Does The Dislike For Christian Evangelism Surprise You?

[browngrl]

I must admit - the older I get the less tolerant I am about proselytizing. When I was younger I would at least listen politely for a minute or two. Now I just shut my door/just say "NO" loudly and firmly. Maybe I was more willing to listen when I was younger because I was less sure of myself than I am now or maybe I have just become a nasty old lady. In any case - I find that the hubris exhibited by these evangelizers very irritating. I have no time for them - regardless of how they act or what they say.

[Kitty]

On one hand, yes, and on another, no. Not Christian, though.

I basically live in two places: Hometown and Collegetown. Hometown is rural, conservative, heavily Baptist. I've been evangelized and holy shit, is it annoying and awkward. I'm a very shy person in RL, so whenever someone does this I feel like I'm trapped in a corner and nothing I say or do will help me escape. So I''m forced to ask bullshit questions, or smile and nod politely until they get bored and fuck off. So in a way yes, the dislike for evangelism does surprise me, since I've been told to shut up and "give it a chance" countless times from people who should really fucking know better. It's commonplace here, everyone has done it at some point. I've never been subjected to false friendships; I'm someone who reveals everything up front, take it or leave it. I've made very close friends that way, because, well, they're willing to take it. I have, however, had friends drift away if I get too "vocal" about being an atheist. I've been handed fake money tracts; I threw them away the first opportunity I had. Oh well, fuck them. I know it's annoying to others as well, but it's so common here that it's like a breath of fresh air when I see someone rant about proselytizers.

In Collegetown, however, there's lots of churches but I've never been preached to. Well, those two people did hand me Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ" (which frustrates me to NO FUCKING END) at the Ask an Atheist table. But it wasn't aggressive. they didn't go on about saving my soul. They were very kind. The most aggressive evangelists are Cru, and, well, they're not very aggressive. Deceptive, oh hell yeah. But I've never felt like I was trapped in a corner. I'd just see the chalk on the walk and move on. Meh. No big deal. Just another ad.

I don't know if it's different between denominations, or between rural and urban areas. But yes, being preached to and bombarded with tracts and questions is annoying. And Darwin help the poor soul who is stupid enough to hand me something fake that turns out to be a tract. >.<

[pixydust]

Doesn't surprise me at all, who likes to be told they are wrong? As a Quaker (raised Presbyterian) I, and many other Quakers, believe there are many paths, Christian and non-Christian, to the Devine. Therefore, no need to proselytize or win converts.

Is that something taught in Quakerism (?) or something that is a common Quaker belief? Whatever it is, I like it!! :clap:

[AnnieC 305]

And Mojoey just did this today.

http://mojoey.blogspot.com/2011/12/note ... e-war.html

[doubtingkimmy]

I'm a cradle Catholic, and as a rule we don't really "do" evangelism, so the whole practice is somewhat foreign to me. In a more general sense, it doesn't surprise me that folks do not like to receive conversion pitches from a different religion. I mean the underlying assumption is really one of "if you're not doing it our way, you're wrong (or not saved, or damned, etc.)," and who really wants to be told that they're wrong (or not saved, or damned) by a total stranger?

What did/does really surprise me, on the other hand, is that a certain subset of fellow Christians does not view Catholics as "saved" or even as "Christians." The city/town that I grew up in and still currently reside in is overwhelmingly Catholic, so I didn't receive a whole lot of information on contrasting religious viewpoints in my formative years. Imagine my surprise when, as a young adult out in the larger world I encountered not only dismissive and condescending attitudes from some new acquaintances upon learning of my religious affiliation, but even occasionally downright animosity and hostility towards it. I still don't totally understand this, as the parishes that I've been a member of don't really spend a whole lot of time (well, any, really) worrying about what other religions do "wrong" and trying to "save" their members from "eternal damnation." No, in my Catholic experience, it's more about instilling guilt for the many ways in which you, yourself, fail to be a good Catholic and could be doing better. Nothing like that good ol' Catholic guilt~ ;)

[Bella99]

Luckily, I'm not subjected to "soul-winning" very often, but when it happens I find it very aggravating. A few weeks ago while I was studying for my finals the Jehovah's Witness group came to my door. So I have greasy hair, am in pajamas, trying to remember cranial nerves, holding back my standard poodle - I said "not a good time" and slammed the door in their faces. And I noticed there was a sweet looking, maybe 10 year old girl with them - why do they drag their children around subjecting them to what must feel like endless rejection?

As an atheist, I try to live my life in a way that will cause those who knew me to remember me fondly, other than that, I want to be left alone. Believe in who or how seems best to you, but let me stay out of it.

[Discobiscuit]

I agree with others that evangelizing is incredibly rude. I grew up Catholic and became Episcopalian, so I haven't been part of a faith that emphasizes converting people by badgering them.

Probably the most effective form of evangelizing I saw was when I was still married to my ex and we were returning from visiting his relatives in Arkansas for the winter holidays. We stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom and there were about a half-dozen older men and women handing out cups of hot chocolate on a cold, blustery day. They were very sweet and when I asked, "how much?" they said it was free. They did it as part of a church ministry and the most blatant part of their evanglizing was a stack of pamphlets from their Baptist church. They didn't require anyone to take them. That seemed a lot more effective in creating goodwill towards Christianity than harassing people with questions about whether they really know Jesus or not.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I can't see how evangelizing can be not rude. It's essentially telling someone they're wrong, and what they believe is wrong, and that if only they listened to you they would know the One True Truth. If the people doing the evagelizing thought about someone doing the same to them, i'm sure they wouldn't appreciate it. So i can't understand why people do it. We live in an age where it's super easy to get a bunch of information on any religion and visit any place of worship to know more, so i find evangelizing to be kind of pointless. I would think a conversion would be sincere if a person comes to it by themselves without any pressure. I don't understand "spreading the gospel" either especially in North America, since Christianity is so dominant that everyone knows the basics, and could easily find out more.

For people who were surprised by the dislike, what surprised you about it, even if it comes from thinking in your former fundie life? I don't get it at all and I really would like to understand.

The other day this guy sat next to me on the bus and asked if i'd found Jesus. I said I didn't know he was missing and maybe the guy could check the lost and found at the subway. I'm gonna come up with a few other fun comebacks for such situations because I usually end up being too polite and listening for 5 minutes which is a waste of time.

[jaynie]

We get a lot of door to door evangelists who are really new to the country and unfortunately have no chance in winning an argument if they get into one. I learned recently that immigrants are often easy targets for certain denominations because they don't speak the language and don't know anybody. That makes it really hard for them to leave, or even say "no" when the church asks them to do something. A lot of them seem really apologetic and not very enthusiastic about the whole thing, so I tend to give them a pass (though I will make it clear that I disagree).

The smug assholes who want to tell me my family must be broken and miserable because we've got a Darwin fish on our car, though? No sympathy. I don't know how they expect it to work, either, when they're greeted by a happy, clean-cut family listening to classical music over a nice afternoon tea (this actually happened. The woman was going on and on about how there was nothing to keep atheists from being drug addicts and rapists, etc. It would have been more offensive it wasn't so painfully obvious that she was wrong).

[genericJname]

Now that I am outside of evangelical christianity I can see how ridiculous it is. Most people in the u.s. already have heard the "good news." I was never much of an evangelizer just because I'm shy and noncomfrontational and I always felt so guilty afor not telling anyone about jesus.

[valsa]

For people who were surprised by the dislike, what surprised you about it, even if it comes from thinking in your former fundie life? I don't get it at all and I really would like to understand.

I feel the same way. To me, it's no different than if they said "I surprises me that people dislike assholes. I used to be an asshole, so I understand where they're coming from."

I can't help but think- who cares what someone's motivation is for acting like an asshole? They're still acting like an asshole. Of course people are going to dislike them.

[Guest Anonymous]

I feel the same way. To me, it's no different than if they said "I surprises me that people dislike assholes. I used to be an asshole, so I understand where they're coming from."

I can't help but think- who cares what someone's motivation is for acting like an asshole? They're still acting like an asshole. Of course people are going to dislike them.

:lol: It only works in the past tense: I was surprised, just after I had left the church behind.

[valsa]

Yes, I understand that. It just surprises me that someone who had already left the church would be surprised than people don't like to be preached at.

[Guest Anonymous]

Yes, I understand that. It just surprises me that someone who had already left the church would be surprised than people don't like to be preached at.

It was because I didn't have a revelation and leave one day... I drifted away slowly... and processed the situation and changed my views over time. I also moved away from University and home during the same time and so I didn't catch up with old friends straight away and talk about the changes directly.

Also, my experience took place in the UK, where we are generally more reserved and lower-key than in the US, so while the core message was just as offensive, the method of delivery was not so 'in-your-face' that people couldn't avoid it.

ETA: The "surprise" wasn't at others in an "Oh gosh, I can't believe they are offended by that" manner, but more like cringe-filled surprise at myself, in an "Oh fucking hell, I really came across like that" way....

[ZTwist]

Is that something taught in Quakerism (?) or something that is a common Quaker belief? Whatever it is, I like it!! :clap:

Thanks, Pixydust!

Most Quakers I know feel that we're each on our own spiritual journey (all people, not just Quakers). How can anyone know that their way is the right one? I think that's why we don't try to convert, because no one really knows, and we're all searching.

I think that's why fundies bother me so much, that smug, "We're right and you're wrong" attitude. Ugh.

[fundiefun]

I will never forget being proselytized during spring break down in Panama City beach, Florida 2007 along with a million other college kids. I was laying in the sand completely drunk and catching some sun rays when these girls who were about my age came up to me and asked me if I knew Jesus was my savior. Me being drunk I engaged with them and explained I was already saved and I appreciated their time. They then moved onto the next batch of drunk kids. If I had wanted to hear about the holy gospel I would have stayed home and not wanted to get my party on for a week It turns out its run by lifeway and is beach reach.

http://www.lifeway.com/BeachReach/c/N-1 ... ype=events

[margiebargie]

I feel the same way. To me, it's no different than if they said "I surprises me that people dislike assholes. I used to be an asshole, so I understand where they're coming from."

I can't help but think- who cares what someone's motivation is for acting like an asshole? They're still acting like an asshole. Of course people are going to dislike them.

Yeah. This is how I feel about it. On some level, god botherers must know how arrogant, obnoxious and rude they are. It's glaringly obvious. I think they are in the habit of justifying bad behavior so they are able to delude themselves into thinking that they are actually being helpful.

[jenny_islander]

The thing that jumps out at me about obnoxious modern evangelism is that the people doing it generally claim to be following a Biblical mandate. How did people evangelize in "Bible times?" If I remember my NT, in one of two ways: They went to private homes to which they had been invited, or they went to public spaces set aside for public speaking. Bugging people who are just trying to get to the grocery store is not on this list. Neither is pretending to make friends with somebody purely in order to get them to come to your church. And that's not the worst! I read a first-hand account just yesterday by a woman who had been deadfished with the doyouknowjesuschristasyourlordandsavior question by her pregnancy advisor, during an internal exam. Notice to lurking fundamentalists: Acting like this does not make you holy and people who call you on your boorish behavior are not persecuting you. Did they invite you to talk to them about God? Did you start a conversation in a public space set aside for debate and inquiry, where people show up expecting to get into conversations like this? No? Then zip it.

Deciding that other Christians aren't part of the Body of Christ is also examined thoroughly in the NT. In short: Quit it.

[Guest Anonymous]

The thing that jumps out at me about obnoxious modern evangelism is that the people doing it generally claim to be following a Biblical mandate. How did people evangelize in "Bible times?" If I remember my NT, in one of two ways: They went to private homes to which they had been invited, or they went to public spaces set aside for public speaking.

As a former 'evangelical', I never went after people randomly in shops or door-to-door or whatever, but there was lots of scope for being an arsehole in private homes to which I had been invited... as a young student at the time, there were boundless opportunities on my own doorstep and, tbh, it's precisely that kind of arseholery that makes me cringe the most :oops:

I read a first-hand account just yesterday by a woman who had been deadfished with the doyouknowjesuschristasyourlordandsavior question by her pregnancy advisor, during an internal exam.

Did she get sacked for doing that? We had a big uproar in the UK a couple of years ago, over a nurse who repeatedly broke NHS rules by offering to pray with her clients, and in the end got suspended and took her 'persecution' to the press. She ended up with a final warning and sniffled to the trash newspapers that she was victimised for being a Christian in a Christian country, etc, etc. :naughty:

[jenny_islander]

As a former 'evangelical', I never went after people randomly in shops or door-to-door or whatever, but there was lots of scope for being an arsehole in private homes to which I had been invited... as a young student at the time, there were boundless opportunities on my own doorstep and, tbh, it's precisely that kind of arseholery that makes me cringe the most :oops:

This is the perceived loophole that makes evangelists as annoying as those people who spray perfume at passersby in shopping malls. Paul, for example, wasn't invited into someone's house as a dinner guest who then proceeded to Jesus juke every conversation. Paul was invited into people's homes because they explicitly said they wanted him to preach the Gospel.

Did she get sacked for doing that? We had a big uproar in the UK a couple of years ago, over a nurse who repeatedly broke NHS rules by offering to pray with her clients, and in the end got suspended and took her 'persecution' to the press. She ended up with a final warning and sniffled to the trash newspapers that she was victimised for being a Christian in a Christian country, etc, etc. :naughty:

The evangelee complained to the wannabe evangelist's supervisor and never saw the wannabe evangelist again, that's all I know. Wow, nurses can be fired for offering to pray with clients? It's okay over here as long as they don't push the issue. Ask once, and if the answer is no, drop the subject. The rationale is that some people find prayer comforting. If we had a true national health service, there would be an issue of separation of church and state.

[lilwriter85]

I will never forget being proselytized during spring break down in Panama City beach, Florida 2007 along with a million other college kids. I was laying in the sand completely drunk and catching some sun rays when these girls who were about my age came up to me and asked me if I knew Jesus was my savior. Me being drunk I engaged with them and explained I was already saved and I appreciated their time. They then moved onto the next batch of drunk kids. If I had wanted to hear about the holy gospel I would have stayed home and not wanted to get my party on for a week It turns out its run by lifeway and is beach reach.

http://www.lifeway.com/BeachReach/c/N-1 ... ype=events

I had friends who had a similar experience in South Padre Island, Texas during spring break in 2005 or 2006. Years ago, I worked with a woman who told me about her and her husband's Mardi Gras experience in the late 80's and she said that Mormon missionaries walked all over the French Quarter trying to hand tracts to people.

[EmmieJ]

I must admit - the older I get the less tolerant I am about proselytizing. When I was younger I would at least listen politely for a minute or two. Now I just shut my door/just say "NO" loudly and firmly. Maybe I was more willing to listen when I was younger because I was less sure of myself than I am now or maybe I have just become a nasty old lady. In any case - I find that the hubris exhibited by these evangelizers very irritating. I have no time for them - regardless of how they act or what they say.

*snort!* The older I get, the more I enjoy being a crabby old beyotch when the situation calls for such a response. Two Mormons stopped by the other day. I opened the door, realized what they were about, and said "not interested" and shut the door on them. I figure that's polite enough for people who arrived uninvited on my doorstep. I view them as I would door-to-door salesmen.

I live in fairly liberal area. I haven't been accosted by any evangelists on the street or in the mall, etc. If I were approached, I'd probably explain that while I think Jesus was a pretty cool dude, I don't care much for many of his followers and prefer not to spend eternity with them. Hopefully, that would shut them up and send them on their way.

[lilwriter85]

*snort!* The older I get, the more I enjoy being a crabby old beyotch when the situation calls for such a response. Two Mormons stopped by the other day. I opened the door, realized what they were about, and said "not interested" and shut the door on them. I figure that's polite enough for people who arrived uninvited on my doorstep. I view them as I would door-to-door salesmen.

I live in fairly liberal area. I haven't been accosted by any evangelists on the street or in the mall, etc. If I were approached, I'd probably explain that while I think Jesus was a pretty cool dude, I don't care much for many of his followers and prefer not to spend eternity with them. Hopefully, that would shut them up and send them on their way.

A lot of people I know use the "not interested" thing with Mormons, JW's and evangelists. I know some people who will not answer the door if they can tell if the knockers are JW's, Mormons etc. A friend of mine lives in Arizona and he and his brother don't answer the door if they see Mormons through the windows.

[JesusFightClub]

There is a distinct overlap between politics and religion,and I was interested in anniec's and margiebargie's points. It is honestly the case that when you think you've got hold of a Great Truth, you become obnoxious. I have been there and done that.

But at the same time the obnoxious "Listen to this!" evangelistic types, who tend to be young and naive, are far less annoying to me than the older person who fakes being your pal, gets you in the group, then drops you for the next convert. The first is youthful zeal, if misplaced. The second is manipulation.

[margiebargie]

*snort!* The older I get, the more I enjoy being a crabby old beyotch when the situation calls for such a response. Two Mormons stopped by the other day. I opened the door, realized what they were about, and said "not interested" and shut the door on them. I figure that's polite enough for people who arrived uninvited on my doorstep. I view them as I would door-to-door salesmen.

I live in fairly liberal area. I haven't been accosted by any evangelists on the street or in the mall, etc. If I were approached, I'd probably explain that while I think Jesus was a pretty cool dude, I don't care much for many of his followers and prefer not to spend eternity with them. Hopefully, that would shut them up and send them on their way.

They are door-to-door salesmen...out to explain why you must buy their product...OR ELSE. Actually, the more I think about it the more it seems like a protection racket.