Love... fundie-style

[liltwinstar]

Re: the debate over love being a choice or a feeling thing - I know for me, there is always a deep, core love for my husband that I have all the time. However, when he pisses me off (which doesn't happen that much, but still) or does something that frustrates me, I do have a choice to *act* lovingly or *act* badly - it doesn't change the fact that I love him (that's a given), it's just about how I behave.

For example, my husband is a *huge* packrat and it drives me bonkers. Last night he brought a bunch of crap home from work - stuff like funny sayings he'd had up in his cube, little post it notes with funny sketches, etc - just the office crap that one collects. My thought was that it's all garbage; to him, it's something he wants to keep. I get frustrated by this since we don't have much space...and I can choose to be a jerk about it, throw a fit, whatever, or I can choose to act lovingly and work out a solution that pleases both of us. To me, that's where the "feeling/choice" thing comes in. If I didn't love my husband on a deep level, a "choice" would just be about my behavior. It wouldn't change my feelings.

I think that fundies think that all divorces are trivial. Seems to me that the decision to divorce is painful (sometimes excruciatingly so) and not a decision that is made lightly. Most people aren't calling the divorce lawyer becuase their spouse forgot to empty the dishwasher, you know?