Young Duggar friend who is engaged/promised

[snickerz]

I was stalking instagram and came across a young Duggar friend Lizzy102096 who is 15 or 16. She just got her learner's permit. She is "promised" to a just-turned 16yo. She posts all kinds of comments about her "future husband" and it's just so... unsettling to me. She is a CHILD! He is a CHILD! She's like a junior high school girl with her first boyfriend.

 

About halfway down Lizzy'Tiffany's instagram page she explains how she met the Duggars - her mom stalked called J'chelle and in their conversation it came out that her husband was a painter, and Mrs. Duggar had been praying to find a painter to come paint their house. So they went down and painted their house (for free, I'm sure.)

[Visionoyahweh]

The whole young betrothal thing seems pretty common in their culture. Very creepy.

Nice grift, Michelle. I'm sure she's been praying for just about anyone to come by and do something for free.

[PBrooke]

edited because of too much personal info, sorry, but my point was 16-year-olds can get carried away regardless of whether they come from a fundie background. Course usually there are adults to try to talk sense into them.

[ceg045]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure at some point Famy confirmed Smuggar was "promised" to someone as a young teen (one of the Holt girls, perhaps?). Rumors are rampant as to why, but that girl, whoever she is, dodged a bullet.

[Rachel333]

Yikes, that's really young.

There was a 17-year-old girl who "graduated" a year early to marry one of the Holt boys, but he was a little older. I haven't heard of a 16-year-old before other than the one's we've talked about here.

[dawn9476]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure at some point Famy confirmed Smuggar was "promised" to someone as a young teen (one of the Holt girls, perhaps?). Rumors are rampant as to why, but that girl, whoever she is, dodged a bullet.

Not really considering that she was probably married off to someone else in the Gothard movement. Someone who could be worse than Josh. Yeah Josh sucks but there are definately worse out there.

ETA: I find it ironic that haters of Islam promise their children off at an early age like they do in certain Islamic areas.

[Rachel333]

None of the Holt girls are married. At least one has her own business making bows and handbags and such. They actually seem to be a lot more normal; they wear pants now, for one thing. The girls are starting a band, if anyone is curious: aviewthroughshades.blogspot.com

I really, really dislike Jim Holt, but the older girls always seemed genuinely nice and I wish them the best.

The Duggars and Holts still seem to be friends. The Duggars were the Holts' special guests at some pro-life seminar recently.

[alaeangelorum]

ETA: I find it ironic that haters of Islam promise their children off at an early age like they do in certain Islamic areas.

There are a lot of similarities between fundie courtship and Islamic relationships... eg, arranging to start a 'relationship' is done through the parents (though seems to be parent-parent rather than prospective husband-parent), there is no physical contact before marriage, they're not allowed to be completely alone together, and it's sort of hushed-up if you don't end up marrying the boy you are seeing (in fact that is a difference, among the girls I know it tends to be kept quiet until they are actually engaged rather than public announcements on blogs etc).

[kaetrin]

There are a lot of similarities between fundie courtship and Islamic relationships... eg, arranging to start a 'relationship' is done through the parents (though seems to be parent-parent rather than prospective husband-parent), there is no physical contact before marriage, they're not allowed to be completely alone together, and it's sort of hushed-up if you don't end up marrying the boy you are seeing (in fact that is a difference, among the girls I know it tends to be kept quiet until they are actually engaged rather than public announcements on blogs etc).

I don't think fundies really care about the similarity, though. You could say much the same thing about modesty rules. It would be like their attitude to Catholics and pro-life activism: the "even a stopped clock is right twice a day" approach.

[freejoytoo]

There are a lot of similarities between fundie courtship and Islamic relationships... eg, arranging to start a 'relationship' is done through the parents (though seems to be parent-parent rather than prospective husband-parent), there is no physical contact before marriage, they're not allowed to be completely alone together, and it's sort of hushed-up if you don't end up marrying the boy you are seeing (in fact that is a difference, among the girls I know it tends to be kept quiet until they are actually engaged rather than public announcements on blogs etc).

Fundy Christianity and fundy Islam are EXACTLY the same apart from the belief in Jesus and head coverings (and that does apply to some fundy Christians!) It kills me that they are exactly the same and refuse to see it.

[Rachel333]

So I was looking at her instagram, and her husband-to-be also looks really, really young. From her name, she must be only 15. At least they're making them wait a few years. It's scary to think that someone born in 1996 considers herself engaged.

Oh, and this comment here confirms that she's 15: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m2Hrflw ... yOqEjPQe1W

[mrs]

Wow, does the future husband ever post?

[ceg045]

None of the Holt girls are married. At least one has her own business making bows and handbags and such. They actually seem to be a lot more normal; they wear pants now, for one thing. The girls are starting a band, if anyone is curious: aviewthroughshades.blogspot.com

I really, really dislike Jim Holt, but the older girls always seemed genuinely nice and I wish them the best.

The Duggars and Holts still seem to be friends. The Duggars were the Holts' special guests at some pro-life seminar recently.

I'm glad to hear that...about the girls, I mean. At least some sparks of creative/entrepreneurial spirit seem to be encouraged among their daughters. I'm sure the Holt house is far from Girl Power Central, but as we've seen it could be way worse.

[Kitty]

Coming from a town where girls were usually engaged and referring to their boyfriends as "future husbands" at around 15-17... meh.

It's not Gothard-specific, but seems confined to rural areas in general.

My bigger concern is why Michelle needed a painter in the first place. Couldn't she just make Joseph do it?

[xDreamerx]

That video was soo weird. I don't have a better adjective so weird will have to do. *shudders*

[snarkbillie]

ecclesiaorg/truth/betrothal.html

Yuck.

[Elle]

...it came out that her husband was a painter, and Mrs. Duggar had been praying to find a painter to come paint their house. So they went down and painted their house (for free, I'm sure.)

It never crossed J-chelle's air-headed baby-rabid brain to do a google search or pick up a phone book. Gotta pray and do nothing to help yourself, just wait for a thousand people to cross your path until finally ONE does the work you need done, and consider it a prayer answered.

[Esther]

ecclesiaorg/truth/betrothal.html

Yuck.

That shit makes courtship sound like the pleasant option. Fuck these people and their inhumane non-values. Also, 'defrauding' isn't even a fucking word, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP.

Aaaaaaah!

[Sola]

Freejoy, muslims do believe in jesus, they believe he was a prophet.

But when you compare how the fundies practice their religion its not so different from islam which they profess to hate.

[hapamama]

My oldest son is turning 15 this year. I can't imagine him getting engaged a year from now. He's still trying to decide what he wants to do as a career for crying out loud!

[Witsec7]

My oldest son is turning 15 this year. I can't imagine him getting engaged a year from now. He's still trying to decide what he wants to do as a career for crying out loud!

For fundys marriage is the ultimate career.

[Rachel333]

I know it's normal to get engaged at that age for a lot of people, but I will continue to clutch my pearls. It really is just way too young.

[hapamama]

For fundys marriage is the ultimate career.

Those fundie young men have to support those huge families somehow....

My husband and I got married and had kids youngish (early 20s), but hubby had a good job with a wage that a 18 year old with a GED probably couldn't hope for...

Where I'm from, 16 years olds are generally having their first serious boyfriend/girlfriend experiences, not necessarily planning for marriage. My life would have been all kinds of screwed up if I had married my first serious boyfriend.

[Deleted05]

ecclesiaorg/truth/betrothal.html

Yuck.

This guy is quite the character. He has a whole article dedicated to why polygamy is not a sin.

[bananacat]

Michelle Duggar got married at 17. I'm surprised more Duggarlings weren't engaged at that age, but I guess it went so bad with Josh that they didn't want to go through it again.