Grady girls stole flowers from roadside memorial?

[Conuly]

What are they for?

Because I only see them in certain neighborhoods with a high population or daytime population (that is, people who work there during the day) of immigrants, I suspect it's a Voudon/Santeria sort of thing. You also might see specific candles that I don't see in memorials, and you do NOT see photographs, signs, cards, and teddy bears like you DO see in memorials.

Why, exactly, they do this I don't know. I don't know enough about the religion to hazard any speculation, and I could be totally running in the wrong direction anyway.

[NurseNell]

The term litter is what our area considers it to be and when the offender actually gets a ticket (instead of just a warning), along with their name in the local paper is their crime which was littering.

It must be super clean where you live, I'd love to visit. I have no problems with roadside memorials but damn, all the fast food wrappers, drink cups, beer and soda cans, used condoms, etc need to go.

[BoomerLynn]

Yeah, that's a real shame that you have to be reminded of the tragedies of other people so often...bless you heart, it must be awful :( :roll:

Those families probably do it just to annoy you!

ETA~ We're not exactly talking about throwing a McDonald's wrapper on the side of the road here...the term "litter" is really insulting.

Here's an idea. Don't look. You should be watching the road anyway.

[Sola]

Damage control? I can't find the post, it looks like it has been removed.

[She Who Laughs]

Here's an idea. Don't look. You should be watching the road anyway.

Here's an idea, people should obey the law.

[VodouDoll]

Because I only see them in certain neighborhoods with a high population or daytime population (that is, people who work there during the day) of immigrants, I suspect it's a Voudon/Santeria sort of thing. You also might see specific candles that I don't see in memorials, and you do NOT see photographs, signs, cards, and teddy bears like you DO see in memorials.

Why, exactly, they do this I don't know. I don't know enough about the religion to hazard any speculation, and I could be totally running in the wrong direction anyway.

It could be. The Orisha Esu (who has a bunch of other names depending on which tradition you're talking about, but he's Eshu in Santeria and Papa Legba in Vodoun) is the guardian of crossroads and communication. It's not uncommon for devotees to set up little shrines to him at crossroads and include a bit of money to make sure he delivers their messages to the spirits accurately. Otherwise he might not, just to mess with them. Ten dollars seems kind of steep though. If that's what these shrines are, they must have important messages attached.

[NurseNell]

Here's an idea, people should obey the law.

Where I live roadside memorials are not against the law. Littering is but you'd never know it by the litter you see on city streets and on roads. If a given area specifically has a law against roadside memorials then by all means obey the law. I'm more concerned about the increase in people texting and driving, which is against the law here, and leads to more roadside memorials.

[MerryHappy]

Why stop there? Why not pillage grave sites? Mebbe dig up a few coffins and see what interesting knick knacks they could pocket?

That is disgusting. I can't believe they would do it, let alone blog about it. Shame on them.

[atheistjd]

Here's an idea, people should obey the law.

You're that neighbor who's always legally in the right but who everyone in the neighborhood hates/avoids, aren't you. How's that working out for you?

Angri-la, so sorry to hear about your sister.

I agree with whoever said it is a reminder of our own mortality, in a way. In a more obvious way, it is a reminder that this area (be it an intersection, and around here you will see a few with TONS of memorials for multiple accidents, or a lake) is particularly dangerous. When I see one, I think for moment about the victims and their families and also make a mental note to be extra careful. I think you have to be super speshul snowflake to see it and think the same thing you do when you see McDonald's wrapper... Things have more than a literal meaning - on the side of the road =/= litter. Everything has a social, political, spiritual, locational, or other context... things do not exist in a vacuum.

I am not saying I think they are pretty, or that they are necessarily how I would choose to remember someone, but hey, the world's not about me and my opinion. Shocking, I know.

[Destiny]

That's what cemeteries are for. I lost a brother to a motorcycle accident on a california highway. We prefer to place flowers at his grave and remember him in our hearts.

Hmm. I'm from California too, and roadside memorials are supercommon in the part I am from. I've never heard of ANYONE getting in trouble for setting up a memorial. Yes, the ones that aren't tended are eventually removed, but I've never heard another Californian express the idea that they are litter.

I lost a good friend to a car accident when I was a teenager, and while I also put flowers on his grave, the roadside memorial marking where he was killed was a meaningful place to me. I think it's a good thing to allow grieving families and friends to express their grief in whatever manner works for them at the time (as long as it is not hurting anyone). If it means that they put flowers and a cross on the side of the road, I'm totally cool with that.

[She Who Laughs]

You're that neighbor who's always legally in the right but who everyone in the neighborhood hates/avoids, aren't you. How's that working out for you?

Angri-la, so sorry to hear about your sister.

I agree with whoever said it is a reminder of our own mortality, in a way. In a more obvious way, it is a reminder that this area (be it an intersection, and around here you will see a few with TONS of memorials for multiple accidents, or a lake) is particularly dangerous. When I see one, I think for moment about the victims and their families and also make a mental note to be extra careful. I think you have to be super speshul snowflake to see it and think the same thing you do when you see McDonald's wrapper... Things have more than a literal meaning - on the side of the road =/= litter. Everything has a social, political, spiritual, locational, or other context... things do not exist in a vacuum.

I am not saying I think they are pretty, or that they are necessarily how I would choose to remember someone, but hey, the world's not about me and my opinion. Shocking, I know.

We have awesome neighbors and have cook-outs in the summer, holiday parties, bonfires, etc. And the roads in our area are kept very clean and neat looking by all the awesome volunteers who get together to pick up litter on a monthly basis.

[She Who Laughs]

Hmm. I'm from California too, and roadside memorials are supercommon in the part I am from. I've never heard of ANYONE getting in trouble for setting up a memorial. Yes, the ones that aren't tended are eventually removed, but I've never heard another Californian express the idea that they are litter.

I lost a good friend to a car accident when I was a teenager, and while I also put flowers on his grave, the roadside memorial marking where he was killed was a meaningful place to me. I think it's a good thing to allow grieving families and friends to express their grief in whatever manner works for them at the time (as long as it is not hurting anyone). If it means that they put flowers and a cross on the side of the road, I'm totally cool with that.

While my brother lived in California and his grave is in California, we aren't from there and no one else except one nephew even lives in California. His widow and daughter lived there for many, many years and they never wanted any sort of memorial at the roadside. So, when I refer to our area considering roadside memorials to be litter, I am not referring to california.

[atheistjd]

We have awesome neighbors and have cook-outs in the summer, holiday parties, bonfires, etc. And the roads in our area are kept very clean and neat looking by all the awesome volunteers who get together to pick up litter on a monthly basis.

:clap:

[Austin]

Who knew roadside memorials were so controversial? :shock:

I live in a large city with a big highway system (and thus many accidents, some of which are fatal) and these memorials are common. They're not hurting anyone and if it brings some comfort to the family/friends, what's the biggie?

Angri-la, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm getting a jericho-esque/fundie apologist vibe off of She Who Laughs.

[theologygeek]

That's what cemeteries are for. I lost a brother to a motorcycle accident on a california highway. We prefer to place flowers at his grave and remember him in our hearts.

Just because you prefer it doesn't mean everyone else does. If placing flowers next to an accident gives someone comfort, then who are you to tell people not to?

[MerryHappy]

I'm getting a jericho-esque/fundie apologist vibe off of She Who Laughs.

She is probably one of the girls parents.

[atheistjd]

She is probably one of the girls parents.

I wouldn't be surprised.

[NurseNell]

I'm getting a jericho-esque/fundie apologist vibe off of She Who Laughs.

Yeppers.

[She Who Laughs]

Just because you prefer it doesn't mean everyone else does. If placing flowers next to an accident gives someone comfort, then who are you to tell people not to?

I don't tell people not to, the sheriff/trooper does that if he catches them. I have lived in states where they are legal and common and have no problem with it. But since my current state considers them to be litter and illegal, then I am completely within my rights to remove them if I wish and/or be happy that we have volunteers who remove them when they remove other litter. If they were legal and maintained and not trashy looking then I would have no problem with them in my area. But 99% of the time they end up looking like a big pile of garbage after the first couple days (if they last that long before being taken down). I don't like seeing trashy looking memorials any more than I like seeing old appliances, computer monitors or bags of garbage on the roadside either. Perhaps the people who throw a bag of garbage on the roadside get some comfort from the fact that they don't need to pay the landfill fees - their comfort doesn't change the fact that it's illegal.

[She Who Laughs]

I'm getting a jericho-esque/fundie apologist vibe off of She Who Laughs.

Having not read every single thread or every single post... what exactly is jericho-esque?

[kesb79]

Who knew roadside memorials were so controversial? :shock:

Actually, I knew that they are somewhat controversial in some places, but that angle really wasn't my point when I started this topic. I was more focused on the fact that these girls at least claimed to be entirely ignorant of the practice. Their playful "scenarios" for how the flowers came to be on the site were oddly romanticized fundie bs, as well as horribly disrespectful of the likely truth that the flowers were placed as a memorial.

Whether you agree with the placement of roadside memorials or not, I think the removal of such by city officials as "litter" is actually far less offensive than the removal by two airheaded girls who just want the pretty flowers for themselves so they can make up fantasy stories about Prince Charming gone wrong.

[She Who Laughs]

Whether you agree with the placement of roadside memorials or not, I think the removal of such by city officials as "litter" is actually far less offensive than the removal by two airheaded girls who just want the pretty flowers for themselves so they can make up fantasy stories about Prince Charming gone wrong.

I agree with you about these girls' actions being offensive and they certainly weren't thinking too clearly when they posted their little fantasies online. Sounds like they have a long way to go to become mature enough to even handle a prince charming or even a prince-not-so-charming.

[NurseNell]

But 99% of the time they end up looking like a big pile of garbage after the first couple days (if they last that long before being taken down). I don't like seeing trashy looking memorials any more than I like seeing old appliances, computer monitors or bags of garbage on the roadside either. Perhaps the people who throw a bag of garbage on the roadside get some comfort from the fact that they don't need to pay the landfill fees - their comfort doesn't change the fact that it's illegal.

I agree they should be removed once they start looking old and trashy. That is true even in cemeteries. Flowers are left until they wilt and die, then the caretaker removes them. These roses in question were new and fresh, they should have been left untouched by the Grady sisters. With only one bouquet at the site it was probably the anniversary of a loved one's death. Some people leaving memorials do come back in a few days and remove the flowers. Look at Buckingham Palace after Princess Di's death. The memorials were beautiful, and after a few days they were removed.

I'm aware that in some areas it is illegal, in which case another method of memorializing a death needs to be chosen. I've seen newspaper notices as memorials for a loved one's death.

[Angri-la]

I'm getting a jericho-esque/fundie apologist vibe off of She Who Laughs.

I suspected a robot, but, then, I see robots EVERYWHERE.