TW learns to play! But it's still all about her.

[Linnea]

Here is today's post from TW. I cut & pasted the whole thing, so you don't have to give her page views if you don't want to. (She was bragging recently about how she makes money off the haterz who check out her blog.) Bolded parts are the most facepalm-inducing.

As I mentioned, one of the best parts of speech therapy has been the ideas it has inspired regarding how to more effectively play with T1. Throwing a ball back and forth is fun, but I needed more than that throughout the day to keep my attention. Otherwise I got bored doing the same things over and over with no goal in mind. And that is what the speech therapist helped me realize, that I was missing an objective. Below are some of T1′s favorite activities at 18 months, and they are things I love to do with him as well because I clearly understand the part I am playing in our interaction (that of the teacher, which I very much enjoy).

I’m looking for a few things in a puzzle. The pegs help him develop his fine motor skills as he pinches the pieces to set them down, and I wanted it to have animals or another common object he could work on identifying. To start I set out the puzzle board but keep all the pieces off to the side, turned upside down so they are less distracting. I grab one, hold it near my mouth, and say both the name of the animal, and the sound it makes. “Sheepâ€, “Baaaaaaaahhhâ€. At some point he won’t get to have the piece until he makes one of those sounds, but for now he signs the word please to let me know he wants to put it in. He sometimes tries to put it in the right spot, and sometimes not. He’s learning and getting better with each try though! I only step in to help if I think he’s going to get too frustrated and throw a tantrum. Then he signs that he wants more, and I repeat the process with another puzzle piece.

This is something I found while browsing Pinterest. Buy some pip cleaners, take an oatmeal can, and cut holes in the top. Let your toddler stick the pipe cleaners in and help you open the lid to get them out. It teaches object permanence, and I say “in, in, in†each time he puts one inside as well to try to work on his language. When they are all inside I ask if if he wants to get them out.

If you’re worried about sharp edges, stick your fingers in all the holes to make sure they won’t hurt your toddler. That’s how I tested mine out and they are all fine (I know, they don’t look pretty).

Another activity that gives me a chance to emphasize the words in and out. Mini poms can be found at a craft store, take a plastic container, and cut holes in the top. T1 loves throwing the poms around almost as much as he loves poking them through the holes.

I picked up a little rabbit at a craft store, found an empty jar, filled it with quinoa, and stuck the rabbit inside. I’d like to get a little collection of animals and switch them out so he can discover new friends hiding inside. This is yet another chance to work on language, as I say “rabbit, rabbit†excitedly whenever we find the rabbit’s head. I also can work on things like ears and feet when those things are poking out.

This one doesn’t have many opportunities to teach language (other than the names of colors, which the speech therapist said is a bit too abstract for him now) but coloring on the windows together is really fun!

My favorite game, and his, is fishing. I gathered up a pencil, some twine, a magnet, felt, and paper clips. I cut two fish shapes out of each color of felt, laid them on top of each other, and glued a paper clip inside. The twine was tied around the pencil and a glued a magnet on the end. Voila! We could go fishing.

When we’re going fishing I say the words fish and fishing, the colors of the fish he is picking up, and make a fish face along with the sound “whawp whawp whahp†in the hope that he will imitate me in some way.

These are all things I keep in a special paper bag away from him, and whenever I bring the bag out he gets so excited! I really enjoy having our learning time each day, and I’m starting to see little bits of progress. The last time we played before we Chicago, he said “mmmmm†when I picked up the cow and “bahhh†when I picked up the sheep. Watching him learning, and helping him take part in that process, is one of my favorite parts of being a parent.

Next on my list of things to get him is this play food set. When the speech therapist comes over he will excitedly ask for the “pebpah†and the “abbleâ€. His words make me so happy.

If you have more ideas for activities I can use to play with T1 that will also help him to develop his language, fine, and gross motor skills, please comment below!

I'm actually kind of encouraged by this post, although the idea of having to be taught how to play with your child boggles my mind. I suppose I shouldn't fault her for being willing to learn, if it's really something that doesn't come naturally to her. But it does still seem like she's not happy unless she's controlling the process. Would it really be so bad to let him have access to these toys at other times, so he can play with them when *he* feels like it, instead of when *she* feels like it? And a big part of play for a child is inventing your *own* way of using objects, not just doing the tasks your mom wants you to do.

[Witsec7]

If you notice the pictures with the post you will see that Theboyiinthebathroom is wearing the same clothes for each of them. Its as if this was all a well staged drill for her readers.

[masagoroll]

You know who already knows all this kind of stuff?

QUALIFIED PRESCHOOL TEACHERS!

But you know, it would be too EVIL to give let your small child be taken care of by someone who actually has experience and enjoyment with children!

Those do sound like good things to do with him, though. I'm glad she's doing them.

I don't think there is anything wrong with her keeping those toys apart to play with as a learning experience with her, but he should have other fun and simple toys that he can play independently, and I'm worried that she is still limiting those!

[desertvixen]

It's good that she is looking for things to do with him, and maybe the chance to brag about being a CREATIVE MOMMY will help her get more engaged.

And you know, I get it. Playing the same game over and over with your kid can be boring. Just like watching the same movie or reading the same story over and over and over... but it's all part of helping the kid develop.

[polabear]

I'm really glad she's learning to play with T1. I mean, understand not being a kid person. I think I'd go bonkers if I had to stay at home all day with a kid. But, when I get to visit my nephew (who is turning 3 this spring), I LOVE playing with him. But, I somehow bonded to him the second my sister put him in my arms. He was 3 days old, and from that second, he was mine. (Well, my sister's - she lets me share. :) ) The last time I visited, we played fix things, using "daddy's tools" and random toys. By the end, he was making all the sounds I was making, and all the same motions with the tools.

This makes me think that maybe everyone was right, and she didn't bond with him. Add that to some weird ideas about kids, and you end up in your current disaster.

Oh dear.

[icecreamycakeycake]

OK, I'm officially defrauded. :lol:

I picked up a little rabbit at a craft store, found an empty jar, filled it with quinoa, and stuck the rabbit inside.

[AmandaP]

OK, I'm confused. I'm not familiar with TW or her blog but why does she have to do speech therapy with an 18 month old? As I recall, my two didn't start talking until they were two and that was considered normal.

Help?

[Conuly]

You can be behind even before it's time for actual words. For example, at his age he should have some words and be making simple pairs - go eat, cup please, daddy home.

If he's just "jargoning" (the sort of babble that sounds like language but isn't) or babbling or not even doing that, he's behind. I don't know exactly where he's at.

[Witsec7]

OK, I'm confused. I'm not familiar with TW or her blog but why does she have to do speech therapy with an 18 month old? As I recall, my two didn't start talking until they were two and that was considered normal.

Help?

Because he lives in her bathroom :o

[sugaree]

He has some pretty significant cognitive delays as well as speech delays. And his speech problems went both ways: he doesn't understand many words either.

[makepeace]

Congratulations to the speech therapist for helping TW improve without offending her.

My heart breaks about the little boy being excited when she brings the bag of special toys out. No doubt play time is 30 minutes squeezed between her blogging and social networking.

[Vex]

This makes me so angry I can barely think straight.

Congratufuckinglations, That Wife. You're doing the absolute bare minimum to stimulate the mind of your developmentally-delayed baby.

My parrots get puzzles. My parrots play with balls. My parrots get items to thread through holes. My birds get more challenges and stimulation in their cages than her baby gets.

So. Angry.

[Feberin]

It's nice that she's playing with him at all but what is wrong with throwing a ball around? If she wants to make it more fun after her husband comes home the three of them can pass the ball around that's always a big hit in our house. We also sometimes play monkey in the middle (although we accidently drop the ball a lot to allow our son to get it) and try to throw the ball into a basket or another container. Balls are one of my son's favorite toys and I can't imagine not playing with them just because I found them boring. I do like her fishing game and am going to make it for my son.

[masagoroll]

A funny thing I found out--you can also use duct tape instead of magnets when making the fishing game. :-P

[Vex]

I agree, it's about what the baby enjoys, not what she does.

[MaroonMandy]

If playing were all about what the parents enjoyed I have a strong feeling most toddlers would be able to pour a nice glass of red wine and give neck messages.

[lilah]

I really think she had/has major ppd, why else would she spend 12 hours a dayman on the computerwhile letting her kid fend for himself. It reminds me of the money experiment where the monkies were removed from their moms and were give cloth doll mommies. Babies need intraction and nurturing to develop.

[Olivia]

I think I'd go bonkers if I had to stay at home all day with a kid. But, when I get to visit my nephew (who is turning 3 this spring), I LOVE playing with him. But, I somehow bonded to him the second my sister put him in my arms. He was 3 days old, and from that second, he was mine. (Well, my sister's - she lets me share. :) )

I think there's a fascinating bond with related children for many of us. I instantly bonded to my cousins' kids. I think, from an evolutionary perspective, maybe it has to do with shared DNA to some extent, but there was nothing like that feeling of being in love the second I picked up their babies. Not that all babies don't awake our desire to love and nurture to some extent, but I do think that's something special.

[galaxygirl]

This makes me so angry I can barely think straight.

Congratufuckinglations, That Wife. You're doing the absolute bare minimum to stimulate the mind of your developmentally-delayed baby.

My parrots get puzzles. My parrots play with balls. My parrots get items to thread through holes. My birds get more challenges and stimulation in their cages than her baby gets.

So. Angry.

This. Our fur babies have more toys than T1 does.

[Rowan]

I think there's a fascinating bond with related children for many of us. I instantly bonded to my cousins' kids. I think, from an evolutionary perspective, maybe it has to do with shared DNA to some extent, but there was nothing like that feeling of being in love the second I picked up their babies. Not that all babies don't awake our desire to love and nurture to some extent, but I do think that's something special.

I can't wait for this - my sister is due in May (the big u/s is Monday and I'll be driving over an hour each way to go) and I've already bought and knitted this kid so much stuff. And have plans for so many fun things. S/he's going to get more attention from her aunt then T1 gets from his mom who is there 24/7.

The speech therapy for T1 at this age is also because he has almost no receptive language skills which is a big issue at this point in his development.

[Wolfie]

I can't wait for this - my sister is due in May (the big u/s is Monday and I'll be driving over an hour each way to go) and I've already bought and knitted this kid so much stuff. And have plans for so many fun things. S/he's going to get more attention from her aunt then T1 gets from his mom who is there 24/7.

The speech therapy for T1 at this age is also because he has almost no receptive language skills which is a big issue at this point in his development.

I felt that bond instantly with my niece. With my nephew it took a little longer, but when he fell asleep watching my face while I was holding him at a week old, It was there. Just spoke to my niece last night actually, and I heard my nephew babbling too.

[emmiedahl]

I feel a strong bond to my nieces and nephews, and because of my step/adopted/etc family, I share DNA with only a few of them.

I know what it is like to get bored with "Where's your nose? There's your nose!" over and over because I have a one-year-old, and they love repetition like I love a stiff drink. But seriously, most mothers play with their kids even though it is not always as mentally stimulating for us as other things. I'm glad TW is playing with T1, but I am a little surprised that it took this much to make her act like your everyday parent. Doesn't the LDS church kinda encourage a lot of familial interaction? I have Mormons in my husband's family; while I disagree with some of their parenting, I would never call them neglectful. They are so into their kids, especially the little ones. They read to them every night and say tons of prayers with them, and they have one night a week when the family just plays games together all evening.