Craziest statement/judgement/scolding you heard from a Fundy

[MarsGirl]

I'm a widow... my husband died when I was 26 (and he 32). I've heard a lot of dumb-assed things from (I guess well-meaning) people during the funeral/wake/etc. The one that always burned me was when someone said, "He was in your life for a reason and he fullfilled it... So he had to leave."

WHAT?!

What makes my life more important that he's the sacrificial lamb for my learning experience?! What a cruel, cruel god these folks believe in... He gives you bliss for 20 months of your life (we were only married 20 months before my husband died), and then he taketh away. To teach me... what?! exactly?! How brutal life is?

I had other suggest that because I didnt get married in a church, this is the result.... Idiots.

[Angri-la]

My favorite was the wild eyed street preacher I ran into in the subway when I was about 15. I had lipstick on and, after making eye contact with me, he began a crazed sermon about me, The Painted Faced Jezebel. At the time, I was under fundamental rule, and makeup was verboten. I thought my parents or God sent him to bust me for my rebellion. I still remember it was a tube of Wet N Wild Cherry Tart. I wiped it off on the train in shame. *sigh*

[BoomerLynn]

I was raped because I was wearing a tank top.

I would dearly love to beat the shit out of this person on your behalf. Hugs to you and I am so sorry that you had to go through that and deal with ignorant assholes on top of it.

[QueenNocturne]

Okay, my examples may not be as extreme as all of yours, but here we go:

My dad's older sister and her preacher husband are what I would consider closet fundy--they appear very mainstream, but their beliefs are actually quite terrifying. They're also, despite being all holier-than-thou and thinking they're God's chosen people, the greediest, most selfish and manipulative pair of snakes you'd ever meet, but that's a whole 'nother topic.

Anyway, they have a massive problem with divorce for some reason, which they seem to bring out in the nastiest of ways, such as at my parents' own wedding. While my mom was a first-time bride, my dad had been married briefly when he was 19 to a girlfriend he had gotten pregnant, as in their community that was what you did. Apparently, in the receiving line, said older sister made some biting remarks to my dad about seeing if this marriage would last.

However, my dad was lucky--maybe as a result of having the Almighty Penis, he was spared some of their worst vitrol. When my dad's next youngest sister divorced her husband, this wonderful couple went over to her new apartment and spewed so much venom that my tough-as-nails aunt had an emotional break-down. Probably the worst of it, though, happened when the older daughter of Aunt and Uncle Psycho divorced her first husband--not only was she disowned, but her wonderful parents did everything in their power to prevent her from reaching out to the rest of the family...and were pretty damn successful at it.

That's probably the worst of it, though growing up in an area with some pretty fundie-lite churches, I heard more than my share of crazy. I got a lot of crap as a kid about the fact that my mom worked outside of the house and that she was *gasp* a Catholic. This also got brought up a lot concerning my problems with cutting and depression, which I always thought was stupid: apparently, having a family history of mental illness and growing up with a father with substance abuse had nothing to do with my depression--it was all because my mom did her job as a parent and supported us during this time AND because she was a member of a comparatively less crazy church.

Oh, and there are plenty of people I knew or know who were quite judgmental about sexual "sins" like premarital sex and having kids out of wedlock...many of whom HAVE kids out of wedlock, have sex while not being married, or had kids a suspiciously short time after their wedding. :lol:

[freejoytoo]

I went to a fundy wedding a couple of months ago and was told that atheism basically justifies murder because God equals Love...what a load of crap.

[Hane]

My second husband and I had each been married and divorced previously. I had a Catholic church annulment, but his was still pending, so, on the advice of my priest, we got married in a civil ceremony. His wacky mother told us she went to her own priest to see if he would give her "permission" to attend our wedding (which was held in a UU church and conducted by a female justice of the peace). The priest most likely thought, "WTF, lady--whatevs.". (We had a Catholic ceremony in the rectory a few months later.)

[BoomerLynn]

Actually, come to think of it, the worst thing I was ever told was that my daughter (who died at birth) was in hell because babies are born sinful and that is why they cry. I was also told to take my son off his meds and trust God to heal him because medicating a violent, autistic child with PTSD and other severe issues was like "putting a bandaid on cancer". And I was given 3 books, told they would teach me how to really parent. The Pearls and Dr. Dobson...blech

:shock: OMG WTF is wrong with people?

[rachelsmith1989]

Fundies really do say the most awful things!

Um, I went to a local version of Jesus Camp in 2004 (age 12) and they wouldn't let us eat until we had memorized our quota of Bible verses, and were told that food was our "reward" for learning them. I mean, any food at all.

Wow!

I went to annual summer Jesus Camps quite often and one year our church trucked in some ministering group from Missouri (who consisted of mostly late teen/ twenty-something singles). One time during the camp I told one of the counselors that I was going to challenge myself and not get any candy from the canteen that afternoon. Well, I succumbed to chocolate cravings and bought peanut butter m &m's from a vending machine. When our group met that afternoon, the counselor asked what I had in my pocket and she screamed and shouted at me that I would do something like that...job well done :clap:

The same group also taught us that giving a person the silent treatment was an act of rebellion... :roll:

[rachelsmith1989]

In February, I traveled two hours to meet a date at a huge mall. I was standing and waiting for the guy to arrive when a creeper came up and asked me questions. I know now I should've called security, but instead I was whisked away by a group of church people. In particular the woman who pulled me away sensed an "evil presence" going on (to which that part was right).

Then she had me join the church group near the bookstore I was waiting in fron of, and they proceeded to find out why I was whoring myself off to guys (apparently they thought I was a hooker, while I was wearing a black coat and standing in a public place) and they told me over and over that god "loves" me and "wants the best for my life". I started to get angry but cry at the same time since I couldn't believe what was happening. I told THEM over and over that I was a college student and I was expecting a date shortly, which they didn't believe. They prayed for me but I ultimately told them that I grew up fundie and didn't need any more prayer....

...serves me right for talking to strangers... :hand:

[Cran]

Does virtual count, too? I just remembered something that is actually somewhat funny.

I frequent a Christian chatroom, and my avatar is a picture of my eye with my yellow contacts in.

A user asked another user to ask me if I was Christian, because she wanted to know and couldn't read my profile because she knew for sure that such eyes are demonic and she would not klick on it for ll riches of the world a second time.

[Kaylee]

I spent most of my life in fundie IFB or less fundie but more crazy Pentecostal Holiness Churches, so it's hard to pick just one.

The craziest thing was probably a fundie blogger telling me I should obey my husband when he was trying to get me to sleep with other men and have group sex. This same women has criticized the Amish for being immodest because their dresses show their calves and are fitted to the waist. I still haven't figured out how participating in adultery was OK, because the hubby wanted it, but letting these same men see my calves would have been a sin.

Craziest real life was at the first girl's home I was in. The pastor's wife there was nuts, and she started screaming at me and claiming I was there to seduce her husband because I'd shown up "naked." (I was wearing shorts and a tank top - it was like 100 degrees, and my parents had told me we were going to Disney World). She also told all the other girls to avoid me and that I was sent there by the devil, and I spent the first 2 months banned from talking to anyone except staff and my "watcher" (another girl I had to be with 24/7).

[Freed]

Not nearly as bad as some of the stories here (((Alecto))), but still a crazy one.

When I was 15, I came down with a very serious illness (Kawasaki's Disease, for anyone familiar), and was hospitalized after becoming too weak to stand and so dehydrated I had to be immediately given an IV. My mother's very fundie Bible Study leader came to read scriptures to me and pray overme, despite the fact that I had been very clear that he was not welcome (after visiting me at home and shouting the prayers over my sobs of pain). He told me that I was being punished for holding a grudge.

I still can't stand to be around him.

[ems]

Five years ago a pastor told me that he "knew my kind", and that within just a few minutes of meeting me he knew what my problem was. He then proceeded to "invite" me to repent of said sin. The sin? In his words, my biggest problem was that I "had arrogantly become educated beyond my level of obedience". "Educated beyond your obedience"?!? WTF does that even mean? It's a sin to learn to think? I still don't really get it.

Anyway, it made me want to ask other FJers now- what's the craziest/most brazen statement a Fundy has made to you?

Edited to add: What exactly is the cut off for education before it interferes with your obedience? College? Third Grade?

"This depression is not of God." ---Yeah, that one was from my fundie-lite college campus ministry pastor's wife, when I was "struggling" with the whole fundie-lite/evangelical thing and thus more depressive than usual. Nice, huh. Basically I've struggled with depression on and off since high school. At one point the same woman had said to me that one of the biggest misconceptions about Christianity is that we should be happy all the time, so I don't know what happened, or how God told her that MY depression was ungodly.

She also stated that basically she was "worried about my eternal destination."

[kb2]

OK, my contribution was pretty flippant, but I have to say I'm really sorry to everyone who had really bad things said to them. People suck.

[meda]

2 stories, same fundie. I had a small, close group of friends from high school. One friend who is fundie/fundie light had been dating the other friend's brother for years. He finally caves and proposes to fundie friend. During the engagement party, some people were taking pictures of the two families together. Fundie friend's father pulled my other friend out of the family grouping and told her that she couldn't be in her brother's engagement photos because she was pregnant and not yet married to the father.

Fast forward to the wedding: I was not asked to be a bridesmaid or have any official role in the wedding because I was divorced, although the bride's mother had no qualms about calling me and demanding that I help my friend with wedding preparations. During the wedding ceremony, Fundie dad went up to the alter and delivered an obnoxious sermon about marriage and how there was no reason ever in the whole world that was a good enough reason to divorce. This despite the fact that the groom's parents were divorced and sitting in the church with their new spouses.

[Deleted06]

We had a guest speaker at the young women's circle on the fundie-farm once who told us about how she and her boyfriend were sinful and had sex before they were married. She was then infertile for 5 years before having a child with very severe mental retardation/developmental delay issues. She told us that things like this happened because of God's judgment on sexual sins in our lives. She then told us similar stories that happened to others she knew. To the church's credit, the pastor publicly apologized to the congregation for having this speaker but hearing these stories really messed with my mind for a while.

And then there was the Sunday school teacher who told us that if we played D&D, we'd get schizophrenia. :o

I'll be sure to clue my psychiatrist in on this one at my next appointment. They may have forgotten to mention this valuable info when he went to medical school!

[rachelsmith1989]

Oh, God, Bob Larson. I forgot about him!! I used to listen to him too! Entertainment. I do tune into Focus On The Family when I'm bored on long road trips... It's good for a giggle... when you're not thinking about how there are actually people who believe that stuff...

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only person who occasionally tunes into christian radio for a laugh. My favorite station has been AFR, started under the American Family Association...

...but lately the craziness has dried up except with a minute program that claimed that by the "divine laws of stewardship" that god owned the earth and humans were responsible for it. I think in light of that, all of us are going to hell, especially the people *cough* christians *cough* *cough* who plan on turning earth into a carbon copy of Venus...

[MarsGirl]

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only person who occasionally tunes into christian radio for a laugh. My favorite station has been AFR, started under the American Family Association...

...but lately the craziness has dried up except with a minute program that claimed that by the "divine laws of stewardship" that god owned the earth and humans were responsible for it. I think in light of that, all of us are going to hell, especially the people *cough* christians *cough* *cough* who plan on turning earth into a carbon copy of Venus...

Yeah, any time I'm traveling and I'm tired of listening to my iPod, I'll switch to radio and do a scan and look for some fundie radio station. I always find one. Good for a little bit of crazy. It's like they live in a totally different dimension than the one I live in and it really trips me out. Like a wake up call.

Nice reference to Venus. Totally got it. Space girl that I am.

[rachelsmith1989]

Yeah, any time I'm traveling and I'm tired of listening to my iPod, I'll switch to radio and do a scan and look for some fundie radio station. I always find one. Good for a little bit of crazy. It's like they live in a totally different dimension than the one I live in and it really trips me out. Like a wake up call.

Nice reference to Venus. Totally got it. Space girl that I am.

I was flipping through channels the other day and landed on the discovery channel, which they talked for a couple of minutes about how hostile the planet's environment is. I think it should be law that christians should learn about the different planetary environments as a primer to taking care of ours... :clap: (thank you thank you very much!! lol)

[ems]

I know I've blocked out most of what my one grandfather told me because I assumed he was being kooky (and really, he didn't believe 1/3 of what came out of his own mouth on a good day)...

but he did tell 8-year-old-me that I couldn't' go to heaven because I had my ears pierced because "if God had wanted you to have holes in your ears, you'd have been born with them."

(I told mom on him who told dad who gave him some sort of hell; grandpa had very strictly monitored access to us and was forbidden from discussing theology w/ us)

LOL! My mom said the same thing about ear piercings, but jokingly. She just reallllly doesn't like needles and doesn't have her own ears pierced, and she wouldn't let me get mine pierced until I was 18 and legally an adult.

Laughing aside, this thread makes me sad :(. It's such a shame what some crazies do in the name of religion. Thankfully I haven't really encountered too many full-on fundies IRL.

[jenny_islander]

I got the "D&D causes schizophrenia" argument too.

If we're including online arguments, I had a fundamentalist tell me that I should not expect men to clean up their own urine in a shared bathroom because urine is odorless (talk about somebody thinking their own ---- doesn't stink!) and more importantly because sprinkling urine about is free and manly behavior that women must not restrict with their womany ways, or something like that.

[Angri-la]

Oh yes, almost forgot this jewel, which came from my former Mother In Law: I could not get pregnant because I allowed Satan into my womb. Huh.

I hadn't yet seen Rosemary's Baby. Hmm...maybe there is a baby with glowing eyes out there that once was in my uterus. I suspect one of you is raising it on your atheist baby napping farms I keep hearing about from the fundies. Tell him Mom says "Hey".

[AnnoDomini]

Not only should they be required to clean it up, but first required to SIT IN IT so they know how it is for us, and why it's such a 'big deal'.

[thoughtful]

Some of the posts on this thread have brought me to tears. How can people be so cruel?

I have never had this kind of craziness thrown at me, I'm happy to say.

[muffynbear]

I remember I went on a mission trip in 1998 to Maine with the youth group when I was 14. We took a day trip to this small fishing village. We had some free time to walk around and shop. I found this quaint little record store and bought two Stevie Nicks records (Bella Donna and Wild Heart). Stevie Nicks is my idol. Anywho, driving back from out excursion, my minister spotted my records and he said: "Stevie Nicks? She practices witchcraft! How can you listen to her music?" He was clearly pissed. He then proceeded to lecture me about listening to her music and how I'm letting "evil" influences into my life by listening to her. :roll: For the record (pun intended), I still have those albums and my (former) minster can fuck off. He's the biggest hypocrite of all.