I found some old TW posts--how did she go from then to now?

[divadivine]

You put together a PPT to ask someone to go to a dance (like Prom) with you.

TW needs to learn the importance of not putting too many words on a PPT slide. Her Marriage PPT was a hot mess because she put too many words on the slides.

TH sounds like a total asshat. But TW is delusional enough to think it's love. Honey, it's called settling.

Also, what person actually thinks they are going to be able to retire when they are 40? Apparently, TH.... maybe they do belong together- they are both delusional.

[failsafe]

Also, what person actually thinks they are going to be able to retire when they are 40? Apparently, TH.... maybe they do belong together- they are both delusional.

Actually, TH's original plan (from what I understand of it) wasn't SO unreasonable in terms of money (though kind of unreasonable in terms of, you know, a LIFE PLAN). I believe he's at Bain, and if those figures are in line with other major consulting firms like McKinsey and BCG, you've got an (out of college) package that looks something like this:

Base: $70K

Sign-on bonus: $5K

Relocation bonus: $3K

Performance bonus: $7K

So you're looking at somewhere around $85K for Year 1. I believe Bain is 3 yrs before b-school, and let's figure in 5% annual raises to those numbers.

Year 1: 85K (which includes one-time sign-on and relo bonuses)

Year 2: 80K (with a base of $73K...ish)

Year 3: 84K (with a base of $77K...ish)

Let's say he contributes the max to his 401(k) pre-taxes, so that's $16,500 x 3 years

And most consulting firms match up to 7% of your annual salary so that's another $5K x 3 yrs

So by the time he starts school he will have $64,500 in retirement assets + interest (not bad for most 26ish year olds!)

But clearly SOME of his money will go to taxes. If he stayed in Texas for those three years, he lucks out as there is no state income tax. After the 401k deduction, he'll take home around $50K according to the Paycheck City calculator.

Then there's living expenses. Presumably, as his plan is to retire young, he will live frugally (since much of his time as a consultant will be spent living in hotels and expensing his meals, etc, this is easier). Let's say he lives on 25K/yr with the bulk of it going to rent. That leaves him another 25K to play around with and invest. Let's say conservatively that his investments grow at 5% a year. That means (before even starting business school), he has ~$76K in accessible savings/investments and $64,500 in his 401k.

Then he goes to school (and this is assuming his original plan of staying in consulting continued). He'll collect a paycheck while in school and not have any educational debt. He'll graduate and make somewhere around $180K in total comp, and it'll increase rapidly. The numbers just grow exponentially from there.

All the while, if he stays living frugally and investing wisely, could add up to a very tidy "retirement" package by age 40 - but most of the guys who could stay in consulting after b-school and til age 40 can't ever really "retire" retire - they're workaholics to the core. But enough to live on comfortably while he pursued other projects? Sure, absolutely.

[Jade]

Am I weird in thinking it's weird that she has to have every special moment of her life photographed professionally. In particular, I think her taking a photographer to their vacation in Mexico where she thought ThatAsshat was going to propose (I mean, he hadn't but she already books a photographer to follow them around all the time???) & T1's birth. Is that normal? When contractions start is a mom's first thought, "Oh, get the photographer here!"

I think it was very weird she had the proposal professionally photographed. She sure does like having her picture taken!

[CanadianHippie]

I think it was very weird she had the proposal professionally photographed. She sure does like having her picture taken!

Of course, that means people are paying attention to her.

[outrunningzombies]

I understand making actions contingent upon achieving specific goals. My husband and I agreed that I needed to finish college before we could talk about kids. The difference is that we agreed upon this together. As much as I dislike TW, it's still sad to me that she allows her body (and her life) to be controlled by her husband.

[slh12280]

That is way too fucked up... Thank god most girls just nurse their crushes when they know the guy in question just isn't interested.

That makes me feel sad for her :( She was desparate so she was willing to marry someone she knew didn't feel the same way about her.

I have to say I really thought the powerpoint thing was a joke. Maybe I should start using that method in order to get the guys interested :lol:

[Witsec7]

Actually, TH's original plan (from what I understand of it) wasn't SO unreasonable in terms of money (though kind of unreasonable in terms of, you know, a LIFE PLAN). I believe he's at Bain, and if those figures are in line with other major consulting firms like McKinsey and BCG, you've got an (out of college) package that looks something like this:

Base: $70K

Sign-on bonus: $5K

Relocation bonus: $3K

Performance bonus: $7K

So you're looking at somewhere around $85K for Year 1. I believe Bain is 3 yrs before b-school, and let's figure in 5% annual raises to those numbers.

Year 1: 85K (which includes one-time sign-on and relo bonuses)

Year 2: 80K (with a base of $73K...ish)

Year 3: 84K (with a base of $77K...ish)

Let's say he contributes the max to his 401(k) pre-taxes, so that's $16,500 x 3 years

And most consulting firms match up to 7% of your annual salary so that's another $5K x 3 yrs

So by the time he starts school he will have $64,500 in retirement assets + interest (not bad for most 26ish year olds!)

But clearly SOME of his money will go to taxes. If he stayed in Texas for those three years, he lucks out as there is no state income tax. After the 401k deduction, he'll take home around $50K according to the Paycheck City calculator.

Then there's living expenses. Presumably, as his plan is to retire young, he will live frugally (since much of his time as a consultant will be spent living in hotels and expensing his meals, etc, this is easier). Let's say he lives on 25K/yr with the bulk of it going to rent. That leaves him another 25K to play around with and invest. Let's say conservatively that his investments grow at 5% a year. That means (before even starting business school), he has ~$76K in accessible savings/investments and $64,500 in his 401k.

Then he goes to school (and this is assuming his original plan of staying in consulting continued). He'll collect a paycheck while in school and not have any educational debt. He'll graduate and make somewhere around $180K in total comp, and it'll increase rapidly. The numbers just grow exponentially from there.

All the while, if he stays living frugally and investing wisely, could add up to a very tidy "retirement" package by age 40 - but most of the guys who could stay in consulting after b-school and til age 40 can't ever really "retire" retire - they're workaholics to the core. But enough to live on comfortably while he pursued other projects? Sure, absolutely.

But he has left Bain.

Quote:

does your husband have to pay company x for putting him through school and taking a job with a different company upon graduation?

Yes we have to pay back everything. We're trying to figure out loans to get us through the rest of business school.

[failsafe]

Right. His original plan has changed in many ways (not the least of which was that he decided to get married and have kids and is clearly NOT living as frugally as he originally planned!). His original plan wouldn't work now for a bunch of reasons, including the wrench in the plan what with leaving Bain. There's two typical scenarios where someone reneges on a sponsorship offer (and it really isn't a very classy thing to do IMO - most schools prohibit you from attending recruiting events, etc, if you are being sponsored):

1) Person gets an INCREDIBLE offer. This offer needs to be enough to repay the b-school payments to the sponsor, and be good enough to match post-MBA consulting which is typically very high compensation.

2) Person's interests change, etc, etc, and they go completely the other direction. They join something like a startup because they find it intellectually stimulating and they find a way to make the money part work.

I'm guessing TH falls in the former, but he would still need to figure out how to organize loans for his last semester in that case.

[Wolfie]

I understand making actions contingent upon achieving specific goals. My husband and I agreed that I needed to finish college before we could talk about kids. The difference is that we agreed upon this together. As much as I dislike TW, it's still sad to me that she allows her body (and her life) to be controlled by her husband.

Which makes me wonder if these were mutual things and she just phrases it like her husband controls her. It's not like he's home enough to really do things, and I know a few women who messed with birth control to have kids. (I do think that the last is horrible, but women do it.)

[liltwinstar]

I think that her lack of ability to breastfeed really messed her up. Before that, things went according to her plan - she married the man she wanted to, she had the baby when she wanted to (she blogged that it took two months/cycles to get pg, so basically, she got pg as soon as she was off her bc), she was happy during the pregnancy, the birth went well (in her eyes) - and then boom! the breastfeeding thing doesn't work. She was really honest about how much that upset her - she wouldn't even research bottles and such because she was so upset (the husband did the bottle research). Sounds like it was a really painful process too - she couldn't produce, baby was super hungry and upset, and then he got jaundice because of it, then they started feeding him from the bottle and things calmed down. But I wonder if that initial couple of days where her body failed her (in her mind) somehow interrupted her bond with the kiddo? And I think that explains the bottle propping - sort of "well, I couldn't feed him the way I wanted to, so I'm not going to bother making the best of a less than ideal situation"

[valsa]

I don't think she's got PPD, I think she's just a selfish narcissist. Convincing TH to marry her? All about her and what she wants. Wedding? All about her and what she wants. Pregnancy? All about her and what she wants.

I think she honestly expected motherhood to be the same way. Everyone would pay attention to her because of what a wonderful mother she was. She apparently ignored that once the baby is born, everyone focuses on him and what he needs, and expects her to do the same.

[Witsec7]

I think that her lack of ability to breastfeed really messed her up. Before that, things went according to her plan - she married the man she wanted to, she had the baby when she wanted to (she blogged that it took two months/cycles to get pg, so basically, she got pg as soon as she was off her bc), she was happy during the pregnancy, the birth went well (in her eyes) - and then boom! the breastfeeding thing doesn't work. She was really honest about how much that upset her - she wouldn't even research bottles and such because she was so upset (the husband did the bottle research). Sounds like it was a really painful process too - she couldn't produce, baby was super hungry and upset, and then he got jaundice because of it, then they started feeding him from the bottle and things calmed down. But I wonder if that initial couple of days where her body failed her (in her mind) somehow interrupted her bond with the kiddo? And I think that explains the bottle propping - sort of "well, I couldn't feed him the way I wanted to, so I'm not going to bother making the best of a less than ideal situation"

Its my understanding that women who have had breast reductions can have difficultly breast feeding. The only experience I've had in this is with my step who successfully BF 1, and 2 but #3 was 2 yrs post op and she was unable to BF.

[Wolfie]

I find the breast feeding thing to be kind of hard to believe, maybe that contributed, but there had to be something else too. My sister couldn't breastfeed her child, she still is very bonded. And my sister was VERY disappointed. My mom couldn't breastfeed me, and she didn't ignore me. (she was able to breastfeed my siblings)

[outrunningzombies]

Which makes me wonder if these were mutual things and she just phrases it like her husband controls her. It's not like he's home enough to really do things, and I know a few women who messed with birth control to have kids. (I do think that the last is horrible, but women do it.)

I doubt that the decisions were mutual, just because she was whining about how much she didn't want to do school instead of just sucking it up and getting it over with. It reminded me of a child who whines about cleaning their room and is only doing it to get a reward at the end.

[Dinger]

Sorry but I just want to slap her :shock: it just screams MEMEMEMEMEME; she comes across as so full of herself :roll:

[Constance Vigilance]

I think that her lack of ability to breastfeed really messed her up. Before that, things went according to her plan - she married the man she wanted to, she had the baby when she wanted to (she blogged that it took two months/cycles to get pg, so basically, she got pg as soon as she was off her bc), she was happy during the pregnancy, the birth went well (in her eyes) - and then boom! the breastfeeding thing doesn't work. She was really honest about how much that upset her - she wouldn't even research bottles and such because she was so upset (the husband did the bottle research). Sounds like it was a really painful process too - she couldn't produce, baby was super hungry and upset, and then he got jaundice because of it, then they started feeding him from the bottle and things calmed down. But I wonder if that initial couple of days where her body failed her (in her mind) somehow interrupted her bond with the kiddo? And I think that explains the bottle propping - sort of "well, I couldn't feed him the way I wanted to, so I'm not going to bother making the best of a less than ideal situation"

I'm sorry, she couldn't feed him the way SHE wanted to, so instead of making sure her baby wasn't malnourished she kept trying to enforce what SHE wanted, to the point that the baby then got jaundice...? :shock: That's the most narcissistic thing I've ever heard.

I really hope I'm misunderstanding that, because Jesus that's bad.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I'm sorry, she couldn't feed him the way SHE wanted to, so instead of making sure her baby wasn't malnourished she kept trying to enforce what SHE wanted, to the point that the baby then got jaundice...? :shock: That's the most narcissistic thing I've ever heard.

I really hope I'm misunderstanding that, because Jesus that's bad.

That's how I'm reading it too, but nothing really surprises me anymore with this woman. Hell, she's not even a woman in my eyes, she's stuck in perpetual selfish, mean girl teenage-hood.

[liltwinstar]

That's how I'm reading it too, but nothing really surprises me anymore with this woman. Hell, she's not even a woman in my eyes, she's stuck in perpetual selfish, mean girl teenage-hood.

[Mommy22alyns]

I find the breast feeding thing to be kind of hard to believe, maybe that contributed, but there had to be something else too. My sister couldn't breastfeed her child, she still is very bonded. And my sister was VERY disappointed. My mom couldn't breastfeed me, and she didn't ignore me. (she was able to breastfeed my siblings)

[divadivine]

Its my understanding that women who have had breast reductions can have difficultly breast feeding. The only experience I've had in this is with my step who successfully BF 1, and 2 but #3 was 2 yrs post op and she was unable to BF.

[ilovetchotchkes]

When you have a breast reduction (and I've had one, so I can speak to this) any good doctor will discuss with a patient who is still in their child bearing years (even if they have told the doctor "We're done having children".... unless you tell them it's a permanent fix to not having children) the likelihood that you will not be able to breastfeed. Some women can breastfeed after the surgery. But considering TW was very well endowed and judging by the amount of tissue they probably had to remove, I don't know how she thought it would really work out for her. Any good doctor will tell you that you can try to breastfeed but you should have a back-up plan and be ready to supplement with either formula or milk from the breast milk bank.

I had to decide if it was worth not being able to breastfeed my future children after surgery or if I wanted to take a chance, have the surgery and see if I might be able to breastfeed if I had children. I decided to have the surgery because I was tired of my back hurting so much. I was also tired of people only seeing my boobs- it's so much fun having people always look at your HUGE BOOBS! Super awesome.

I was told I would most likely not be able to breastfeed a baby because I had a lot of tissue removed and after my surgery, when the tissue had been reviewed by pathology (standard procedure) they found out I had several blocked milk ducts in the tissue the doctor had removed. So, the likelihood I would have been able to breastfeed even without the surgery was not very good. It was worth it to have the surgery because my back doesn't hurt anymore and I doubt I'll have kids, so I won't have to worry about the whole breastfeeding issue.

Even if I had kids, I wouldn't try to breastfeed. I wouldn't want to ruin all the work the doctor did during my surgery. I can't believe this wasn't TW's reasoning, too, since it is all about her.

[booksnbeats]

Reading her Christmas post, her whole family just seems so...materialistic. (Yeah, I know it's Christmas, I don't want to begrudge anyone their Christmas presents, it was just the vibe I got.) It just seems like compared to the average person, what makes TW happiest in life are things and high-quality photos of those things.

[failsafe]

Reading her Christmas post, her whole family just seems so...materialistic. (Yeah, I know it's Christmas, I don't want to begrudge anyone their Christmas presents, it was just the vibe I got.) It just seems like compared to the average person, what makes TW happiest in life are things and high-quality photos of those things.

[lorem ipsum]

I usually lurk, but I registered just so I could reply to this thread. :P

I think TW is actually rather pretty, regardless of her weight struggles, and I kept looking at her pictures trying to figure out where I'd seen her before. At first I thought it was just that she resembles Elisabeth Moss (Peggy on Mad Men), but the mention of her wedding finally clued me in - she was a contributor on a super popular wedding blog (not sure if it's OK if I name it here, though I'm sure you all know her blogging history already) back when my husband and I were still engaged. I loved her wedding dress at the time...it kills me that it turns out she's a bit of a nut!

I know this doesn't really have anything to do with the discussion at hand...I was just so startled that I had to tell someone and don't know any fundie watchers IRL. :D

[failsafe]

loremipsum - since you followed her WeddingBee posts (and I assume, since she's mentioned several times that she posted there, that that's okay to post), did you think her vows to TH were kind of weird? I read some of her posts - mostly normal wedding stuff, but the vows REALLY threw me.