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Denise Sproul Died MERGED


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I fear for the mental health of young children who lose a parent in a religious culture that expects people to rejoice at the death of a believer. When your dad blogs this:

Denise, enjoying the blessed vision of our God and Father, is at home with the Lord. Cancer no longer afflicts her, and every tear has been dried away. The Queen of Orlando casts her crown at her Savior’s feet, and together, they dance.

but all you know is that your Mommy is gone and that is the worst thing you can imagine happening, what happens to you?

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How sad. My thoughts are with her loved ones.

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Cordial said:

I fear for the mental health of young children who lose a parent in a religious culture that expects people to rejoice at the death of a believer.

This. There is good reason to fear for their mental health. My husband's mother died of kidney disease when he was very young. His father told the story of how relatives sat around his mother's oxygen tent singing hymns. Meanwhile, her toddler son was being cared for by a succession of church ladies, and not taken to see his mother because it was too upsetting.

After her death, all photos of her disappeared, and she was never mentioned, except to say that she was in Heaven and God had some good reason for taking her so young. There was no grieving, no talking about her. It was just as you say--he was expected to believe the loss of his mother was God's will, and be happy that she was such a good Christian and went to Heaven without complaining. My husband's father later remarried, to a woman who believed herself to be the world's best Christian and was a harsh and hostile stepmother to an orphan child. His father actually said--in front of him, and me--that it was God's providence his real mother died, because she couldn't have any more children, whereas his stepmother provided him with a wonderful new family of two wonderful sons . . . unlike my husband, his firstborn, who was just kind of written off as collateral damage. HIs dad wasn't even a fundie--just a Missouri Synod Lutheran, who was normally a pretty nice guy, but didn't seem to realize how harmful that was.

My husband's unresolved grief and abandonment issues caused severe problems in our marriage. I'm happy to say that he finally got some (SECULAR) psychotherapy, which helped him tremendously and allowed him finally to deal with his buried anger and sadness, and become a much happier person. Which, naturally, made me a happier person too. :) I'm still really pissed at his family for treating him that way. :evil:

Sorry--TL;DR! Bottom line: not letting kids grieve is setting them up for a lifetime of emotional issues.

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I feel so sad for her children because I know that has got to be really hard for them.

And boltingmadonna - what happened to your husband - oh my goodness! HOw horribly insenstive to treat a child like that.

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Those poor kids. I guess they knew this was coming, but I can't imagine that makes it too much eaiser. Your mother is your mother, she's special.

When I was about 8, my best friend's mother died quite suddenly. She was absolutely devestated. She wouldn't talk to anyone but me for a couple of months at school, and she found it very difficult to cope. My friend's father was a psychiatrist, but that didn't make it any easier for either of them to cope with the loss. That was in a normal, healthy household and it severely traumatised my friend... so I can't imagine how much harder it must be when you're told that your mother's death is this sparkly, wonderful, happy event and you're selfish and wrong to feel sad.

Incidentally, I'll give R.C some more time. I say a year before he remarries.

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I also feel terribly for those poor kids. There are like 7 of them, young ones, and the oldest daughter is like 18. I hope the older girls don't get stuck raising their younger brothers and sisters now that they don't have a mother and Dad is all wrapped up with his ministry.

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I fear for the mental health of young children who lose a parent in a religious culture that expects people to rejoice at the death of a believer. When your dad blogs this:

but all you know is that your Mommy is gone and that is the worst thing you can imagine happening, what happens to you?

Do these people not remember that Jesus wept when Lazarus died? It's perfectly normal and good to be sad when someone dies.

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My dad died when I was seventeen. It well and truly sucks. Poor kids. :(

I wonder why some fundies are so scared of normal human emotions. Grief is for the living; you can believe somebody is in whatever afterlife you believe in and still be horribly sad because you miss them. It has nothing to do with where they are, it's about where we are.

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I know this is silly of me to ask but why is his wife, The Queen Of Orlandao? When she was younger was she in a beauty pagent? I'm not being snarky with the question.

My mom died but I don't call her the Queen of (insert the name of my city) so I thought maybe there was some reason behind Sproul using that title.

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Her father-in-law R.C. Sproul Sr.'s Ligonier Ministries is in Orlando FL, so that has to be it.

I'll bet Dougie is composing his purple, OTT obituary at this very moment.

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My husband's secretary died young, of breast cancer, leaving an 8 year old son. At the funeral, the Episcopal priest laid it on thick that she CHOSE TO BE WITH GOD RATHER THAN HER 8 YEAR OLD SON.

I almost walked right out of the church. I am still angry when I think about it, 5 or so years later, and I should have written that guy a letter. I wonder how Matthew is doing with his abandonment issues now.

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I'd guess that "Queen of Orlando" is some kind of inside, family term of endearment. I wouldn't give Junior any grief over it.

ETsay: It's not only Calvinists who can be unrealistic about bereavement and grieving.

When my mom died, waltzed my idiot cousin, of all things an ordained Lutheran minister who should IMHO have stayed with his sales career. Do you know what he booms out, in the middle of our home? "Why are we all sad? We should be HAPPY! Aunt Bigmamajunebug is in HEAVEN! We should be LAUGHING! We should be celebrating!"

Also, in case the young Sproul is reading here, my very real sympathies on the loss of your momma. You're only 18 and that is WAY too young to be motherless. I am sorry and have you and your dad and all your young siblings in my most earnest prayers.

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visionforum.com/news/blogs/doug/2011/12/9819/

Praying for her family. I don't care how devout she was, I am sure she was desperately sad to leave such young children.

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Listen, we have it ALL WRONG!

“I don’t get angry with God. He doesn’t owe me anything but His wrath. But that’s not why He gave me cancer. He gave it to me because He loves me, just like He gave it to Denise, because He loves her. This is neither punishment nor permission. This is a gift from Him.â€

http://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/hope/ I didn't break the link because Jr's oldest daughter has posted here before.

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Listen, we have it ALL WRONG!

“I don’t get angry with God. He doesn’t owe me anything but His wrath. But that’s not why He gave me cancer. He gave it to me because He loves me, just like He gave it to Denise, because He loves her. This is neither punishment nor permission. This is a gift from Him.â€

http://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/hope/ I didn't break the link because Jr's oldest daughter has posted here before.

It's Calvinism. Calvinist believe that everyone is pretty worthless until they become Christians. It sometimes appears to me-an outsider- that they delight in discussing how worhtless and scummy that they are in their god's eyes.

Although it sounds depressing to me, I suppose that the followers must find some comfort in their theology.

If his daughter comes to this site, I would again extend my sympathy. This must be very hard on her.

Despite what her father writes, I hope for his own mental health that he allows himself to grieve and not feel that he has to always be an example to others. His feelings, no matter how sad, does not make him less a Christian and I hope that he knows that.

His quote was in response to a nurse that asked if he ever got angry with god. Why she would ask such an intimate question to a grieving man, I don't know. That seems a little rude. However, feeling angry at god would not make him a bad person and I hope that he doesn't feel that his emotions over his wife's death define how great or weak his faith is.

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Sad indeed.

I don't want to tell you the rest of the conversation with my husband that followed about how they'd manage the household. You can imagine, though.

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