Michelle's recorded letter to Jubilee

[Aeryn406]

I love how she said that she would say she had 20 children now. She reached that magical number (in her mind) and now she can rest easy.

No matter what anyone says, I still think there's an unspoken contest in the whole QF movement and now she thinks she's "won." She's beat out Kelly B, by a smidgen, and everyone else by a country mile. (And, she'd swear that the woman from the 1700/1800's doesn't count because there's no matchy-matchy family picture to prove it!)

[FuManchu]

This is turning into a fascinating and rare look into the actual consequences of the pro-life default that personhood begins at conception. Any number of politicians will parrot that line without knowing or caring about the consequences, but I don't remember ever seeing the principle followed through, for better or worse, to its logical conclusions.

This raises the grim prospect of families with no children due to multiple miscarriages feeling socially and religiously obliged to claim that they have in fact had several (named) children, and thank God for bringing them such blessings. May we never end up there!

[Munasa]

If Kelly starts counting her miscarriages as children, won't she beat Michelle?

[Rachel333]

I'm not sure if the Duggars realize it, but they're definitely not the biggest family in history. There's the Russian couple, obviously, but there have been other families who had over 20. I remember reading about a woman in the early 20th century who had 22 and all lived. If you are counting miscarriages as children then there are many more families with over 20.

[The Larch]

Ugh, I can't *stand* the baby voice. Does anyone have a link to a transcript so I don't have to listen to it?

I typed it up for those who don't want to listen (in spoiler tags for those who don't want to read it, either--I'm not sure if it was really the content, or her incredibly creepy voice, but I found the whole thing really disturbing/upsetting):

Dear Jubilee,

Mommy wanted to write a letter to my precious baby girl.

You know, your name, Jubilee Shalom Duggar, means joyful celebration of peace. We were so thankful to God when we found out we were expecting you! So often in society, babies are looked upon as a problem, trial, or responsibility, but God says babies are a blessing. We do not believe that babies are a bother, a headache, or a financial drainer, or a career interrupter. We love babies! Your siblings did not view you as the competition. They are truly saddened and disappointed to not have really known you. Only God knows how much you were already loved. You were not loved any less because you were baby number twenty, or Duggar grand-baby number twenty-two.

We are blessed because you lived. You were only here with us such a short time; it's an awesome thought to me that you fulfilled your life's purpose, in such a short time. What a blessing to know that you are in the arms of Jesus, and that it was His face that you saw first. You were loved. You were wanted. Your parents wanted you to be. Your grandparents wanted you to be. Your brothers and your sisters wanted you to be, and the rest of the family wanted you to be.

I will miss listening to your heartbeat and praying for you as you grow in my womb. I will miss feeling you kick in my tummy. I will miss cradling you in my arms and singing to you. I will miss teaching you to sing "Jesus Loves Me." I will miss watching you grow up and learn. I will miss seeing life through your eyes, as I have enjoyed doing with all the other children so much. I will miss doing Mommy things with you and for you. I will miss noticing how you do things like the others, or how different you are. I will miss your smile and your personality. I will miss holding you, and hugging you, and kissing you, and touching your soft skin. I will miss hearing your voice and your songs. I will miss reading with you and talking with you. I will miss watching you play and watching you work. I will miss taking pictures of you and seeing you experience things for the first time. I will miss taking you to the zoo. It overwhelms me to think of all that I will miss about you.

You're a love I was able to touch for such a short few moments and a life I will hold in my heart. I don't know God's purpose for taking you on to Heaven, but I know your short life will help me to remember truly how fragile life is. It will help me to more fully enjoy the time I have here with the other family members. It will help me to focus on what is truly important in life, and help me to be more aware of Heaven and the ultimate destination. It will help me to delight in every moment of growing up that your siblings have in my presence.

I will not forget you. I will look forward to seeing you one day. I like to think of you being in Heaven with our other loved ones there, and all of you getting to spend time together. I'm going to frame your birth date and meaning of your name with all of your siblings' pictures on our baby wall. From now on, when I'm asked how many children I have, the answer will be twenty: Nineteen here, and one in heaven.

You are precious to me, Jubilee. Mommy loves you.

[TaterTotCasserole]

I don't know how she can say she will missing touching her. She barely touches the ones that are alive.

[Aeryn406]

This is turning into a fascinating and rare look into the actual consequences of the pro-life default that personhood begins at conception. Any number of politicians will parrot that line without knowing or caring about the consequences, but I don't remember ever seeing the principle followed through, for better or worse, to its logical conclusions.

This raises the grim prospect of families with no children due to multiple miscarriages feeling socially and religiously obliged to claim that they have in fact had several (named) children, and thank God for bringing them such blessings. May we never end up there!

This brings up the exact senario that was shared yesterday: the funeral march of the tiny casket in Handmaid's Tale. If a pre-20 week miscarriage = a really tiny baby, where's the offical calendar cut-off, just to make sure we're within the law ... 12 weeks = funeral? 8 weeks? Positive test-stick? How about "4 days late on period + breakfast didn't agree with me today"? *Sorry - I'll try to cut back on the snark. I know it's early. :oops:

[lilwriter85]

I don't know how she can say she will missing touching her. She barely touches the ones that are alive.

I thought the same thing too.

[Koala]

She has come completely unhinged. Completely.

[CynicMom]

Children aren't a financial drainer??? Even in her family another child means extra TTC. wtf is she thinking?

And Jubilee already fulfilled her lifes purpose??? So nice to know her children get assigned a life purpose before they are born.

Also love the focus on her. The word "me" and "I" appear no less than 36 times in that short speech. The longest paragraph in that whole thing is about the things SHE won't get to experience with Jubilee. It's followed up by a paragraph on what Jubilee's death has taught HER. The subtext: mememememe comes through loud and clear.

[BoomerLynn]

I am truly sickened. These people ask for privacy and then proceed to give multiple interviews to People, hold a large memorial service in a megachurch(with a picof poor little Jubilee's feet on a freaking projection screen), and now they are posting a recorded letter for her on their website. They have turned her death into a media circus. I think they need to get a dictionary and look up the word privacy.

They are using this loss to promote a political agenda. It's not about Jubilee at all, and is completely disrespectful. And I guess poor Caleb doesn't count because they couldn't use him to promote an agenda.

Their behaviour is disgusting and an insult to those of us who have suffered losses and truly mourned those losses without exploiting them. I apologize if this post seems a bit all over the place. It's early, and I had a late night.

[FuManchu]

Anyone remember during the last US Presidential campaign when Tina Fey parodied Sarah Palin's 'maverick' solutions to the economy as "We're gonna take each part of the problem, and ask ourselves, what would a maverick do in this situation? And then, you know, we'll do that"?

This is a similar principle. Michelle is sitting down and thinking "What would a publicly pro-life person with media interest do in this situation?" And then she's, you know, doing that.

[demgirl]

Ugh. As usual, it's all about J'chelle.

You're a love I was able to touch for such a short few moments and a life I will hold in my heart. I don't know God's purpose for taking you on to Heaven, but I know your short life will help me to remember truly how fragile life is. It will help me to more fully enjoy the time I have here with the other family members. It will help me to focus on what is truly important in life, and help me to be more aware of Heaven and the ultimate destination. It will help me to delight in every moment of growing up that your siblings have in my presence.

I will not forget you. I will look forward to seeing you one day. I like to think of you being in Heaven with our other loved ones there, and all of you getting to spend time together. I'm going to frame your birth date and meaning of your name with all of your siblings' pictures on our baby wall. From now on, when I'm asked how many children I have, the answer will be twenty: Nineteen here, and one in heaven.

[Effie]

The Larch, thank you so much! I couldn't stand listening to it. I appreciate that you wrote it down.

Children aren't a financial drainer??? Even in her family another child means extra TTC. wtf is she thinking?

Haha well, she said babies and not children. Lol. She mentioned the word babies a lot (instead of children). She said babies are a blessing. :shock:

As long as the child is a baby, she seems happy to take care of it. When the baby gets older, her other children seem to take care of it instead.

[luckylibrarian]

Children aren't a financial drainer??? Even in her family another child means extra TTC. wtf is she thinking?

And Jubilee already fulfilled her lifes purpose??? So nice to know her children get assigned a life purpose before they are born.

Also love the focus on her. The word "me" and "I" appear no less than 36 times in that short speech. The longest paragraph in that whole thing is about the things SHE won't get to experience with Jubilee. It's followed up by a paragraph on what Jubilee's death has taught HER. The subtext: mememememe comes through loud and clear.

It's funny how she talks about all the things she'll never do with Jubilee - reading to her, teaching her to sing "Jesus Loves Me," etc. She doesn't do any of those things with the children she has. The sister-moms do everything.

I hate to say it, but it doesn't seem like she cared about having this baby, she just cared about reaching #20. What a famewhore. I can only imagine what those poor kids are going through, now that their mom really is the Pro-Life Princess.

[Hane]

Am I alone in thinking this glurge was ghostwritten by a pro-life professional speechwriter?

[Nuthatch1]

Not only do I think the letter was ghost written (because, while Michelle is the most literate of the bunch...she usually doesn't misuse all of her verbs like the Boob, who constantly says things like "has went", she still has only marginal command of the English language) but I don't believe the photos are really "Jubilee" either.

I think this whole pro-life publicity stunt is disgusting.

[BoomerLynn]

As long as the child is a baby, she seems happy to take care of it. When the baby gets older, her other children seem to take care of it instead.

This right here sums up her whole personality. She loves babies, but could care less about children.

[TheSassyOne]

Yikes!

I didn't listen to the audio, so at first I was like "meh" about the posts calling her out on not counting Caleb (the allegedly first miscarriage). Oh wow, then I read the transcript. Now I understand why everyone is snarking on her. Really Michelle, only one in Heaven? For her to actually make that statement. Wow, Sean and his peeps must not have been around yet to vent that before it was read/published.

See I know women who have had miscarriages and stillbirths. They do say those babies are in Heaven. They don't forget one! They also don't have funerals - a full blown funeral - for their miscarriages, heck even for the stillbirths. One of the teachers at my school had twins that were stillborn. They had a genetic abnormality. The family dressed the babies in what would have been their Christening gowns and took pictures. Yes, I know many who do that, we even took pictures/video of my Dad's funeral. But guess what, that teacher did not share those pictures with anyone at school. They were for her and her husband--period! Guess what, no one in my family goes around showing those pictures/video from my Dad's funeral to others. Why, because it's intimate and just for us.

I don't know if these people are just so fame hungry, that they've lost their moral compass - Yes I know, what an understatement! - OR is she mentally ill and to keep her "calm", everyone just allows this craziness to happen. Sadly, what's crazy for you and me, is the norm for the Duggar family. I truly do worry about those kids now. Mom doesn't even shed a tear when reading this tribute, so how are they chastised if they don't follow suit and always, and I mean ALWAYS "keep sweet"?

[buttercup]

The part in the letter about doing "Mommy things" with Jubilee actually made me chuckle. Michelle is so detached from her kids that she has to vaguely refer to "Mommy things". Perhaps she could've asked Jana/Jill for some help in describing what a mother actually does for a child on a day to day basis.

[kunoichi66]

I don't know if these people are just so fame hungry, that they've lost their moral compass - Yes I know, what an understatement!

Off-topic, but it seems to me that the above statement is doubly ironic, since these people are the ones who commonly witter on about 'only religious people have morals' and other rubbish like that.

[snarkykitty]

Okay, I listened to the recording.

I'm not sure if it sounded more like a fourth grader "reading with expression" in reading class or someone giving a crappy cold-read audition. She puts emphasis on every other word, making it sound very unnatural. it sounds so odd. So...choppy. There is zero emotion. I thought that listening to it would bring me to tears - reading the words transcribed did - but it sounded too robotic to evoke any emotion.

This makes me ill.

[Linnea]

I can't bring myself to listen to it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it sounds choppy because it's been heavily edited. She may not have been able to get through it in one take; she probably read a sentence here and there and someone patched it all together.

Either that, or she really is a robot.

[edited for riffle]

[treemom]

I read it and the letter in an of itself isn't exactly offensive to me...it seems like a letter many grieving women would write. And maybe even publish to their blogs. But taken with the whole picture of the Duggars it just seems like a political famewhoring move.

[Arielkay]

My father had six siblings. The oldest child was a girl that lived only 9 months. She died of a heart problem that would be easily fixed now. Her name was Shirley. Since she was born before the other children, they just put all her things in a chest when she died. The kids knew about this older sister, and there were some pictures of her.

When his mother died (she was only in her early forties), his father burned the chest. His sister was furious. She had wanted to keep her sister's things. But his father said - and I firmly believe he was right - that Shirley was something shared between him and his wife. Only they really knew her. Her things were private, and he could do with them what he wished now that his wife was gone. He did what he felt he needed to do. And that was his right, more than it was the right of his daughter to take the possessions of an oldest sister she never knew. Especially since this aunt is someone who, while a good person, has a tendency to go on and on about so and so's sickness and misery and how tragically they died. It's creepy.

To me, his actions showed that he and his wife and truly loved and grieved for this baby. They had to watch her slowly die in front of them. It was NO ONE's business, NO ONE's pain but theirs.