Adoption video creeps me out...

[Guest Anonymous]

Have we discussed this?

http://www.todaysthv.com/news/article/1 ... h-adoption

It's a news article about a couple in their late 20s who videoed themselves telling a 19-year old girl that they want to adopt her.

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The YouTube comments seem to be universally positive and praising God. I am totally squicked out. :shock:

It turns out that the new "Mom" is a 28 year old teacher who mentored the girl for 5 years in school. They invited her to live with them for 6 months to help her deal with budgeting and life skills while she started college. After just a few weeks, they called a meeting with her, recorded for Youtube, where they prayed with her, told her all the things that are great about her (including how she takes great care of their kids...) and that they wanted to adopt her. The video contains several disturbing minutes of the girl sobbing, before asking if she can call them "Mom" and "Dad", and the new "Dad" commenting that she has two siblings now and will one day have LOTS more.

They seem well-meaning, but seriously, WTF?

In the UK you can't even be adopted past age 18, though on the TV clip she is referred to as a 'teen' rather than as a young adult.

I can see how attractive it might seem to a girl who has been in care, as she has, since age 6, but eeuw, at the though of her being a 19-year old woman, suddenly calling a 28 year old man "Dad". She will probably be dating men that age soon....

[BravaAmica]

They want a live-in nanny for free. Well, after she works off the legal costs.

[Patsy]

I am a massive fan of adult adoption and any form of support that goes beyond the 18th birthday, where a lot of government support stops. I can't snark on a couple for adopting an 19-year-old just because they're young. Is there other... weirdness? The babysitting mention might be a bit odd, but then, they might just trying to be grateful and show their appreciation for the way she helps them in their living situation (which, if they're living a little like a family, I don't think is so wrong).

It might be unusual, but some young adopters do very well, and in this case they weren't matched with someone nine years younger, they ended up in a situation where that relationship occurred.

[Burris]

It's a bit odd, I'll grant, but there aren't many ways for people to legally extend their family ties around other adults who aren't related by blood or marriage.

It sounds like this couple wanted to give a younger woman legal (and therefor, in her mind, 'legitimized') access to a new family and to an expanded support network of aunts, uncles, and grandparents - all perhaps for the first time in the younger woman's life.

Assuming everything is on the level, and the guy here isn't just looking for a way to hide his new sister-wife, I don't see anything really wrong with it.

[Guest Anonymous]

Squicky:

+ Making a video of a very private, emotional moment and posting it over YouTube to promote Christian adoption, before the adoption has even taken place

+ Youngish adults adopting another young adult, when they have no experience of 'parenting' a young adult, and while in a position where they expect to increase their own family exponentially in the very near future.

+ A 19 year old calling a 28 year old "Dad", esp in a fundie context where Dad tends to have a strong role in guiding the 'daughters' future.

[Feberin]

I think the weirdest most messed up part is video taping and then putting it up on youtube. I just don't understand why you would want to do that especially since it might not be something the 19 year old would want on video tape. I also wonder if she's supposed to be a live in nanny without pay. I lived with my aunt and uncle after college and everything was great while I was doing a lot of childcare but once I started working (at a minnimum wage job that they thought I should quit since it wasn't going anywhere but I wanted SOME income) and was exhausted after work things stopped being so wonderful. When I moved in with them there was no arrangement where my living with them was contingent on providing childcare (I use that word because they were frequently home when I was taking care of their child). So I guess I'm just suspicious that there might be a similar situation here where everything is great as long as she helps with the kids but if she wants to have her own life or works long hours then forget it.

[Patsy]

Definitely agree that filming it is weird, but I'm the sort of person who gets angry at viral "Dad returns from Afghanistan, 5-year-old sobs" videos - how on EARTH did ANYONE think that moment should be shared publicly?

I commented on what anniec described for that reason, I wouldn't feel comfortable watching it even if, evidently, someone thought it was ok to share.