Fundies and Short Hair

[Jessica]

Of all the things to argue over. Yep, because God doesn't have anything more important to worry about. Nope, let's fight over hair length.

[JesusFightClub]

I shave my head (number 2 setting on the clippers). It's a bit longer right now cause I am saving up for cool and permanent hairdye done by a professional and a tight shave hurts your scalp (get the shave after). Even at "a bit longer" it is extremely short for a woman.

Long hair is absolutely beautiful on so many. I am not even vaguely beautiful and I wanted a practical haircut which means you can get up in the morning, shower, put your clothes on and go in under 10 min. So I got one and never looked back.

[OohLaLa]

This is right up there on the list of dumbest things these people find to get so riled up about. Do some of them think that women with short hair won't get into heaven? Maybe they'll just be saved, but they won't have as many 'treasures' up there. WTF. And she looks gorgeous with her short hair. Much better than the fundies who insist on growing it long, but then have no idea how to take care of long hair. I think if there is a god, and he can feel "glorified' by your hair, it would much more be by someone who keeps it in a style they can manage and look put together, rather than long and stringy, or a frizzy triangle.

Just as a side note for some who commented they could not get their hair to grow long-- some of the time it is actually caused by never getting it cut. This is not always the case, but I've had a lot of clients who were shocked at how much better their hair grew once they started getting regular trims. The ends of the hair are the most damaged and most susceptible to breakage, particularly if you color your hair, frequently use hot tools, are rough with brushing (especially when wet), etc. When you start to get split ends and damage at the ends, those can actually run up the hair shaft and continue the damage so as the hair grows, the ends continue to get more and more ragged until they break away. You may not even think your hair looks bad, but if you never get it trimmed, any damage you have will stay on those ends and continue to run up the hair until it breaks away. This is why it's important, especially if you have trouble growing your hair out, to get regular trims. Make sure you find a stylist that isn't "scissor-happy" and understands what you want. If it hasn't been trimmed in a long time, you made need a little more taken off the first time, but after that it's better to trims more often and just have them "dust" the ends. It will look and feel so much healthier. I can't tell you how many times I've had clients come in who are very nervous about getting it cut, because they do want to keep their long hair, but there is no longer any shape to it and they can't get it to grow. Just by dusting the ends and re-shaping the layers a bit, they can't believe what a difference it can make in the health and appearance of their hair.

[CynicMom]

Long hair is a big hassle. My hair is thick and if I don't do anything with it (most of the time) it makes my head look like this: /O\

I bet that's probably the point. Long hair shows how much daily effort you put into it. Me and my pony tail don't give a damn.

[donks]

I pull mine into loose pigtails, low ponies and twist it up and secure with a clip sometimes. Luckily mine's not overly thick-no headaches. My husband likes it when it's super long, he likes it when I have it bobbed off, he likes it when it's growing out. Fundy men should take a lesson from him!

Gotta add, I lost my older sister to Hodgkins when I was 17 (she was 23). As soon as I heard of growing your hair to help cancer patients I was onboard in Lee's honor.

[snarkykitty]

Sorry to go off-topic, but what is the connection between staking tomatoes and teens rebelling?

[Constance Vigilance]

I think it's from raisinggodlytomatoes.com. Which is a reasonably terrifying site.

ETA: raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ch07.php

[doggie]

ok these two chinese woman must be the godliest of all.

[Witsec7]

I went from waist length hair to a #2 buzz cut. Now I keep it chin length. Its thick and still grows well, I've never thought of a hair cut as permanent so I've always experimented with extreme styles and colors.

[snarkbillie]

Sorry to go off-topic, but what is the connection between staking tomatoes and teens rebelling?

My parents didn't call it tomato staking, I picked that terminology up when I was fundie-lite. It's basically a kind of "being grounded" where you lose all autonomy. When I shaved my head it was a big red flag for my parents that I was drifting in a way that was "ungodly" and "not proper" so they basically shut my shit down. I lost all privileges and they said they couldn't trust me anymore so they didn't give me any choices. "We can't trust you to make Godly choices anymore, so until we can we'll make all your choices for you." I was not allowed out of their sight. I could not go to a friend's house or play outside or go for a walk or sit in my room and read. I was glued to my mother or father for months. In the beginning I was not allowed to choose when I went to the toilet, when or if I showered, what I wore, what I ate, what I read in the Bible, what time I went to sleep, what time I woke up, etc. They structured my life rigidly until they decided I was in the habit of "godly living" again and then they slowly let up, but never entirely again. I eventually did get to go pee in the morning before making my bed, but I was never allowed to go to a friend's house overnight again. It only took a year of that to realize they would never treat me the same again and I said "fuck it" and just went full out rebellion mode and ran away from home. I haven't been back since.

[Nesomja]

There is something very creepy about this blog and all the *smiles*, whilst she describes how she trains her children to be as unobtrusive as possible - sounds like she is raising inconveniences, not children. They all spend 2 hours alone every afternoon and they all Love It, she trains her babies from day 1 and guess what, they don't cry when they wake ...wonder if that's because they've learnt there's no point, no one is coming as she has her ear plugs in anyway. The young children don't get to choose their activities because she doesn't like the choices young children make. She is training up switched off robots.

[desertvixen]

They just ignore her on that day because there's no teacher to tell them to make a card or something?

Well, she isn't his mother (which is a BS argument anyway, because as a wife and mother, I expect a freaking card - in turn, I observe Father's Day for my partner by getting him something he likes) but it should be her husband's job to assist THEIR children in honoring her.

I have long hair and look good in it, but it also spends much of its time up in a bun for work/convenience.

[ADoyle90815]

If God wanted me to have long hair, he should have given me hair just like Kate Middleton's. Since he didn't, and lank, stringy, long hair is hardly a "glory" to me, I cut it. End of story.

Same here, if I let my hair get past my shoulders, it looks stringy, even if I have it in layers. At the longest, my hair was down to my bra strap, but for me, it looks best if I cut it as soon as it gets to my shoulders. I don't go shorter than chin length, because when I've had hair as short as that blogger, I've been called "sir" on occasion when I've worn pants.

[pixydust]

My parents didn't call it tomato staking, I picked that terminology up when I was fundie-lite. It's basically a kind of "being grounded" where you lose all autonomy. When I shaved my head it was a big red flag for my parents that I was drifting in a way that was "ungodly" and "not proper" so they basically shut my shit down. I lost all privileges and they said they couldn't trust me anymore so they didn't give me any choices. "We can't trust you to make Godly choices anymore, so until we can we'll make all your choices for you." I was not allowed out of their sight. I could not go to a friend's house or play outside or go for a walk or sit in my room and read. I was glued to my mother or father for months. In the beginning I was not allowed to choose when I went to the toilet, when or if I showered, what I wore, what I ate, what I read in the Bible, what time I went to sleep, what time I woke up, etc. They structured my life rigidly until they decided I was in the habit of "godly living" again and then they slowly let up, but never entirely again. I eventually did get to go pee in the morning before making my bed, but I was never allowed to go to a friend's house overnight again. It only took a year of that to realize they would never treat me the same again and I said "fuck it" and just went full out rebellion mode and ran away from home. I haven't been back since.

Good for you Snarkbillie! How old were you when you ran away?

[Constance Vigilance]

I have bra-strap length hair just now, yet weirdly I feel the fundies still don't think god would approve of me? Could it be that one's hair doesn't matter that much in the scheme of things?

ETA: I have roughly the thickest hair in creation, though, so if it is going by hair I totally have seat at the top table. :D Right next to the Maxwells and the Duggars, obv.

[snarkbillie]

Good for you Snarkbillie! How old were you when you ran away?

15ish. I was actually told to "get it together or move out" by the end of the month, I just left after that conversation was over. To be fair to my parents I did a lot of things I was not supposed to up to that point and they had no idea how to handle that because they were taught that if they made me memorize enough Bible verses and etc. that I would never make a mistake.

[pixydust]

15ish. I was actually told to "get it together or move out" by the end of the month, I just left after that conversation was over. To be fair to my parents I did a lot of things I was not supposed to up to that point and they had no idea how to handle that because they were taught that if they made me memorize enough Bible verses and etc. that I would never make a mistake.

That is mind boggling to me. I have 3 kids, and no matter how bad they mess up, drive me bonkers, or anything else, I could never tell them to move out, even as a threat that I didn't mean. I'm sorry that your parents sucked.

[Patsy]

*smile* *smile*

This is the blog brought up a while ago - family has a four-bedroom house, but one is reserved as a homeschool room so things can be neat and orderly, with four boys in one room and two girls (twins to move in!) in the other.

Look what I found in the comments on her "actually contraception IS sin, *smile* *smile*" post! arrowcollectors.com

Arrow collectors. Collectors. Collectors.

(Snark aside, she DOES have good organisation tips for big families, I think.)

[Avalondaughter]

I love long hair and love wearing mine long, even though as a short woman it's probably not the wisest thing to do. I have naturally curly hair and love the big, dramatic cascade.

That being said, a couple of months ago I cut it from bra-strap to shoulder length. I'm over 40 and it just doesn't look healthy anymore when I let it get too long. Plus it's starting to go gray and I haven't made up my mind about coloring it yet and it looks weird having these long gray strands. I'm sure in fundie land it would look quite perfect though.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I shave my head (number 2 setting on the clippers). It's a bit longer right now cause I am saving up for cool and permanent hairdye done by a professional and a tight shave hurts your scalp (get the shave after). Even at "a bit longer" it is extremely short for a woman.

Long hair is absolutely beautiful on so many. I am not even vaguely beautiful and I wanted a practical haircut which means you can get up in the morning, shower, put your clothes on and go in under 10 min. So I got one and never looked back.

This is pretty much where I'm at, though clippers are only in the back/sides (for me the top part is a bit longer so it shapes into a sort of pixie). I get it cut at the barbershop. I like that the only styling my hair requires is a dunk under water when I wash my face in the morning (I bathe at night and so will often fall asleep with damp hair, as a result I wake up with the front part looking like the kid from Dragon Ball in the morning - so it needs that dunking!)

Each person has a length of time that hairs stay attached to their head. The general average varies by hair type but there is individual variation too. If your hairs only stay with you for a short time, the result is that it seems "you can't grow your hair long" or "no matter how much I don't cut it it never gets long." Also the ends will be thin/scraggly often, if you let your hair go fully to its limit length (no matter how long that is) because not all of your hairs will stay for the limit length of time, so only some of your hair gets to that edge length.

A while ago there was a thread about a singer with hair down to her ankles and in the videos it was amazing how thick her hair was even at the end, and she says she regularly cuts it at that length. She would be one of the outliers on the "hair stays with her a long time" scale.

I like long hair but I like it when the ends are even, so people who keep their hair trimmed a few inches above their maximum length even when they go for really long hair.

[dairyfreelife]

I can't help but see a little hint of subtle racism in this long hair obsession, since a lot of black women can't grow their hair long. And there is a long history in the U.S. where African American women's hair has been a big issue. Even if fundies aren't intentionally excluding them, they're still unwilling to really think about what they're saying. I feel bad for the African children that are adopted by fundies because this is just one more way that they will never truly fit in. They're adopted as charity cases and expected to be grateful servants to thank their adoptive parents for rescuing them. And somehow I doubt that these adopted girls will have many fundie boys trying to court them, except maybe adopted boys from other parents.

I actually didn't know this, but I never care about what someone's hair is like usually.

Personally, I like shorter hair as my hair is very thick and when it gets long, it gets tangled up too easy. This is with conditioner. Shorter hair-about chin to shoulder-length is my cup of tea and the easiest to mess with and handle. I've had long hair before-almost to my waist as a child (my choice) and it was hard to handle.

[Kitchen Princess]

Cutting your hair does not make it grow. That's a ridiculous bit of baloney.

Trimming and styling your hair makes it look better. It won't make it grow longer.

Any given person can only grow their hair so long and then it stops growing.

[rachelsmith1989]

One commentator by the name of "Kim" (who seems to have her own blog, too) says that she doesn't believe that christian culture belongs in any other cultural landscape...good god... :doh:

[Kaylee]

Cutting your hair does not make it grow. That's a ridiculous bit of baloney.

Trimming and styling your hair makes it look better. It won't make it grow longer.

Any given person can only grow their hair so long and then it stops growing.

[jenny_islander]

My hairstylist told me that regular trims will make it easier for me to grow my hair long, although she can't predict how long. Removing split ends from the tips of hair prevents splits traveling up the strands of hair and causing breakage. The longer hair grows, the more likely it is to develop split ends. So regular trims = less chance for long hair to develop splits = more chance for strands of hair to grow longer.

ETA: She also advised that anyone with fine hair should avoid washing it every day. Either switch to dry shampoo or use liquid shampoo only every other day. Liquid shampoo every day will cause damage.

ETA 2: I wore a chin-length bob while I had an office job. I started growing my hair out when I became a SAHM, partly because I wanted to draw a line between my old career and my new one and partly because my husband likes my hair long. Neither one of us is fundamentalist, so it wasn't some decision of enormous spiritual significance--just, you know, an occasion of charity. Funny thing, charity. I wonder who told us it was important?