Caskets for miscarried fetuses/babies

[MrsKay]

Crap, the person charging a mint for caskets can't even spell "brocade" properly.

[pugglemama]

Out of curiosity, since I've wondered this during several losses - how do you arrange to have the "remains" cremated after a miscarriage, esp. when it's hard to make out what's what? I do have the remains of one in a tiny "casket" - it's inside of a sort of block of clear resin, but I painted over that, since I had no urge to take out my miscarried fetus and play with it. I just couldn't bear to chuck it into the toilet and flush.

The casket is a $15.00 decorative wooden box that I had once given to my deceased mother, and the resin block is wrapped up in a baby hat that I'd crocheted. I would much rather use a dollar store box than pay out the ass for one of those on the website. Am I the only one who thinks the "vaults" look like boxes for takeout?

When I was pregnant with BabyKay #3, I miscarried a twin while in the ER, but a nurse threw it out when I was out of the room. I was a bit upset, but I wasn't about to get hysterical over it. However, if I do end up having yet another loss down the road, I'd kinda like to know the options.

I met the woman who had her miscarried baby cremated at a support group. She had a D&C, so I think she talked to her doctor ahead of time and worked it out with him and the funeral home. If you find yourself in the position again, I would suggest contacting Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss support, they have lots of resources and can point you in the right direction.

[SheWoreLemon]

Thanks for posting those links with the patterns for gowns and hats for preemies, Burris. I'm learning to crochet, so I'm going to make some of those for the hospital in our town if they need any and perhaps make up a couple of the wicker caskets as well. Like you said, no one plans for a preemie birth and the last thing people need is to get ripped off.

[llv]

I feel very strongly that I should be cremated and that the energy contained in my body should go back into the energy stream. Therefore, I think burying is out of the question.

Burying puts your energy back into "the energy stream" too. Conservation of energy - energy cannot be created or destroyed. When you are buried in a decomposable casket/coffin, everything breaks down and returns to the soil, the soil becomes fertile, things grow better, etc...

Maybe this is gross, but if I had a miscarriage, i would probably put it in a biodegradable box, bury it in my backyard, and plant a tree over it. I might do it with a stillborn too, but cremate first.

[Iamthatbean]

Out of curiosity, since I've wondered this during several losses - how do you arrange to have the "remains" cremated after a miscarriage, esp. when it's hard to make out what's what? I do have the remains of one in a tiny "casket" - it's inside of a sort of block of clear resin, but I painted over that, since I had no urge to take out my miscarried fetus and play with it. I just couldn't bear to chuck it into the toilet and flush.

The casket is a $15.00 decorative wooden box that I had once given to my deceased mother, and the resin block is wrapped up in a baby hat that I'd crocheted. I would much rather use a dollar store box than pay out the ass for one of those on the website. Am I the only one who thinks the "vaults" look like boxes for takeout?

When I was pregnant with BabyKay #3, I miscarried a twin while in the ER, but a nurse threw it out when I was out of the room. I was a bit upset, but I wasn't about to get hysterical over it. However, if I do end up having yet another loss down the road, I'd kinda like to know the options.

The only time I have heard of the remains being cremated it was after a D&C or a late second trimester loss. In my case, the nurse made the arrangements for me. Some states have laws that require them to offer the remains, some do not. Some hospitals have a burial service for babies born before 20 weeks. In the case of an at home miscarriage, I would guess you could contact a funeral home. A local compassionate friends or other babyloss support group should help.

[MrsKay]

Thanks for the info.

[CatJed2420]

I went through a miscarriage at would of been 9 weeks although I think it died a week or two before. I understand people grieve differently and I don't judge. But after seeing and hearing it's heart beating at 6 weeks there was no way I could just flush it down the toilet. Maybe it would have been different if it was all just broken down tissue as some of you stated, but mine wasn't. Mine came out in a clear sac that looked filled with water with the embryo still fully intact inside. I put it in a tiny wooden box and placed it at the bottom of a potted plant. But that's just me and my experience.