A letter to girls about modesty!

[FJismyheadship]

A Letter To Girls I Know (on Modesty) (author’s name removed at his request)

Posted on June 24, 2010 by annawood

A Letter to the Girls I Know:

Dear Girls,

There are two kinds of men: Godly men, and worldly men. What kind of man do you want? I’m betting most of you said “a Godly man.†Someday, you want to marry a man who loves God with every fiber of his being because he will be an excellent husband and father. He will honor and be true only to you. Most women want a Godly man or at least think they do. Well, I think I have found a way to tell you exactly what kind of guy you will get. I don’t even have to know you! All I have to do is look at you. The kind of guy you want or will get is advertised by the clothing you wear. I know what men want. Trust me, I am a guy. I know more guys than you do and I know them better. I know what we think, what we talk about, what we want, and what we look for, and it is different for each one of us depending on our relationship with God. I’m sure you already know this, but men were created differently than you. We have different desires and priorities. Our eyes and minds react very differently to some things than yours do. It isn’t disgusting, perverted, or wrong; it is wonderful and good! It is how God made us. It’s how we handle these differences that separate a Godly man from a worldly man.

A worldly man doesn’t control himself, rather, he looks at anything that attracts his attention or gets him excited. A worldly guy has no problem when girls wear clothes that show off skin, like boxers, high or low-cut shirts, low-rise jeans, and “cute†little swim-suits. He’s a fan of tight-fitting shirts and pants that show off your form, he thinks they’re fine! Worldly guy watches a lot of TV and R-rated movies, isn’t really offended by sexual content or nudity and secretly dabbles in pornography. He’s a “Christian†and makes up a significant portion of your church and youth group. He’s a really nice guy and sees you mainly for your body. If you were to marry worldly guy, he’d bring lots of baggage into the relationship, have intimacy problems, entertain thoughts of other women, and possibly cheat on you.

A Godly man is in control of his drives and desires. He constantly seeks God and reads his Bible. He “walks in the Spirit†and isn’t set off by everything he sees. When immodestly-dressed girls, magazine covers, or risqué advertisements come into view, Godly guy quickly “bounces his eyes†away from the image. He’s constantly guarding his thoughts and what he allows into his mind. He hates being around girls that disrespect him and his struggles by wearing inappropriate attire. Godly guy doesn’t watch much TV and is selective about the movies he sees. He views you as a person, knows you and respects you. He has your best interests in mind and guards against inappropriate thoughts of you. If you were to marry Godly guy, he would give you the emotional attention you need, he would ignore other women and remain faithful to you no matter what.

Unfortunately, there are more worldly men than Godly men. And to make matters worse, to the untrained eye, a worldly man can look a lot like a Godly man. So what can you do to only attract a Godly man? An important way of delineating between them lies in how you dress. As mentioned before, the clothes you wear advertise what kind of guy you are looking for. If you dress immodestly, you will attract worldly guys and scare away the Godly ones. It all comes down to the kind of man you want to spend your time around and eventually marry. You cannot afford to be complacent in this area of your life! You will pay the price someday.

This issue isn’t limited strictly to you and your future relationship. The way you dress directly affects other men and women and their relationships. You don’t see the struggles, the pain, the tears and the sin that you cause, but I can promise that you would be shocked if you did! Ask any Christian young man; we’ve all seen it. It’s kept hidden but it is definitely there. By dressing immodestly, you effectually spit on the struggles of our weaker ranks, appearing to care more about toying with us than helping us. You’ll never know how many broken relationships and lifestyles of sin you’ve contributed to simply by the way you dress. You want to marry a Godly man someday, well so do many other women. Don’t just help yourself and your future, help all women and their relationships by showing discretion in your dress.

Of course, I understand the desire to look stylish, attractive, and “cute.†It’s important to fit in and get attention. Trust me, it can be done modestly! I also understand that it is easier for some girls to find stylish and well-fitting clothes than it is for others. This is an area where guys really don’t understand what you are up against. But just remember, for every sacrifice you make to honor God with your image, Godly men are making sacrifices in their lives that are just as hard, if not harder! They will and do respect you so much for choosing to be modest! A real lady is conscientious of the image she presents, and real men want a real lady. And you can forget about any guys missing out on how attractive you are because you don’t wear revealing clothing. You could wear a circus tent and we would still know; it’s a gift we have.

And so the question still remains: What kind of man do you want? Answer me with your clothes.

http://annawood .wordpress.com /2010/06/24/a-letter-to-girls-i-know-on-modesty/

[crassy]

And so the question still remains: What kind of man do you want?

One that doesn't give a flying fuck about any of this shit.

[doggie]

can we say asshole yes we can say asshole. sorry but godly men are just men with a thin vale of god vanity. If we look at the fundy example they really deep down only want a vagina with legs and arms to make them a sammich.

[DarkAnts]

can we say asshole yes we can say asshole. sorry but godly men are just men with a thin vale of god vanity. If we look at the fundy example they really deep down only want a vagina with legs and arms to make them a sammich.

This goes beyond the asshole and into the asshat region.

[doggie]

This goes beyond the asshole and into the asshat region.

very true. if he is a shining example of a godly guy then I am very glad I am a wordly guy.I feel sorry for any godly girl stuck with him.

[Deleted07]

A worldly man doesn’t control himself, rather, he looks at anything that attracts his attention or gets him excited.....

UM ACTUALLY I've found the opposite to be true, its the GODLY MEN that are infact obsessed with sex, looks and seems to think something as simple as cleavage and knee's are 'exciting' and yet immoral...

Give me a f*cking break!!!

[Stickers]

There are two kinds of men: Godly men, and worldly men. What kind of man do you want? I’m betting most of you said “a Godly man.â€

I want worldly man who will spend 10 percent of his income doing fun stuff with me!

I’m sure you already know this, but men were created differently than you. We have different desires and priorities. Our eyes and minds react very differently to some things than yours do.

No, that's not true. Trust me, I'm a girl. I know more girls then you do and I know them better :D

On Godly men

He views you as a person, knows you and respects you.

Does he? Because apparently this guy won't even look right at me if I'm dressed immodestly.

[Deleted07]

Isn't this a big cop-out for guys too? Its basically saying that men cannot control their instincts and carnal urges, and really its actually insulting.

As I've said before, its the godly men who I have found are the ones obsessed with sex and a woman's appearance... Where a Godly man see's a lady in a short skirt and automatically goes to carnal urges and lust... (and probably 'slut') a 'wordly' man probably won't even realise it, and certainly doesn't enter his mind to control his lustful and carnal urges, because there is none!!! .. So let me tell you... I would rather a WORLDLY man, because its the Godly man's views that are perverted here!!!

PS; Have put both of my comments onto the actual article, so will see if they pass moderation, and if I get any form of reasonable response. :evil:

[crassy]

Isn't this a big cop-out for guys too? Its basically saying that men cannot control their instincts and carnal urges, and really its actually insulting.

As I've said before, its the godly men who I have found are the ones obsessed with sex and a woman's appearance... Where a Godly man see's a lady in a short skirt and automatically goes to carnal urges and lust... (and probably 'slut') a 'wordly' man probably won't even realise it, and certainly doesn't enter his mind to control his lustful and carnal urges, because there is none!!! .. So let me tell you... I would rather a WORLDLY man, because its the Godly man's views that are perverted here!!!

PS; Have put both of my comments onto the actual article, so will see if they pass moderation, and if I get any form of reasonable response. :evil:

Yup, fundies have actually found a way to be both misogynist and misandrist at the same time!

[CanadianHippie]

It seems he is mixing up "godly man" and "worldly man"...

Godly man:

- Is defaulted by the least bit of skin

- Judges a woman's character based on how she is dressed

- Is incapable of controlling himself in the face of lust! (after all they are the ones who keep going on and on about how a woman dressed a certain way is going to get raped)

- Can't use basic common sense in any area of his life.

Worldly man (in my experience):

- Doesn't have to look away or ask women to cover up, he can look a woman in the eye no matter what she's wearing in most daily interactions.

- Understands that you can't judge a person by what they wear.

- Fully capable of not physically or verbally harassing a woman because she is dressed provocatively.

- Can think for himself...

I'll say I'm with those who would chose the worldly man.

[Deleted07]

so agree CH!!!

[Vex]

Uh, yeah... worldly men don't believe their cocks are appointed by God to be used 24/7, and they generally aren't insulted by the very idea of a woman taking the pill or having to abstain.

I've read this before, but this guy is such a smarmy bastard. No men are more sex-obsessed than fundies. Everything in their life revolves around finding a woman to stick his dick into, and then it revolves around doing it as frequently as humanly possible. It might be easier to believe he is sincere if fundies didn't think abstaining was a sin against God.

[margiebargie]

His letter just confirms my opinion tha "godly" men are creepy and icky.

[Jezebel]

It seems he is mixing up "godly man" and "worldly man"...

Godly man:

- Is defaulted by the least bit of skin

- Judges a woman's character based on how she is dressed

- Is incapable of controlling himself in the face of lust! (after all they are the ones who keep going on and on about how a woman dressed a certain way is going to get raped)

- Can't use basic common sense in any area of his life.

Worldly man (in my experience):

- Doesn't have to look away or ask women to cover up, he can look a woman in the eye no matter what she's wearing in most daily interactions.

- Understands that you can't judge a person by what they wear.

- Fully capable of not physically or verbally harassing a woman because she is dressed provocatively.

- Can think for himself...

I'll say I'm with those who would chose the worldly man.

If he's typical of "Godly men" who live in an isolated fundie "bubble," he has no idea what worldly men think about women, what catches their eye and turns them on, or how they choose to act (or not act) on it. Oh, sure, he could look at pop culture and see the idiotic manchildren currently on display as representing the secular masculine norm. But if all his friends are the same kinds of Christians as he is, and he doesn't have any decent, thoughtful, non-fundie male friends, then he really has no clue what he's talking about.

I'd lay good money on the fact that I know far more "worldly" men than this sanctimonious twerp does. And, having spent a lot of time around "worldly men"--as friends, lovers, co-workers, fellow students, colleagues, and relatives--I have a pretty good idea how most of them tend to think, and how they relate to women. And from my experience? They're far better men than the sex-obsessed, judgmental, woman-blaming, "Godly" men he's describing.

So yes--give me a worldly man any day!

[AnnieC 305]

I left a comment, which I will reproduce here since I doubt it will make it out of moderation:

It always amazes me how much “godly†men obsess about sex. They seem to believe that since they think about it every time they see an inch too much skin, and since they assume that a woman who isn’t dressed like their mothers must be something akin to a whore that all men think that way.

I hate to break it to you but that’s just not the case.

Most “worldly†men can associate with women in all manner of dress and not think about sex at all. It’s only the so-called “godly†men who have this issue. You people simply can’t stop thinking about it at all.

Give me a “worldly†man any day, they see me as a person, not just an object of lust and respect me no matter what I wear.

Honestly, I've been to sex clubs where I've felt safer and more respected than I felt sitting in Starbucks knitting when my friends "fundie" friends showed up. And for the record, I was wearing a denim "frumper" both times.

[Deleted07]

love it AnnieC!

[Avalondaughter]

A worldly man doesn’t control himself, rather, he looks at anything that attracts his attention or gets him excited.....

UM ACTUALLY I've found the opposite to be true, its the GODLY MEN that are infact obsessed with sex, looks and seems to think something as simple as cleavage and knee's are 'exciting' and yet immoral...

Give me a f*cking break!!!

This!

[FJismyheadship]

I have a fundie aquaintance. I'm sure I have defrauded him on multiple occasions. He has always been really nice to me, usually can look me square in the eye regardless of what I wear, and so on. I hugged him twice: The day he was ordained as a preacher (he didnt hug me back if I recall correctly) and the day he graduated college. That was the day I got a two armed hug out of him.

Right after that, he started spouting about how it LOOKS and so forth... couldnt even give me a ride to work one day because he was afraid of how it would look, AND he's trying to apply the same rule college had (he will only hang around girls if they are in groups of three, or if there is another male with him) I think I seriously defrauded him by hugging him haha. AND I have a picture with him where he actually has his arm around me. (Dont ask when the wedding is, cause I think he just hugged and ran, the jerk LOL)

Anyway, coming back on this, the only time he complimented me was when I wore an old fashioned dress. Remember the Gunny Sack dress I showed you guys? He said I looked nice, and the dress was appropriate. This was a dress that had long sleeves, came to the floor, and covered everything (although it FIT rather well)

[latraviata]

A worldly man doesn’t control himself, rather, he looks at anything that attracts his attention or gets him excited. A worldly guy has no problem when girls wear clothes that show off skin, like boxers, high or low-cut shirts, low-rise jeans, and “cute†little swim-suits. He’s a fan of tight-fitting shirts and pants that show off your form, he thinks they’re fine! Worldly guy watches a lot of TV and R-rated movies, isn’t really offended by sexual content or nudity and secretly dabbles in pornography. He’s a “Christian†and makes up a significant portion of your church and youth group. He’s a really nice guy and sees you mainly for your body. If you were to marry worldly guy, he’d bring lots of baggage into the relationship, have intimacy problems, entertain thoughts of other women, and possibly cheat on you.

Yes he describes the worldly men perfectly! I so recognise my sons and late husband in this description!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[notsocommon]

NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!! Guys, especialy younger ones, are horn dogs!

I'd rather a 'wordly' guy than a 'Godly' guy who gets all hot and bothered at every hint of a female form. I'd far rather a man who can think "Hey she is nice looking" over "What a whore!" There is nothing wrong with appreciating a good looking specimin of the opposite sex.

These 'Godly' guys think more about sex than anyone else, and if they simply thinking about sex (or noticing the female form) is 'adultery' then these guys must commit it a hundred times a day!

No thank you.

[holierthanyou]

One that doesn't give a flying fuck about any of this shit.

:lol: :clap: :dance:

[FlorenceHamilton]

One that doesn't give a flying fuck about any of this shit.

This.

[LucySnowe]

I mentioned this thread to my husband, who commented that this guy seems not so much temptable as contemptable.

I just love how he (the guy who wrote the article, not my husband) assumes that Worldly Guy will have problems with intimacy, and thus insinuates that Christian Guy will not. Hmmm. Worldly Guy may well have had previous girlfriends with whom he had mutually fulfilling relationships, and thus learned valuable lessons in ways to communicate and relate to women. Sure, he may have some baggage, but I think quite a lot of baggage comes from family relationships anyway. And as long as it fits neatly in the overhead compartment, I'm good with that.

[genericJname]

I like the part about how you should feel guilty for the way your attire can ruin other people's relationships.

[debrand]

This letter carries several points that fundie/evangelical Christian men use to control what women dress

Of course, the most common is that the woman is responsible for keeping her christian brother from sinning. Her attempts are doomed to failure because humans are sexual creatures. We evolved to notice signs that a person is fertile and able to provide for young.

The kind of guy you want or will get is advertised by the clothing you wear.

Scare tactics. Frightening others is not an uncommon tactic among fundie/conservative Christians. Because their thinking is black and white, they can say wit certainty that following certain actions will always lead to a positive outcome.

I’m sure you already know this, but men were created differently than you. We have different desires and priorities. Our eyes and minds react very differently to some things than yours do. It isn’t disgusting, perverted, or wrong; it is wonderful and good! It is how God made us. It’s how we handle these differences that separate a Godly man from a worldly man.

Fundie men use this tactic a lot!

I am a man, therefore, I know how every man on earth thinks

I am a woman and I can not say how every woman thinks. By using a little sommon sense, the reader should be able to tell that this is bunk. Sadly, tfundies and conservative women have been taught to take such statements at face value. They will never apply a little common sense.

Besides, noticing that someone is attractive is not wrong. Leering or gawking is impolite and rude. Consideration for the other person means that we keep our visual enjoyment discreet.

Making someone an object does not mean that you just find them attractive or have an occasional fantasy about them. It means that you view them as one dimensional being, without thoughts or feelings.

fundie men objectify women. If you think that all women are similar, have similar needs and desires, you are turning those women into objects. Further if you want women to dress in a way that prevents you from sinning, you have turned them into objects.