That Wife Wanted a Cubic Z?

[Michiru]

Oh my, so many nice storys about rings! :)

We went to a very small shop, the owner makes the rings herself, and bought plain silver rings. We paid 80 Euro for each one- as students we really don't have that much money. Also no engagement ring for me. I don't really like rings and I don't wear my wedding ring that often anyway. :lol:

[devilsadvocate]

My ring has a Moissanite center stone, not a "real" diamond. Why is my ring somehow inferior because it's now a stone you consider to be worthy of anything? Synthetics and lab-created are perfectly suitable if they're something the couple wants.

I was waiting to see if anyone here was going to bring up moissanite. My engagement ring is moissanite too. I bought it at http://www.moissaniteco.com

Going with moissanite let us get a much better quality stone for a fraction of the price that a diamond would have cost.

I don't picture myself ever buying a diamond. There is no reason to when moissanite is another very durable, pretty stone that costs much less. I hate DeBeers. The truth is that diamonds are totally the product of a very cynical and manipulative marketing campaign: http://edwardjayepstein.com/diamond/chap20.htm

[StacyW]

I've known a couple of couples who got rings tattooed on their fingers. You don't have to worry about losing that ring.

[treemom]

Still reading, but my ring was a 1k run my husband bought the last day jp gattas was in business here. It is a .75 carat and nearly perfect. Our wedding bands were 50 dollars a piece from service merchandise, we didn't have much money when we got married.

I was also young and less socially aware than I am now. I have lots of jewelry now and for the most part the gemstones are lab created. I do have pieces I bought while on vacation and the lovely necklace I bought in Egypt was hand crafted in front of us. I really love it.

Anyhow, hereare our rings.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid= ... 3e23b23ef3

[treemom]

Before we got engaged, the husband said he didn't like diamonds--they were too traditional. I didn't like that so much since I like traditional things, but after awhile thought that an emerald or pearl would be cool. Anyways, when it came time to look for rings (after we decided to get married and booked a place and called my parents--all in the same day), we ended up at the mall stores, where our budget ($500-1000) was sneered at. They tried to jam a 1/4 carat diamond set down our throats because it was on super sale. It was a good deal but it was ugly.

We went to a national jewelry store where the saleslady said "no problem!" when told our budget and showed us rings that were actually in that range--some $600ish, some more, but it wasn't like they were all $999.99, you know?

Anyway, by that time I realized that a pearl or emerald wouldn't hold up to daily wear, so while we looked at a couple of diamonds, we also looked at a green sapphire and blue sapphires. I ended up with a blue sapphire ring which I adore and which (before tax and what not) cost $595. And, I am proud to say, my husband paid cash for it, with his debit card, from his checking account. It's not that we're rolling in money it's just he manages it well. I do like to joke that my ring was more expensive than his car though--he drove a beater that was $400.

He bought his own wedding bands (2 of them) off of Amazon, and they were $30 each. He likes both and wears one during the week and one on the weekends, lol. They look pretty much the same unless you look really closely to see the design.

I bought a plain white gold band for a wedding band--my "set" is mismatched, but I love it. I wanted a plain, small wedding band.

My ring looks like this--only a ring, obv., and the band has little diamonds:

http://www.shaneco.com/Catalog/ProductD ... White+Gold

That's where we got my ring. Highly recommend, as their salespeople are awesome.

I have an emerald my husband gave my when our son wAs born. I have worn it daily for over a decade. Sometimes I swap out to a star sapphire that was my grandmothers and one of the few things in our family that survived the holocaust, but I wear it less.

So don't be scared to get an amenable ring, they hold up.

[Cerysbell]

A friend of mine really wanted titanium, but didn't have the budget, so they went for palladium rings and are very pleased with them.

[Nothing2CHere]

Mine cost 150 euros (plain barrel-cut gold ring) and IIRC 260 euros (patterned barrel-cut gold ring). I am getting the third ring, so-called child ring which is usually given when first baby arrives and it is traditional to get and set in the ring as many gemstones as there are children.

Oh wow, this is what I'm thinking of doing, getting a third ring for my ring finger in honor of my son's birth, and I'm not even from Finland. My engagement ring was "custom-made" as in, I picked out a pre-made band from a book and we had them set a diamond in the center, and then two smaller stones on either side - mine and my husband's birthstones (because that's what I wanted). The day we picked up the ring, the jeweler who helped us commented on how pretty she thought it was, and how if I wanted down the road, I could probably turn it into a mother's ring, because based on the style of the band (it's not a solid band, it's a "swoopy" band with open spaces), she thought they could set additional stones in the open spaces. That's stuck with me over the years, but I was never sure if I really would want to "change" my original engagement ring. Then my wedding band is a thin white gold band with a few small diamonds (technically, the store considered my wedding band an "anniversary" ring). When we bought that, "stacking" rings was very big, and that jeweler kept talking about how down the road, my husband could by me another thin ring in honor of whatever milestone anniversary we reached to wear along with my original wedding band. Now that Baby #1's on the way, I'm thinking I'd like a thin band with his birthstone to wear stacked on that finger, as a nice compromise to adding another stone to my engagement ring right now.

[ChiTownJess]

My original ring (I guess you could call it an engagement ring) cost about $20 on Ebay. It is a sterling silver and garnet ring that I chose because the garnet is my birthstone. I originally wanted this ring, because my husband is a giant Green Lantern nerd, but he didn't win the auction.

Later on, we bought plain gold wedding bands ($9 for two....thanks Kmart!), but mine got beat up and he lost his. He did buy me a pretty and (for us) expensive diamond and gold band on our first anniversary, but it disappeared. To this day, I have no idea where it went. :(

[Elle]

I personally don't like the current trend when a lot of people think that they "must" have something, even if they can't afford it, so instead of getting something else, a different style, brand or stone that they can afford, they go for the fake thing just to look like everybody else.

Like it's a must with a big white centre stone in an engagement ring or a particular logo on a bag. Not pointed at you or anybody in particular, but I don't understand the wish to wear something that I really can't afford anyway just because "everybody" has it.

If I wanted a diamond ring, I would get an antique one since I don't want to support the diamond industri and here you get a lot more for your money if you buy used and save the difference. Plus I like the antique cut better.

Some people aren't buying clear diamond alternatives because they want a diamond to "look like everybody else." Some people just like the look of clear stones and don't care if it's diamond. When I'm complimented on my "diamond," I always tell the person what the stone actually is which has at times led to a discussion on what Moissanite is and how there is no slave work involved, and in two instances the women I was talking to decided they weren't going to buy diamonds anymore. Isn't that a good thing?

I also went with a clear center stone because I loved the setting I got (an antique one) so much that I didn't want to have to get a different one because no colored stone really looked right. It wasn't going for the "fake thing just to look like everybody else."

And I know many women who've gone with other clear stones because, while they love the look of clear stones, they don't want to risk a conflict-obtained stone. And what about the other naturally-occuring clear stones out there? Should they just not be used because apparently the only reason people will buy then is to have "fake" diamonds and are wrong because if they can't afford a diamond, they should just buy something else entirely?

I really think you need to stop your thinking that people who get other clear stones are doing it to make people think they have a diamond. Who cares f someone is, and many people have other reasons for going with clear alternatives to diamond. I also really dislike how diamonds are the default and everything else is alternative.

It's also been debated online a lot about whether people who can't afford designer or diamonds should just go for something else they don't really like much instead of finding something less expensive that looks like what they do like, which brings into play classism as it indicates strongly that people who aren't rich don't deserve to have nice-looking things if they can't afford the high-dollar designer price tags, leaving the designer look and the look of clear stones to the rich.

[Elle]

As for diamonds, they aren't rare at all. The only reason they are so expensive when bought new is because the DeBeers cartel keeps the market supply and prices artificially inflated. If a CZ is "fake," so is the monetary value of a diamond. Just try to sell a diamond ring--if you find a jeweler who will buy it at all, you'll get a fraction of the wholesale price.

I used to buy jewelry wholesale to resell. I think most people would be very angry to find out the wholesale cost of things with certificates valuing them at thousands. One particular bracelet I had has a GIA certificate with a replacement value at over $10,000. Wholesale...I paid $80. And the wholesaler I used wan't the manufacturer, meaning that the wholesaler had marked it up from whoever he got it from, meaning that the manufacturer was making it and profiting on far less than $80. Let in jewelry stores it's not uncommon to pay more than the certificate value. There's a damn good reason only some stones have certificates displayed. Those are "loss-leaders," stones with a price tag lower than the accompanying certificate to make you think that everything there is under certificate estimate. Really, MOST stones are NOT in short supply, but saying that makes people think they're getting something rare when they pay thousands of dollars for a tiny piece of carbon or some other rock.

Honestly, when the economy bounces up, I might get back into jewelry. I worked a couple days month and could make a couple thousand a day (I usually sold at 15% of the certificate, which was a profit for me, and very quick sales), then places a new order and did whatever until the new shipment came in 3-4 weeks later. I didn't bother with diamonds very often. I used Canadian for those, but it was annoying to have to accompany buyers to multiple jewelry stores so they could make sure the diamonds were real only to have the jewelry store people question and question and insist I must be doing something illegal if I was selling for so low. Yeah, no. Not renting an expensive store-front with high overhead and insisting on going along with DeBeer's artificial inflation of plentiful stones helped. So I only did diamond a few times.

[Elle]

A friend of mine really wanted titanium, but didn't have the budget, so they went for palladium rings and are very pleased with them.

Titanium is cheap. Really cheap. I think you have this backward.

[mrs]

Don't be so surprised. Over on the WB boards from which she came, people are always trying to one-up about how their rings didn't need to be expensive, blah blah blah, they're so non-traditional and better than you!

ETA the same crowd followed her to her blog, so it's still an "i'm better than you because I didn't NEED this" kind of post.

whats the WB boards? I want to check it out. Thanks!

[mrs]

OOO mines from Costco! Great deal, near perfect diamond. Everyone thinks its from Tacori.

[julie paradox]

donks - what if she simply doesn't like it much? Personal taste in adornment seems an iffy thing to call off a marriage for.

[darkplumaged]

Since this is vaguely related, does anyone have titanium rings? How do they hold up?

I'm pretty sure my husband's ring is titanium. It looks a lot like this (that may be the exact ring). It has held up nicely, but we've only been married 3.5 years, so I guess time will tell. I like that this is a more masculine style, and it suits him well.

My ring is palladium, as is my engagement ring.

[kayray]

I don't see a big deal in her wanting a CZ. People want CZ, or other alternatives, for ALL sorts of reasons, not just price alone, and has already been pointed out the reasons diamonds are considered so special is marketing, only.

I never wanted a diamond as diamonds just are not so much "me" and I have always preferred coloured stones. In particular, sapphires and emeralds (the former being a bit of a tradition in my family).

I never actually had an engagement ring, by my own choice at the time, and only got my "engagement ring" and matching band after we were married (the ring I married with is stored safely away). Purchased with tax refund money!

My ring is a lovely blue lab-created sapphire in a custom designed white gold/palladium (the palladium mix means I do not have to have it plated, as it is already white without plating) setting, with tiny diamonds (ethically sourced) scattered in the bands. I love, love, love my rings and I love them even more that they fit very nicely in our budget at the time. My husband's ring is a lovely sapphire and diamond pave band in white gold. He loves it!

Anyway, I went with a lab-created sapphire as sapphires so I could get exactly the blue I wanted (which is a Kashmir-blue style and a Kashmir sapphire is something that is incredibly rare in the size I wanted and INCREDIBLY expensive!). I also did want a larger sapphire (mine is about 2.5 carats or equal to the size of a 2 carat diamond) as I prefer larger sizes for coloured gems, especially on my hand and for the setting I wanted (I wear almost no jewelery except for my wedding rings and my plain earrings, but I still have my preferences if I am going to wear it!)...it would have probably taken me years and a lot of coin to find the right sapphire that fit my colour, size and imperfection specifications! Mine is perfect for me, and should anything ever happen to it, it is not cost prohibitive to replace it with a new one.

[Clementine]

Some people aren't buying clear diamond alternatives because they want a diamond to "look like everybody else." Some people just like the look of clear stones and don't care if it's diamond. When I'm complimented on my "diamond," I always tell the person what the stone actually is which has at times led to a discussion on what Moissanite is and how there is no slave work involved, and in two instances the women I was talking to decided they weren't going to buy diamonds anymore. Isn't that a good thing?

I also went with a clear center stone because I loved the setting I got (an antique one) so much that I didn't want to have to get a different one because no colored stone really looked right. It wasn't going for the "fake thing just to look like everybody else."

And I know many women who've gone with other clear stones because, while they love the look of clear stones, they don't want to risk a conflict-obtained stone. And what about the other naturally-occuring clear stones out there? Should they just not be used because apparently the only reason people will buy then is to have "fake" diamonds and are wrong because if they can't afford a diamond, they should just buy something else entirely?

I really think you need to stop your thinking that people who get other clear stones are doing it to make people think they have a diamond. Who cares f someone is, and many people have other reasons for going with clear alternatives to diamond. I also really dislike how diamonds are the default and everything else is alternative.

It's also been debated online a lot about whether people who can't afford designer or diamonds should just go for something else they don't really like much instead of finding something less expensive that looks like what they do like, which brings into play classism as it indicates strongly that people who aren't rich don't deserve to have nice-looking things if they can't afford the high-dollar designer price tags, leaving the designer look and the look of clear stones to the rich.

I just want to clarify:

* Everybody can wear whatever stone or imitation they want.

* I think it's boring that it's a "must" to have a big white center stone, preferably a diamond in the engagement rings. There are other options that are just as beautiful but regarded as not good enough, inferior or not the real deal for some reason. Like I wrote, I think the old fashioned plain gold bands are lovely. I chose pink sapphires for my engagement ring because I wanted coloured stones and not white ones.

* Man-made stones have no appeal whatsoever to me. Half the thrill to me is that the bling is found in the nature. But if anybody wants a man made gem, that's fine.

* I like big gems but can't afford big diamonds, sapphires, rubys or emeralds, so I have bought aquamarines, amethysts, kunzites and quartz. The stones are beautiful, but not very expensive. I think it's strange that they are not more popular. Coloured stones are not big at all here, but the Italian jewelry designers make beautiful designs with the cheaper gems.

Hope I haven't offended anybody.

[Spider Burps]

The ring we ordered for my soon-to-be husband is titanium. We found it on Overstock for like $30 and fiance was all over it, because he is incredibly worried about losing an expensive ring. :) I hope it holds up well because he has perpetual bull in a china shop syndrome and if something nice -can- break, it -will- break if he has anything to do with it!

I'm totally anti-jewelry and anti-diamond, so it's funny that I ended up with an engagement ring. I know nothing about it, other than that it's white gold with one bigger diamond and two tiny ones, which is totally not my style... buuuut it was my great-great grandmother's and my mother gave it to my fiance to give to me! He figured the price was right as was the sentimentality so he did the whole proper proposal and everything. We've just bought my wedding band and were disappointed that it has diamonds in it, but they're some of the tiniest diamonds ever (1/10th of a carat total weight and it has like five diamonds, so they're weeeeetiny!) so we figured they were probably just "scraps" anyway which got rid of some of the guilt... :(

[Grace]

Titanium is cheap. Really cheap. I think you have this backward.

It didn't used to be. Maybe they think it still isn't. When the Titanium and Tungsten rings first came out I was working at a jewelry store and they were SO expensive. Like $1200 for a no-diamond band. Just because they were new and exciting and "indestructible." So when my hubby said that's what kind he thought he wanted I was like, "Oh great. There goes our honeymoon budget." But when we went to our local jeweler to shop I was shocked to find out how cheap they were. We ended up getting his ring for $250 and it wasn't a plain-Jane one. It has a carbon in-lay that is just geeky enough for my husband to love. I can't remember if it was titanium or tungsten though. You could probably get a plain one for a lot cheaper at a chain store. I also got a titanium ring for him for Christmas one year for a fashion ring form one of those daily deal sites for $4.95. It was a pretty cool ring but it ended up not fitting him.

Also, just because it's funny....I knew someone in college whose sister got an engagement fishing pole. For real.

[clever_name]

My ex-fiancee wanted to buy me a diamond. I think it's a big, fat waste of money (for me and my lifestyle... not saying that's the case for everyone), so I insisted that if he was going to buy me anything diamond-looking (which I didn't want at all), he buy me moissanite.

This was my ring:

For less than $1,000, I had a 2.5 carat ring that looked like a diamond. I loved that damn ring. :(

(We split up amicably, but I still didn't feel right asking him if I could pay him for the ring... too bad.)

ETA: moissanite is a lab-created diamond. CZ is not.

[clever_name]

I was waiting to see if anyone here was going to bring up moissanite. My engagement ring is moissanite too. I bought it at http://www.moissaniteco.com

Going with moissanite let us get a much better quality stone for a fraction of the price that a diamond would have cost.

I don't picture myself ever buying a diamond. There is no reason to when moissanite is another very durable, pretty stone that costs much less. I hate DeBeers. The truth is that diamonds are totally the product of a very cynical and manipulative marketing campaign: http://edwardjayepstein.com/diamond/chap20.htm

Whoops... I see someone else brought up moissanite. Good on ya, ladies. Moissanite is the way to go! :)

[Gizmola]

I'll be the loan person who loves the look of diamonds. Not only is it my birthstone, I just love the way it sparkles. Oooo, shiny!!! Now, I'm not in danger of having to worry about getting an ethically sourced diamond as I'm a total love pariah right now. But, should be crush get a clue and get down on bended knee, I wouldn't mind a small, tasteful antique cut diamond. I don't care about it being big and showy. In fact, I wear my grandmother's engagement ring which is a very small, 1940's setting and the sparkle is gorgeous. I don't care if the man gives me a chip; if it's sparkly I'm happy. Hell, if my crush would kiss me I'd be happy. Screw the diamond. Just get up on this, crush!!!! Sorry, I digress...

[keen23]

We went with platinum when we got married over a decade ago. I'm allergic to gold, so platinum was the way to go. Husband got a nice hefty band that has worn well, but has gotten pretty scratched up from his job. Even then, we could have saved a bundle and gone with white gold for him, but we wanted the durability of platinum.

[Jezebel]

* I think it's boring that it's a "must" to have a big white center stone, preferably a diamond in the engagement rings. There are other options that are just as beautiful but regarded as not good enough, inferior or not the real deal for some reason. Like I wrote, I think the old fashioned plain gold bands are lovely. I chose pink sapphires for my engagement ring because I wanted coloured stones and not white ones.

I agree with you on this. But I can think of a practical reason for going with a white stone--it goes with everything.

My favorite color is orange. There are deep orange sapphires that are to die for, and lots of other beautiful orange stones. I have two orange stone rings--a deep sunset-orange spessartite garnet, and a citrine that's a mellower tangerine color.

But I can't wear them with just anything--they clash with a lot of my wardrobe. Wear violet? Forget it.

The same is slightly less true for my (fake) emeralds, but true enough that I wouldn't want one in a wedding/engagement ring. Same for amethysts. And I have a deep red garnet ring that looks rich and beautiful against some colors, and simply dies against others. If I'm going to wear a piece of jewelry every day, I want it to look good with anything I might wear. Diamonds and other clear stones go with everything (and blue sapphires go with just about everything).

* Man-made stones have no appeal whatsoever to me. Half the thrill to me is that the bling is found in the nature. But if anybody wants a man made gem, that's fine.

* I like big gems but can't afford big diamonds, sapphires, rubys or emeralds, so I have bought aquamarines,

amethysts, kunzites and quartz. The stones are beautiful, but not very expensive. I think it's strange that they are not

more popular. Coloured stones are not big at all here, but the Italian jewelry designers make beautiful designs with

the cheaper.

I haven't been to a gem show in a while, but every time I go I'm knocked out by how many gorgeous stones there are that nobody knows about. And it's mind-boggling to think of these things forming naturally, deep in the earth. I really do prefer natural stones because there's something miraculous about them.

I bought lab emeralds because I wanted that exact color, in a flawless stone, of a certain size. It was a worthwhile compromise. But I'm a nerd who seeks out unusual gemstones, and I know most people are not. I think a big reason most people stick to diamonds is because DeBeers has already "educated" them so they feel confident they can pick a quality stone, that meets rigid quality standards, and not get ripped off (even if, in reality, they are). And rubies, emeralds, and sapphires are also considered "safe"--everyone knows they're valuable. But labradorite? What's that? And why is it so cheap? It must not be very good, if that's the case, right?..

[Elle]

Clementine, the thing is that natural gems found in nature are NOT rare, so their import is tightly controlled to keep their prices artificially inflated. A really really really large flawless blue diamond is pretty damned rare, but clear diamond, sapphires, emeralds, etc., aren't. Now what ARE are natural pearls. You've got to open a LOT of oysters to find one that grew a pearl from a natural piece of sediment. Funny thing, even when it comes to cultured pearls they're made to sound rare, and a strand of black cultures pearls them can set you back several hundred dollars or more. Yet the wholesale cost of those things is so cheap that I let my daughter play with my pearl cases (I make jewelry as a little "side" thing right now and use a lot of cultures pearls, I buy them for as cheaply as $3 for 16" worth (enough to make a standard pearl necklace).

And pearls are a total tangent, being animal-made instead of earth-made.

Anyway natural gems aren't rare. No more rare than aquamarine or topaz or anything else, but allow those gems to flow freely and it makes others look rare in comparison, at least as far as consumers can see. Quartz, etc., aren't as popular because the pricier, so-called "rare" gems hold all the status. Throughout history, whatever cost the most is what people wanted.

I agree that it's annoying that diamonds are the must-have as far as jewelry goes. Blame DeBeers. During WW2 they started the whole "a diamond is forever" and "ho else can 2 months salary last forever (especially if you die)" campaigns. Something that lasts forever when the marriage might last a few months because of the war? Sounded great, and people bought into it. Diamonds last forever (unless tapped with a hammer) and were an investment. And since then, diamonds went from being a rather bland stone used to not overpower those gorgeous filigree bands (that's why my ring's stone is a clear one, so that it doesn't detract from the setting and band) to being so elite that people put them on rings as solitaires so that the focus was on the stone itself.

However some people still like the look of a clear stone, and there's a reason it makes sense for many people. A white stone will never clash with anything you wear. And I have known brides who went with clear stones (diamonds, sapphires, whatever) for that reason alone. I've known brides ho loved certain settings, but felt they were too fancy to match their regular everyday clothing, so went with something simpler. It's also really hard to say that a certain stone of any particular color is the "real" stone and the rest are "fakes." Moissanites are virtually impossible to differentiate from "real" diamonds because they ARE real. The process was just sped up in a lab and doesn't come with any risk of human abuse or death, and all at a small fraction of buying into the cost of so-called rare gems that are really plentiful.

If you want the thrill of a naturally-found gemstone, I can tell you there are few thrills like going on a guided panning or mining expedition and finding your own. There is an astronomical number of natural stones mined commercially, and so many people have gemstones, including diamonds, but how many have a piece of jewelry with a gemstone, be it large or small, that they themselves found? :)

Grace, $1200 for a plane band? Sweet Jesus. Must have been the newness of rings being made from that stuff. I bought my husband one for $15 back when we were engaged a few years ago. Give it a few more years and that stuff will be sky-high again.