American is a language & other thoughts from Conservapedia

[Boogalou]

Since the last thread on Conservapedia got, er, derailed, I thought it would be fun to start another one. I present to you some pearls of wisdom from Conservapedia that so nicely correct for facts liberal bias:

- American is a language. So is Ebonics.

- Ebonics is spoken by uneducated underclasses.

- Canada has a higher suicide rate than the US because it's liberal

- Taoism shares many of the dangerous traits of other primitive faiths and lacks the spiritual substance of the Abrahamic traditions.

- Conservatives strive for accuracy and liberals are masters of deceit.

- Public schools do not teach that deceit is wrong.

- The Fourth of July is a secular term used to replace the religious term Independence Day

- The separation of church and state is anti-Christian bigotry

- The probability that the Earth is billions of years old is less than 3.8% (and this is a conservative estimate).

- The intelligence of humans is rapidly declining, whether measured by SAT scores, music, personal letters, quality of political debates, the quality of news articles, and many other measures. This means that if one goes back far enough, intelligence would measure at ridiculous heights, if humans were even tens of thousands of years old.

What a good dose of crazy. I love Conservapedia.

[buddingmedievalist]

Actually linguists do recognize Ebonics (which in linguistic circles is known as African American Vernacular English or AAVE) as a dialect of the language. Basically, it has grammatical and phonological rules that differ from standard English, but do actually function as rules (http://www.economist.com/blogs/johnson/ ... l_language). I just finished TAing for a modern grammar/history of the language undergrad class and we finished with a lecture on AAVE.

But the rest of it is wackadoodle

Edited because I can't think straight/to add that very few people actually speak strict Standard English. There are all kinds of regional variations in words and how they're used, etc

[pomology]

- American is a language. So is Ebonics.

I suppose if you actually define a language as a dialect with an army then American is a language. And to be honest, the difference between a language and a dialect is difficult to define. But no, American is not a language. Ebonics... is closer to being it's own language, but it still merely a dialect of English.

- Ebonics is spoken by uneducated underclasses.

Ebonics is spoken by people whose ancestors are from West Africa, which is why it shares many of the characteristics of West African languages.

- Canada has a higher suicide rate than the US because it's liberal

Oh yeah, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that is in a more northern climate where it is freezing and dark half the year. So, tell me, what explains the fact that super conservative Alaska consistently has the highest suicide rate in the United States? Whereas liberal states like Connecticut, New Jersey, New York, and Massachusetts often have some of the lowest suicide rates.

- The Fourth of July is a secular term used to replace the religious term Independence Day

I fail to understand what is religious about the concept of independence.

- The probability that the Earth is billions of years old is less than 3.8% (and this is a conservative estimate).

How on earth do you even come up with a statistic like that?

Edited because there is a difference between now and no and because I like making non-native American, ahem, I mean, English speakers feel intimidated.

[Conuly]

Correction, linguists recognize AAVE as a dialect of English. Saying "dialect" isn't a slur on the variety - Standard American English is a dialect as well!

The traditional distinction between languages is that they have to be mutually unintelligible, but in real life this doesn't work as well as you'd expect (Scots, anyone?) Still, even if I miss all the nuance, I can understand what somebody speaking AAVE is saying, and they can understand me (and probably are bidialectical as well, but that's another issue).

[xDreamerx]

The Canadian one is great. Technically, wouldn't ebonics be considered antilanguage?

[Terrie]

The intelligence of humans is rapidly declining, whether measured by SAT scores, music, personal letters, quality of political debates, the quality of news articles, and many other measures. This means that if one goes back far enough, intelligence would measure at ridiculous heights, if humans were even tens of thousands of years old.

Huh? Has this guy never heard of the Flynn Effect? What about the multiple changes to SAT scoring over the years? And how in the HELL do you measure intelligence by music?

[FuManchu]

- The probability that the Earth is billions of years old is less than 3.8% (and this is a conservative estimate).

True, but then all their estimates are conservative.

*Ba-dum tshhh*

[bananacat]

Language changes. It's no better or worse than it has always been. Andrew Shlafly thinks he's the first old person to ever have a moral panic about people using language differently than in the past, but he's just so typical. He thinks he's special but he's just parroting the same nonsense (in a different dialect) as every generation before him. I have no patience for prescriptivist arguments for language.

Our average intelligence as a species did go down slightly when Andrew was born, and will increase slightly the day he dies. He's dragging us all down.

[celestial]

This reminds me of a fascinating series that PBS did called "Do you speak American?" I don't think the Conservapedia folks would like it. All the more reason for those of you of a linguistic bent to check it out!

http://www.pbs.org/speak/

[celestial]

True, but then all their estimates are conservative.

*Ba-dum tshhh*

:lol: :clap:

[Kitten]

The separation of church and state is anti-Christian bigotry

But, but, but...it was established by those well-known Christian forefathers! You know, Jefferson, Adams, Madison...all those wonderful men who cherished their Christian heritage and set out to create a nation founded on Judeo-Christian principles!

Or at least that's what the conservatives keep telling us, despite all evidence of their actual religious beliefs and practices to the contrary. Does Conservapedia want us to believe that the First Amendment was snuck in later by anti-Christian forces? :roll:

[CanadianHippie]

I found it! I finally found it!

conservapedia.com/Homosexual_agenda

I came late to the ICOHCAC (International Conference Of Homosexual Changers And Conversionists) and they were all out of official copies. Thank you conservapedia for giving me access to the unofficial copy.

[Boogalou]

But, but, but...it was established by those well-known Christian forefathers! You know, Jefferson, Adams, Madison...all those wonderful men who cherished their Christian heritage and set out to create a nation founded on Judeo-Christian principles!

Or at least that's what the conservatives keep telling us, despite all evidence of their actual religious beliefs and practices to the contrary. Does Conservapedia want us to believe that the First Amendment was snuck in later by anti-Christian forces? :roll:

You should go edit their first amendment article to say that, they'd probably like it. All it says about the first amendment now is:

Liberals often focus on the "Establishment clause", arguing that because the federal government cannot endorse or establish a religion, the state must remain neutral, or even hostile towards religion. However, liberals often overlook the clause explicitly allowing for the free exercise of religion, also known as the Free Exercise Clause. Conservatives argue that this clause can be interpreted to allow much more leeway to the majority of religious Americans than liberals currently allow, and that it provides legislators with great flexibility in supporting the ends of Christian faith, as long as all other religious denominations are equally supported. The fact that Congress may pass no law establishing or respecting a particular Christian denomination provides the federal government with the freedom to support a variety of Judaeo-Christian ventures, notably the faith-based initiatives enacted under President Bush.

Does this make any sense to anyone else? I just don't get it.

[CanadianHippie]

Boogalou, I think what they are saying is that the free exercise of religion means the government can make laws that specifically cater to Christian beliefs so long as "all" other religions are supported. But their definition of "all other religious denominations" is a little off. What they meant to say was "all other Judaeo-Christian denominations".

So they are saying a couple of things. First the government can be Christian, second it can pass Christian laws, and third, religions that aren't Christian or Jewish aren't actually religions so they don't count.

[Boogalou]

Boogalou, I think what they are saying is that the free exercise of religion means the government can make laws that specifically cater to Christian beliefs so long as "all" other religions are supported. But their definition of "all other religious denominations" is a little off. What they meant to say was "all other Judaeo-Christian denominations".

So they are saying a couple of things. First the government can be Christian, second it can pass Christian laws, and third, religions that aren't Christian or Jewish aren't actually religions so they don't count.

Oh, that makes sense. It's hard to know how much time to spend re-reading this stuff because some of it will never make any sense. You should consider writing for them, at least things will be clearer!

[Angri-la]

True, but then all their estimates are conservative.

*Ba-dum tshhh*

Ah great minds think alike! I was just about to post the same thing...then I saw yours. Your onomatopoeia of a rim-shot is better than mine would have been!

Hmm, the top 10 suicide states are mostly red or purple states on the lists I am looking at. Hawaii? The hell?

The scary thing about Conservepedia, while entertaining as all get out, is that some people will, like Wikipedia, use it as their sole source for information. This is yet another brainwashing tool: "It's on the Gothard approved internet, it must be the truth!!11", or someone going there to get a head nod for one of their outrageous ideas stumbling upon other bits of misinformation never before considered. It is an entire site devoted to creating a false history, and that is really frightening to me.

[kemme]

I have a hard time believing that Conservapedia isn't satirical.

But then I know it isn't and I'm sad for the world.

[CanadianHippie]

Oh, that makes sense. It's hard to know how much time to spend re-reading this stuff because some of it will never make any sense. You should consider writing for them, at least things will be clearer!

You can help me insert liberal subliminal messages.

[Kitty]

There are shit-tons of trolls on Conservapedia. Unfortunately with Conservapedia being what it is, it's very hard to pick up on this.

[CanadianHippie]

I have a hard time believing that Conservapedia isn't satirical.

But then I know it isn't and I'm sad for the world.

It is an even better example of an unreliable source than The Original Wikipedia though.

[Boogalou]

You can help me insert liberal subliminal messages.

Ok, we'll put them in capitals and double ellipses to make them more convincing.

[CanadianHippie]

Ok, we'll put them in capitals and double ellipses to make them more convincing.

Liberals often focus on the "Establishment clause", arguing that because the federal government cannot endorse or establish a religion, the state must remain neutral, or even hostile towards religion.ABORTIONS FOR ALL::: However, liberals often overlook the clause explicitly allowing for the free exercise of religion, also known as the Free Exercise Clause.SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE::: Conservatives argue that this clause can be interpreted to allow much more leeway to the majority of religious Americans than liberals currently allow, and that it provides legislators with great flexibility in supporting the ends of Christian faith, as long as all other religious denominations are equally supported. COLLEGE AND WORK FOR WOMEN TOO::: The fact that Congress may pass no law establishing or respecting a particular Christian denomination provides the federal government with the freedom to support a variety of Judaeo-Christian ventures, notably the faith-based initiatives enacted under President Bush. TEACH FUNDAMENTALISTS TO SPELL:::

How's that look? More? Less?

[buddingmedievalist]

Correction, linguists recognize AAVE as a dialect of English. Saying "dialect" isn't a slur on the variety - Standard American English is a dialect as well!

The traditional distinction between languages is that they have to be mutually unintelligible, but in real life this doesn't work as well as you'd expect (Scots, anyone?) Still, even if I miss all the nuance, I can understand what somebody speaking AAVE is saying, and they can understand me (and probably are bidialectical as well, but that's another issue).

Ugh, thank you. I meant to write dialect instead of language but that is not what came out. I've edited my original post

[Boogalou]

CanadianHippie, I think it's perfect! We must go edit right away and get started on ABORTIONS ::: FOR ALL :::

[JesusFightClub]

I love Conservapedia. Especially the Conservative Bible, which takes out words like "worker" which were sneakily inserted in there by godless liberals (who were probably fantasising about gay sex at the time).