Craziest statement/judgement/scolding you heard from a Fundy

[holierthanyou]

Five years ago a pastor told me that he "knew my kind", and that within just a few minutes of meeting me he knew what my problem was. He then proceeded to "invite" me to repent of said sin. The sin? In his words, my biggest problem was that I "had arrogantly become educated beyond my level of obedience". "Educated beyond your obedience"?!? WTF does that even mean? It's a sin to learn to think? I still don't really get it.

Anyway, it made me want to ask other FJers now- what's the craziest/most brazen statement a Fundy has made to you?

Edited to add: What exactly is the cut off for education before it interferes with your obedience? College? Third Grade?

[emmiedahl]

When I was 12, a relative took me for therapy at her Christian church (long, long story so I'll leave it there). He told me that my depression, which was probably caused by having a terminally ill parent, was the result of demon possession and that I needed to become Christian and do all this funky stuff to exorcize myself.

[holierthanyou]

Yikes! I will "count my blessings" that no one tried to convince me to go in for an exorcism (yet).

[Crackedeggs]

Ohh! I'm demon possessed too! And this tongues speaking pew shaking prophet man "exorcized" me.

[Cordial]

When I mentioned that my youth pastor (15 years ago) didn't care that my friends and I sometimes played with a Ouija board, a (present-day) acquaintance became gravely concerned that I had gone to a demon church and told me she fears for my children. Because I am probably still carrying those demons with me.

[ladypuglover]

I was told that God would forsake me as I have never spoke in tongues.

I was told that my children were going to burn in hell for only being half human because I am a divorced woman who remarried.

That I am no proper Christian by serving the homeless, the sick and the helpless.

That Jesus will see me in hell for rescueing animals.

[snarkbillie]

There is a church in my city (where my aunt goes) that has on their prayer list to pray for me because I married "The Antichrist". They're pretty sure my husband is evil incarnate. They think he's got some kind of demon possessing me.

[Vex]

"Atheists are the tools of the devil, sent to lead good Christians astray".

I'll never forget it, I was 16 and it came from a Lutheran Archbishop addressing my conservative Lutheran school, after he was told half my religion class (myself included) admitted to being atheists.

I don't know about any of the atheists here, but clearly the Devil is not paying me enough to motivate me, as I have yet to lead a single Christian - good, bad or indifferent - astray.

[GeoBQn]

Reading an Orthodox Jewish book (not sure what type) that said, "G-d doesn't listen to prayers that come from synagogues without mechitzahs." (A mechitzah is a curtain, wall, or balcony that separates women from men.)

[meow139]

A few. I was around 18 I think, so it was a while ago. I was at a park one day, walking my dog. This dude is walking down the path with his wife, and I recognize them as fundies. They stare at me in horror and are like "Alice! What are you doing?!" I'm really confused and tell them that I'm not Alice. The guy says "Daughter, due to your blatant disobedience, you will burn with Satan for all eternity!" And I'm like "Dude, what the hell are you talking about?" The lady says "How dare you use that language! Where are your siblings?! You were supposed to be watching them!" I'm really creeped out so I just run at this point. I would hate to have been Alice when they got home.

Once a priest told me my brother was possessed by the devil and would gladly do an exorcism for a couple thousand dollars. If I hadn't known whether it was legal to punch a priest or not, that guy would have gone back to church missing a couple teeth.

[CanadianHippie]

I was told that God would forsake me as I have never spoke in tongues.

I was told that my children were going to burn in hell for only being half human because I am a divorced woman who remarried.

That I am no proper Christian by serving the homeless, the sick and the helpless.

That Jesus will see me in hell for rescueing animals.

Ok... The person who told you this? Have they ever actually read the bible? Or even studied the most basic aspects of Christianity?

[Beeks]

A southern baptist family moved in across the street from us when I was a kid:

the wife asked my mom if my dad had horns, and how he his them without wearing a kippah

[CanadianHippie]

A southern baptist family moved in across the street from us when I was a kid:

the wife asked my mom if my dad had horns, and how he his them without wearing a kippah

Hehe that makes me chuckle, only because I know the history of the word "cuckold".

[ladypuglover]

Ok... The person who told you this? Have they ever actually read the bible? Or even studied the most basic aspects of Christianity?

Oh yes, they all would say they knew the bible better than anyone else. Think along the lines of the chick who lost her house in a tornado and then blogged with a heart shaped tornado. Or the Duggars. Then you know the kinds of fundies I do.

[emmyfair]

When I was a little girl, about 7 or so, I was pulled aside by a church lady in all her floral glory and told that because my parents were divorced, I was going to hell and there was nothing I could do about it.

[Alecto]

I was raped because I was wearing a tank top.

[meow139]

I was raped because I was wearing a tank top.

OMFG seriously?!

[Beeks]

I was raped because I was wearing a tank top.

Holy F, that takes the cake.

[onomatopoeia]

Holy F, that takes the cake.

Mine is nothing compared to this one. (So sorry, Alecto.) When I had my first miscarriage, my husband & I chose to grieve very privately. I pretty much only wanted my husband and my immediate family around me for about 2 weeks. A a couple months later, our pastor told me that I was "preventing others (people in the church) from being a blessing."

[Alecto]

I was date raped when I was 16. My drink was spiked. After, I didn't feel I could speak to my mother about the situation, especially since I was pregnant. So I went to my pastor's wife at the church I had just started attending (I had just moved), who asked me what I was wearing, and informed me good girls don't wear tank tops, and that was why I was raped. She also encouraged me not to report it and ruin some poor boy's reputation when I obviously invited it.

Needless to say, I had an abortion a few weeks later, and never told her or anyone in my family. I lived with a lot of pain and guilt from the abortion because of that experience.

[Beeks]

I was date raped when I was 16. My drink was spiked. After, I didn't feel I could speak to my mother about the situation, especially since I was pregnant. So I went to my pastor's wife at the church I had just started attending (I had just moved), who asked me what I was wearing, and informed me good girls don't wear tank tops, and that was why I was raped. She also encouraged me not to report it and ruin some poor boy's reputation when I obviously invited it.

Needless to say, I had an abortion a few weeks later, and never told her or anyone in my family. I lived with a lot of pain and guilt from the abortion because of that experience.

I'm sorry Alecto.

[Buzzard]

I was date raped when I was 16. My drink was spiked. After, I didn't feel I could speak to my mother about the situation, especially since I was pregnant. So I went to my pastor's wife at the church I had just started attending (I had just moved), who asked me what I was wearing, and informed me good girls don't wear tank tops, and that was why I was raped. She also encouraged me not to report it and ruin some poor boy's reputation when I obviously invited it.

Needless to say, I had an abortion a few weeks later, and never told her or anyone in my family. I lived with a lot of pain and guilt from the abortion because of that experience.

Fuckers

[Alecto]

Please don't be sorry for me. It was that point that changed me from a tow the line Christian to someone who thought for herself.

Besides, I'd be a horrible mother.

[FriendlyFundie]

Wow...this thread is so sad. Honestly no wonder you are (or most) are atheist or agnostic! I have no words for the level of crazy, hatred and plain old stupidity that has been spoken to you by people claiming to be Christian. Please know that we are all not way! I consider myself a fundy lite by your standards but I am divorced and remarried and have also dealt with being raped when I was 16. I never told anyone about it until many years later and I cannot imagine someone I trusted telling me I asked for it? What the fresh hell is that?? Really!

Anyway, when I first became a Christian I was living with my boyfriend (now husband) and our 3 month old daughter. Someone in the church told me that until we can be properly married I should take our daughter and move out, file for support, housing assistance and food stamps while he paid for the rest of the bills. Then once we were married we could move back in together. I had never heard anything so stupid in all my life and honestly had the pastor backed up that drivel I wouldn't have been back to that church or any probably.

[InkyGirl]

I was told I had a demon in me 'cuz I had night terrors. Then some weird guy who had tried to burn down his house prayed over me.