Do Fundies Ever Divorce?

[Sydney Fox]

Steve is already abusive so he would probably give the SIL a pat on the back for being such a dominant and commanding manly man. If it was bad enough that even Steve couldn't deny it, he would "encourage" his daughter to be forgiving and more submissive, and to try to work things out no matter what. He would tell her to try to avoid triggers, and if it was physical abuse that she couldn't avoid, he would tell her that it's nothing compared to the pain Jesus went through on the cross, or compared to the eternal pain she'd have in Hell if she divorced.

I'm not sure about this. I think Steve is such a control freak that he wouldn't appreciate someone else abusing his property. What's his is ALWAYS his. For this reason, I don't think any of his daughters have a hope in hell of ever getting married.

[LaydNimue]

My aunt is married to a man from a fundie family and his mother recently died. The fundie mother *did* divorce because her ex was an alcoholic bum and at the time of her death she had been remarried for 34 years. She had stayed with their alcoholic father until all her children were well grown - into their late 20's. NOW, and this just burns me so much, her daughters are removing her ashes from the urn niche the mother had bought for herself, and are reburying the urn with her EX-HUSBAND. Yes, with the ex! Worse, they are refusing to include either her maiden name or her 2nd married name. They will engrave her headstone with her first name and the surname of the man she divorced over 35 years ago. All this with the justification that the 2nd marriage was not valid in the eyes of their religion or under God's law.

[Austin]

My aunt is married to a man from a fundie family and his mother recently died. The fundie mother *did* divorce because her ex was an alcoholic bum and at the time of her death she had been remarried for 34 years. She had stayed with their alcoholic father until all her children were well grown - into their late 20's. NOW, and this just burns me so much, her daughters are removing her ashes from the urn niche the mother had bought for herself, and are reburying the urn with her EX-HUSBAND. Yes, with the ex! Worse, they are refusing to include either her maiden name or her 2nd married name. They will engrave her headstone with her first name and the surname of the man she divorced over 35 years ago. All this with the justification that the 2nd marriage was not valid in the eyes of their religion or under God's law.

:shock:

I have no words.

[racheepoo]

My parents divorced when I was 15. My mom was asked to leave the church after being put under church discipline. I remember walking in from (christian) school one day and seeing the pastor and his wife in my mom's living room watching her cry from their attempt to destroy her with words. I was told publicly at school that there was no way I was going to heaven since my parents were divorced. My dad came out smelling like a rose--my mom lost all her friends, her community, everyone she'd ever known despite 18 years of marriage and 11 kids fitting into that structure. Joke was on them though...she cut her hair and put on a pair of pants, went to nursing school, started making money and got some confidence, and make a whole new circle of friends that didn't expect her to hide behind patriarchy. I went off to college the next year and escaped.

And we were just fundie-lite :shrug

[valsa]

It's unfortunate but I have to think that, in some cases (obviously not all and perhaps not even most), the shunning is not undeserved. These fundies belong to a church that they know has this hateful belief and many of them probably participated in collectively shunning others who were divorced or seperated before them. It seems like one of those "it's unfair now because it's happening to me" things that I find really, really annoying.

[Beeks]

Just an FYI: Sister Mary Savage is a sockpuppet of Luckylassie's. Another sockpuppet she had was kynzie_obannon.

I feel really stupid asking this, but can somebody explain the sock thing to me? I know it's against the rules to have multiple names, but can somebody explain 1) why this is so bad and 2) what we are supposed to do with the information that certain names are socks? This is the only forum I really post on so I don't understand these things....

[Patsy]

I have missed Lucky Lassie. IIRC everyone jumped all over her when she shared the plot of a book she wanted to write about fundies and then she stopped coming here.

No. She said "I am writing a book. What do you think?" pomology said "You haven't given us enough to be able to provide any sort of feedback." She cried about how mean everyone was, boohoo, and the nice comment afterwards was brushed off with a "No, no, it's okay, I'll just be over here CRYING" sort of response.

[flojo]

My parents divorced when I was 15. My mom was asked to leave the church after being put under church discipline. I remember walking in from (christian) school one day and seeing the pastor and his wife in my mom's living room watching her cry from their attempt to destroy her with words. I was told publicly at school that there was no way I was going to heaven since my parents were divorced. My dad came out smelling like a rose--my mom lost all her friends, her community, everyone she'd ever known despite 18 years of marriage and 11 kids fitting into that structure. Joke was on them though...she cut her hair and put on a pair of pants, went to nursing school, started making money and got some confidence, and make a whole new circle of friends that didn't expect her to hide behind patriarchy. I went off to college the next year and escaped.

And we were just fundie-lite :shrug

I officially love your Mum

[treemom]

Of the few very public examples of fundie divorce I've seen, there's usually an accompanying social ostracism and in some cases, a loss of faith or a radical redefinition of faith. Remember Bethany Torode? She's blogged frankly about the reasons for her divorce, which were due to spousal sexual abuse, and while she does still identify as Christian, she certainly isn't the conservative NFP advocate she once was.

One of my gateway fundies was Natalie Nyquist, whose initial divorce was tolerated by her YLCF social group as it was instigated by her husband, not by her. But when she was remarried under circumstances the other women didn't agree with, she found herself scrubbed from their blog. When the circumstances of her falling-out with YLCF were discussed at FreeJinger, Ashleigh Baker actually showed up to cast doubt on Natalie's mental health as if to say everyone should just ignore what she was saying, which was a completely dirty move that didn't go over well with anyone on the board. Natalie seems to have found comfort in identifying as Orthodox nowadays.

It seems most fundies would rather stick their heads in the sand and deny that sometimes divorce happens to good people and that some people are better off divorced than in an unhappy relationship. Right, if we were all perfect and godly, bad things would never happen to us. Some of 'em need to have a good re-read of the book of Job.

Which always amused me, because as I recall Ashleigh's mother was left by her husband and then later remarried.

She would be one of the people I thought about in this thread.

[lilwriter85]

I know a fundie lite couple that almost divorced . This couple and their family lived down the road from my family. They homeschooled their sons and made their livings through the husband's computer repair business and the wife's accounting business. This couple wasn't big about budgeting and managing money well. The husband basically had too much of a expensive taste that lead to debt and they end up in foreclosure. The husband filed for divorce, but they ended up staying together and there were rumors that the wife's family and the members of church were strongly discouraging divorce.

Fundies do divorce but it seems to be in small numbers. I remember there were a couples of posters here who were fundie and had divorced.

[Rosa]

I've known lots of fundy-lites who divorced (including my parents, who were headed right down the path until my mom said, fuck it, i'm going back to college instead of working on staying sweet). They just become less fundy in order to/because of the divorce.

[xReems]

I know there was a family that was discussed on this site briefly of the Morie family. I know they were uber fundie but then a few years back, something happened and the parents split up. From their website, it looked like they went through a nasty divorce; children were split up and I think one of their daughters went to a boarding school or something. I don't know all the details of it, since it isn't my right to dig up their past, but, that's one fundie divorce I know.

Honestly, the reason why the divorce rates are low in fundie culture is mainly because a woman is taught to be a stay at home wife/mother and not have a proper education to support herself. If she divorces her husband, how will she be able to support herself and the kids?

[Nurse Jenna]

Brant Morie and Tamika Morie divorced after 27 years of marriage and 10 kids.

moriefamily.com/02%20Family.htm

[Witsec7]

The Mories sent their daughter Cherish to Hephziba house. Bastards.

[Austin]

The Mories sent their daughter Cherish to Hephziba house. Bastards.

OMG, that's terrible. Poor child.

[Nurse Jenna]

The Mories sent their daughter Cherish to Hephziba house. Bastards.

Stupid F&%*s! I didn't know that. It was Brant who apparently was not allowed visitations with his minor children without supervision. Allegedly something happened between him and Cherish that caused Tamika to toss him out of the house and file for divorce.

[Witsec7]

I followed the Morries before I ever found out about FJ. He ministered to a bunch of Slavic folks in OK and may now be in Korea. Cherish is married and appears to have recovered enough to be on a site for former Hephziba girls. I'm all for data mining but I do draw the line with the Hephziba girls who seek to maintain their privacy in closed forums. My parents were going to send me off to the Maggies (and I have friends who were lost to the Maggies) so I respect their journeys and privacy.

[Nurse Jenna]

I followed the Morries before I ever found out about FJ. He ministered to a bunch of Slavic folks in OK and may now be in Korea. Cherish is married and appears to have recovered enough to be on a site for former Hephziba girls. I'm all for data mining but I do draw the line with the Hephziba girls who seek to maintain their privacy in closed forums. My parents were going to send me off to the Maggies (and I have friends who were lost to the Maggies) so I respect their journeys and privacy.

I'm glad to hear that she is ok (somewhat ok). I also met Morries before FJ but I don't really know much about them after the divorce. They were my gateway in to the fundiedom btw. Do you know if Tamika is still a fundie?

[Witsec7]

I never really followed Tamika, I feel she was an accomplice and part and parcel of sending Cherish away. I wouldn't stop to piss on either of the Morie parents if they were on fire.

[xReems]

The Mories sent their daughter Cherish to Hephziba house. Bastards.

Did they really?! From what I read on their website, it looked like they sent her to a school right outside of their hometown. That's messed up though if they sent her to HH.

[xReems]

I'm glad to hear that she is ok (somewhat ok). I also met Morries before FJ but I don't really know much about them after the divorce. They were my gateway in to the fundiedom btw. Do you know if Tamika is still a fundie?

I heard that Tamika is much more mainstream and supposedly has a new man in her life.

It seems that most of the older ones are more mainstream compared to pre-divorce time.

[Nurse Jenna]

I never really followed Tamika, I feel she was an accomplice and part and parcel of sending Cherish away. I wouldn't stop to piss on either of the Morie parents if they were on fire.

Shoot, I meant to write Cherish, not Tamika :doh:

[simplysweet]

Shoot, I meant to write Cherish, not Tamika :doh:

You were still right - look at these pictures compared to the ones from their old site. She looks younger and a lot different!

www.facebook.com/tamikalea

[CynicMom]

No, fundies never divorce. If they divorce it's proof that they were never fundy to begin with [/snark].

[virginmojito]

No, fundies never divorce. If they divorce it's proof that they were never fundy to begin with [/snark].

So... if youre not lucky enough and your parents set you up with an a-hole, you are doomed for life. :violin: And that's what being a fundy means.