Bittners/By Grace Alone

[fundiefan]

Under the letter of law, she may be an accused pedophile, but I would be very surprised if Priscilla was actually sexually attracted to children. She could very well be suffering from mental illness as a result of being gang-raped, apparently physically injured to the extent that she needed hospitalization, and then being blamed for causing the rape to happen.

Or, if she was told at New Beginnings that what happened to her wasn't so bad as to justify her behavior afterwards, she may have abused those children as further acting out (if what happened to me wasn't bad, then this isn't bad either!) and with the intent of being caught (else why would she photograph the acts of abuse and then leave her laptop behind when she ran away?)

Or, she could have been sexually abused within her family or church community, starting when she was about the age of her alleged victims. My understanding (from counselors who specialize in therapy for sexual abuse victims) is that sexual abuse as a child can leave you stuck developmentally at the age when the abuse took place. In that case even if Priscilla was 18 years old when this happened, she was operating at the level of a much younger child.

Understand that I am in no way dismissing what happened to the children as being anything less than horrible, but Priscilla may not be the monster she's being made out to be. I can only hope that in prison she receives the help she so desperately needed years ago.

The number of mental health issues related to a young girl being gang raped are too numerous and expansive to guess at what they could possibly be. And, while I believe she is responsible for her actions and should not escape ramifications, I also believe that there is WAY more to all of it than 'just' sexually abusing children. The mind is a dark hole of mystery. No one knows what happens when one is hurt, scared, manipulated, forced to say one thing while feeling another. What is known of her actions is very limited; the few news reports say very little. Her family says nothing and paints a pretty picture of ignorance and secrecy for their own benefit. She grew up in a stifling, rule filled environment. She was violently raped, and for a fundie girl whose worth is 100% in her purity, there is even more tied to that than the 'average' violent rape. She not only had to deal with the violence against her, but you know the shame that she is no longer pure wreaked havoc on her mind. She was then sent to an abusive place to be dealt with because her parents couldn't love her enough to do what she needed, which involved love, trust, respect, understanding and LISTENING. Getting her help with her mental and emotional trauma. Then she was shipped off to another family, separated from her own family yet again for who knows what reason - the rejection had to be as painful as the rape if not more so. Drinking and drugs didn't 'fix' her; reform school didn't 'fix' her, a new family didn't 'fix' her - I don't doubt that she felt she was un-fixable, tainted, ruined and damaged for life.

Her family failed her. Her religion failed her. Her church failed her. Her 'educators' and 'reformers' at the fundie school failed her. She no doubt believed she failed, period.

It doesn't excuse anything, but it does go a long fucking way in explaining how a hopeless, emotionally unstable, hurting, scared young girl turned to hurting others, in the same way she was hurt.

OTHERS contributed to what happened. It could have been prevented at many steps along the way. It wasn't. She was pushed beyond her mind's ability to cope.

I do not believe she is a pedophile, as in attracted to children. I do not believe she is a sexual deviant. I fully believe, from what little I know from the media and from how fundie's operate, that she is a victim of a life no person should be forced to live. She is a victim of a level of 'godliness' and perfection that she could never live up to; a victim not only of a violent crime, but one that took her entire value and worth from her as well as her self respect, trust and dignity.

[fundifugee]

Under the letter of law, she may be an accused pedophile, but I would be very surprised if Priscilla was actually sexually attracted to children. She could very well be suffering from mental illness as a result of being gang-raped, apparently physically injured to the extent that she needed hospitalization, and then being blamed for causing the rape to happen.

Or, if she was told at New Beginnings that what happened to her wasn't so bad as to justify her behavior afterwards, she may have abused those children as further acting out (if what happened to me wasn't bad, then this isn't bad either!) and with the intent of being caught (else why would she photograph the acts of abuse and then leave her laptop behind when she ran away?)

Or, she could have been sexually abused within her family or church community, starting when she was about the age of her alleged victims. My understanding (from counselors who specialize in therapy for sexual abuse victims) is that sexual abuse as a child can leave you stuck developmentally at the age when the abuse took place. In that case even if Priscilla was 18 years old when this happened, she was operating at the level of a much younger child.

Understand that I am in no way dismissing what happened to the children as being anything less than horrible, but Priscilla may not be the monster she's being made out to be. I can only hope that in prison she receives the help she so desperately needed years ago.

This story is so sick and screwed up that it brings out the wild conspiracy theorist in me. Sorry in advance.

What if those images were part of a pattern of abuse in her family or the 'reform school', and were planted on her computer to nail and discredit her when she tried to escape?

[Clementine]

By Grace Alone is the only fundie blog I have actually followed and I have wondered why there are so few updates this year. I am chocked and sad to see what has happened to Priscilla or Sil as she always was called in the blog.

Jacqueline and Sil seemed to be so, so close before, almost like twins and they also seemed to run the household, more or less.

There must be a bacground story to all this and I have a feeling that it won't be flattering for the family. The mother seems really creepy and without any normal limits.

When the mother had the last baby, the girl, it was Jacqueline and Sil who were there for the delivery. (It was a home birth in the parent's bedroom.) From the blog, I got the impression that the father was there, but sitting there holding his wife's hand, while the two teenage girls were serving her "down below". I think that Jacqueline was the one who recieved the baby and handed her to the mother.

I remember being so chocked about the whole situation. I think it's insane to let two teenage girls without any education deliver a baby - quite a responsibility if something goes wrong. I also think that it's downright creepy to let two teenage girls get a good crotch shot of their mother. It's borderline incestuous to me - the whole situation is just too... intimate to make me feel ok with it.

The mother had an open wall on FB back then and she sounded a lot like Razing Ruth's father when she wrote her updates, very Old Testament in her language:

"We KNOW that you were placed on this earth to speak HIS MESSAGE. There are IMPORTANT things that you must do in HIS NAME!"

"You must be that VESSLE!"

"He seemed so nice, but now we know that he was a SNAKE in a sheep's clothing!" (The last quote was actually written about Jacqueline's ex-fiancé. She did the whole courting thing and was engaged for a couple of months before she just posted that the engagement was off and never mentioned why.

Does anybody know what happened with the last pregnancy? The mother was pregnant in early 2010 and I think she was four months pregnant when they announced it on FB and the blog. At the same time the mother wrote about going to Chicago (I think) for her cancer treatment.

After that, the pregnancy was never mentioned again.

I really wonder what is going on in that family, behind all the lovely photos.

[Clementine]

This story is so sick and screwed up that it brings out the wild conspiracy theorist in me. Sorry in advance.

What if those images were part of a pattern of abuse in her family or the 'reform school', and were planted on her computer to nail and discredit her when she tried to escape?

That's my thoughs too! :(

[NurseNell]

This story is so sick and screwed up that it brings out the wild conspiracy theorist in me. Sorry in advance.

What if those images were part of a pattern of abuse in her family or the 'reform school', and were planted on her computer to nail and discredit her when she tried to escape?

Sorry to say, I too could imagine this as the case.

When I looked at the blog I thought I recognized Jacqueline but not from that blog. Who was she engaged to? It must have been another blog I saw her photos on.

[Clementine]

Sorry to say, I too could imagine this as the case.

When I looked at the blog I thought I recognized Jacqueline but not from that blog. Who was she engaged to? It must have been another blog I saw her photos on.

A young man who was in the Air Force just like here father. I think he was 21-22 and was stationed in Oklahoma. Quite good looking too - I'll try to remember his name.

EDIT: Found him!

http://www.myweddingDOTcom/michaelandbo ... party.html

Jacqueline was engaged to Erik. (Scroll down.)

[haveapicniclife]

I'm pretty sure her engagement was announced on a few blogs, I think Jessica McDonald (or maybe Tiffany?) had it up on theirs because I found the cached version last year.

[fundiefun]

This story is so sick and screwed up that it brings out the wild conspiracy theorist in me. Sorry in advance.

What if those images were part of a pattern of abuse in her family or the 'reform school', and were planted on her computer to nail and discredit her when she tried to escape?

That's what I think because she honestly believes up and down that she is innocent because this wasn't until after she ran away from the family she was staying with. They took away her cell phone, her computer, and wouldn't even let her leave the house as I last recall and it was so bad that running away as a better alternative to staying there. She left the family after running away for months and the images just were now found. I can't help but wonder what went on with the family she stayed with for her to run away when they had control of her cell phone and computer the entire time she was there and ended up running away. Something tells me there is more to the story then this or there are some twisted going ons in the family she was with before running away.

[fundiefan]

Can anyone post a not DOT link to the engagement? I can't get through the truncating on my phone.

[Deleted03]

Can anyone post a not DOT link to the engagement? I can't get through the truncating on my phone.

mywedding.com/michaelandbonnieluttkus/wedding_party.html

[puddle]

mywedding.com/michaelandbonnieluttkus/wedding_party.html

That's actually his brother.

[Clementine]

That's actually his brother.

The ex-fiancé is one of the groomsmen - it was the only photo of him I could find when googling.

[fundiefun]

The ex-fiancé is one of the groomsmen - it was the only photo of him I could find when googling.

What happened with that was that he turned out to not be so into commitment and fidelity.

[Clementine]

What happened with that was that he turned out to not be so into commitment and fidelity.

I really wonder. He went from being "one of the godliest young men in our country" to "a SNAKE in a sheep's clothing" in just three weeks. The engagement was very short - just one or two months and all of his photos were removed from the blog without a word.

[TheSassyOne]

How long ago was this engagement? I wonder if the fiance turning into a "snake" may have anything to do with her younger sister? She also doesn't seem that charitable towards her younger sister, so I wonder if something happened between the two? Just a guess...probably waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of the ballpark though.

[Clementine]

How long ago was this engagement? I wonder if the fiance turning into a "snake" may have anything to do with her younger sister? She also doesn't seem that charitable towards her younger sister, so I wonder if something happened between the two? Just a guess...probably waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of the ballpark though.

They announced that they were courting on Jan 8 2010 (I remember it because I was in a car accident the same day), got engaged one or two weeks later and the whole thing was over in early february.

[fundiefun]

How long ago was this engagement? I wonder if the fiance turning into a "snake" may have anything to do with her younger sister? She also doesn't seem that charitable towards her younger sister, so I wonder if something happened between the two? Just a guess...probably waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of the ballpark though.

As far as I know he had a girl on the side is basically and they broke it off when the oldest found out.

[NurseNell]

From the blog 6 20 2010:

They finally gave us some news yesterday. They said she has a pelvic/pubic infection and inflammation and that she has other deeper problems with some of her endocrine organs but that they can't dig deeper until the infection goes down. After 3 days on their strongest anti-biotic she still isn't improving. Please keep praying! WE love and miss y'all! <3

Now, this sounds to me like PID (pelvic inflammatory disease), which occurs from sexually transmitted bacteria like gonorrhea and chlamydia. It indicates sexual activity, and IMO is a good indication this young, fundie girl was being molested in an ongoing situation. Does 6/20/2010 predate the gang rape? I think it does but I'll have to look some more.

[NurseNell]

A young man who was in the Air Force just like here father. I think he was 21-22 and was stationed in Oklahoma. Quite good looking too - I'll try to remember his name.

Her father is currently in the Army according to her blog. Her brother is in the Air Force, he's at the Air Force Academy.

[Drunkenbutterfly]

That's what I think because she honestly believes up and down that she is innocent because this wasn't until after she ran away from the family she was staying with. They took away her cell phone, her computer, and wouldn't even let her leave the house as I last recall and it was so bad that running away as a better alternative to staying there. She left the family after running away for months and the images just were now found. I can't help but wonder what went on with the family she stayed with for her to run away when they had control of her cell phone and computer the entire time she was there and ended up running away. Something tells me there is more to the story then this or there are some twisted going ons in the family she was with before running away.

That thought has crossed my mind, too. Not saying anything against the ability of the police to investigate correctly, BUT: I have been wondering if there was a 4th party involved in those pics/videos(e.g. the adults of the other family). And now she gets all the blame for that, because being gang-raped and all AND not being able to pray it away makes her a total s*** anyway.

I hope that her family gets her a VERY good lawyer and that EVERYONE from her family to church members, to the OTHER family(especially their computers!) and to all those fundy friends they have are investigated as well and that someone finally starts listening to her.

[Deleted03]

From the blog 6 20 2010:

Now, this sounds to me like PID (pelvic inflammatory disease), which occurs from sexually transmitted bacteria like gonorrhea and chlamydia. It indicates sexual activity, and IMO is a good indication this young, fundie girl was being molested in an ongoing situation. Does 6/20/2010 predate the gang rape? I think it does but I'll have to look some more.

she could have caught that during the rape... more than one man, multiplying the odds of STDs...

[NurseNell]

she could have caught that during the rape... more than one man, multiplying the odds of STDs...

Definitely. When was the gang rape? For some reason I thought it was after June 2010.

[Clementine]

I wonder if this blog post from June 2010 refers to the rape:

jacquelinemb.blogspot.com/2010/06/why-does-god-allow-pain-and-suffering.html

I also wonder if the rape have been reported in any media. I would think that a gang rape of a 16-year-old Christian girl who is out jogging would cause quite a stir if it was reported to the police. Can you find any news stories about it?

And also - if she was in hospital for weeks after a brutal gang rape, I think it's quite horrible to take photos of her in her hospital bed, smiling and posing for the camera and then post them on a public blog.

There also seem to be a lot of cards, balloons, gifts and visitors. I don't know - and everybody reacts differently - but if somehting like that had happened to me at 16, or at any age, I would only want one thing: privacy.

[Drunkenbutterfly]

she could have caught that during the rape... more than one man, multiplying the odds of STDs...

OMG, I was just thinking: Would they let her get the morning-after pill? Just imagine...

[Witsec1]

Ugh, what a horrid story. I can't imagine making that chirpy Christmas post when this was going on. How could they?

I also remember looking at this blog before, and there were pictures of the family at ATI headquarters with Bill Gothard. I can't remember if Priscilla was there or when it was.

I am wondering now if the "gang-rape" story was made up as a cover for abuse by a family member or trusted friend of the family. Should be fairly easy to check if we knew the name of the town they lived in then.