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Oh MY GOD this blog makes my head spin


Beeks

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Posted

Kelly Stamps re-tweeted this woman's announcement that she is engaged. My GOD. I checked out her blog and I just....I have no words:

carolineintexas.blogspot.com/

In case you don't know: Kelly Stamps is (very likeable) fundie lite and this crazy cakes seems to be too judging by her about me:

"My name is Caroline and I am from Texas!!! I HAVE A DEEP, DEEP HUNGER FOR THE WORD OF GOD. HE HAS GIVEN ME A DESIRE TO STUDY SCRIPTURE AND WISH I COULD DO IT ALLLLLLL DAY LONGGGGG! But i must work. I am a high school art teacher. I love my job because I use my artistic gift all day long. I am a proud 29 year old single gal seeking first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added. I serve at my wonderful church as a singles leader and on the women's ministry committee!"

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Posted
I HAVE A DEEP, DEEP HUNGER FOR THE WORD OF GOD. HE HAS GIVEN ME A DESIRE TO STUDY SCRIPTURE AND WISH I COULD DO IT ALLLLLLL DAY LONGGGGG!

O_O I really need to scrub my filthy, filthy brain. "Study Scripture" indeed.

Posted

O_O I really need to scrub my filthy, filthy brain. "Study Scripture" indeed.

We can scrub together.

Posted

ROFL. DEEP, DEEEP HUNGER!

For some reason I hear this as crazy-eyed screaming demon voice. And then she switches back to perky child-woman when it switches to lowercase again, lol.

This reminds me of my mom's inspirational quotes day calendar. "As Jesus to reach down and touch you with his omnipotent finger of love".

.... O.O

Come the fuck on. Women can't show their ankles, but we can talk about Jesus' magical love finger???

ETA: WRT the blog: "Put a bird on it!"

ETA: (Sorry). She put 22 exclamation points after "and he's 38". That other special exclaiming girl is going to have to step up her game.

Posted

:lol:

I actually spent a few minutes thinking it was a joke blog but she doesn't seem to update enough for that.

Posted

I love how in one post she's IN LOVE WITH SHANE

and in the post prior she's IN LOVE WITH THE BUFFALO BECAUSE HE HAS TINY FEET JUST LOOK AT THOSE FEET!!!!

Posted

Beeks, just noticed that the link isn't broken up above. Nix the "www" and you should be good.

Posted
Beeks, just noticed that the link isn't broken up above. Nix the "www" and you should be good.

Yikes, thank you. I always thought just removing the http worked. Fixed now!

Posted

God told her that she would never get married in her current school district (she's an art teacher). So she up and moved to Arkansas. As of July she had no boyfriend but was wishfully hoping to be married within a year. As of this month, she's in love with a slightly older fellow teacher (she is 30, believe it or not) and says they have already discussed rings. RUN DUDE, RUN! She's a stage 5 clinger, for sure!

Posted
God told her that she would never get married in her current school district (she's an art teacher). So she up and moved to Arkansas. As of July she was wishfully hoping to be married within a year. As of this month, she's in love with a slightly older fellow teacher (she is 30, believe it or not) and says they have already discussed rings. RUN DUDE, RUN! She's a stage 5 clinger, for sure!

Too late - according to her twitter they just got engaged:

@carolineintexas: Y'all!!!! I just got engaged!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!http://t.co/Sc7fMX5 twitpic.com/7q2vmz Immeasurably more y'all.

Posted

But, SHE HAS MAGICAL GOD ARMOUR YAALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!

"But it is not without some struggle. Within a week of being here, 2 different areas of past strongholds (that I have been set free from) tried to show their ugly, evil little eyes. I instantly knew satan was so very upset that I had continued to follow God this summer and was in a new place that he does not want the Light or Fragrance of God to be. SO I have been really intentionally making sure I have the Armor of God on daily. Especially the shield of faith.....since it helps protect us from temptations."

I dunno. If Satan was forsuuuuure!! watching me, personally, THAT closely, I don't think I'd have a public blog - it just makes it easier for him to know where you are!!!!!!111!

Posted

Oh my God I think the world supply of exclamation points has decreased!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!

Awesome discovery Beeks. This woman is... uh, I don't know how to describe her. She is 30 and "doesn't know how to be a girlfriend"? Never dated before? And now she is dating, head over heels in love and almost engaged within what seems like a couple of weeks? She sounds a little like the crushes I had in high school "OMG I am so in love, I can't live without him he is SO AWESOME!!!!" meanwhile you barely know the guy and just think he is handsome and makes funny jokes or something. Well, at least she is positive and upbeat!

I was interested to learn that there are bison in Arkansas though.

Posted

How does a high school art teacher afford a house like that?

Posted

Woah!!!!!!

This woman is so very EXCITED Y'ALL!

It hurts my face to think about HOW MUCH SHE MUST BE FAKE SMILING ALL THE DANG TIME, Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Posted

The arm pic is weird

His childhood pic is weird

His painting with the bare feet is weird, and it's weird to post his paintings

3 months and already she can't wait to be engaged??

A whole lot of weirdness going on. She sounds like a 16-year-old who's in love for the first time. Definitely not a mature relationship at this point.

Posted
How does a high school art teacher afford a house like that?

Yeah, I am totally jealous now. Her house is amazing. I want to live in Arkansas.

I actually like her after reading more of her blog. Although there are LOTS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS Y'ALL!!!!!, she is always happy and optimistic, and definitely not fundy. The story of her parents is inspiring, and she has tons of cool pictures of Israel.

Posted

Hawt.

FJ GROUP SHOWER TIME::: (Double ellipses so everyone know's it has to be done!)

Posted

RUN SHANE, RUN!

Posted
RUN SHANE, RUN!

This! :lol:

Posted
How does a high school art teacher afford a house like that?

Yeah, good question. But the answer probably isn't very interesting: she's renting it, and it's in Arkansas--the rent is probably under $1000/mo.

This is getting very off-topic, but I sometimes think my quality of life would be 100x better if I lived in a quiet, cheap place like NWA. Then I realize that I wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of finding people like myself there... not if the "typical" NWA woman is like Kelly or Caroline. (And I don't dislike either of them... I am just nothing like them.)

Posted
I instantly knew satan was so very upset that I had continued to follow God this summer and was in a new place that he does not want the Light or Fragrance of God to be."

The Fragrance of God? What does God smell like, exactly?

Posted

Rain, according to Snopes ;)

Posted

Too late - according to her twitter they just got engaged:

@carolineintexas: Y'all!!!! I just got engaged!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!http://t.co/Sc7fMX5 twitpic.com/7q2vmz Immeasurably more y'all.

Well that's going to end well....

Posted

first of all, i actually snorted at the snopes thing. thanks for that!

and second of all, this HAS to be a joke. i just cannot believe there is a 30 year old somewhere who writes like that.

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