. Just disgusting. What homophobes do is so much worse than any "sin" they've dreamed up in their heads.

[sea_gale]

This link has been all over Facebook and Twitter, but I've avoided reading it till now. As I predicted, it made me choke up. Why are kids such mean little fuckers?

[doggie]

[

That's a popular and convenient belief, but it's not based in reality at all, I'm afraid. There have been periods in the not-so-distant past where being gay was more accepted, and periods where it was unusually maligned. Free love wasn't invented in the 60s, and the conventional marker for the "nadir of race relations in America" is well *after* Reconstruction.

/quote]

Violent death is at its lowest level in recorded history education is why. I think we are changing. But the bad parts are so over glorified it is hard to tell. overall we are more tolerant of each other but the pad parts stand out more. They are feeling threatened because people are more tolerant then they used to be. We see this in the republicans and how they are trying to attack abortion far harder than ever change education force religion onto everyone. They are scared because the world is becoming more accepting.

[CanadianHippie]

I can't come up with anything to say but a string of swears... The kids are bad, the adults letting it happen should be ashamed of themselves.

[Lainey]

That's a popular and convenient belief, but it's not based in reality at all, I'm afraid. There have been periods in the not-so-distant past where being gay was more accepted, and periods where it was unusually maligned. Free love wasn't invented in the 60s, and the conventional marker for the "nadir of race relations in America" is well *after* Reconstruction.

What? I find this fascinating, and I need to know more. How can I educate myself? Websites, books, whatever--suggestions, please.

[GolightlyGrrl]

Here is a pic Barb Anderson who as the helm of the anti-gay hate. Her agenda is informally named "No Homo Promo." Yes, I do realize it sounds like a PP sermon.

Damn, her hairdo could use a homo!

Now is it just me or does most of this bullying happen in more conservative communities? I know plenty of asshole liberals, but you don't usually hear of rampant bullying in places like Berkeley.

[BravaAmica]

Perhaps I did not read the article very closely, but did any of the parents who lost children to suicide know their kids were being bullied? Did they know the extent of it?

It's just shitty and wrong when parents tell the school their child is being threatened and bullied and verbally assaulted and the school does nothing.