How do fundies handle Menstruation?

[2 much chickenetti]

I was just wondering how fundies handle issues like menstruation? What do they tell their daughters? Are they allowed to take Midol/other drugs for cramps, or do they just "pray them away?" Inquiring minds want to know...

[finleeport]

I imagine they'd be like crazy Margaret White from Carrie (by Stephen King), who would lock her daughter in a closet and pray for forgiveness.

[Witsec7]

I imagine they'd be like crazy Margaret White from Carrie (by Stephen King), who would lock her daughter in a closet and pray for forgiveness.

This.

First thing that came to my mind as well.

[keen23]

I figured it would be more of a party type atmosphere. As in, this person is no longer a child, so we no longer have to worry about pesky things like schooling her, time to move onto the homemaking arts, since she's ready to be married off.

[Witsec7]

I'm sure the Maxwell girls are required to report to their headship monthly when ever they begin bleeding.

[uncreative]

My parents went through a 'fundie-lite' phase for a few years. When my mom had 'the talk' with me, it involved tea, cookies, and reading me Bible passages about menstruating women. She *did* give me some actual biological facts, though, so it could have been worse, I guess.

[Rachel333]

I wasn't totally fundie, but my mom explained it to me once when I was 10 and didn't talk about it again after except in whispers. I really thought that blood seeped out your abdomen through your skin, so my mom obviously didn't do a great job explaining.

[tropaka]

Hopping on the Margaret White/Carrie train - first thing that comes to mind. I

[virginmojito]

I assume they handle it as a disgrace, a curse, a punishment for original sin and for Eve causing adam to sin. I bet. They won't say it but I think they really look down on women for this curse.

[snarkbillie]

Luckily I went to public school and got the basic talk there from other girls who were allowed to go to the class explaining it. My mother now less fundy as an adult told me her mom never said anything to her about it and when it happened she thought she was dying. I got really bad cramps once and my mom took me to the doctor and accused me of having a miscarriage. I had no idea what she was talking about. I just have endometriosis. I was told that it was a sin punishment and that I should repent and it would go away. No such luck.

[Clementine]

I read on some fundie blog, can't remember which one, about drinking herbal tea for the cramps. It may have been chamomille or raspberry leaf tea.

I have also read about "mama cloths"... homemade washable menstrual pads. :S

[GeoBQn]

And what happens when a girl in a fundy family has problems with menstruation? Would she be scared to approach her mom? Would she even have enough knowledge to know something was wrong? I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndrome when I was 17. I had been dealing with different symptoms for years (acne, bad cramps, mood swings, abnormal hair growth), but the thing that made me realize that something was wrong and I had to see a doctor was when I went through two different time spans where I didn't get my period for three months in a row. I've read about some fundy families keeping track of menstruation with calendars--what kind of hell would a teen girl catch if she was going that long without getting a period? Would they believe her at all when she said that she wasn't pregnant?

[snarkbillie]

I have also read about "mama cloths"... homemade washable menstrual pads. :S

I use those. It's actually less gross and horrible than pads. I suppose tampons would be ideal, but I can't use those.

[dairyfreelife]

I read on some fundie blog, can't remember which one, about drinking herbal tea for the cramps. It may have been chamomille or raspberry leaf tea.

I have also read about "mama cloths"... homemade washable menstrual pads. :S

I have heard of chamomile tea. I drink it as well and the leaf tea and they do help a little. Was this the blog? feelinfeminine.com/?p=4615

And what happens when a girl in a fundy family has problems with menstruation? Would she be scared to approach her mom? Would she even have enough knowledge to know something was wrong? I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndrome when I was 17. I had been dealing with different symptoms for years (acne, bad cramps, mood swings, abnormal hair growth), but the thing that made me realize that something was wrong and I had to see a doctor was when I went through two different time spans where I didn't get my period for three months in a row. I've read about some fundy families keeping track of menstruation with calendars--what kind of hell would a teen girl catch if she was going that long without getting a period? Would they believe her at all when she said that she wasn't pregnant?

I'm not sure. I used to have cramps so bad they would keep me down for a week, popping pills and doing anything for relief. I had to miss school, work, etc. My father used to get so mad and would say I needed to tough it out and get over it. Then I finally said I couldn't take it anymore and that I was going to take out my lady parts. I went to an OB/GYN and he is rather certain I have endometriosis. Went on the pill because it's the safest, most non-invasive way to treat it and indeed, it has helped. The current pill I am using is awful though and I am getting off it when I see my doc again at the end of the month and my pills are finished. I imagine many of these fundie parents wouldn't help and would probably not have taken me to the doctor or let me take the pill despite that is proven to help in many cases with stopping the tissue spread, regulating the cycle and easing the pains of it. It's still birth control. I would hate to be in a family that refused to get me help. I imagine PCOS to not be much different-it's the fault of a woman and she has to pay for the curse of Eve.

[crazyforkate]

My friend grew up in a fundy family and they wouldn't tell the girls until they started...and made the older sisters keep it a secret! When my friend got hers she thought she was dying. Luckily, the experience gave her the courage to tell her younger sister ahead of time so she wouldn't go through the same thing.

Of course, she came out as ftm trans a couple of years ago and the whole family turned their backs, so that's a whole different can of worms...

[mockingbird]

I'm not sure. I used to have cramps so bad they would keep me down for a week, popping pills and doing anything for relief. I had to miss school, work, etc. My father used to get so mad and would say I needed to tough it out and get over it. Then I finally said I couldn't take it anymore and that I was going to take out my lady parts. I went to an OB/GYN and he is rather certain I have endometriosis. Went on the pill because it's the safest, most non-invasive way to treat it and indeed, it has helped. The current pill I am using is awful though and I am getting off it when I see my doc again at the end of the month and my pills are finished. I imagine many of these fundie parents wouldn't help and would probably not have taken me to the doctor or let me take the pill despite that is proven to help in many cases with stopping the tissue spread, regulating the cycle and easing the pains of it. It's still birth control. I would hate to be in a family that refused to get me help. I imagine PCOS to not be much different-it's the fault of a woman and she has to pay for the curse of Eve.

I looked this up on Catholic Answers (legalistic Catholic forum, can tend toward fundie) awhile ago because I had the same question. Apparently they are okay with birth control if the girl is not married, though they all seem to believe the rumors about how harmful it is. After that you are supposed to do as much as you can to find an alternative treatment so that you can be open to having children in your marriage.

[liltwinstar]

I was pretty lucky - I got factual and age appropriate information, so I knew what was going on.

However, I did also have bad cramps and the only "cure" for that was pain pills and laying in bed for a day/month, which was not fun at all, nor did it work all that well. My mom is very, very anti-birth control, so she didn't take me to the dr. for the cramps, since she "knew" they only cure they'd provide was BC. It was pretty bad, though - I almost passed out once, just because of the pain. My mom was pretty doctor-averse anyway, and, looking back, I'm pretty sure I had precocious puberty (where you develop way earlier than you should - I got "mosquito bite" boobs at 6/7 years old), but that apparently wasn't a concern either, although in fairness, that was 20+ years ago, so I'm not sure what a doctor would have done about it anyway.

And yes, "alternative" stuff was suppsed to be tried - limiting caffeine, exercise, tea, whatever. I don't think those are bad ideas, but sometimes you need to bring on the big guns.

I've told my husband that if we have a daughter and she has even one episode of what I experienced, I'm taking her to the doctor for help right away!

[Sola]

I imagine they'd be like crazy Margaret White from Carrie (by Stephen King), who would lock her daughter in a closet and pray for forgiveness.

That was what I though happened with the Lydia of Purple daughters. I just get the feeling that would have happened to them.

[ADoyle90815]

I'm also one who thought of Margaret White from Carrie. One nice thing about not being raised with much religion was that my mom told me about periods before I started, and I actually had an idea of what the lesson on puberty was going to be about in school, when the girls and boys were split up. The only thing I told her when I started was that I was going to need my own supply of pads. My mom didn't even freak out when I started using her tampons in high school, in fact she got me my own box. My mom was also the one to suggest I talk to the doctor about birth control pills to treat cramping and to lighten my flow, since on my heaviest days, I was changing products every couple of hours.

[finleeport]

Another thought that comes to mind about the Margaret White/Carrie train;

Would they think that daughter is now a slut and had lustful thoughts to explain why she had her menstruation?

They also did use the excuse of women being "inherently evil" so as to control them.

[Hane]

I wasn't totally fundie, but my mom explained it to me once when I was 10 and didn't talk about it again after except in whispers. I really thought that blood seeped out your abdomen through your skin, so my mom obviously didn't do a great job explaining.

A woman I know read Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret when she was ten or so, and was confused by the reference to a "sanitary belt," and got the idea that women menstruated through their navels and the belt was worn around the waist to keep the pad in place.

[xDreamerx]

I wonder if they would be able to use the pill to regulate their periods or lessen them if they were irregular and/or heavy? I mean yes they hate the pill, but this would not be for contraceptive purposes. The Catholic Answers thing is interesting. Apparently some allowances would be made if the young woman had a medical condition, but what if she didn't? What if she just wanted more control over her body? Hmm..control? Probably a "sin".

Apparently, Judy Blume has now been revised so that the reference to the sanitary belt isn't in newer editions. I assume it just mentions adhesive pads or something.

[Eclipse]

A woman I know read Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret when she was ten or so, and was confused by the reference to a "sanitary belt," and got the idea that women menstruated through their navels and the belt was worn around the waist to keep the pad in place.

I was confused by that but it was because sanitary belts no longer existed by the time I read it. Thankfully, my mom told me what happens and my public school teachers had diagrams and videos that cleared up anything questions.

My Catholic parents had no problem with having all three of their daughters on the pills. We were all on them for health reasons but then my parents are Catholic fundies and don't have a problem with birth control.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I always had extremely painful debilitating and irregular periods. I am on the pill to help with that. I imagine fundies wouldn't allow their daughters to do that and they'd tell them to pray through it and they had to suffer for being a woman or something. I hope most of them don't have to put it on the family calendar. I imagine it might be celebratory for them, since daughters are taught their purpose in life is to bear children and their period showing up proves one day they can. Or something.

[chaotic life]

On the Momys board, the majority of women don't tell their daughters anything, and only tell as much as absolute necessary after they start cycling. It was my impression during my years there that they were not giving accurate information even then. They certainly cautioned that you should NOT explain marital relations nor where babies come from until a young woman is engaged, as close to her wedding day as possible.

Of course, it was my vocal horror over the SAHD moveent and the increasingly bizarre efforts being taken to shield girls from everything in the world that basically got me booted as a bad fundie there. So, it's been four years since I was there. I just don't think they got less restrictive since I got thrown out of the sandbox.